#the people who say the pina colada song is about cheating and that's bad are the same people who say that

[sciderman]

I really don't like how we're just glossing over the fact that Gwen cheated on Peter let alone MJ hiding this from him.

who's glossing? i'm writing a whole fic about it.

2. they were on a BREAK

3. you're forgetting that peter and gwen are dramatic irony the couple™ and at exactly the precise same time gwen had her tongue down mary jane's throat peter had his tongue down harry's. the exact same night.

the joke is that peter has been burying all this guilt for years thinking that he'd failed gwen and was terrible and dishonest and she was an angel who was too good for him until he finds out. gwen was always just as much of a messy bitch as he was. but he was too busy spiralling in his own messes to realise that gwen was just as messy as he was.

4. mj didn't tell him, sure. but that's because she assumed gwen told him. i don't think mj's the sort of girl to say "hey by the way i fucked your girlfriend shitlips" even if that would be hilarious. she didn't think it was a secret though and definitely thought gwen told peter.

and yeah. i'd hesitate to call it cheating - they were definitely on a break. they might not have laid down a law, and definitely both feel ridiculously guilty about it, but they. were. on a break.

i think it was just a necessary thing, for both of them.

i think for me, i'm not about the moral black-and-white of relationships - it always got me down when people point at the piña colada song saying it's terrible. it's about cheating. that's objectively bad and evil so says it in the bible thou shall not commit adultery yadda yadda yadda. no, no, shut up. that's not what the song is about. the song is about rediscovering there's stuff you've overlooked about your partner. that you can think you love someone, but not actually know them. and you can learn more about them, and realise they're not what you thought, and you can fall in love with them all over again. for me, that's like, the most romantic thing ever, actually. and those who look at it through the "this song is about cheating" lens completely sleep on how genuinely, sincerely cute and romantic it is. that it's a song not about cheating, but discovering stuff you didn't know about your partner, and falling in love with them all over again. finding out that actually, you're both the kind of person who's crazy and lustful for life enough to run away with a romantic stranger on a wild escape, but you were both too afraid to admit that to each other. i love that song. it's so much more sincere and human than any stupid love song. nay sayers get away from me.

i think peter and gwen are a lot like that piña colada song. neither of them are a villain. both of them make mistakes and both of them were messy and both of them had stuff to figure out before they could make it work together.

i... sighs... i'd like people to kind of stop expecting these guys to be right all the time. they're disasters. i wouldn't be interested to write them in any other way. and i promise you wouldn't be interested to read it, either. i'm here for the messy bitches who have stuff to figure out. shout out to the messy bitches who have stuff to figure out.

#sci speaks #ask-spiderpool #the people who say the pina colada song is about cheating and that's bad are the same people who say that #beauty and the beast is about stockholm syndrome and that's bad #claiming moral superiority over a cute quirky little song and missing the point entirely....... #i should've replied to anon “oh so its okay when peter does it but when gwen does it it's WRONG... god forbid a woman do anything”

[earlgraytay]

So on this hellsite people keep screaming about how romanticizing gross things in fiction is bad because it’s bad for impressionable people, or something. But there’s a nuance no one’s ever talked about here, which is that it is absolutely possible for a creator to romanticize something while explicitly condemning it in the text and making it seem like a bad idea. 

If you’ve been exposed to American media at all, you’ve probably heard the Pina Colada song- you know, the one that goes “if you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain” over and over and over again? It was in Shrek and Guardians of the Galaxy, among other things. It’s a song about a man trying to cheat on his wife by replying to a personals ad, and when he goes to meet his “new lover”, it turns out to be his wife! They have a laugh about the ridiculousness of the situation and discover that in however many years of marriage, they never knew some very simple things about each other. It’s implied that they stay together, due to their newfound shared enthusiasm for the most insipidly ‘relatable’ things the songwriter could put together to make the song as appealing to a wide audience  spontaneous adventure. 

I think we can all agree that this song is romanticizing cheating. The entire thing is played off like it’s a cute misunderstanding that just happened to bring this couple closer together. Instead of.... you know, a massive betrayal of trust. 

But there’s another song- Kate Bush’s Babooshka- that handles a lot of the same ideas in a slightly different and interesting way. 

Babooshka is a song about a woman who decides to test her husband’s faithfulness by sending him letters from a “secret admirer”. She signs the letters “Babooshka”. However, her husband falls in love with "Babooshka" because she reminds him of his wife before she got old and became... well, the sort of person who tests her husband’s faithfulness like that. Things get more and more exciting between the two of them, until they agree to meet in person and he declares his undying love for “Babooshka”. That’s where the song ends, but it’s implied that the wife doesn’t take it well- the song ends with the sound of breaking plates. 

