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dropoutparty · 3 years

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ngc ramblings part 3- chapter 5

here we are at part 3!!! sorry this one took so long, i originally was gonna make this post include entropy and extus (along with finally talking about face in depth) but it was so fuckin long that im splitting it into 2 different posts! the next part isnt done yet but im like almost halfway done so it shouldnt be too much longer until its out! also before we get into this one:

tw for: death, animal death, and suicide. pls take care of urself and don't read this if those things are triggering for u <3

ok lets get on with the post

at the start of entropy zach doesnt waste any time getting right to the point. this place is bigger than the other planets so far, and zach says the music this time around is a melody that “started out normal but then got distorted” played by a violin sounding instrument. even tho i do sometimes forget that this is supposed to be a creepypasta im not surprised that he said it made him feel depressed and unnerved lmao. anyways, this planet has all new level types in it!! no reused ones!! ok now this is epic. the bosses this time around are megalon, battra, and mechagodzilla, but itll be a good while before we get to those guys because this chapter is long as hell holy shit?? buckle up babez <33 now, before i get into the meat of things as usual im gonna talk abt the planet name! entropy basically means “a lack of order/predictability or a gradual decline into disorder” and that's very accurate to this part of the story. at this point, red is pissed off and is getting desperate, which means from here on out things are going to be getting more intense and more unstable. this world is the turning point in the overall story, basically.

now with that out of the way, zach first goes to the worlds quiz level as usual! this time something was different. usually, in the quiz levels there would be goofy ass music playin in the bg (specifically the GH1D0RA cheat music, if you wanna like listen to it ig?) but from here on out its been replaced by the music from the games password screen, which zach called creepy earlier on in the pasta. im gonna glaze over the quiz again this time, but when we get to the next planet ill talk about all of the quizzes in depth all at once. basically all you need to know for now abt what happens here is face asks “do you like mothra?” and when zach picks no (after going on a tangent abt how mothra sucks lmao,, bro i swear im good at the game my controllers just messed up /s), face enters bastard mode and goes “TOO BAD!” and boom now zach cant play as anyone but mothra. zach is pissed for now but little does he know this is just going to become an even more epic gamer bc of this,, youll never get better at something if you never try and all that.

after that, zach moves on to the first level type- the forest. immediately zach gets an eerie feeling from this level bc he has some kinda fear involving forests at night (i can think of a reason why but ill have to talk abt that later just to be sure). hes also not feelin great about being forced to play as mothra, so the pressure of it all is def starting to get to him by now. the music in the forest is woodwinds followed by slow, rhythmic drums and chiming bells. must have been some ominous woodwinds and bells bc it made him feel like he was intruding somewhere he shouldnt be (oh rlly?? u dont say,, everything up until now has been fine /s). getting into the level itself, eventually zach comes across some weird deer-like monsters just vibing and scares them away when he gets close. later in the level he finds more of these weird deer along with a sloth-like creature on some of the trees and some raptor dudes killing some of the deer. zach shoots one of the raptors but thats about it. nothing really happened in this level but zach noted that he didnt feel like he was playing a video game, but instead it felt more like he was exploring a forest in another dimension. thats interesting for reasons ill ~get to later~ (yall must be so tired of hearing that by now omg,, i know im tired of saying it at least. i was gonna wait until after replay to talk about things but i severely underestimated how long this whole project would be, so i might make a post for the “more on that later” stuff before i get into replay. let me know what u think i should do).

anyways, the next thing zach checks out is the first tv screen level so far. these levels just play an animation with some music in the background, and theres a different animation per level. this time around the animation is of a kid with a beaver(?) head licking a lollipop and the music is the GH1D0RA music that the quiz levels used to use. the only thing of note here is that zach says he had a shirt that looked just like that when he was a kid. after that, were off to some of the weirdest fuckin levels in this whole thing imo- the hourglass levels. these levels have an entirely brown color palette, with grandfather clocks standing in the background (the level appears to be in like a hallway or something) and various time measuring things floating in the air. the music is the same as the board (ig cosby just didnt feel like thinking of what theme this place would have lol). after a little bit zach was rlly happy to see actual enemies from the normal game show up! these are basically like aircraft, tanks, etc. thats not the main attraction here tho, bc this level has its own unique mechanic! this mechanic is the colored hourglass items you can pick up. there are three of them, a blue one that slows time down and makes enemies from the past appear, a red one that speeds up time and makes enemies from the future appear, and a green one that made the time flow normally and spawned enemies from the normal game. zach found the blue one first, which caused a bunch of prehistoric enemies based on real animals to show up. after that he found a green one and fought normal enemies again, and then he found a red hourglass. the future enemies here look like aliens to me, and zach says that one enemy reminds him of something he saw in a book once. eventually, a special future creature showed up and zach was suddenly in a boss battle! or a mini boss battle? that description is probably more accurate. this guy doesnt have a face, and he can only attack by shooting a beam from his face, it sure does look cool! after zach beat it tho, he was off to the next level type, which is basically a toxic waste dump.

