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bahrtofane · 3 months

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after pleading and much excitement on kylians’ end, you finally bite the bullet and take him with you to your hometown of algiers.

kylian x algerian!reader

word count : 1.3K+

watch it: fluffy fluff fluff, mild over thinking and angst if u rly rly dig deep for it

luv my country fr fr

—--

theres a small dent on the wall from where you banged your elbow so hard you swore you broke it. you were around 10. it's been years, and the little spot still stands. you never forget to run your thumb over the ridges, the cool wall warming under your touch.

It's been years, but the wall holds the memory, a mirror of you. each flick of your thumb ignites the scene inside your head over and over, you swear you can feel your elbow sting. you remember the way you hissed sharply and called for your mom, who came scuring from the hallway. and how your cousins all lined up to see the damage and soon teased you for being a baby. screeching at the 'crater' you left in the wall. your aunt snapped a picture of the comotion while she laughed hysterically, hand on her hip, head tossed back while the rest of the family filled in to check out the commotion.

you were given a wet towel to keep in your elbow till the swelling went down. and the teasing never stopped, in fact you're bound to have it happen at any second. your cousins called you bulldozer for years, some still do. that's even your contact name in a few of their phones.

it's so silly how such a little moment from so many years ago carries on. wasn't even your funniest moment in full honesty. you have much better ones.

it's been years, and it remains one of your many contributions to your grandmother's little flat. cozy and quaint in the center of algiers. today you bring a new addition, kylian.

you joked about taking him once, just a passing comment while you showed him pictures from your last trip. he hummed, latching onto the idea like an excited puppy to a chew toy. bothering you with itineraries (as if you need one in your hometown?), your texts are a wall of flight screen shots at this point. and of course bombarding you with questions every second he got the chance.

"should i pack light?"

"what cities will you take me to?"

"do you think i'll need to bring a lot of security?"

in truth, you were hesitant to bring him along.

going back home is a feeling you can never get enough of. from the moment you step off the airplane and the familiar smell of your country hits your face, to your first dip into the mediterranean, a homemade meal, singing out of cars in the dead of night while you race through the city.

bringing him is an intimate ordeal. your country is your first love, first home. she raised you in a sense.

she is a part of him, the same as she is of you. but having him in your grandmother's home? introducing him to your very lively extended family? you don't know about that.

you were worried about your sanity as much as his. you know the questions will be never ending. he's your fiance now after all, wedding in the works. this is only going to add to the disaster that is wedding planning. you know you're going to have to squeeze in promises of inviting your 2nd cousins aunts cats neighbors gardener.

and how could you forget, he's kylian. kylian mbappe. there's no way you're bringing him to the heart of algiers and going to be free to roam the streets as you please.

you know you'll never be able to do so on your own again once the media puts two and two together. good by freedom. it's easy in resorts or fancy hotels. everything can be arranged. but not here.

you and kylian value your privacy dearly. french media has barely ever gotten a proper look at your face and you intend to keep it that way. but you don't think you can get away with that here. you want to show him real places that hold history and the people. not just fancy villas on the coast that cost more than you want to think about.

he pleaded with you anyway, even after you voiced your concerns. "i have an agent and security for a reason. just take me and the rest will come easy. don't even worry."

you frowned, "it'll be in the summer, when everyone else and their mother is going."

"i just want to see it you know, authentically. i want to experience just a part of what you did growing up." he confessed, shy.

and so you caved. and here he is. leaning against that same wall you rammed into all those years ago, fanning his face with a pile of notebook paper he found lying around after a long day of unpacking the gifts you bought for your family.

he's had a long day of posing for pictures and videos, all of which you rolled your eyes at. it's nearing sunset, and you press your forehead against the familiar cool wall of one of the living rooms. it's going to be where you sleep for the next 2 weeks or so.

the couches convert to beds and you get to play the age-old game of war with the mosquitoes that torment you. you haven't told kylian yet. he needs to be ambushed in the middle of the night for the full authentic experience. ha ha ha.

you look back to where kylian is sat on the couch perpendicular to yours, hes given up on the fanning. hand under his thighs while he watches what he can of the balcony. you can see the sea from here. in all its beauty. the gentle wind it brings flutters the curtains while you hum.

tomorrow he meets the rest of your family and you can't help the butterflies that pool in your stomach at the thought. your fiance, meeting the rest of what makes this house a home. you can't wait. for now though, all you want to do is nap.

you get up from your couch, sliding on your socks to press up against his side. even if its pushing near broiling temperatures. he doesn't complain, only bringing his hands to cup your face gently, giving your nose a peck.

"its so beautiful here, " he sighs, "thank you for bringing me."

you hum into his lips, giving them a firm kiss, "you're welcome my love. i'll show you around tomorrow. it's time for my post flight nap."

he gives you a lazy smile, "yes please i was waiting for you to bring it up. it's past my nap time." he pouts.

you roll your eyes and throw one of the couches throw pillows against his chest. he manages to grab it, hurling it back at you. and while you're distracted he curls his hands against your side, tickling you till you yelp and thrash in his hold, back pressed against the couch while you gasp in between laughter.

he finally lets you go and collapses on top of you, kissing any skin he can reach.

"okay get off, it's too hot for that." you groan.

he at least listens to that, peeling himself off you and retreating to the far end of the couch while you set up yours for what you know is going to be top 5 naps of your life, easy.

against the gentle breeze and city sounds, you're lulled to sleep. in your vision you see kylian getting ready to do the same, reaching over to press one sound kiss on your forehead before settling down into his little bubble.

you could do this forever you think. you're glad he came.

#kylian mbappe fanfic #kylian mbappe one shot #kylian mbappe x reader #kylian mbappe imagines #kylian mbappe imagine #mbappe #kylian mbappe #kylian mbappe x you #mbappe x reader #kylian x you #kylian x reader #kylian imagines #kylian fanfic #mbappe imagine #mbappe fanfic #mbappé #football fanfic #kylian fluff #bahr footy

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unfortunate-songbird · 2 years

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ok hear me out

what if April was older

pov you’re like 15, working your after school job at your local pet store, nbd

Then this guy walks in wearing a literal suit of armor. It’s bright blue. He’s got long pinkish hair and golden horns. Are those freaking gargoyles on his shoulders. he asks for four turtles.

Sure, whatever. New York be like that sometimes. You get him four turtles, different types. While you’re, like, ringing up the turtles or w/ever, he starts droning on about how he’s going to mutate them into the greatest warriors in the universe and use them to reclaim his peoples’ rightful place on the surface

you aren’t really paid enough for this, but honestly it’s either this or freaking McDonald’s, so you deal with it

guy takes his turtles and leaves

maybe you mostly forget

maybe it keeps you up a few nights, idk

you get fired four months later in an incident that Totally wasn’t your fault but the managers just saw thirty hamsters dyed bright pink and jumped to conclusions, yknow? That’s how it be sometimes

Anyways, picture about 3 years later

you pick up a part time delivery job at a pizza place. Not ideal, but when you’ve been blacklisted from the majority of businesses in your general area, beggars can’t be choosers. Anyways, a guy asks for 3 large pizzas. You can hear kids yelling in the background. He sounds tired. Mood. then he asks you to leave them in an alleyway near a manhole. uhhhhh

look, you’re dead inside from customer service, but you’ve still got a Little of that investigative spirit that got you expelled from that fancy smancy high school sophomore year

So you wait

A rat man (!!?!???) emerges from the sewer, holding a very small toddler that’s also a turtle (?!???!?)

Wait. wait. wait.

that guy from the pet store.

no way.