The very first stanza of the song says “[the wife] couldn’t have made a worse choice” than to “test” her husband’s loyalty. But Babooshka also romanticizes cheating. 

How do I mean? Well, think about it like this. If you got a scented letter from a stranger who sounded eerily like your spouse, what would you do? Would you take it to your spouse? Would you assume that you had a stalker and act accordingly? Or would you pursue a torrid, passionate affair with this stranger, who clearly knows a lot about you? 

The last option isn’t realistic. Awkward silences are realistic. Quiet consultations with divorce lawyers are realistic. Torrid affairs-by-letter with strangers are Romantic, with a capital R. It’s passion and colour and excitement, it’s not something that’s likely to happen in reality.  

Romanticizing something doesn’t mean condoning it- but it doesn’t even mean portraying it as desireable within the world of the story. It just means making something look more exciting than it really is. Which... if we’re being honest, is about 90% of popular fiction. 

I’ve never seen anyone in this debate bring this up. Everyone seems to conflate “romanticizing something” with “portraying it as desireable” and that’s.... just not it. That’s not how it works. 

#the disk horse rides eternal #freeze peach isn't an ice cream flavour #fandom malarkey #general malarkey

[blogsmith57]

Movies Ansd Tv With Pina Colada Song

Movies And Tv With Pina Colada Song Rupert Holmes

Pina Colada Song Wikipedia

Escape The Pina Colada Song Video

Two Pina Coladas Song

Pina Colada Song Video

Janet learns the lyrics to the Pina Colada song. Janet learns the lyrics to the Pina Colada song. On the movie the sweetest thing who sings the pina colada song its a womens group?

In The Number Ones, I’m reviewing every single #1 single in the history of the Billboard Hot 100, starting with the chart’s beginning, in 1958, and working my way up into the present.

***

At least in retrospect, the ’70s must have been the wildest, most motley, most all-over-the-place decade in the history of popular music. Some genuine musical revolutions either started in the ’70s or matured during the decade: Hip-hop, punk, disco, funk, prog. But if you look at the ’70s through the lens of the pop charts, as this column does, you see excitement and tedium locked in a constant struggle for dominance throughout the decade, with novelty sneaking around the outside and getting some jabs in.

So really, the ’70s ended the only way they possibly could’ve done: With a badly-sung, infernally catchy soft-rock ditty, an infidelity-themed story-song that ends in an O. Henry twist. Rupert Holmes’ “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” has popped up on movie and TV-show soundtracks countless times in the past four decades; it has earned its place within our shared consciousness. And yet I can’t imagine ever being in a situation where I would actively seek the song out, where I would want to hear it. But then, I was three months old when the thing hit #1. Maybe I’m not supposed to know what motherfuckers were thinking.

Rupert Holmes, the man who wrote and produced “Escape” and who thus owns the chart transition from ’70s to ’80s, had been part of the pop-music dream factory for a decade when he got to #1. Holmes was born in the UK, the son of an American Army officer and an English woman. He spent the early years of his childhood in the English village of Northwich and the later years in the New York suburb of Nanuet. Holmes’ parents were both musicians, and Holmes went to the Manhattan School Of Music on a clarinet scholarship. Pretty soon after he finished school, he went to work as a pop-music professional.

Holmes was working as an arranger in the late ’60s when he joined the Cuff Links, an anonymous bubblegum group that also featured Ron Dante, the lead singer of the Archies’ “Sugar, Sugar.” When the Cuff Links broke up, Holmes recorded a song called “Jennifer Tomkins.” The single, released under the name Street People, peaked at #36. In 1971, Holmes wrote a cannibalism-themed joint called “Timothy” for the Pennsylvania band the Buoys, and that one peaked at #17. Holmes also wrote ad jingles and scored a little-seen 1970 Western called Five Savage Men. He was in the game.

Holmes released Widescreen, his solo debut, in 1974. Before 1979’s Partners In Crime, the breakout album that gave us “Escape,” Holmes knocked out four solo LPs. None of them sold, but those records helped Holmes build a name for himself as a writer of funny, irony-infused story-songs. Barbra Streisand was a fan, and Holmes wrote songs for her and for the absurdly popular soundtrack for the 1976 film A Star Is Born. Holmes didn’t score a charting single of his own until 1978’s “Let’s Get Crazy Tonight,” which peaked at #72. Private Stock, the label that released “Let’s Get Crazy Tonight,” went out of business when the song was still on the charts.

