#theres several parts of the fic where he's so logical about things that it loops back into being illogical

[quaranmine]

firewatch au is an interesting story because mumbo is such an omnipresent non-character. it doesn't matter if i characterize him correctly or not, because his character isn't ever present to exert change in the story. the only thing that does matter is grian's rosy, absence-defined ideals about who his best friend was. every single thing we learn about mumbo is filtered through like 12 different layers of love and grief and denial until he's on a pedestal so high nobody can see the truth. his character is almost solely defined by what someone else says about him.

in doing this, grian also inadvertantly strips away all the little mistakes and mishaps that are part of mumbo's agency and part of him being a real person until he's perfect. and all this idolization ends up making it worse for grian in the end, because he actively avoids engaging in any theories that suggest mumbo might have made a mistake or gone astray. there's clear dissonance between reality—grian knows mumbo got lost and is searching for him—and the way grian lashes out at anyone who suggests something that clashes with the perfect ideal of mumbo in his head, including getting lost. mumbo should be a character in his own story, but grian won't let him be.

instead he wraps his desire to find mumbo into a weird sort of side quest where he's just as interested in finding someone else to blame as he is finding mumbo. he spends the same amount of time trying to figure out exactly where it all went wrong during the search as he does actually searching for mumbo—even after he knows the general area mumbo was last in! it's a puzzle and he can't put anything to rest until he solves it. he's trying to force logic into everything so he can cope with it. because if he doesn't find someone or something to blame, then he has to face the reality that sometimes things just don't make sense. if it makes sense, he can solve it and fix it. if it doesn't make sense...then he just has to live with it, and he doesn't think he can.

#fw au drinking game! take a shot every time grian says something abt Knowing mumbo or makes a bold statement of what mumbo would/wouldnt do #his mindset is so contradictory at certain points. a lot of what he says doesnt make total sense or falls apart under scrutiny. #and that's on purpose! grian is not a reliable narrator in this fic. he's a guy who is Going Through It who needs help. #theres several parts of the fic where he's so logical about things that it loops back into being illogical #cause he's got huge blindspots he can't/won't look around. he selectively excludes things he doesnt want to think about. #this story is more of a study on grief than it is a mystery :( #also dont get me wrong! i am not saying grian is Always incorrect in his characterization of mumbo. they Were besties ofc #it's just that you have to read everything he says about mumbo with the acknowledgement that his grief #has smoothed away every flaw or painfully human bit #and only left a certain limited picture of mumbo left #combine that with his intense desire to only see things that fit within his set beliefs? you've got a recipe for an unreliable narrator #hc_firewatch_au