#the thing ex/hels is missing is wormman

[canadiankakashi]

(Ship bingo)

Hallo yes I would also like to see your thoughts on Ex/Hels or/also Bdubs/Doc ?

Ex/Hels is great! I do think they're quite cute! Relationship goals tbh

Bdubs/Doc is also pretty nice! They are simultaneously bitter exs and also very much in love with each other

#the thing ex/hels is missing is wormman #you got hels's partner ex and then ex's partner worm man #its so tempting to toss in a bit about them in the fic im writing #small reference because hels would get shot into the sun if he were to appear #and then you have bdubs and doc #its one of my favorite ships #simply because of their dynamic #its *chef's kiss* amazing #also if anyone's wrote bdoc during 2020-2021 theres a chance ive read and kudos'd your fic if it was on ao3 #i need to reread that tag #heck yea! asks! #ask game shenanigans #crys!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

*claps*

So, sequel ideas. Specifically for Wormman shenanigans. What if he goes to scout out the Evil X shop to see exactly what’s going on, and he spots the exploiter himself and just tackles him because friends

Also I can imagine Zed is literally the only one who knows that they’re different people, so EX just thinks it’s Zedaph and won’t show any weakness, so he pushes WM off and Helsaph is just like “Dude we’re friends :DDD, what the hels”

i love Raven ideas :D

this is a sequel to this one

...

Helsaph has absolutely no trouble finding the right building. After all, it’s got a giant statue of his old friend atop it, towering over the surrounding area. As he approaches, he’s delighted to see his friend themself just leaving the building. “Evil X!” he calls, picking up speed. “Hi!”

EX turns but their impassive expression doesn’t change. “Uh… Hello. Can I help you?”

Helsaph grabs them in a hug, delighted to see his friend again. “It’s been so long! How’s it going?”

“Um…” Clearing their throat awkwardly, EX detaches themself from Helsaph and pushes him away. “Sorry, I’m a bit busy right now. If you want to buy some derpcoin, there’s signs inside instructing you how to do that.”

“Why are you being so weird?” demands Helsaph. “I thought you’d be happy to see me again. It’s been years.”

“Years?” EX stares at him as if he’s crazy. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I have to go.”

As EX turns to walk away, Helsaph suddenly realises exactly what’s going on. “Oh, wait, no I- EX, wait!”

They pause, glancing back at Helsaph with a slightly suspicious look. “What?”

“You think I’m Zedaph, don’t you?”

EX blinks. “Who else would I think you are?”

Helsaph quickly digs the pink mask out of his pocket and holds it up to his eyes.

EX’s own eyes widen and they quickly drag Helsaph into the building. After locking the door, they pull Helsaph up some stairs and into an office overlooking the rest of the interior.

They stand in front of the closed door and cross their arms. “Explain.”

Suddenly put on the spot, Helsaph stammers over his words. “I’m, um… I’m Ze-Zedaph’s Hels counterpart. He recruited me to be Wormman back in Season 5. The “Zedaph” you befriended and battled was me.”

EX stares at Helsaph. “You’re NOT a helsmit.”

Not expecting this reaction, Helsaph frowns. “I am.”

“Helsmits are evil,” says EX. “Helsmits don’t run around in pink spandex and yellow underwear pretending to fight a quasi-evil clone.”

“I AM a helsmit,” Helsaph insists. I’m not sure if I can prove it but I am. My name is Helsaph.”

EX scrutinises Helsaph closely, causing him to feel slightly uncomfortable.

“I can’t go get Zedaph to prove that there’s two of us because I’m not actually supposed to be on this server so only one of us can leave the base at a time.” He hesitates. “I could take you there if you wanted? To prove that there’s two of us?”

“Oh I believe there’s two of you,” responds EX. “Knowing Zedaph, I’m not surprised in the slightest that he’s managed to clone himself. I just don’t quite believe that YOU are a helsmit.”

“Not sure I like the way you said “you” there but okay,” Helsaph says slowly. “How can I prove to you that I’m a helsmit?”

EX doesn’t even hesitate in their answer. “Kill me.”

Helsaph considers this for a moment. “Will you respawn?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

Helsaph draws his sword and slices it straight through EX, killing them immediately.

He nearly has a heart attack as he suddenly remembers that his name might show up in chat. But when he hastily checks the communicator Zedaph lent him, he sees something entirely different.

EvilXisuma was slain by [Entity]

“Oh my god,” he breathes.