zach called it grungy and inhospitable, with the music being a synth ambient loop that made him feel dizzy while he listened to it. this is important because this is the first instance of the game making zach feel something *physically*, not just psychologically. all of the enemies here are mutated to some degree, with him first seeing green mummies with bird skulls coming out from vats of toxic slutch and a brownish cow skeleton monster with spider legs. later zach comes across a deer from the woods, drinking some toxic slutch (delinchous). zach got close to it to try making it stopped but suddenly some enemies came out of nowhere and scared it into running right off a ledge and into the slutch. rip :pensive:. after that zach found more mutated enemies (i.e some things with tentacles and some other deformed thing with human teeth) before he finally gets to the end of the level, where theres another miniboss waiting for him!! this ones a toxic sludge monster with a whale skull who attacks with a mouth projectile and by charging into you. the monster sank into the slutch and thats all for this level babeyy!

the next level is another forest, but this time its winter! its still at night, but this time zach doesnt feel off put, which he mostly attributes to the music. he describes it as a gentle, calm song that almost sounded romantic. the entire first segment of this level had no enemies in it, but dw this level is interesting i swear. the next segment starts out just as empty as the last one, but this time its silent. that is, until the music from “unforgiving cold” starts playing. yaa you remember that place!! i think i said it was less interesting than i remembered but its interesting again now bc it was foreshadowing these levels!! anyways soon after the music started up, zach started to come across tons of frozen bodies of the deer from earlier. some were mutilated, some werent, but they were all frozen and covered in snow. eventually zach does come across something living though, a sloth creature from earlier! its just vibing when suddenly the winter versions of the raptors from earlier rush in and fuckin obliterate the sloth thing. those things just blindly try killing everything in sight, and even start fighting themselves before zach finally gets to the last part of the level.

now this is where shit starts to get crayzay. this part opens up to a big empty field with a full moon and the nice music from earlier back. despite the nice music tho, zach immediately starts feeling dread and eventually he finds a lake. the lake comes down from the sky and starts to crack like an egg, a humanoid figure curled up in the fetus position dropping into the lake below and the moon halves disintegrated. this spawned the moon beast, the hardest challenge zachs had to deal with so far. after he finally defeats it, the screen goes to black and the name “melissa” is on screen, written in red. after that, the screen then says kys. the word kill then fills up the screen, layering over itself until it forms a picture of reds face. its now that we finally get to hear abt the whole melissa thing (which makes it sound like shes been mentioned in the pasta before this but thats not what i mean lmao). to summarize, zach had a middle school gf named melissa (also bro middle school?? wadda hell) who often went into “episodes” where she would stare off, expressionless, before trembling and putting her face in her hands. she and zach hung out in a field at night a lot but one night she just stared at the moon the whole time before running into traffic and dying.

NOW its finally later!!! were not done with entropy yet, but this is the end of part one of entropy so i wanna just take a little break to talk about things so far. this planet is FULL of symbolism and foreshadowing. to start off, i think a lot of the questions face asks at the beginning foreshadow things that happen. some examples are “is time slipping though your fingers?” which could allude to the time levels, “do you have any regrets?” which i think obviously foreshadows the whole melissa thing, “is it safe to go out at night?” and “do you find it hard to sleep at night?” both follow the same kinda theme, which i think relates to how the melissa incident happened at night, specifically out at night. i dont think the forest levels have anything too important in them, other than to introduce the presence of an innocent, harmless creature that doesnt deserve what happens to it later (aka the deer things) which might symbolize melissa. more evidence for this symbolizing melissa comes from the encounter with the deer in the toxic dump and the winter forest, where in the former zach tries to stop it from hurting itself but is too late, being forced to watch it die, and in the latter the same innocent thing from earlier is found dead close to where the real incident took place. the two big themes to keep in mind here are death and time, more specifically the past. most of the enemies here are either made from bones or kill other enemies, there's a dedicated time level referencing things that zach remembers seeing at one point (aka that one alien zach recognized), the beaver head had the same shirt as child zach did, it all connects to zachs past and the death of melissa. as for the moon beast, its the most obvious reference for reasons ive already explained. i dont really know what the moon cracking open and dropping a curled up human into the lake could mean other than some other thing melissa related, but i *do* think that the fact that the moon beast is the most difficult thing zach has faced so far is symbolic of the fact that the trauma from this event has followed him throughout his entire life, and its something he struggles with daily. it could even be the reason why he said no when face asked if he could sleep easily at night. the moon beast also has some black fur around its neck, which i think is meant to represent a tire track, referencing and/or mocking the way melissa died.