Anyways, it takes a lot of yelling, panic, a few ninja moves (??) and some really awful lies from the rat man, but they manage to talk it out. It helps when one bawling turtle kiddo quiets after a couple minutes of the April O’Neil flair. (For once’s she’s grateful for her many younger cousins)

besides, she’s basically their aunt at this point. She sold them to the goat man, so she kinda counts. She’s pretty sure Rat Man- Splints- is just glad to have some help wrangling the disasters. He pays her nicely for her services, which is great, so she drops the other jobs and babysits mutant turtles in the sewers. It’s weird, for sure, but it could be way worse.

Plus, they’re all so cute.

Raph is super helpful, always following her around and trying to participate in whatever she’s doing. It’s so cute watching him bite his lip as he carefully fills Mikey’s sippy cup with juice (April holding onto the carton to make sure he doesn’t spill everywhere)

Donnie is super smart already, eagerly recounting to April whatever cool facts he’s learned. April buys him some Legos to build stuff, and he’s over the moon about them. Mikey eats one of the pieces, leading to a few hours of panic and a lifelong hatred of people touching his stuff.

Leo is a little show off, always yelling “April, April!! Lookit this!!” (Those words have proceeded, to date: three broken bones (at least mutants heal quickly), two sprained ankles, a sprained wrist, a nasty cut down his leg, and more scraped up knees that April can count).

Mikey is much less of a daredevil on his own, but he’s quick to copy whatever dangerous stunt Leo is doing. He’s always easily mollified with colorful bandaids, though, and Leo has more than once abandoned a trick when he sees Mikey trying to attempt it too. His drawings cover both the lair’s fridge and April’s own.

((( idk what this was I just think it’s very cute. My brain went “haha Draxum in a pet shop” and then everything else happened. i don’t know where Splinter gets his money, but he obviously Has it. He doesn’t work, but the boys can still afford pizza and have allowances (I’m assuming, since it’s unlikely they have jobs to earn money, so whatever they get is probably from Splinter.) and also?? Electricity?? (Where do they get that)

anyway I have Many questions that are never answered about that)))

#rottmnt #rottmnt april #rottmnt draxum #rottmnt splinter #rottmnt leo #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt mikey #rottmnt raph #turtle tots #rottmnt au #april babysitter au

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sanchoyo · 10 months

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tangentially related to last text post, but kept separate bc its LONG WINDED about nothing Really, sapote is by far the funniest to just throw at other charas bc of how well she simply Rolls With The Punches. Commits to the Bit. shes a loud, funny extrovert and inflicts psychic damage on everyone's brain cells (affectionate) just by being in their proximity fr.

-her and persimmon grew up together right? like theyre cousins, and they have that dynamic of 'ohh its bully on SIGHT TARGET SPOTTED (COMING IN FOR THE ELBOW DROP)' 'NO NO GET AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FREAK' energy that comes with having older cousins (or is. that just me having a million cousins myself. sajdfsdf) shes. actually really surprised persimmon made the effort to come to earth, that shes NOT on the same side as her, and does take it a liiiitle personally and get her feelings hurt. but not enough to NOT still fight her on sight. this is not a NEW thing for them. like before leaving their planet it was still 'ohoho i see persims. going to run full speed at her and headbutt her' energy but now its just. ramped up in intensity yk.

-her and mira have the worlds longest contest of being committed to the Bit. the Bit in this case being sapote pretending to Get everything mira says and 'yes and'ing her to death. sapote really DOES love miras attitude and thinks shes sooo funny with how eager she is, and mira is just devastated sapote is being so patronizing and not taking her seriously. but like. mira commits SO hard to the aesthetic of Being a Magical girl and gets meta about it, and sapote will just. in turn match that energy and commit super hard to being a hammy cartoon villain complete with campy little outfits and speeches bc shes a messy improv theater girlie and this makes mira SOOO HAPPY. they play off each others energy SO well if its just the two of them that show up to a fight theyll just monologue at each other for 3 hours then leave w/out throwing hands at all

-sapote is Reasonably Sort Of Frightened by Aqua and Machines In General. but also sapote is one of the few ppl who CAN stand to fight aqua without experiencing Immediate Death, which is Great! she ends up fighting her 90% of the time her and cara go to earth, because, cara is Small and Sapote's Responsibility, and we cant let Mrs Murderbot over here Hurt Our Little Cara :( (aqua is asking sapote very sweetly to stop fighting during all of this btw. and sapote is like NUH UH IM NOT falling for these ALGORITHM TRICKS i KNOW as SOON as we surrender (which we will not do bc we r not COWARDS) u will Terminator Us. and aquas like omg no i wont :( btw how do u know terminator movies :( on aquas side its very much her not understanding sapote, her jokes or her mannerisms at all and also being a Little Nervous around her. the mutual 'you kind of freak me out' solidarity they could have...

-cara and sapote are THEE starting duo. for reference cara is, to sapote, a small angry teenage girl who trembles like a chihuahua and should Not Be Here, but Queen Trusted her with cara so she HAS to keep an eye on her. like. this is HER little buddy and she takes this responsibility VERY seriously. overbearingly so. sapote is, a 20s something year old disaster who by all accounts has a low sense of self preservation, NO respect for authority, or sense for whats too Far sometimes. and yet. and YET. in her mind shes like. yeah im gonna be the BEST role model :) for this teenager :) ever :)

but inwardly shes a little offput by cara. in the sense that she…worries why shes here, yknow, bc shes young, shes here on the ship ALONE with no other humans, and cara is SO closed off, QUEEN knows why cara wants to be here supposedly, and she okayed it, so sapote should trust her and not push too hard or she could scare cara into being even more emotionally closed off!!! sapote hashes out The Jokes but genuinely. is trying. very hard to get cara to LIKE her and to TALK to her (unfortunately this freaks cara out and she clams up even harder ajkdfhkj but the effort should count for something. to her credit sapote never had an angsty phase she was always the class clown when she was caras age so she has NO frame of reference but by god is she TRYING. via taking cara on fun little Villain Sprees, but STILLLL.)

cara is also inadvertently the reason sapote starts learning a lot more abt earth and its cultures bc shes trying SO dang hard to connect to her and thinks this will help. but then looking from caras side, at her Inner Thoughts its like oh :( :( [REDACTED FOR SPOILERS] just. the two of them forced to have an honest convo is so HARD bc of how much cara closes herself off ESPECIALLY from sapote, and how much shes not afraid to be a bit mean and play the 'youre being overbearing leave me ALONE' card to sapote, who wants to be the Cool Fun Alien Cara can Trust :") she wants to have fun and joke around with cara, but ironically the human she ends up being able to do that with more is?? mira??? which is. funny in a horrible way. because They Are Not On The Same Side…she wants the human on Her Side to Feel Safe and Confide In Her More :( i need them locked in a room for hours untl cara TALKS. please (and this is a Thing I can Do since They Are My Ocs. will I? well. :) )

-Queen and sapote...u wouldnt THINK they would get along bc Queen seems So Proper and Polite and Sapote has NO filter and is rowdy and obnoxious, but. the second sapote enters a room queen perks up a little, her eyes light up, and shes Speed Walking over to her after excusing herself from whatever convo she was trapped in to get the Gossip. shes one of the few ppl queen actually relaxes around and confides in aside from Arilla, which speaks volumes about sapote (and is something cara constantly is BAFFLED by, and if u ask queen shes like uhhm no I dont play favorites of course not <3 I treat all u the same <3 but sapote actually does make her Laugh which is Much Needed to put it very lightly so.) meanwhile sapote sees Queens right hand man Arilla and IMMEDIATELY also starts picking on him and queen wont help bc she thinks its kind of Funny Too even if she wont Laugh Out Loud at him bc that would be ~mean~ </3 sapote is stealing this poor mans glasses and calling him twiggy and messing up his HAIR please help him.