Holmes got the idea for “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” one night when he was flipping through The Village Voice, the newspaper that once employed me. (“Escape” is the second #1 hit built around classified ads; it arrived eight years after the Honey Cone’s “Want Ads.”) Inspired, Holmes hatched the narrative of a bored couple who, while attempting to cheat on each other, accidentally go out on a blind date with each other. As originally written, the chorus started with the line “if you like Humphrey Bogart.” While he was getting ready to record it, though, Holmes decided that his own songs had too many references to older movies, and to Bogart in particular. He changed “Humphrey Bogart” to “piña coladas” at the last possible minute simply because he didn’t want to let down any of the real Rupert Holmes heads out there.

If you stop to think about “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” for even a second, it’s a pretty nasty little song. The very first line is this: “I was tired of my lady/ We’d been together too long.” The song’s narrator is unhappy with relationship, but he doesn’t do anything to end it. Instead, he sneaks around behind his girlfriend’s back, falling for a sentence in a classified ad. The person described in that ad seems hopelessly basic. Likes: Fruity mixed drinks, rain, champagne, beach fucking. Dislikes: Yoga, health food. But apparently the guy is basic, too, since a few lines of small-print newsprint text are all he needs to ditch his relationship. He takes out his own ad, responding to the first, and he includes grandiose verbiage about planning an “escape.”

He does not successfully execute that escape. It turns out that the girl who took out that classified ad is his own girlfriend, who is just as bored with the relationship as he is. They meet up at an Irish pub and instantly figure out exactly what just happened. The song presents this ending as a happy surprise. In interviews years later, Holmes says that the guy was supposed to be an asshole, and a passive one. The girl, who is also attempting to cheat, was at least the one with the wherewithal to instigate the whole episode. Holmes was hoping that they’d both realize how much they had in common, that they’d recommit themselves to each other. This seems unlikely.

Movies And Tv With Pina Colada Song Rupert Holmes

I have questions. For instance: Where does this couple go from here? They both know that they can’t trust each other. They also know that they don’t really know each other. They’ve got all these completely elementary preferences that they haven’t communicated. After that initial rush of recognition, how does the rest of this relationship look? How long do they stay together? How are they not incredibly pissed off at one another from the moment they spy each other across the bar? How are they not, at the same time, both consumed with guilt upon getting caught? I don’t like this couple’s chances.

I don’t know if this is a good story, but it’s good storytelling. I don’t much like the characters or where they end up, but Holmes sketches out the whole narrative in a few quick words, never losing sight of his own melody. This doesn’t change the reality that the actual music behind this story is exactly the kind of wack-ass soft-rock pablum that I cannot stand. It’s got an awkward, clumpy beat that Holmes recorded with two drummers. (Holmes co-produced it, and he says that the studio band played sloppily that day, so he used the 16 bars he liked the best and looped them.) There’s watery piano. There’s a processed-to-death guitar lead. There’s a groove that can’t stop tripping over itself. And then there are those vocals.

Holmes isn’t a bad vocalist, exactly. He a classic ’70s singer-songwriter guy, a conversational speak-singer. But man, I do not like what happens when he cranks that voice up and hits the hook on “Escape.” The hook is, to be fair, instantly memorable. But this is not always a good thing. Holmes hits that upper register, and I just wish I was someplace else. I don’t even know how people functioned when this thing was all over the radio.

Holmes managed one more big hit after “Escape (The Piña Colada Song).” “Him,” the single’s follow-up, was another story-song. This time, Holmes sang from the perspective of a guy who figures out that his girlfriend is cheating. “Him” peaked at #6. (It’s a 4.) Holmes kept putting out albums into the ’90s, but none of them hit. He also went back to writing songs for other people. “You Got It All,” a ballad that Holmes wrote for the teenage Tongan-American Minneapolis-based Mormon family band the Jets, peaked at #3 in 1986. (It’s a 6.) Britney Spears, an artist who will eventually appear in this column, covered it on her debut album. Get ready to be incredibly depressed: Holmes wrote the song for his 10-year-old daughter. Before the song took off, she died of an undetected brain tumor.

I don’t know how you bounce back from something like that, but Holmes did. After “Escape (The Piña Colada Song),” Holmes has had more success as a storyteller than as a musician. In 1985, Holmes wrote The Mystery Of Edwin Drood, a Broadway musical based on an unfinished Charles Dickens novel. It won five Tonys, including two for Holmes. Since then, Holmes has written more than a dozen plays, many of them hits. He also created Remember WENN, a drama that ran for three season on AMC in the late ’90s, and he wrote all 56 of its episodes. He’s published a few books, too. The man can write, and the best thing about “Escape” is that you can tell that right away.