its so cool how this entire part of the story builds up to and foreshadows the bomb it drops at the end of the part, giving people something to look back on. a lot of ppl say that as soon as the melissa stuff gets introduced the story goes down in quality, and i do somewhat agree with that sentiment, especially if they want the story to actually be scary, but i think the direction the story goes from this point on is so unique and cool. it does follow the whole “theres a ghost in the game” troupe (even tho it was probably seen as a spin on that originally) but it doesnt do the same cliches as so many other gaming creepypastas do and it really takes the concept and makes it its own. i just think its neat,,,

anyways im done gushing abt this story, lets get on with part 2 of extus!! basically zach has a fuckin panic attack and, after taking a few minutes to calm himself down when its over, he decides that he has to finish the game now because if he doesnt its just going to haunt him for the rest of his life. zach has now realized that the game is “alive” and can somehow see his thoughts and memories, so understandably hes pretty freaked out by it at this point. when he keeps playing, the first thing he does is check out another tv screen level. this time, the animation is of a fish dude just kinda standing there with his mouth flapping open and closed and the music is the neptune board music from the original game. the only reason i can think of for why this is here is maybe the game is mocking zach for the panic attack he just had (bc when u have a panic attack you feel like you can barely breathe, if ur lucky enough to have never had one before and u dont know) but thats abt it. its probably just a random goofy thing cosby threw in there.

anyways, the next actual level is the first labyrinth level. this time around, its a gold labyrinth specifically. the music in these levels is a slow, ominous drum beat with female vocals occasionally coming in and (basically from here on out) the monster zach plays as is now half the size it used to be. i think this shows how zachs feeling at this point, like this whole thing isnt just being a big strong monster and beating up enemies any more, he feels small and scared and helpless in the face of something potentially dangerous that he doesnt understand maybe his confusion about the game is the reason *why* theres so many labyrinth levels here in the first place. anyways im getting ahead of myself. personally, i think the aesthetic of the gold labyrinth is very similar to the green temples back on trance. while trance had a more circular and soft theme to it's architecture and sculpture, entropys is much more square or rectangle oriented. despite this, i think that the golden mazes at least are another religious kind of building, and the architecture is just different because theyre two different cultures who just happen to worship the same spiritual figure (aka melissa. did i say that earlier? i think i did,, if i didnt well the religions worship melissa, not knowing she's a dead human or anything. probably).

moving on, zach notes how the gold labyrinth would probably have been impossible to navigate as any of the other monsters, so turns out face being an asshole was a blessing in disguise after all huh? anyways this place is full of weird gold monsters, lava/fire traps, and stone faces (both in more of an easter island head style and in the regular feminine headshot weve seen so far). zach comes across two feminine heads, one that is more adult looking and pure gold, and another one that looks much younger and whos eyes have red irises and blue scleras. this statue apparently looks a lot like melissa did on the night she died, so zach leaves it pretty quickly. i *think* this is the first time we see the color blue associated with melissa? if it isnt sorry abt that, its been a couple days since i worked on ngcr so ive forgotten some of the smaller or more subtle things by now. GOD i keep getting side tracked ANYWAYS eventually zach finds a non-gold enemy and sees it get picked up by like an arcade crane claw. hes curious so he follows the claw, only to see the monster be put in a big gold cauldron and walk out the side of it as a gold monster.

gonna be honest, no idea what the hell this could mean. like? theres been no themes of corruption or good things becoming evil so far so this just kinda. exists,, yea idk lol. im not part of like any discord servers or anything so all this theorizing and analysis has just been me, maybe getting some small ideas from like random youtube comments or something, so if something ive said so far has been unanimously disagreed with somewhere i dont know about it. thats also why this isnt really a definitive or comprehensive analysis (even tho im trying to be as comprehensive as i can).

anyways zach finds the exit soon after and hes on to the next level type (there's so fucking many of them ik dont worry weve almost gotten to all of them now), the indigo cliffs. the background of these levels is similar to the blue mountains from trance, but now the moon and clouds from the toxic dump background is also here (and colored indigo to match). the music here is just a deep rumbling noise. the first “enemies” he sees here are just a bunch of multicolored little guys coming out of a hole in the ground and jumping off a cliff. were continuing the death theme yall!! anyways zach continues, flying over some more weird creatures (tho some of them just look like dinosaurs lol) before he sees a bunch more of the multicolored guys out and about but this time theyre getting grabbed by birds!! wadda heel!!! zach comments on how the multicolored dudes seem eager to die and thinks maybe the moon has something to do with it (like melissa dude wat!!!! that's crazy /s). at the end of the level there were some more multicolored dudes just walking into a creatures mouth so zach attacked the thing and killed it and the levels over yay!

