#the thing with the hiking today made me all 😳😳😳😳 bc it spoke of a desire to have me in her life several months from now

[orcelito]

I got 7 reactions to the post I made on this app 8 whole days ago (when most ppl in my area got 2 or 3 at the most). & Several messages I haven't responded to. Tbh I haven't bothered since that first day, bc I got what I wanted out of it (decided to try a hookup and accomplished it 3 days after deciding it), and...

We've still been texting. Sometimes about things that aren't exactly typical of what you'd think for a hookup (emotionally intimate, I guess?). Today we got on the topic of hiking and I mentioned my fav state park & she said she was planning to go there over spring break and said she'd love to bring me with her... which That is a level of accepting me in her life that I think is not typical of just a one-off hookup kinda thing.

So like... idk if we r skirting around the possibility of a relationship?? Or if we r setting up to be friends with benefits?? Would it be exclusive??? Open??? Assuming there's any kind of relationship at all??????

Idk. It feels like there's Something there. I don't know what she wants out of it. I kinda don't even know what I want out of it. But it'd feel a little weird to pursue smth else when we're in this nebulous area... it wouldn't be cheating bc it's not like we're dating, but I'd also hate it if we Did end up dating (exclusively) and then I'd have to give up someone else........

Idk. I wasn't expecting to hit it off with someone like this. I'm still pretty burnt out on serious romance, so I don't want to just jump right into a new thing. I just know that I like talking with her and I'll probably want to sleep with her again. Beyond that...

I dont know. It's all so confusing.

#speculation nation #i think im bigtime failing at the whole Casual aspect of it 😂 #but i cant help being so alluring.... the girls Love a sweet nerd with a mysterious hidden darkness..... #might be why i have so many reactions too. i am for serious my post has over twice as many reactions as anyone else #idk. i have options. for now im just leaving them open. #it's only been a week now since we started chatting. still way too early to decide anything. #i will simply play it by ear. see where things take me. #we have. we have a spotify playlist. for sharing our favorite songs together. we are sharing music. #i feel like im going insane. this cant be the normal Just Casual kinda thing can it??? #not when shes said at multiple points that im 'the coolest person ever' or that im really kind #oh god am i turning into one of those useless lesbian tropes???? #'help this girl keeps saying im really cool and that she wants to go hiking with me and we are sharing music together #and also we had sex. do you think she likes me?' #fbkdfkshfkshdjd it sounds so FUNNY laid out like that. but the sex rly is just incidental and all ykno? #i dont know how many hookups shes actually had. i dont know how special i am to her #emotionally Or sexually. and i feel like asking would be rude. #so i am simply waiting it out. seeing where it goes. and being pleasantly surprised anytime it goes well. #the thing with the hiking today made me all 😳😳😳😳 bc it spoke of a desire to have me in her life several months from now #it's only been a week. it's only been a week. i have no idea what im doing.