But Holmes is a whole lot more famous for “Escape” than for anything else he’s ever done in his life. He’s pretty funny when he talks about it, too. In a 2003 Songfacts interview, Holmes said this:

I have a feeling that if I saved an entire orphanage from a fire and carried the last child out on my shoulders, as I stood there charred and smoking, they’d say, “Aren’t you the guy who wrote ‘The Piña Colada Song?'”

Perhaps Rupert Holmes would like to escape “The Piña Colada Song.” So would I.

Pina Colada Song Wikipedia

BONUS BEATS: Here’s the scene from a 1999 episode of The Simpsons — the same storied episode that predicted the Trump presidency — where the not-aging-well future version of Bart sings a parody of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” during his sister’s presidential addresss:

BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the weirdly extremely memorable “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” needle-drop from the 2001 film Shrek:

BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s Kanye West, noted fan of the aforementioned Shrek scene, quoting “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” on “White Dress,” a song that he contributed to the soundtrack of the 2012 RZA-directed kung fu movie The Man With The Iron Fists:

(Kanye West will eventually appear in this column.)

BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the scene from 2014’s Guardians Of The Galaxy — which, like The Man With The Iron Fists, stars Dave Bautista — where Chris Pratt steals his Walkman back from the space-prison guard who is enjoying “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)”:

BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BONUS BEATS: Here’s the great scene from a 2016 Better Call Saul episode where Bob Odenkirk sings a few bars of “Escape (The Piña Colada Song)” and spouts some fake biographical facts about Rupert Holmes:

more from The Number Ones

Raised in Hawaii Jack Johnson was the son of a famed surfer and even tried to have a go of his own on the waves. Unfortunately an accident that involved teeth being knocked out and stitches being required kind of halted that dream as he was sidelined from surfing for a while. It wasn’t too long after that however that his musical talents started to become his thing and picked up a guitar and started strumming out a few songs that he’d thought up. He did this throughout college, joining a band and jamming as they performed here and there during their time together. Johnson’s big break came in 2000 however when he not only produced the soundtracks for a couple of films but he tried his hand at making them as well. You could easily say this man is quite talented but it might still be an understatement.

Here are a few of his songs as used in TV and movies.

5. Glee – Bubbletoes

Glee is one of those shows you either liked or didn’t think about. It wasn’t even a matter of not liking if it you didn’t watch it, as the energy and verve of the show was enough to make it interesting. But if you weren’t into the whole song and dance routine then chances are you wouldn’t dislike it but just wouldn’t watch it since the whole idea of not liking the show seemed kind of petty since it was so upbeat a lot of the time, or at least seemed like it. In many way Glee kind of took a lot of people back to their experiences in high school since there are quite a few people that can remember being in similar clubs.

Escape The Pina Colada Song Video

4. Sense8 – The Sharing Song

This show is something else and it was one of Netflix’s top prospects when it first came out. The ability to connect with people miles away due to a special quality that links them all, and the knowledge and skills that can be shared via that link is pretty cool, but it could cause some serious problems as well. You can’t help but think that some of the people that are connected would embrace this after a period of confusion, but others would seek to block it out since this is the kind of thing that humans would rarely ever be able to get used to since it’s not considered natural or normal.

3. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – Escape (The Pina Colada Song)

Two Pina Coladas Song

Walter Mitty is a man that no one seems to take seriously since he’s kind of a nobody when the film starts, though he’s far more important than many people would care to realize. Working at Time magazine where he’s been for so long he’s been taken for granted and treated like a shadow on the wall since he’s a very quiet and unassuming person. But when an important negative for the last issue of Time goes missing he has to go and track it down by tracking down the photographer. In the end however he finds that it was with him the whole time, he just didn’t know where to look. The adventure he takes though is what was truly important as it finally got him to open up to the world.

2. Curious George – Upside Down

Several generations have grown up with Curious George since in truth he’s been around for a very long time. As a children’s story he’s one of the most classic tales out there and is the kind of story that you’d want your kid to watch since it’s a very touching and educational show that offers a lot of fun and engaging activity that kids will want to emulate. Sure George gets himself into trouble now and again, but that’s the beauty of the design. Kids can learn how they can get themselves out of trouble as well since George is all about having fun but he’s also about problem-solving. This is just a great show for kids and a bit of nostalgia for adults.

1. Jack Johnson – Middle Man

For all his talent and all his skill at music Jack Johnson is still a very diverse man since he’s not only a musician, but a father, a husband, and an environmentalist that spends a lot of his time balancing his life out between the different roles he’s given himself to play. So far in life it seems like he’s done just fine and has kept everything as it should be. He’s a very open person about his life in music, but keeps a lid on the private lives of his kids and family, which seems like one of the best ideas since quite honestly it’s no one else’s business. He’s definitely a family man and someone that cares a lot about what he does.