now its time for the bosses babeyy!!! first zach fights battra (basically an evil moth kaiju), the music is varans theme. battra starts off in his larvae form, where he basically just fought by running into you and shooting stuff at you. while fighting this form, zach noticed that the game buffed mothra because his gamer skillz were too cringe lmaoo. he beats the larvae form and battra goes into his second form, where hes basically a stronger clone of mothra (misogyny). zach fights battra and has fun doing it (for once,, good for him) and he wins yay! next hes fighting megalon (a big beetle/bug kaiju), whos music was gigans theme. im tired when im writing this so ill just give you zachs description of how he fought: “strong, persistent, but dumb”. after this, zach checks out the last tv screen of entropy. this time, it shows a big buff guy with a sack over his head hit a womans head with a sledgehammer while shes tied to a table or something. the music for it was the password theme. i think this is probably here because red is getting angrier? like this guy is still here after i triggered his ptsd?? what the hell!!!

anyways before we get to the last boss we have one last level type to get through- the shadow labyrinth. at this point, zach starts to feel drained because no shit sherlock you just had a panic attack and youve been playing this game for fuckin several hours at this point of course youre fuckin drained. anyways zach enters the shadow labyrinth, which is a black recolor of the gold labyrinth. the music is “evil ambience” similar to unforgiving colds music but distinctly different apparently. there werent any enemies so zach just kinda wandered for a while until the lights turned off, darkening the whole screen and (secretly) spawning tons of spooky enemies thatll chase and hit mothra in the dark. eventually the lights came back on and zach started scrambling to the exit. when the lights turned back off, zach was able to find one of the melissa looking statues and stood next to it. it warded off the monsters while the lights were off, so zach was safe. i think this shows 2 things: 1) its a little more validation for my “religion in this world worships melissa” theory and 2) it foreshadows the way melissa wants to protect zach at the end of the game. zach beat the shadow labyrinth a lot faster than the gold one so were done with all the stages now!! now theres only the last boss and red and were done with entropy!

the last boss is mechagodzilla, but when zach starts the level, normal godzilla is there instead!! its whatever tho bc soon the disguise is gone and its just pretty much the normal mechagodzilla fight (but now hes got a gay beam). at about half health tho, mechagodzillas sprite breaks into pieces like gezoras did way back on earth and reforms into not-mechagodzilla. even tho it looks uncanny (and the usage of the face statue on the front is probably there to further mock zach bc melissa) zach beats it p easily and now its time for the chase. ba dum ba dum thats the sound of a chase.

as usual tho, before i get to the red chase its time to talk about entropy as a planet!! i think the best way to describe the layout is “a big forest with a toxic waste dump in it takes up half the planet while the other half is a large religious temple/labyrinth with a dangerous underbelly”. there doesnt seem to be any intelligent life there now (its all dead by now probably) but there was at some point at least because imean the huge labyrinth is there dude!!! i dont have much to say for this section tbh bc i feel like i've already said everything i wanted to, so its time for the chase ig!!

basically the chase with red here takes place in a labyrinth level bc of course it does. this labyrinth, however, seems to be made of some kind of organic matter. is it flesh? organs? nondescript viscera? idk but it's pulsating and bloody. also this time red has wings too!! anyways, basically zach avoids red throughout the maze, red breaks through one of the walls with his big alien tongue, and zach gets to the end of the maze. nothing crazy happens at the end of this chapter (i think it was crazy enough as is) so thats the end of that and now its time for the penultimate planet- extus.

#ngc ramblings #nes godzilla creepypasta #godzilla nes creepypasta #godzilla nes

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cake-of-awesome · 5 years

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today was busy

it was free comic book day so i spent the morning hanging out with a friend doing that. we ended up walking all over down town, there was a bake sale going on, got some baked goods, and turns out theres an upcoming comic comptition sponsored by the local comic shop and library.

the library supposed to be hosting meet ups and workshops as a way to help budding artists get the help they need as well as acting as a social hub for people so theyre not all isolated while working on these comics. im really interested in doing it but i guess we’ll see. i’d have to produce 12 pages which is kind of a lot if i consider all the other projects im working on so im going to see if i can get some others to join in.

later that evening i met up with another friend and we visited this bird fest art gallery and it was interesting. its been a long while since ive seen a local art exhibit. i found myself amazed at my friend and how she was able to talk to easily with the artists we met over there, and how eloquent she was about talking about other peoples work. shes so adept at picking up on key themes and ideas from a work, i realize it takes me a while to really absorb things mostly because im still figuring out my own impressions.

one of the artists we met was really cool, i think shes from central europe and did these gorgeous paintings of these tropical birds. there were some really fun descriptions that made us laugh, i think she saw us laughing and thought we were making fun of her but thankfully we were able to explain why we liked the paintings so much and it seemed like she was really flattered by having fans.

i ended up getting her business card, i plan to follow her on instagram to see what she’ll do next

after that we went to a nearby bar and it was a lot of fun. i really liked the bar for their mixed drinks. the two of us ended up talking about a bunch of different stuff and eventually another friend of ours showed up with her psuedo sorta date. she doesnt really like the guy and wants to break it off with him but hasnt just yet. i really hope she breaks it off soon.

