#the random event is gaslighting myself into thinking I have a crush on someone

[aclownsclownery]

You know my usual rule is "If you have to question it, it's probably not a crush" but I'm beginning to wonder if that rule still applies if you have to question it in multiple seperate moments

#its probably not because Im not a huge fan of the idea of kissinf #but anyways the rule is to internalize the interlized iicky feels even harder #i also apply this rule or more specifically a rule very similar to it for gender because I keep trying to gaslight myself #gotta beat back the interalized transphobia with a stick #on another side note the reason those two are bunched together is because I use the label aroace #but every time I like someone (platonically) there is like a 48% chance my brain rolls the random event #the random event is gaslighting myself into thinking I have a crush on someone #queer