Pina Colada Song Video

Usually that’s the kind of person that knows just what they want and how to make it happen.

[jamesbuckfastbarnes]

Before He Cheats.

(Can you do an imagine with either Tig or Happy based on the song Before He Cheats by Carrie Underwood.)

Right now he’s probably slow dancing 

With a bleached-blond tramp 

And she’s probably getting frisky 

Right now, he’s probably buying 

Her some fruity little drink 

‘Cause she can’t shoot whiskey

Right now, he’s probably up behind her 

With a pool stick 

Showing her how to shoot a combo 

And he don’t know

You sat on the other side of the bar with your best friend, Emily, sipping from your glass of whiskey and your eyes fixated on Tig in front of you. He didn’t know you were here, he’d left you at home after telling you some bullshit story about attending to club business. It had been happening most night for the last month, ever since Donna had been murdered, and you had finally paid attention to Emily’s accusations about Tig cheating on you. You’d been together for over three years, accepting the fact that he’d sleep with other girls on runs but he’d always reassured you that he would never sleep with someone else. He’d told you he loved you but that was clearly bullshit. You tipped your head back and downed your whiskey, beckoning the bartender over to you in order to refill your glass. You were beyond furious and the only thing stopping you from storming over to the blonde he was with and punching her was the fact you didn’t want to get sent to prison for aggravated assault.

“I’m really sorry he’s done this to you, Y/N,” Emily sighed, reaching out to touch your arm but clearly thinking better of it when she saw the anger burning in your Y/E/C eyes. “Do you want to go over and say something? We’ve been sat here in this dark corner well over an hour.”

“No, if I go near them then I’m gonna end up shoving that pool cue where the sun don’t shine,” You growled in reply, necking your drink and motioning for the bartender to just leave the bottle. “In fact I have a better idea. I’m going to make sure he never cheats on another girl ever again.”

“What are you going to do? Y/N, don’t forget that he’s the Sergeant-At-Arms of the Sons Of Anarchy. He could kill you if you piss him off too much,” Emily fretted, following your gaze to where Tig had now approached the bar with the girl and was buying her a Pina Colada. Of course she had to have a fruity drink, buying a girl whiskey would just remind him of you.

“They don’t kill women, Em, not even if they get pissed off at them,” You shrugged, knowing full well she was referring to the rumours that Donna Winston had been killed by one of the MC members rather than a niner. “He ain’t gonna be happy when he sees what I’m gonna to do to his beloved truck though.”

I dug my key into the side 

Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive 

Carved my name into his leather seat 

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights 

Slashed a hole in all 4 tires 

And maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats

Climbing off the bar stool, you proceeded to push your way through the crowd of drunken people towards the exit. Emily quickly followed, her dark hair flowing behind her as she struggled to keep up with your long strides. Tig didn’t notice you passing behind him, his ice blue eyes focused on the blonde he was determined to sleep with before returning to the bed you shared later that night. After stepping outside you pulled your keys from your pocket, approaching the right side of Tig’s truck and proceeding to carve your name into the expensive paint job he’d had done a few days before. Emily protested behind you, telling you just to confront him rather than destroy the vehicle he loved so much. You let out a harsh laugh and wrenched the door open, retrieving the knife from under the seat and neatly carved your name into the soft leather he’d spent so much money on.

“Seriously, Y/N, are you sure you’re not going too far here?” Emily whimpered, glancing over her shoulder at the entrance to the karaoke before returning back to look at you and widen her dark eyes in disbelief. “Girl, you can’t seriously think slashing his tires is a good idea!”

“You’re right, it’s a fucking excellent idea. It means the guys will have to come pick him up and my brother will see how much of a piece of shit Tig really is,” You spat, stabbing the knife into the last tire and smiling at the hiss of air that filled your ears as the wheel began to deflate.

“We’re talking about Happy Lowman here, he’ll turn Tig into a new smiley tattoo on his stomach as soon as he finds out Tig looked at another girl, never mind cheated on you,” She laughed, folding her arms across the chest and shaking her head when she saw you retrieve the baseball bat from the back seat that Opie’s son, Kenny, had left there.

“Fucking. Cheating. Bastard. I. Fucking. Hate. You!” You growled as you swung the bat at the head lights, going on to bring it down onto the bonnet and leave dents in the sheet of metal.