while we were hanging out the topic eventually turned to dating and dating apps. the friend i had originally met up with knows how i like girls, and so she was curious how my dating adventures were going. and the truth was nothings happened. ive been neglecting my dating apps and i know its my own fault. talking is hard and so i avoid them.

we also talked about the dating scene and how the city we live in is so different from larger cities. theres no dance clubs really, much less gay bars. its isolating. i think my friend offered to be a wingwoman, it was hard to hear what she all said from how loud it was at the bar. midway through our conversation i realized or at least remembered some things that made me feel sad.

i still dont really know how to label myself as. i know theres no need to label myself but at the same time i would like to know what my own identity is. for a while i saw myself as asexual. i didnt really have the drive to be in a sexual relationship and i never found myself being attracted to anyone either.

but now that im older i can see that ive been struggling with depression for a while now, and with that having a hard time opening up and just connecting with others due to my own inability to connect to my own emotions. between that and internalized homophobia i wonder just how much of my lack of attraction is just due to my brain acting funny

i also recognize there’s a fear about being in a relationship. ive never been in a serious relationship before. and so i have no idea what to expect or where it’ll go or lead. i realize this is a silly thing to be afraid of, at the best it’ll be something thats something like friendship but more, something thats more intimate physically and maybe emotionally. and thats something i really want, i really am lonely and i’d like to have something of that warmth

but at the same time? i worry that my want to not be lonely is clouding my judgement too. i could just be overthinking this though. i know if i just follow my gut things should be okay. but this fear kind of ruins it too.

meeting people is hard. talking to people is harder. developing a relationship thats meaningful and fun and nice and safe is even harder. there is no easy way to get what i want in life. i need to accept that and make babysteps and celebrate those little victories rather than be upset that im not at the finish line.

#whispers

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roughentumble · 7 years

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DISCLAIMER I PROBABLY PULLED ALL OF THIS OUT OF MY ASS AND ITS PROBABLY A BAD INTERPRETATION BUT ITS MINE SO BACK OFF