Imagine if my WHOLE existence on this server was exposed and ended by me killing EX just because they asked me to.

It takes less than a minute for EX to appear back in the office and start to collect their items.

“It occurred to me about half a second after I did it that my name might’ve shown up in chat killing you,” Helsaph says, watching them. “Went through the five stages of grief in less than three seconds.”

EX chuckles, straightening up. “I’m guessing you were reduced to [Entity] because you’re not registered to any server so it didn’t recognise your code. Well anyway, I’m impressed. Now why did you kill me?”

“WH-?!” Helsaph yelps. “Because you asked me to!! What the frick is this?!”

“You could’ve refused,” EX points out. “Why did you actually do it?”

Helsaph stares at them for a moment, then sighs. “Because I want to prove I am who I say I am and I knew the real Zedaph would never in a million years kill you like that.”

“You’re right,” responds EX, nodding approvingly. “I believe you. So what on earth persuaded a helsmit to dress up in the world’s most ridiculous superhero outfit and chase me around for several months?”

“Honestly, just the fact that the prospect of THAT was better than my current life at the time,” says Helsaph honestly. “Which really says something about how I was living back then, doesn’t it?”

EX scoffs. “Oh boy, it sure does. Where’ve you been since Season 5?”

For the briefest of seconds, EX thinks they see a flash of red in Helsaph’s eyes. But it’s over so quickly that they can’t be sure of what they saw.

Helsaph clears his throat. “Not really something I want to get into now. The point is I’m back and I heard on the grapevine that you’ve been running a little scam.”

“S-Scam?!” splutters EX.

“I’m guessing that this derpcoin thing is that.” Helsaph points down at the shop floor. “I came over to find out if it really is a scam but I’m not really sure how to do that.”

EX crosses their arms. “Why don’t you just ask me?”

“Okay,” says Helsaph. “Is it a scam?”

“No.”

A pause follows this.

“I’m really not sure what I expected there.”

EX lets out a chuckle. “Heh. Witty, goofy, gullible. You really are Wormman, aren’t you?”

Helsaph frowns. “Why does that feel suspiciously like an insult?”

“It wasn’t really. You know, I actually kinda missed having you chase me around all day.”

Helsaph’s frown clears into a smile. “Aww, you missed me?”

“Nope!” EX says quickly. “I said I KINDA missed you chasing me around. It was kinda fun.”

“That means you missed me,” responds Helsaph sweetly, rocking from his heels to the balls of his feet.

“It really doesn’t.”

“You said you missed ME chasing you around. Not BEING chased around. Therefore, you missed me.”

EX rolls their eyes. “Add “annoying” to that list too.”

Helsaph beams innocently. “That’s something we helsmits have in common.”

“I’m not a helsmit,” EX responds.

Helsaph opens his mouth to respond that he had meant helsmits in general when he properly registers what EX just said. “Wait… y-you’re not?”

EX shakes their head. “Nope. Xisuma’s hels counterpart is Helsuma. I don’t actually remember how or why or when or where I was brought into this universe.”

Silence follows their words as Helsaph’s gaze flickers to the ground. EX isn’t a helsmit. What are they then? Are they a clone? Where did they come from? How did they come into being? What are they made of? Helsaph’s mind is racing with all sorts of experiments he could perform on his friend to find out the answers to these questions.

“...Helsaph?” EX prompts after a moment. “You still with me?”

“Huh?” Helsaph blinks himself out of his thoughts. “Oh, yeah, sorry. That’s cool. Anyway, I’m gonna need to investigate your little not-a-scam. Mind showing me around?”

Still a little shaken by the sudden darkness they had seen in his eyes, EX nods. “Sure.”

…

EX finishes up the tour back at the front door. “-so that’s pretty much it. Any questions?”

Helsaph nods. “Yeah. How is this not a scam?”

EX gives a chuckle. “Tell you what, since you’re clearly still not convinced, how about you take this premium derpcoin for free?”

They hand Helsaph a coin the size of their palm.

“I gotta head out now but take a look around for yourself, read the signs and books, then decide what you wanna do. Okay?”

“O-Okay.”

Helsaph watches EX leave, before turning his attention back to the coin they gave him. He can’t stop staring at it, turning it over in his hands, admiring the way it glistens. There’s no way he’s going to spend this. Not because this is a scam - because obviously it is. For a different reason.

This is the first gift EX has ever given him.

#hermitcraft #evil xisuma #helsaph #worm man #vaunna’s requests