Right now, she’s probably up singing some 

White-trash version of Shania karaoke 

Right now, she’s probably saying, “I’m drunk” 

And he’s a thinking that he’s gonna get lucky

Right now, he’s probably dabbing on 3 dollars 

Worth of that bathroom Polo 

Oh and he don’t know

You threw the bat on the floor and linked your arm with Emily’s, leading her back towards the bar with a smile spread across your face. Tig was nowhere to be seen when you entered the smokey room, but the blonde was up on the stage and belting out ‘Any Man Of Mine’ by Shania Twain. Emily couldn’t help but laugh next to you, tugging you towards the bar where the bartender immediately poured you a glass of whiskey and handed Emily another Cosmopolitan. You felt an overwhelming sense of relief course through your veins, glad that Tig would pay for breaking your heart. Nobody cheated on a Lowman and got away with it, not even another member of the club like Alexander Trager.

“Tig’s gonna be so pissed when he finds out what you did to his truck,” Emily smirked, sipping at her brightly coloured drink as you flipped through the contacts in your phone. “Y/N, what are you doing? You’re not ringing Happy, are you?”

“Oh no, I’m ringing someone that can piss Tig off easier than anyone else I’ve ever met,” You shot her a mischievous look, pressing the call button when you found who you were looking for and brought the cell phone to your ear.

The dial tone echoed for a couple of minutes, your eyes rolling at Kozik’s inability to answer his phone quickly. You knew that the best way to get at Tig was by getting it on with the one guy he hated more than anything in the world. It would probably be considered petty by anyone who was an outsider on the situation but your anger blindsighted you from any rational thinking. In that moment all you wanted to do was make Tig feel as shit as he’d made you feel, show him just how bad it felt to have someone you loved cheat on you. Tig passed behind you without noticing you and Emily were there, the smell of cheap aftershave filling your nostrils and you knew instantly that he’d paid a visit to one of the cheap vending machines in the men’s room. The only reason you knew this was because he’d done the exact same thing the first time you’d met and the pair of you’d ended up sleeping together that night.

“If it’s not the love of my life, my reason for breathing, the only thing that makes me happy to wake up every morning,” Kozik cried dramatically when he finally answered, your eyes rolling at the blonde’s stupidity. “What can I do for you on this fine evening, mini Lowman?”

“How would you feel about coming down to Dave’s Karaoke Bar and teaching Tig a little lesson?” You purred, knowing full well that he’d go along with it if it meant that it would wind Tig up, the fact you were a part of it was just a bonus for him.

“I’ll be there in twenty, sweetheart. I’ll text you when I’m outside and we can walk in together, make sure he doesn’t see you before then,” Kozik told you, ending the call before you could reply and leaving you sat there grinning deviously at your best friend.

That I dug my key into the side 

Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive 

Carved my name into his leather seat 

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights 

Slashed a hole in all 4 tires 

And maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats

I might’ve saved a little trouble for the next girl 

‘Cause the next time that he cheats 

Oh, you know it won’t be on me! 

No, not on me

“Hey Y/N, might I say that you are looking particularly hot tonight. If you’re single now, does this mean that we can finally have that pleasure filled night that I dream about so much?” Kozik called once he stepped off his bike, greeting you with a tight hug and a gentle kiss on top of your head.

“One day you’re gonna get an Old Lady and she’s not going to appreciate the fact you’re flirting with me all the time,” You smirked, stepping away from him and pointing to Tig’s truck. “Do you like the renovations I did on his truck?”

“It’s a work of art, my love,” Kozik chuckled, leaning forwards to see your name neatly carved into the beige leather. “Writing your name is a particularly nice addition, you know he’s gonna flip after how much he spent so much on it.”

The pair of you laughed as you made your way into the building, Kozik’s arm wrapped firmly around your waist and your head resting against his shoulder. You’d filled Emily in on your plan when you’d been waiting for Kozik to arrive, which meant that when she caught sight of you walk in, she yelled your name loudly to attract Tig’s attention. You waved at your best friend like you’d hadn’t spent most of the night with her, Kozik leaning down whisper in your ear that Tig wasn’t looking. You turned to face Kozik, his blue eyes meeting your own Y/E/C ones in an attempt to resemble all those cheesy romance movies the pair of you had watched together in the past. It wasn’t well known that Kozik was a big fan of romantic movies, in fact you were fairly sure that you were the only one that knew his favourite movie of all time was Titanic, having watched it with him a hundred times and laughed at the fact he cried every time.

“Then let’s make him really fucking jealous, get everyone staring at us. Come on,” You urged, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the middle of the dance floor that was overflowing with people. “We need to step this shit up, let’s dance like it’s your patch-in party all over again.”

“Baby, I thought we’d never be able to reenact that night again. Remind me to hit you up if I ever need to make someone jealous,” Kozik whispered once you turned away from him, his hot breath on your neck as you grinded on him.