SORRY. IDK WHY I SUCK AT EVALUATING THIS MOVIE IN PARTICULAR imo, theres a LOT of emphasis put on control. they talk about dictatorships, how they repress both art/culture, AND knowledge/learning. i'm gonna avoid talking about what i think Really Happened, because i havent entirely worked that out for myself, but for themes and what they represent and why this story's being told... i think it's largely a meditation on the ways we're repressed by society at large, our smaller and more insular social groups, and the closest relationships with loved ones(so essentially, the world at large and at every level of interpersonal relationship and society in general) we're given a tale of two physically identical people to illustrate two extremes in behavior and personality, and how the same outside forces conspire in the same way to tear them apart, tear them down, and force them into roles they dont want to inhabit. it also forcibly strips them from their individuality, their personhood, and their self expression- they will never be a single, unique person ever again, because they will always know there's someone else out there wearing their face. going back to the extremes in behavior n such... it's easy to be an academic and look at someone who is an actor, or an artist, and think of them as the penultimate in self-expression and personal freedom. but at the same time, if you're a creative it's easy to look at someone in a more stable, academic or scientific role and think that they have more freedom to be themselves, in that they dont need to constantly maintain an Artsy Appearance to Stay Relevant n such. they can literally just be who they are, and if they have no inspiration they can just go back to work until true inspiration strikes. but thats ultimately not true, because NO ONE is allowed true self expression. neither of these men are allowed to be their authentic selves!! the teacher spends nights drinking wine and plowing his fuckbuddy, sure, but it's PASSIONLESS, it's rote and he's sick of it but he has nothing else. everyone(including his own mother) tells him he has a good apartment, a great career, he should be happy and thankful for what he has, but what he has doesnt FULFILL him. but he keeps doing it anyway, because it's the narrative society's constructed for him, the Correct Life Path. he's miserable, and trying to communicate so gets him shut down and told there's something wrong with him. he's held to the expectations of that life, whether he wants it or not and the actor man sees his casual fuck buddy and his complete lack of immanent baby-having and sees him as the pinnacle of freedom, because this isnt the life he wanted for himself either. anthony's miserable, he feels trapped, and he has no outlet to escape into the life he WANTS to live. he wants to be single, he wants to drink and fuck and he absolutely doesnt want a baby. he doesnt want to be a father. also, it's interesting to note how adam steps into anthony's life at the end. they both look the same because they're both put under the same pressure to conform to society's expectations, and he's capable of putting on a persona and playacting as anthony, but it's as fake and miserable and heavy as his last one. and it only brings to light how REPLACEABLE he is. even in anthony's death(assuming he died in that car crash), adam is STILL NOT GRANTED HIS OWN AUTONOMY! he still cant escape the knowlede that he's not his own person, he's a puppet of society who doesnt get to feel genuine joy or self determination because NONE OF THIS IS THE LIFE HE WANTED TO LIVE, but both are the life he's now forced to inhabit. so like.... lets talk about this from different levels. starting with the closest ring(wife, mother, best friend, other close relationships), then the second closest(work friends, neighborhood, social groups you choose to be part of like your local DnD group or soccar team or whatever your niche interest is), then the farthest ring(society as a whole) so. well actually maybe its fairly obvious, and i dont need to get into it??? hmm. well, obviously anthony feels trapped by his wife. he doesnt like that she's pregnant or that he's being tied down, and as much as adam isnt big on his current relationship, hes not exactly thrilled by the pregnant wife either, because of the way she represents a loss of self identity she shows how easily he can step into someone else's life to replace them, AND how easily he himself can be replaced, and how he can never truly be himself. she also imposes a lot of ideas of how he should be onto him. same with the mother, she's cruelly dismissive of adam's wants and desires and creative self expression, all in an attempt to love him and "look out for him"- because if he's financially stable then he's provided for and safe and that's all that matters. not his actual happiness, but rather how "safe" he is and how much she can pat herself on the back for having raised such a "respectful" child things turn awkward in adam's life whenever he expresses a dissenting opinion(he isnt a huge film fan, but most people are expected to have at least a passing interest in film, and when his coworker brings up films as a neutral topic and he expresses that he isnt a fan, it turns the conversation awkward and stilted until he's given a film to watch anyway, because that's the social expectation) what's funny though, is that despite their ultimately antagonistic relationship and the way they reflect a loss of individuality and personhood, the only reason they meet is because of the intersection of knowledge and culture, and they find in each other a sense of community, commiseration, and relatability. who do they understand instantly and intrinsically? who do they seek out? who do they actually SHOW THEIR TRUE EMOTIONS TO throughout the film? EACH OTHER. on the phone with each other for the first time, adam starts stumbling over his words and saying things in the worst possible way, and admits he only gets this way when he's excited, yet we never see him act like that again throughout the film... because nothing else EXCITES him he's excited by the thought of someone else understanding. of someone to commiserate with, to relate to. someone who feels what he feels. a sense of true community. and he gets that, but in doing so looses the one thing that he truly thought of as unique(viewing himself as one of the only- or at least the few- who felt stifled and lacking in true creative outlets in their lives) (i also think thats why anthony responds with more joy and amazement, because for him he's reassured by the communal feeling and the fact that even someone in a Respectable Job could feel that way, whereas adam is horrified because EVEN PEOPLE IN CREATIVE JOBS FEEL THAT WAY) society at large held them both down to such a startling degree that anthony viewed his wife as a spider, himself caught in a web of commitment, while adam felt every day blur together as he shambled through life in a daze, both steeped in misery. they hated their lives, lives imposed on them by a society that operates through subjugation and a suppression of individuality. and they both embodied one of the two major things you can use to combat such a society- and they were both held back and burdened by expectations specifically tailored to hold back those ideas, and keep that individuality from blossoming. but then adam's knowledge met with anthony's art/culture, and they were able to OPEN UP to one another. knowledge became aware of art, and together they forged themselves a small space to really try and feel what they felt and develop who they are as people, without all these expectations weighing them down and moulding them into people they didnt wanna be. and did they ultimately crash and burn(no pun intended)? yeah. they did. but they tried. and they only failed so spectacularly because of a society that wanted them to fail, that kept their emotional growth in that area stunted to keep them from ever rising up against these ingrained ideas that are ultimately harmful now, am i saying these were two good and pure men deserving only of nice things, who never made a mistake???? no. they were both huge assholes. i mean, anthony wanted to fuck adam's GF... WHILE SHE THOUGHT HE WAS ADAM. he tried to push her out a goddamn moving car. adam tried to fuck her while she was asleep at one point, and then fucked anthony's wife while SHE thought HE was anthony---- these are SHITTY PEOPLE. but i mean... i dunno, its, the point isnt to be about perfect people, but instead to show how badly all these limitations and expectations can fuck people up, leave them emotionally stunted and miserable, how it can lead to depression and a lack of identity or a sense of self... how it leads to tragedy, basically.

#enemy tag #long post tag

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itsanarchivenow · 7 years

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im gonna put this under a readmore because its going to get long but its just me screaming about she will be loved vs the rest of the songs about jane album

okay so first of all this is following the fact that songs about jane is literally about one girl like a lot of people speculate that because its so nuanced that the ‘jane’s in the songs have to be different ‘jane doe’ figures but that isnt the case at all?