anyway. its also just really fun throwing Sapote Into Situations with other characters because like. she is an adult in a magical girl series where the main charas NEED adult guidance and wisdom sometimes! but she doesnt have that. because shes a disaster 20s girlie. but god does she Feel that age difference a lot of the time. sooo much silly teenage drama shes rolling her eyes about and laughing over. and then theres Adultier Adults in the series, who are in their late 30s and 40s and 50s and having her interact with them is where things get REALLY fun.

she contains multitudes shes street smart and socially smart and an extrovert and a funnygirl and a cringefail girl and the Most Worst Disaster youve ever seen and makes HORRIBLE choices and lives off junk food and beer and is fighting ILL and still bodying people and one of Queens many meowmeow warriors but wiggled up to the top ranks by being SUPER meowmeow. and is having a GREAT time doing it. and she still loves her famiwy vewy much mwawh. and comes back to the ship to run to her sister in the daycare and throw gifts from earth to the alien kids. which is nice. but she totally stole those. because she contains multitudes. she HAS the range. shes kind of blorbo shaped, but also kind of tumblr sexyman shaped. i cannot elaborate further.

also sapote is way taller than all of them so she just. leans on them. looms. t poses. that meme of the guy floating scarily in the hallway after someone else. thats her 😌

#i am half awake but u must all take my oc post as is typos and all. good night #i want to actually talk abt them all more fr tho i umm. i am drawing them a lort too but its nothing finished yet #dont ask how many wips i have....scream. its a lot #sanchoyorambles #tm2 #tokyo miracle

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mccarricks · 4 years

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( brittany o’grady / demi woman ) WESLEY McCARRICK is 23 years old and is a SENIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in FILM and is known for being THE MAVERICK as THEY can be HUMOROUS and OPEN-MINDED as well as DITZY and IMPULSIVE. every time i see HER/THEM, THEY remind me of PURPLE SKY IN THE DESERT, SKATING AS FAST AS YOU CAN TO FEEL THE WIND ON YOU, A JOKE TOLD WITH A TOOTHY GRIN.

hero’s back w character no. 2 and yet......

full name: wesley ‘wes’ elaine mccarrick

birthdate: february 2, 1997

age: 23

gender: demi woman

pronouns: she/her/they/them

zodiac: aquarius

nationality: american

ethnicity: black (louisiana creole) and white (irish)

hometown: santa fe, nm

languages: english, intermediate spanish

family:

theodore mccarrick, father

elaine barlow, mother

ruby mccarrick, older brother

delphine mccarrick, older sister

sherri barlow, maternal grandmother

many cousins

orientation: bisexual biromantic, pref. towards women/nb people but will date men

religion: agnostic

height: 5 ft 4 in

distinguishing features: eyebrows, hair, lips

character inspo: ilana wexler (broad city), harley quinn (dc comics), phoebe buffay (friends), prob more

𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃

TRIGGERS: divorce, mentions of crime, drug and alcohol use

the youngest child of ted and elaine mccarrick, wes was a kid who is full of life. she’s the kind of kid who did things to make you smile, and it usually worked. she was warm and inviting, a little naive, but she had a strong support system.

her parents divorce when she’s six, she doesn’t quite understand it but her dad moves out, and her grandma and multiple cousins move in. it’s a lively household, between her mom, who works as a nurse, and her siblings, and her cousins, it was never really quiet and there was never a lot of room.

despite the split, her parents maintain that their children have a relationship with both of them, and truthfully, wes is a daddy’s girl. she and her dad were cut from the same cloth, happy go lucky, fun loving, a bit silly, he’s the one who introduces her to movies. it’s their thing, watching and critiquing them together, and it’s not whatever is in theatres either. they went for all times of filmmaking, new wave, surrealist, and more.

it really stuck with wes, who herself had begun making movies, mostly horror/fantasy/scifi stuff with her friends-- she writes and directs and occasionally, she’ll don a costume and star in them. they’re silly little things, but her family always sat down for her “premieres.”

her formative years are marked with plenty of things, sports, deaths of distant family members, a cousin or two who gets caught in the wrong crowd and ends up in jail, and throughout this, wes remains a rock for her family.

she’s in high school, and she gets into the eclectic crowd, the outcasts, the weirdos, the ones who smoked under the bridge, and partied out in an abandoned trailer near the desert. these freaks were her freaks. they accepted her with open arms, as she them.

she chooses thales because she always wants to see the east coast, and frankly, as much as she loves her family, she wants to be free of them. and they have a fantastic film program. so!

she meets steven in their first film class together, and they’re fast friends, despite her usual weariness of YET another film bro, steven proves to be a good egg. so she thinks. she finds out through him talking that he might not be the most faithful to his girlfriend, and as much as she doesn’t like meddling, she thinks it’s only right to let clarissa, who she doesn’t really know well, know. however, before there’s a chance, everything happens-- now she’s stuck wondering if she should reveal the truth, or let sleeping dogs lie.

nana is different, nana and her dated her sophomore year, nana’s freshman year. it wasn’t serious. but they were fond of each other. they eventually break up, but they stay friendly, waving to each other in the halls, chatting at parties.

both the disappearance and the murder is weird for wes, who by all accounts, isn’t great at dealing with bad shit. she prefers to laugh about things. laugh about everything. because if she doesn’t laugh, she’ll cry.

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘

wes is a mess, a free-spirit, a walking contradiction. she’s very independent minded, the kind of person who does things without thinking so much about the consequences, this leads her into trouble sometimes. like nicking something from a convenience store, or stealing a stop sign as a prank. she’s definitely the kind to goof off and not exactly dedicate her full attention to something. and while she’s in genuinely good spirits on most occasions, she has a staunch ‘no asshole’ policy. the type to defend the underdogs, and go after bullies. she’ll punch you with a smile on her face, and yet it ends up being more unnerving than you realize. she’s a bit of a ditz, as well, never the best at school, but can talk your ear off about the going ons of the world. she’s a lovable dumbass, for sure, and loyal to a tee once you get her as a friend.

𝐓𝐈𝐃𝐁𝐈𝐓𝐒

horror movie fan! her favorites are some of the oldies, like dracula and the bride of frankenstein! and some new ones! big fan of jordan peele’s work, as well as ari aster’s! but mostly really advocates for women directors and directors of color!

also does roller derby! she picked this up her first year at thales and fell in love with it, i can’t think of a name for her yet, but she’s a blocker, won’t hesitate to elbow some dick at the bar

kinda a tomboy? she’s always been! she’s rough and tumble and not afraid to get down and dirty with someone, i.e. will join those football games on the quad or crawl through the mud for a scene to shoot

doesn’t know if she wants to be a director/writer or a cinematographer honestly.... she loves the technical aspects of film as much as the making the stories

definition of a bruh girl, says it a whole lot, but also just if you tell her you love her, she’ll just roll her eyes and be like you’re an idiot (which means she loves you too) she’ll be affectionate if she’s close to you

kinda a wh*re oops....... texts multiple girls at a time and doesn’t want to hurt any of their feelings she doesn’t know how she keeps ending up in these situations... also a bisexual disaster

a stoner as well..... always has a massive jar of weed

unclear whether she lives on campus or off campus but if she does live off campus she has a pet turtle named elsa lanchester after the bride of frankenstein actress

a drummer! she’s in a band (name tbd) she started drumming at a young age and found it was a good way to manage her aggression

doesn’t really do well with emotions, so she’ll either be like there, there, or try to make jokes.... she really said kids can you lighten up

walking meme... such a walking meme... doesn’t know so many things she’s like a cute puppy with no thoughts head empty but she’s so fun to be around

life of the party.... nana she came fr ur spot and she took it and she’s not sorry but she does miss u a lot

doesn’t rly feel like she’s allowed to be upset anyways bc some people have it...... way worse.... can u say Imposter syndrome

kind of an enabler...... will be that person to push u to try things but not in a peer pressurey way, more like if u are unsure abt sending a text she says do it

wears fun earrings and socks! think lollipops or gummy bears or found objects like she collects that shit it’s her lifeline

boxes! she’s been boxing since she was abt 12, courtesy of her older brother (who is now a doctor thx ruby) and it’s a good way to exercise and release stress

𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒

best friend -- two of a feather, cut from the same cloth, or complete opposites it doesnt matter to her (the abbi to her ilana)

roller derby friends -- she’s p close to the team, margs on her

makeup artist pal -- i think it would be neat fr someone to try and teach her makeup whether its normal or sfx bc she wants to look like a monster or smthn

she’s gullible, u take advantage of that -- u just tell her lies p much and she’s like yeah ok that sounds right

party friends

classmates

fwbs (f/m/nb) -- tbh she might have one or two of these but they literally are the def of pals who bone sometimes... like v good abt being like you good? u dont want more? cool me too

exes (f/m/nb) -- mostly dated women or nb people but def cld have had a guy

she smokes you out -- p much the only reason u hang out w her is bc she has good weed

someone she’s fought -- like fully decked in the face, prob said something that rubbed her the wrong way and it just devolved from there

people who dislike her -- she could definitely be seen as annoying bc shes loud and dorky and funny so ??

breaks someone out of their shell -- p self explanatory, pushes them to have fun, w everything happening shes rly like lifes too short to not take the opportunities around u

cousins! probably on her dad’s side! i figure she has some east coast fam

anything? truly?

#pyrrhic.intro #intro.#divorce tw #crime mention #drug use tw #alcohol use tw #i pulled this out of my ass

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swearronchanel · 7 years

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Who let me watch 5.06?

I should be doing an assignment that’s due tomorrow but ya know due tomorrow means do tomorrow. Lol I know I should be ashamed to be a procrastinator but university has ruined me anyway. I’m tired from literally going to one lecture haha, but in any event I’ve been rewatching mad men for the who knows what time but I thought I’d take a break from all that and watch an episode of CtM & @flyingnonny inspired me to do a reaction post so why not? I decided on 5.06 since last Sunday’s episode reminded us of that camping trip 😂😂 here goes nothing..

*skips intro bc I’m impatient*

Cute community moment ☺️

TRIXIE😍 slaying my life

Shelagh looks so good too 😍 and Angela melting my heart!

Why is shelagh forever wearing cardigans? I like cardigans every now and then but all the time, really?

Everyone is sitting outside, Trixie is in a sleeveless dress, as is Barbara, so it has to be warm?? take it off Shelagh

She’s still my bby though even if I don’t always agree with her fashion choices

what gross vejo pinching Trixie’s ass? That’s not ok

And Babs too lmao, creepy old man, die

Shelagh saying “hello dear” aw

But this is like the only interaction between Shelagh and Trixie & that does not suffice !!

ALL I WANT IS FOR THEM TO HAVE AN ACTUAL FRIENDSHIP IDC HOW MANY TIMES IVE SAID IT I REALLY Want it😭😭💕💕 my two fav bbys

I HAVE EVEN GIVEN REASONS WHY & I CAN GIVE THEM AGAIN *** 1) Why not?? Shelagh has like no real friends besides her husband and sort of Sister Julienne?

2) just please, because I’m asking nicely 3) When Shelagh was Sister Bernadette she was often friendly/ in the gossip and conversation with the nurses & remember that one time Trixie grabbed her to come listen to Jenny’s phone conversation?

4) Trixie was the only one besides Sister Julienne to visit her in the sanatorium. That has to count for something! 5) They’ve both been on the show since day 1 & have known each other the longest (besides the nuns) why wouldn’t they be friends or least actually speak to each other?

Aye this is the lady who’s fake pregnant

Shelagh wearing earrings though >> here for it

Sorry there will be a lot of gushing over Shelagh and Trixie

And also I WANT TRIXIE’S HOOP EARRINGS SO BAD, where can I find them??

And how do I get her clothes and figure and her everything lol?

PHYLLIS ! My champion

“Would it have killed you to sit down for five minutes and eat the whole thing!” I LOVE HER, SHE IS A GEM, A HERO, A BADASS & IM NOT READY FOR SUNDAY. IM GOING TO BAWL WITH AND FOR HER

she deserves the best

I think this is the only time I’ve ever heard Trixie address Shelagh by her first name?? a prob.

They need to interact more 😭💔💕😍 I will stop saying it when I’m dead even then I’ll prob say it

Actually when I think of it no one ever calls Shelagh by her first name besides obviously Patrick? And Sister Julienne

#MoreShelaghAndTheOtherNursesInteracting2k17aka1962

And I need at least two seconds of them dotting on pregnant Shelagh

Helen looks so good like goals

“I threatened to put one man over my knee but that only encouraged him” HA IM DEAD NO KINK SHAME

I think there’s been a similar joke before but fuck it it’s still funny to me

But seriously everyone loves Trixie lol how could you not though?

Hey Pats, it’s been a while

Lol omg Tim in that uniform.. Not the best costume 😂😂

Never seen Whistle Down the Wind

But you see, Tom and Babs making out as usual, I’m not knocking it lol but this is why Sister J told her to chill when they went to South Africa😂

also lowkey jealous bc Jack Ashton is handsome af and that could’ve been me but it’s all good. He and Helen are adorable together and I’m here for it x10000

Omg I forgot this lady got assaulted

Oh shit I just remembered this is the episode where sister MC is attacked FUCK WHY DID I WATCH THIS

she can’t report it bc she’d get arrested for soliciting wtf

But remember Shelagh wore the headbands in like series 3 (so glad she stopped I was not here for it)? They must’ve gave them to Babs lol

I forgot Trixie didn’t tell the nurses about AA yet

But she looks gorgeous as ever, even with her mascara running

Lowkey nauseas looking at all that fish ugh. Funny becuase they put a grocery store that has a fish market on the block up from where I live in NYC and I hate it

I forgot about Peter lol and he was in an episode this series whoops

LIKE WHERE’S YOUR WIFE LOL, *I know, too busy for this, I don’t think she’d fit in the series anymore anyway*

Sister Mary Cynthia 😰❣️

Lol she doesn’t sing loud enough ??

Sister Julienne is so cute when she smiles but don’t forget she’s a badass

REMEMBER THE AGGRESSIVE JACKET FLAP BC OF THE IRRITATING SISTER URSULA

How did this girl hide her pregnancy though?

And did her brothers just not realize she was pregnant and the mother wasn’t?

Oh jeez my cousin was a colic-y baby and my parents kept him like 3 days a week when I was in high school & it was a nightmare. I didn’t sleep for so long

Dont get me wrong I love babies. But when they scream when I’m trying to sleep, nope. Return to sender.

Shelagh is so excited about camping it’s the purest and most adorable thing 😭😭And I like her shirt

Shelagh made Tim copy the napkin folding from a magazine, SHE IS A GEM

“We never have serviettes on a weeknight” wtf did they just not use napkins every day? I’m confused Lmaoo. What am I missing here 😂omg that reminds me of one of the times my family and I went on a cruise (2006, hella long time ago already wow?? 11 yrs yikes) and my brother & cousin were late to dinner and lied to my mom & aunt saying they were at a “napkin folding class” & my family deadass believed it up until 2 years ago😂

Shelagh’s accent is so cute. I’ve said that many times but it’s so sweet. But again why do we just have to accept she’s Scottish with no context as to how/why she came to England? Like I’m sure there were convents in Scotland. I dont even care that much I just will forever be curious as to why it seems she had no life before she got married lol? Like they don’t ever bring up the fact she was a nun, but ok maybe she feels awkward talking about it but what about before?