“It ain’t happening, Blondie. This is a one time thing that works out for the both of us, you get to piss Tig off and I can teach him a lesson,” You replied honestly, dropping down quickly so you were crouching before pushing yourself against Kozik’s body as you slowly stood back up.

“Then I’m going to go all out,” He groaned, his hard-on pressing into your backside as you swayed your hips before he span you round so you were facing him. “If Happy asks then I had no say in the matter, you blackmailed me into doing this.”

You nodded slowly and grinding your hips against his own, his hands resting firmly on your ass as he leaned down to press his lips against yours. A small groan rumbled in his chest when you responded eagerly to the kiss, feeling nothing but platonic love got the man as the pair of you battled for dominance with your tongues. You continued to grind up against him during the kiss, swinging your hips in time to the music until Kozik was wrenched away from you by Tig. You opened your eyes to see Tig looking furious, squaring up to Herman who was just laughing in his face. Trust Kozik to laugh at a time like this, he often joked that Tig was a pussy whenever you’d been alone with him in the past but you had seen the pair of them fight and Kozik had already lost. Anger began to bubble inside you after you caught sight of the blonde girl leaning against the bar watching the whole interaction, causing you to step forwards and separate the two men that looked as though they were ready to hit each other.

“No!” You snapped at Tig, rounding on the curly haired man and barely acknowledging the fact that Kozik was snickering behind you at Tig’s slightly fearful expression. “If you get to fool around with people then so do I, or were you under the impression that you’re allowed to sleep with other girls and I have to remain faithful?”

“Babe, it’s not what it looks like,” Tig protested, stepping forward to try and touch you but recoiling after you practically growled at him. “She’s just a friend, you know I’d never do that to you!”

“You’re full of shit, you asshole. I’ve been here all night, don’t think I haven’t seen you trying to get in her pants since you walked through the door. Not to mention you reek of cheap aftershave, you’re pathetic, you know that?” You hissed, removing the chunk of leather you’d cut out of his car and dropping it into his hand.

“What the fuck is this? Wait… you didn’t,” He gaped, rushing out of the bar with both you and Kozik following before stopping short when he caught sight of his damaged car. “You fucking ruined my truck? Why the hell would you do this?”

“You’re kidding, right? This is what you get when you go fucking sluts behind my back, you piece of shit! Maybe next time you’ll think before you cheat!” You screamed, Kozik’s arms wrapping around you to hold you back when he saw that you were itching to punch Tig in the face.

“Cheat again? Wait, you think we’re going to stay together after you did all this to my truck?” He laughed harshly, whipping round to face you and tugging at his curls in an attempt to calm down. “You’re fucking nuts, you know that?”

“Oh baby, you wish. I meant when you go get yourself a new little girlfriend in a week or so, she’s gonna see my name carved into your seat and realise how disgusting you really are,” You cackled, gently taking Kozik’s hand and leading him over to where his bike was parked next to Tig’s truck.

You kicked the passenger door hard before climbing onto Kozik’s bike, leaving an impressive sized dent which angered Tig even more. You flipped him off with your middle finger before wrapping your arms around Kozik’s waist, resting your head against his back and feeling the vibrations against your cheek from Kozik’s uncontrollable laughter. He flicked the ignition and the bike roared to life, Tig staring at you as both you and Kozik rode out of the lot without a care in the world. As you rode through the streets of Lodi in the direction of Tacoma, only two things ran through your mind. The first was that Happy was going to lose his shit when he found out what happened, he’d yell at Tig for cheating on you and then at you and Kozik for what you had done that night. The second was a more satisfying thought. Tug had finally been taught a lesson for what he’d done, and maybe now he’d think before he cheated on any girls he dated in the future.

'Cause I dug my key into the side 

Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive 

Carved my name into his leather seat 

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights 

Slashed a hole in all 4 tires 

Maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats 

Oh, maybe next time he’ll think before he cheats 

Oh, before he cheats

#tig trager imagine #tig trager #soa imagine #sons of anarchy imagine #herman kozik

[lalalauzzzzx]

Big long quiz time..

1 - Who was the last person you texted? Gemmaaar

2 - When is your birthday? January 9th 1992

3 - Who do you want to be with right now? a few people, looking forward to relaxed date night later ofc :)

4 - What sports do you play? None, i am not coordinated..

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts? My number

6 - What is your favorite song as of the moment? I don’t think i have one, maybe Crying in the Club by Camila Cabello

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with? A magical genie

8 - What do you feel right now? Sleepy, annoyance at my boiler

9 - What chocolate is your favorite? Galaxy 😍

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have? Only one at once 😂altogether 12-15 ish

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account? I’m not sure I remember, I was 18 doing my Media degree at uni and everyone got one at the same time to start blogging.