the artistic beauty of the whole album lies therein too with adam and jane both being entirely different ‘characters’ from one point in their relationship to the next and the way that they were constantly dancing around each other in such intricate patterns

naturally it was hell to live for both of them but im not talkng about the literal relationship between the two being in any way admirable im talking about the conceptual dynamic between them and the way it was immortalized lyrically

she will be loved and the popularity that came out of it is kind of infuriating because it and this love really became the staples of the album and while i dont mind this love as much (aside from being drastically overplayed during the albums second life in like 07) i feel like the capitalization of she will be loved was not only an insult to the spirit of the album but one of if not the single biggest factor in the total downfall of maroon 5s style as a whole post-album

she will be loved reduces the vibrant, fluctuating, explosive relationship between adam and jane to your stereotypical romance film skinny love and not only is everyone in the world absolutely exhausted of that trope to begin with but it doesnt accurately represent the theme of the album at all? and yet it still became that albums face song, the song people think of when they think of songs about jane, because generic boys being sad over generic girls is what sells on the radio

it doesnt have any depth of feeling besides the baseline emotion that everyone on earth can relate to because theres absolutely no specificity (or context in general) and people can take advantage of the utter lack of information present and project however they damn well like! which in some cases is nice but when youre talking about an album like songs about jane where the writer has so delicately placed something so significant to him, the entire tale of the love of his early life, sometimes music isnt about relating to it. sometimes music is about sympathizing for a situation youll never be part of and living that story vicariously through the storyteller and just... appreciating it, like the way you would treasure a novel

isolating she will be loved is so disrespectful to all of the emotion poured into this album because what little you could actually make of the song within the context of the album gets stripped from it and then not only does it not fit into the image of songs about jane but the song fucking sucks my dude

like it sounds great audibly but artistically its just beating a dead horse

she will be loved is not a universal love song. it is not for you to listen to and think about the girl from english class and oh my god if i hear one more person use she will be loved as some kind of friendzone anthem i will eat my own legs

she will be loved is the calm before the storm that constantly gets revisited through the album, being the manifestation of an extremely unhealthy relationship, as the hopeful but pained expression that one day their relationship might become something like it is in the movies if they just try a little harder and forgive a little more and help each other through what hurts them instead of being whats hurting the other

adam is laying himself down after this love, which as you know is about one of the many many many times they break up in episodes of rage, and then shiver (please listen to shiver if you havent heard it because its one of the songs that gets tragically overlooked) which is essentially the tension fueled makeup sex track and it literally opens with him being aware of her (their) hot and cold behavior but wanting to make up for it and ‘find a way to her heart’

the shiver vibe is mostly fast tempo heat of passion but she will be loved is the emotional followup - you could even venture to call it the straight up aftercare. where adam is trying to piece together the fragments of their relationship, whatever it takes (AGAIN) and move on because he genuinely loves this girl and he wants to work for her. he knows the nuances of her personality down to the bone and he knows that what they have isnt good but he wants to make it good because all drama aside shes important to him and he thinks that what they have, or at least what they could have, is worth the struggle

it isnt a skinny love story. its a crucial part of a persistent pattern of abuse, and then its followed by tangled which is literally ‘why cant we escape this cycle’. they recognize that theyre incompatible and for the most part dont even really like each other (or themselves) as human beings but the fact that they feel like theyre both getting what they deserve is part of why they stay entranced and consequently drive themselves to dissect themselves further and dig the grave deeper and. well it isnt called a cycle for nothing kids

but its the one song that doesnt embody the real human beings behind the album as much as much more idealistic versions of themselves in a simplified and still idealistic if sad scenario that took off on this album

and you know what came out of the capital success of that song?

maroon 5 abandoning their entire brand and turning into a radio hit producing bubblegum pop machine churning generic, emotionless love songs out for the mass public and catering to the fucking kiddy demographic of all things. from punch to the gut true to life tearjerking thematics and a classic, iconic sound to songs like sugar

i still like maroon 5s music to a degree but i wish they could have stuck with the principle behind songs about jane and even before they were maroon 5 and still producing music as kara’s flowers on like, the fourth world. the fourth world has a little bit of a predated simple plan type vibe but considering they were just kids when they made it? it has so much more emotional weight than any of their new content

the thing about unprofessional music is that its written as an expression and not as something designed to make money and while i cant blame maroon 5 for selling out (because with the kind of money they make now anyone who says they wouldnt do the same thing is absolutely lying) i am pretty disappointed in the loss of spirit that used to be so visceral in the early days

it was damn good entertainment and the work behind it was incredible and deserves so much more credit than it got and i cant help but think about where they would be now if it were the sun or not coming home that got the radio recognition that she will be loved got still authentic? still acutely critical? a dog can dream!!!