They’re so excited it’s so precious, protect this family 😂😭💕💕

Sister MJ is fasting lol I should try it😂

Omg another dumb story, I didn’t realize today is Ash Wednesday and was hella confused seeing some people with ash on their forehead 😂😂 I should give up something for lent but idk what, we shall see. My mom gave up carbs last year & I died bc I lived at home and ate what she cooked and almost all my fav foods are carbs😂

Shelagh referred to Patsy as Patsy, I’ve only ever heard her say Nurse Mount??

lol Tim you’re what 14? you know damn well those arent* bullet holes

at least he has some of his innocence still. I didn’t @ 14

Sometimes I forget I’m gonna be 19 this year wtf. I’ve accidentally told people I’m 16 before and had to correct myself 😂😂

Patrick is excited about this holiday, boy you don’t know what’s coming 😂

HE’S GONNA ATTACK THE LADY WITH A BABY I FORGOT THAT TOO WTF

I wanna fight him

Diane’s anemic ? Or her mum is just assuming

SHELAGH IN HER CAMPING OUTFIT!! The hair scarf and trousers !! I’m so here for it 😍😭

I want to see her in another pair!! yes lets get it 1962. Probably not likely this series but hopefully next series!! Ah can’t wait

Shit this series is almost over 💔💔 but omg 1963 gonna be lit as well?!

Like the space race started/orbiting the earth, Kennedy’s assassination .. wait never mind lol I’m thinking of American History moments. but still a lot of it was crazy world news so maybe it’s mentioned?? first bond film came out in'63, petition for Tim to go take Susan whatever from around the corner to see it since we know he liked the novels

Lots of famous films came out in ‘63 so there’s gotta be some reference.

Fun fact: I love pop culture references in period drama bc I’m lame jk I’m majoring in education (to teach history)

Old news but still relevant: Phyllis’s turn on: Rolodex systems 📇

“CRANE, as in the wading bird or industry lifting equipment, whichever you prefer” LOVE U PHYLLIS, YOU CORRECT HIM

PHYLLIS’S FACE WHEN GODFREY SUGGESTS SHE CAME OUT OF RETIREMENT, IM DEAD

“I shall consider retirement when I’m at the appropriate age” IM LAUGHING SO HARD, FUCK YEA PHYLLIS. I LOVE HER SO MUCH, LINDA BASSET IS ON THE LIST WITH LAURA AND HELEN OF PEOPLE WHO COULD PUCH ME IN THE FACE AND I’D THANK

LOL SHELAGH JUST STANDING AWKWARDLY LISTENING TO THIS CONVERSATION

“Buenos vacaciones” I NEED MORE PHYLLIS WORKING ON HER SPANISH I LOVE IT, Ella es oro.

lol the roof rack, bet it was Phyllis’s they borrowed when they moved

PHYLLIS’S FACE OF DISGUST WHEN DR GODFREY SMILES AT HER IS ME ALWAYS

LOL THE THE NURSES & SISTER WINIFRED DYING OVER PATRICK’S SHORTS (EVen though sister W “swears she’s not looking”)

I THINK THE SOCKS AND WHITE DAD SANDALS ARE MORE AMUSING 😂😂

Poor Judith💔

It’s a vicious attack Sister J! But you don’t know it yet so I get u

Here comes summer..😂

SETTING UP IN THE POURING RAIN LOL

Shelagh and Angela being adorable !!

Tim and Patrick proud that they set the tents up & boom it falls 😂 which is symbolic for me taking exams, I think I did well or at least decent on them and then I find out I failed by like 5 points

Nonnatus table scenes <3 😭

”I’ve seen more dangerous marshmallow bunnies“ lmao Pats this is a serious moment I shouldn’t laugh

Shelagh took off her glasses 😉😏 but fr how is Laura Main so perfect

Patrick put scotch in its lit, pass it over😏

Lol Shelagh drinking is a strange thought but I’m so here for it. Nuns can’t drink right? Idk. Imagine her drinking alcohol for the first time and just getting drunk 😂 we know Patrick and Tim are lightweights getting drunk off one beer so I assume shelagh would too😂

Damn it Patrick, you spilled your cup. Furthermore proving you’re a disaster 😭

LMAO SHELAGH’s “WTF” FACE WHEN SHE ASKS PATRICK WHAT HE’S THINKING ABOUT AND HE SAID THE ULCER CLINIC

LIKE C'MON PATRICK YOU KNOW WHERE SHELAGH WAS TRYNA GO WITH THAT😂

“And if you don’t mind my saying so, you’re not exactly Cliff Richards yourself” SHELAGH 😂😂 another great line of hers, love it

I love their playful banter lol we need more of that 😂 but lets be real series 6 has had some of the greatest Shelagh and Patrick moments so I can’t complain 😭😍

Peter and Barbara is such a unusual dynamic haha

“How is chummy?” Wait does Babs even know Chummy? I don’t even remember if they met tbh

But for real Shelagh did you really think Patrick would just forget about work completely ??

Lol Angela crying because she is petrified of squirrels😂😂and Shelagh running to her is so cute.

Why didn’t she just get rid of the *creepy* squirrel nutkin book? it seemed like they still had it in series 6 haha

rice pudding is I think the same as aroz con leche, lol it’s gross sorry

Diane’s water broke oh shit

the Turners all in the tent playing I spy bc it’s raining haha

I went camping for the first and last time this past summer w/ my sister in laws & her friends, it was awful 😂😂 I got like 100 mosquito bites that became welts, i literally slept in the car the second night & it was mid July fairly south of east coast aka it was humid and sticky af , there were wild horses that walked around..Thank God they brought alcohol cause it was a nightmare I don’t wanna remember 😂😂

ANGELA IS SO CUTE UGH & ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH FACE😂

lol yes go to a hotel, should’ve done that from the get

So what exactly does Fred run? some civil defense thing?

She’s in labor and can’t even scream omg, I’m screaming

“They are often incorrect in their opinion” Sister MJ is a gem. I want someone to look at me the way Sister MJ looks at cake and the television

Phyllis yelling at Dr Godfrey😂

PATS’S FACE OF DISGUST IS ALSO ME

HOW DO THESE WOMEN GIVE BIRTH STANDING/SITTING UP?? AHHHH

There you are Beatrix, it’s been a while

Patsy being suspicious with the card game line lol. but when is Trixie going to find out about Patsy and Delia?

SHE RIPPED OUT HER WOMB?! WTF OMG IM SCREAMING

THIS HURTS TO WATCH AHH

Trixie and Sister MC to the rescue but omg this is wild I forgot

Fred wtf you can’t be sneaking up like that

DONT LEAVE SISTER MC ALONE TRIXIE

NOO, IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

“There are flowers on the table, and feathers in these pillows, that’s all the nature I need to get back to” I feel you Patrick lol, I like nature but not camping

Lol remember Shelagh’s old nightgown? ah I don’t miss it. The bri nylon is such a look™ & obviously has magically powers i.e this miraculous conception.

“..or they’ve been mulled to death by squirrels” IM DEAD HAHA THAT WAS A GOOD DAD JOKE, NICE ONE PATRICK

aw the baby is so precious

Why is the operating room/being in surgery called theatre in the U.K.?? and why is the doctor’s office/practice called the surgery? so many questions from a confused American..

