#the sun is so blue and sharp. it tears an unholy whine from the poor buzzing insect that i am

[trashcanalienist]

#you could never understand #born into the grave? i was torn from it #i want to return to safe darkness and silence and the gentle whisper of my friends beside me #if everyone is born from the past as i assume they have to be for why should i presume to be special...then it's just they all forget #and i remember. few others like me. most of those don't last very long before they return themselves to where we are supposed to still be #resting. no horrible disturbance. #the sun is so blue and sharp. it tears an unholy whine from the poor buzzing insect that i am #it is summer now and always summer makes me sleepy. warmth like i remember. but i cannot rest because like playful cat i want to watch the #dancing blue shadows spin and rustle across white concrete #i want to fill the glass hollows of my eyes with green leaves and blue sky and perfect cool water rush over my skin #my fevered hateful skin. #i cannot stand to hear all this noise #i don't want to see all this human filth #i want to feel the decency and calm and peace that i never have been able to feel in this horrible living existence #once i was a gentle creature. now i howl and cry #i could bear it once. i cannot bear it any more. there is nothing to keep me here any longer. #i want to be in the soft safety of where i used to be for centuries millennia dreaming and musing #i want to be gone from here this awful unbearable unlivable life #i want to be where joey is. wherever. #i am so tired catatonic animal. take this away from me. you can have it. i don't want it. #tear it all down #words i speak #nonsense