12 - Who is your favorite blogger? I have a few favourite blog accounts.

13 - Where do you want to be right now? Somehow warm and sunny

14 - What do you want to be in the future? Happy and successful

15 - When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

16 - Are you happy? Yes mostly

17 - Who do you miss? My mom and dad, my grandad, my dog Bruno, my uncle harry, uncle ken, frank, billy tucker, old friends 😊

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life? I’d like to have better luck and not have witnessed so many awful things

19 - What was the best thing you were given? Bruno and Tobes 🐶❤️

20 - Who was the last person who called you? Daleious Whaleious @daleironside 🐳

21 - What is your favorite dish? Pad Thai, Roast dinners and steak.

22 - Who is your best friend? @gemmasarah987 & Beth 😚

23 - What is your biggest regret? Not sure about biggest but not spending enough time with people when I had the chance, money choices, people I’ve dated and my first degree

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner? No

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with? My loved ones ❤️

26 - Name someone pretty. Milla jovovich

27 - Who was the last person you hugged? Either my auntie or my cousin

28 - What kind of music do you listen to? Bits of pretty much everything

29 - Are you over your past? Yes, no point dwelling

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts? My old driving instructor

31 - What kind of person do you want to date? The one I’m dating

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night? Always have done

33 - From whom was the last text message you received? My aunt

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt? Skirts all the way, very very very rarely wear jeans

35 - How’s your heart? It’s fine

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”? Yeah

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment? Suppose so @daleironside ;)

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend? That I’d like some precious stuff of mine back

39 - Do you have any phobias? Spiders

40 - Did you try to change for a person? I noticed I did when I was a teen, but I didn’t really know myself then. I’ve grown up now

41 - What’s the nicest thing have you given to someone? You’d have to ask them. I give a lot of clothes/books/money/etc donations to charities and the homeless

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship? Goodness no

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood? Good

44 - Name someone you can’t live without. My loved ones ❤️

45 - Describe your dream date. I’m torn between something cosy and low key or something adventurous

46 - Describe your dream wedding. Simple but fun :)

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s? I don’t count any flowers from valentines as it was my moms funeral, it was her day.

48 - Have you ever been kissed? Yes

49 - How long is your longest relationship? 2 years

50 - Do you regret your past? Parts of it, sure.

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else? Almost constantly

52 - Have you ever cried over someone? Of course

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone? I don’t think so

54 - Are you a crybaby? Depends on the issue. Generally no

55 - Do people praise you for your looks? Yes, sometimes it’s creepy

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t? I don’t think so

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret? Who hasn’t

58 - Do you like getting hurt? Well no

59 - Does anyone hate you? I don’t know. No one has said it to my face.

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”? No

61 - What hair color do you prefer? I don’t really care, in the opposite sex, gotta be dark

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it? I’d be rolling in it

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment? Yes

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself? Yes

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school? I’m 25

66 - Can you live without internet? Yes, parts of life would be boring

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone? I can’t remember the name, the “if you like Pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain” 😂and lots more

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears? No

69 - Are you a crybaby? This has been asked

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical? Yeah, shock and grief will do that

71 - Are you a KPOP fan? Not really

72 - Do you study hard? Yes, nursing school is bloody difficult

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love? Yes and I always would

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight? Yes ❤️

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat? Yes

76 - Did you have an accident last year? No, I did the year before, was in a van crash

77 - What kind of person are you? I’d like to think I’m honest, kind, loyal, open minded, strong and very odd :)

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone? No

79 - Have you ever been jealous? Probably at some point over something, but I’m really not a jealous person

80 - How can you prove your love to someone? Show them, tell them, it takes a long time

81 - What are you thinking right now? About the previous question.

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts? My auntie Jackie 💕

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase? Yes please

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel? Yes but not intentionally by people, I’m over all those.

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone? Yes, we all have at some point

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone? I have, I really dislike arguing I always avoid it

87 - Do you have trust issues? No, I trust my partner completely

88 - Are you broken-hearted? No

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”? Dale, and all my loved ones 😊❤️

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it? For what..

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”? Not so much, if you want something go and get it yourself

92 - Who do you want to marry? I’m not ready for marriage yet

93 - Do you believe in destiny? Yes/no

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”? Sure, not sure I believe in soulmates though

95 - How do you look right now? Been caught in the rain again, in a big hoodie and big socks 😊

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies? No, it dies.

97 - Have you found your true love? I’d like to think so.

98 - What should you be doing right now? I’d rather not think about that and keep procrastinating 😂

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends. No thankyou.

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Again, when I was a teen. Never anymore, I know my worth and I’m a positive person 😇

#survey #quiz #get to know me