Sister MC by the docks😭💔 she was just chillin with God and THIS HORRIBLE MAN RUINS EVERYTHING WTF UGH

Oh no

SISTER MC JUST UNCONSCIOUS ON THE DOCKS WTF IM CRYING WHY WOULD HURT HER

Patrick even if you were there she wouldn’t have called you, don’t blame urself

it’s not your arrogance sister MC!!

“don’t you even say the word fault, do you hear me, I won’t allow it” 😭💔 it’s NOT your fault sister MC 😰

I forgot how upset/hurt this episode makes me

“The worst thing is that I actually stopped to pray…” my heart hurts

You can’t even blame her for being angry😪

Judith you’re not a bad mother!! This isn’t your fault either

Sister MJ IN THE BATHROOM WITH HER😢😢💔💔 I’m c r y i n

I SAID PROTECT THEM AT ALL COSTS WHY DID THEY HURT ME LIKE THIS

Everyone so quiet at the table..

ILL FOREVER BE PROUD OF HOW BRAVE SISTER MC IS FOR SPEAKING UP FOR HER AND THE OTHER VICTIMS💖😭💔

Russian prison tats??

“I thought at first it was a test of faith, but it was a test of strength. I can bear more than I ever though I could and I can bear it for others because my strength is a gift, from him..” brb sobbing

I feel so bad for Mrs Hills bc I understand she thought she was doing the right thing and was trying to protect her daughter from the stigma & judgment from having a baby born outta wedlock 😭

But damn she almost killed her & now she can’t have any more kids

“I’m a mum, mum” Aw

lol I want children (obviously not anytime soon) but if I do Ima be shook for the rest of my life. Like my kids will be like grown & I’ll still wake up like wtf I had them? Lmaoo

SHELAGH’S GREY DRESS >>😍

Patrick jumping on the bed was cute lol

The Turners being cute and an unrealistically perfect family together as usual

Trixie 😍off to her AA💕

“I think it’s about time I came clean..”

Im so proud of her omg. She’s come so far in 6 series 😭💖💖😭

And Patsy and Delia are supportive yess👏🏼

“New truths were being spoken at Nonnatus house, but some remained concealed. While one voice rose, striving to erase its agony in song.”

Thanks Vanessa,, The End 😭

#call the midwife #lets get it 1962 #I'm too attached to this beautiful show #like TRASH for this show #my commentaries™

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junker-town · 7 years

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NBA free agents 2017: Ranking the top 50

This free agent class is top-heavy, but falls off thereafter. Here are our rankings by position.

The NBA has already seen one major shake-up with the Jimmy Butler trade to the Timberwolves on draft night. More moves are sure to come, both before the end of June as cap space expires and once midnight strikes on July 1, when NBA free agency opens.

The 2017 NBA free agent class is relatively shallow, with some mammoth names up high (including five 2016-17 NBA All-Stars), a few young blue chippers, and a metric ton of situational role players. Power forward and point guard are rather deep in this class, whereas there are few decent available centers or shooting guards.

Teams are going to have to get creative, in other words.

We’re presenting our NBA free agent rankings somewhat differently this year. We pulled together a list of the top 50 free agents overall, then sorted them by position. (We listed them in the position they played the most last season, according to Basketball-Reference’s play-by-play data.) As such, we don’t have an overall top 50 ranking, or even a top 10 for each position.

Needless to say, with such shaky options outside of the marquee stars, this is all rather subjective. Some players not listed in these rankings could easily be better fits for specific teams’ situations than the players listed. We’ll leave those decisions up to the general managers.

Let’s get to it.

NOTE: We updated these rankings on June 29 to reflect Chris Paul’s decision to opt in and the Mavericks’ decision to decline their option on Dirk Nowitzki.

Photo by Jason Miller/Getty Images

Point guards

1. Stephen Curry

Curry isn’t going anywhere, of course. But he is the No. 2 overall free agent in this class behind Kevin Durant. It’s worth noting that the Warriors are going to re-sign the top two free agents in 2017 with two other All-Stars already locked up on the roster. Good grief.

2. Kyle Lowry

Lowry might have been the best guard in the Eastern Conference this season until an elbow injury derailed his All-NBA campaign. Lowry blossomed into an all-star in Toronto, but the franchise has vowed changes after a disappointing sweep by the Cavaliers. The Raptors are already paying DeMar DeRozan more than $30 million per season. Can they pay the backcourt $65-70 million a year and build a competitive team around them? Perhaps not.

The Raptors’ saving grace may be that few teams have needs at point guard and big salary space to lock up with a 31-year-old. Lowry’s worth a massive contract, but this might be the wrong year to maximize his earnings with more affordable options right behind him.

3. George Hill

Hill helped bring Utah along as a game-changer in the backcourt despite missing 33 games due to injury. He’s not the scorer, passer, or playmaker that CP3 or Lowry are, but like those two, Hill is a steadying force. Utah would love to bring him back, but a salary crunch and big offers out there for Hill may lead him to leave.

If Hill’s medical records check out, he’d be a huge aid to a team looking to make a leap with a need at point guard. The Bucks, Nuggets, and Pelicans would be stellar landing spots if they can open the space.

4. Jrue Holiday

Holiday struggled to find his way with Anthony Davis and DeMarcus Cousins, but the trio came along as the season wrapped up. The Pelicans are in a bind: if they don’t pay up to retain Holiday, they don’t have cap space to chase someone like Lowry, Hill, or someone slightly lower on this list. It’s much easier to pay big for Holiday than pay slightly less for Jeff Teague or Patty Mills because of Bird rights.

Holiday can defend — a must for this team at the point — and is a passable deep shooter. Time may be all he and the Twin Towers need to make it work, provided he can remain healthy.

5. Jeff Teague

Teague put up good numbers for a shaky Pacers team. Based on the Paul George situation, it seems unlikely Indiana will be interested in paying heavily to keep Teague around, though you never know.

He’s a classic overpay candidate, though: he scores and passes well, he’s not yet 30, and he looks the part. The only thing that can hurt him is the imbalanced point guard market this summer.

6. Patty Mills

Mills has an impeccable reputation as a teammate, and he’ll only be 29 next season. He’s never been a full-time starter, though, and he’s not quite as potent a scorer as Hill, to say nothing of Holiday or Teague. But given that he’s likely to sign for less than $20 million per season, he could be a nice starter for a younger team. He’d be very nice in Orlando. Depending on how the Knicks want to bring Frank Ntilikina along, he could fit there, too.

7. Derrick Rose

Rose feels like empty calories at this point. With the right coach and teammates, he could turn into a top-drawer back-up point guard. You just wonder if he’s ready to follow that path or if he still believes he can still be an all-star (which he cannot). Seeing what market develops for him this summer should be fascinating.

8. Darren Collison

Collison has actually been solid for the Kings over the last couple of years, and he’s quite a shooter. There’s a strong possibility Sacramento will re-sign him to help bring De’Aaron Fox along, but he could end up as a back-up somewhere for $10-12 million per season.

9. Shaun Livingston

Livingston doesn’t put up numbers, shoot threes, or set up his teammates too much. But he’s a fierce defender, a high-character teammate, and the post-up god of point guards. If the Warriors can’t afford to keep him, he’ll likely fit in anywhere he goes.

Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

Shooting guards

1. J.J. Redick

Redick is clearly the best shooting guard available, and it seems highly likely he’ll leave the Clippers. It speaks to the value of Redick’s skills that L.A. -- with world-class scorers CP3 and Blake Griffin — made it a point to get Redick shots early and often. Redick has also built himself into a fair defender despite a persistent size and speed disadvantage. He knows where he needs to be on both ends.

A huge contract in the wrong situation, though, could be a disaster. He needs a point guard to set him up and a strong wing defender to bail him out of tough assignments. Brooklyn has long seemed like a smart match, but D’Angelo Russell’s presence isn’t perfect. If the Pistons revamp their backcourt, a reunion with Stan Van Gundy could be fruitful.