#maroon 5 #songs about jane #if you cant tell this is one of my special interests i could talk about this for hours #i had to fistfight myself to stay focused on the VERSUS here and not just derail into #talking about the album as a whole #anyways im putting it in the tags because i need.. the world to know #m5 #.script

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isaacathom · 7 years

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ok so. gym 5 is a gym leader who blatantly ignores the needs of their community. so their specialisation should be sorta weird, given their location. something unrepresentative, lets say. id say electric but i also feel like ive seen enough power plants and towns surrounded by deserts with electric gyms to go nah (thinking specifically Elesa and Clemont, i dont remember the others except soffy but he’s not part of THAT specific mesh). Bug would be funny, couldnt easily do that. Poison might also be a good type in terms of themeing, but i also think that MIGHT work better for gym 8, since theyre actively rotting the town and shit. hmm. yea, i feel like Bug works best for an ‘out of place’ type. most of the others, like Grass, would serve a useful purpose? so unless the intent is to show that 5 has the tools to benefit his town and doesnt use them??? that might actually be interesting, admittedly. that is /sorta/ covered by Will, but Will also isnt a Cunt (except in his very first iteration, and only for like 5 chapters, rip you asshole).5 is like Will’s general self absorption taken to the next level, since Will at least does his job and helps when he wants to, which is occasionally. 5 doesnt help because 5 doesnt want to. so Grass would actually be interesting. Grass is usually quite early in games by im not /super/ fussed, considering my psychic gym is the second gym.

could possibly go further with this negligence idea. after all, what is a gym leader without a gym? his gym would be weirdly sparse, and weirdly quiet. the only other person there is that Gym Guy. you could walk down a long empty room, with evidence of stuff being moved long ago. at the end, its the Gym Leader, sitting in veritable paradise, on his own. his decadence, really, while everything else is dusty and quiet. outside, there are small pockets of green, but in his gym its just BLOOM, but only where he is. and of course, you’re there to fight him and deliver the package from Felicity (shes probably trying to buy his loyalty, which i cant imagine being difficult if shed come herself). and of course, he tells you to take it up north, to a scrappy little town that ekes out an existence by the river side, far from everyone else. you’d deliver the package to a sort of town mayor, who laments the state of the West at present (which is really only that town, gym 5, and like, another town. the rest are all the other cardinals). itd also be where you get the Team stuff, with Elliot refusing to go with you. Elliot was actually probably with you at the Gym 5 town, and when you said you had to go to the lil town, he goes ‘oh’ and he just gives you directions and rushes off. poor guy. but you deliver the package to the mayor, who thanks you, gives you something for your trouble, sends you back to actually fight 5 before going back on your way.

the idea with 5 is that he is solely focused on himself and the status of being a gym leader, and thus ignores the community. the difference between them the old 6 (thats Sonya’s gym) is that nothing major has happened yet to tip the scales drastically. should any major event take place in that town, in which 5 would have been helpful, and the event ends really badly because of his lack of involvement, then bitch is out the fucking window, you feel me.

with gym 8, its far more malicious. the selfishness goes to that NEXT level, where instead of it neither improving or really badly affecting the people, its directly responsible for a lot of bad. they COULD be tied to the Team, but i feel like that’d be a bit of a cop out and wouldnt explain the Orgs general idea of sorta removing Gym Leaders (as they currently act as a buffer between org and populace. its a popularity thing honestly). unless they were SUPER setting up that gym leader to get reamed, like Small Fry does when you intervene and get them legit arrested. and that could be interesting, especially as a counterpart to Isaac’s Org centric position. but, idk. Isaac isn’t actually part of the Org, just an affiliate (because the org realised they had a measure of respect within the community and decided they probably couldnt engineer a scenario that would make the populace turn on Isaac, and thus decided to befriend them and make them part of them loosely). but you cant be an ‘affiliate’ of the team. thats not how that works. youre in, or out, really. technically org affiliation is team affiliation but thats also not really the same thing, its complex.

i figure its more.... the idea of the East, on the whole, is that its poor and poorly connected. it has an abundance of natural resources, is very pristine and natural, but its few built up areas are sorely provided for (which isnt true of the actual east of victoria oh my god). the idea then is that the Org likely provides like, ‘development funding’ to this east hub town (where 8 is) in order to facillitate its growth, in addition to funding Jun’s hospital and sending a couple of the Org Police (like Rhia). but who does the funding go to? sending it to Jun would ensure it is properly distributed, and he does have the respect of the community, but he isnt actually its leader. its leader is the gym leader, 8. and 8 is probably misappropriating funds. pumping money into the Gym and into their own life style and personal projects and views for the town rather than what the town needs. its not QUITE at a tipping point, but its getting there. the grumbling about the lack of action is becoming public, yknow. if Jun is present (not sure at this point) he’d probably vaguely mention it, but hes cordial and wouldnt go around openly slagging the gym leader. its problematic, for certain. its essentially the idea of 5, except its on a broader scale. the city is dark and a lil grimy. but the gym is a shiny monument to opulence, gleaming, inside its just absolutely decked. its wild.

theres not really much more to it. gym 7 is technically in a similar state, in that the town isnt exactly on the upnup, but its probably closer to Sonya’s situation - bad circumstances with a good leader, or at least a good hearted, well meaning leader, in 7′s case. towns a lil run down, but it gets by. actually probably closer to 5, except with the opposite leader morality, but with an equal lack of action (not for lack of effort, mind you)

#codename seren #story blogging #wooeeee im a shit writer lads

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