2. Dion Waiters

Waiters had an incredible contract year — one for the history books. It’s too bad Miami fell just short of the playoffs so that Waiters couldn’t hit a dagger in Cleveland. This year, Waiters found his true calling: as the new Jamal Crawford. Some team -- quite possibly the Heat, or maybe his hometown 76ers — has to realize this and pay him big dollars to chase his destiny.

3. Kentavious Caldwell-Pope (Restricted)

Caldwell-Pope, like pretty much everyone else in a Pistons jersey last season, fell short of expectations. He’s a high-potential defender who would be a blue-chip stud if he could hit threes at a higher rate. As it is, he’s an inefficient scorer due to his inability to attack the rim. That leads to few free throws and too many long twos.

Caldwell-Pope is a restricted free agent. You wonder if some team will be bold enough to offer up a max contract to see if Van Gundy will commit. The two-guard market is extremely shallow.

4. Jonathon Simmons (Restricted)

Simmons is Tony Allen for a new generation, with less marketing genius. The Spurs have an advantage with restricted status, but someone could certainly sneak in there with a quick offer sheet as San Antonio attempts to make a big move. Paying Simmons $15 million a year seems like a huge risk given his lack of offensive punch.

5. Tim Hardaway, Jr. (Restricted)

Hardaway has no lack of offensive punch. If Paul Millsap leaves the Hawks but Hardaway comes back, he could end up as Atlanta’s leading scorer! It’d be empty calories in large part, though: Hardaway isn’t much of a defender or a playmaker for others.

There’s a big risk that with a larger shooting load, his efficiency will crash. He’s shot quite well on two-pointers without drawing many fouls: that’s a volatile situation to be in. In addition, he already takes a high volume of threes. Any additional threes could be especially tough, and lower his long-range efficiency.

There is danger in these waters.

6. Kyle Korver

Korver’s at the end of his career, but he is extremely good at an extremely important skill. That’s worth some dough.

7. Manu Ginobili

Ginobili may very well retire. We thought that could be the case a year ago as well ... and he ended up with a nice eight-figure contract. So long as Ginobili wants to play in the NBA, he should be paid handsomely to do so. The world needs Manu more than ever.

Photo by Gene Sweeney Jr/Getty Images

Small forwards

1. Gordon Hayward

Hayward is one of the biggest prizes of free agency, and it’s easy to see why. Hayward’s an ascendant highly efficient scorer who moves the ball well and is just 27 years old. He may not be an All-NBA caliber player, but he’s quite possibly a regular all-star over the length of his next contract. You dream about landing players like this in free agency. Kevin Durant was the only better player to switch teams in free agency a year ago.

Utah has home-court advantage both in terms of total guaranteed salary and comfort level. But Hayward will look around, and he could make a massive difference for a new team like Boston or Miami.

2. Otto Porter (Restricted)

Porter finally came along in his fourth season, just in time to shore up a max-level second contract. It’s incredibly unlikely he’ll earn it anywhere other than Washington, D.C., since Porter is a restricted free agent. The Wizards didn’t make Bradley Beal sign a max offer sheet elsewhere a year ago, and they are unlikely to change course with Porter.

Otto is a solid wing defender who became an incredibly high-efficiency scorer in 2016-17. If he were an unrestricted free agent at age 24, there’d be a huge battle for his services, as there will be for Hayward. But Porter fits right in with the Wizards, and they’ll gladly be the ones to pay him big bucks.

3. Rudy Gay

Gay at No. 3 coming off a ruptured Achilles shows you how shallow the small forward position will be in this market, especially considering Porter’s restricted status. But Gay is an impressive old-school scorer who was decently efficient playing off DeMarcus Cousins in Sacramento. He’s no stopper on defense, but he’s better than most give him credit for being. He is a stopper — a ball-stopper — on offense, though. That means fit is incredibly important.

Gay would be a nice reserve scorer if a team has salary flexibility to slot him in that role and he embraces it.

4. Andre Iguodala

The NBA Finals were anticlimactic, but they served to ensure Iguodala gets paid one way or another. He looked downright spry after a hobbled close to the season, and his clutch defense on LeBron James showed he still has it.

If he leaves Golden State -- perhaps a necessity unless the Warriors are willing to pay huge gobs of luxury tax or Iguodala is willing to sign for only a year or two -- fit will be a huge concern. Iguodala needs to be on a team with plenty of scoring and shooting. You wonder if Boston would make a run at him if the Hayward and Paul George gambits fall through.

5. C.J. Miles

It seems impossible that C.J. Miles just turned 30 at the end of the regular season. The power of the preps-to-pro black mirror knows no bounds.

Miles is just a very solid NBA wing: he’s quite efficient, will defend anyone you throw at him, and fits in. He never stands out, but every team could use a few players like him. He seems like the perfect Houston Rocket.

6. Andre Roberson (Restricted)

Roberson’s free agency should be fascinating. He’s a world-class defender who is an absolute drain on offense. He can’t shoot, he’s an intentional foul liability, and he’s not a terribly dangerous slasher (unlike the younger version of Tony Allen). He could learn to shoot or cut more effectively, but paying what he’s likely to cost is a mighty big risk, especially considering that defense is cheaper to purchase on the open market.

Roberson is going to get more than Solomon Hill did in 2016. Is that appropriate? It’s not clear that it is.

Of course, the Roberson situation could end up boring if Oklahoma City — who has restricted status on him -- cuts a check before he chases offer sheets.

7. Tyreke Evans

Evans isn’t particularly good at any one thing, but he plays three positions (four in a pinch), moves the ball really well when he’s not pounding it into the floor, and is an excellent rebounder when playing the guard positions (less frequently last season, hence his listing at small forward). His versatility and youth (28 next season) will get some team to talk themselves into him. It might even work out.

8. Joe Ingles (Restricted)

Slow Mo Joe is more valuable to Utah than he would be to most franchises. It’s lucky, then, that the Jazz have restricted rights on Ingles. As Utah concentrates on retaining Hayward and Hill, and perhaps moving Derrick Favors and Dante Exum, Ingles can go out and find a team willing to pay a 30-year-old low-scoring glue guy.

If the offer is within reason and Utah needs to keep the team together for another run, the Jazz can match. If Hayward and Hill bail and a quick retooling around Rudy Gobert is in order, Utah can let Ingles jog away slowly. There’s peril in a fat Joe Ingles contract, but not so much for the Jazz. They are in control.

9. P.J. Tucker

Tucker was a boon for the Raptors as a wing defender, but it’s quite risky to pay big money to 32-year-olds who don’t score or create much. Toronto needs defenders more than most, but Tucker is not irreplaceable.

10. Bojan Bogdanovic (Restricted)

Bogdanovic is an effective, efficient bench scorer. But he’s a minus defender and a black hole. Be careful here.

Robert Hanashiro-USA TODAY Sports

Power forwards

1. Kevin Durant

Durant is the best free agent for the second straight year, and he’s in the conversation for best basketball player in the world. Unlike 2016, though, Durant isn’t switching teams. He’s relishing life in the Bay Area too much, especially after a dominant NBA playoffs run and championship.

2. Blake Griffin

Griffin is a majestic scorer and rebounder and one of the best passing big men in the league, but he hasn’t played anything close to a full season since 2014. He’s a max-contract player regardless. His health will likely determine whether that works out for whichever team signs him, be it the Clippers or another squad. Griffin would be an amazing fit in Miami.

3. Paul Millsap

Millsap is a top two-way power forward whose shooting efficiency has slipped as Atlanta has hemorrhaged talent. Put him in the right setting and his efficiency could bounce right back. The risk here is due to his age -- he’s 32 — and his inability to develop consistent three-point marksmanship. His excellent defense makes up for it, but there’s a chance that Millsap could become an anchor on the back end of his contract if he loses a step and can’t guard agile bigs going forward.

4. Serge Ibaka

Ibaka salvaged his contract year by playing well down the stretch for Toronto after getting lost in the Orlando morass for the first half. Serge remains a top-notch defender despite losing an edge over the years, and his jumper is reliable. (It’s worth noting that Ibaka is a superior deep shooter to Millsap.) He’s had just one major injury over eight seasons, and will be just 28 years old next season.

Ibaka’s going to get a massive contract, and odds are he’ll avail himself well. He’d be a lovely fit in Denver, Portland (if they can find some flexibility), or Minnesota. Don’t sleep on the possibility of a rebuilding team deciding to leverage cap space to outbid better teams and lock him in at a max contract given his age. Sacramento and Phoenix could be contenders there.

5. Danilo Gallinari

The Rooster is one of the best stretch four scorers when he can stay healthy, which has unfortunately been a problem. Gallinari was really efficient last season, but missed 19 games. He’s a minus on defense, which makes him an imperfect fit in Denver, which needs some defensive help in a bad way. Beyond that, it just feels as though the Nuggets are ready to move on from the Gallinari era.

The Rooster can play either forward position, and might be a nice consolation prize for a team that doesn’t land Hayward or Griffin. The Jazz could end up being a nice fit.

6. JaMychal Green (Restricted)

Green is a role player, but a high-level one. He’s highly efficient at low volume and can defend well. Green is a solid rebounder at power forward, but shouldn’t be asked to move the ball or create his own shot. He needs to be featured in a unit that has enough scoring and passing around him. It’s hard to imagine him being better anywhere else than he is in Memphis, where he was a godsend last season. He’s a restricted free agent, so the Grizzlies should have no problem keeping him.

7. Dirk Nowitzki

Dirk isn’t leaving Dallas — the belief is that he will sign a new two-year deal with the Mavericks to finish out his contract. He’s still a strong supplemental scorer and a locker room legend. Thank goodness the Mavericks won’t let some team Ewing On The Sonics or Hakeem On The Raptors him.

8. James Johnson

Wyoming’s finest was a revelation for the Heat as he remade his body and found scoring and playmaking touch that hadn’t been evident in his previous NBA stops. Defense is Johnson’s bread and butter, but he can shoot and slash too and he’s one of the better big man passers available this summer. Miami appears to be aiming toward a more star-level forward with eyes on Hayward and Griffin; that could lead another team to poaching Johnson early in free agency. If not, the Heat will be glad to give him a salary boost to stick around.

9. Zach Randolph

Z-Bo is soon to be 36 years old, but the dude still gets buckets. He transitioned well into a bench role last season and would be a huge pick-up for a contending team if he decides to take a big pay cut.

10. Taj Gibson

Gibson is a solid defender at power forward who can hit mid-range jumpers and stay out of the way on offense. He could be a nice role player for a team with scoring punch like Minny, Denver, or Washington. It’ll be interesting to see how much the Thunder are willing to spend to re-sign him.

11. Nikola Mirotic (Restricted)

Mirotic needs to be a better long-range shooter to justify his minutes and volume. You wonder how much of his lower clip from deep has to do with Chicago’s lack of spacing -- he was often the only Bull on the floor who was even a threat from deep. Things could look better with a different supporting cast. Otherwise, Mirotic is an anemic rebounder and poor defender. He’s there to hit shots.

12. Michael Beasley

The Michael Beasley rejuvenation continues. He’s a nice bench scorer who can step out to the three-point line (though he doesn’t do it often). Beasley is basically interchangeable with Marreese Speights.

13. Amir Johnson

Johnson is all about defense. He was a starter on a No. 1 seed, but so was Zaza Pachulia. Amir is better than that, though his value will be purely situational. It’s unlikely Boston can afford to pay him or prioritize him, which means he’ll be looking for a new fit on the market. Pairing him with score-first bigs — like in Charlotte, perhaps — could be fruitful.

14. Ersan Ilyasova

The scrap heap stretch four puts up decent numbers wherever he goes. He’s been a solid rebounder in the past two, though he’s not a reliable defender. You’d be glad to have him in your rotation.

15. Patrick Patterson

Two-Pat is an efficient shooter, but has remained at low volumes his entire career. He’s an undersized but active defender, and he’s pretty young at 28 years old. Patterson is a major candidate to go to a franchise where he’ll work himself into excellent shape, boost his per-game numbers, and set himself up for a payday in one year. Consider him the next James Johnson (replacing the passing with shooting).

16. Jeff Green

JEFF GREEN.

Jerome Miron-USA TODAY Sports

Centers

1. Nerlens Noel (Restricted)

It speaks to the low depth of centers on the free agent market that Noel is easily No. 1 on this list. A top-level defender, Noel doesn’t do anything he can’t. He’s somewhere between Tyson Chandler and Bismack Biyombo. Noel’s yet to have a really good point guard to set him up off picks-and-rolls -- perhaps within a couple years, Dallas draftee Dennis Smith will get there and boost Noel’s scoring output to double-digits.

Dallas will pay whatever it takes to keep Noel, a restricted free agent. He’s going nowhere.

2. Pau Gasol

Gasol’s defense has fallen off considerably (not that it was ever elite), but he remains quite effective as a scorer, rebounder, and passer as he approaches his 37th birthday. The Spurs have apparently worked out a deal to re-sign him after he graciously opted out of a mammoth contract, so expect to see Pau stay in the silver and black for a couple more seasons.

3. Kelly Olynyk (Restricted)

Olynyk’s per-game numbers mask his solid production — he’s just never been a featured player for Brad Stevens. Given a bigger role elsewhere, he could be a 14-8 center at relatively high efficiency given how many threes he shoots. He’s 26 (older than you’d expect from a restricted free agent) and his defense is a mixed bag. But he should probably be a starter in the NBA at his point in his career. Phoenix could be an interesting fit.

4. Mason Plumlee (Restricted)

Denver traded Jusuf Nurkic and a first-round pick for the right to pay Mason Plumlee in free agency, so they’d better do so. Of course, this constitutes falling right into the sunken cost fallacy. Christian Laettner 2.0 is getting a $60-80 million offer sheet from someone; the Nuggets will have to decide what to do at that point.

5. Nene

Nene played on a discount for the Rockets and proved his worth coming off the bench behind Clint Capela. The combination of his age (nearly 35) and frequent injuries will scare teams off from making a big long-term commitment, but he’s a very solid option as a mid-cost starter or top reserve.

6. Dewayne Dedmon

Dedmon will be a fascinating free agent case. He’ll be 28 next season. He’s one of the very best rebounders in the league and a damn good rim protector. But he’s also a foul machine -- it’s not so much his offensive constraints that keep him off the foul as it is his propensity to hack.

There is definitely a huge danger that some team falls in love, tests the Spurs’ loyalty, and gets burned with a bad contract. Alternately, a new team could unlike some hidden finishing talent in Dedmon’s bones and turn him into the next Hassan Whiteside.

7. Marreese Speights

When you need buckets there is only one man to call.

8. Alex Len (Restricted)

Like Dedmon, Len’s problem staying on the floor is often foul trouble. Avoiding fouls can usually be learned. Len’s a nice little scorer and excellent rebounder who is just 24. Phoenix has the right to match, as Len is a restricted free agent. The most obvious solution is for the Suns to offer up a reasonable multi-year extension, but never count out the opportunity for a franchise with cap space to shake things up. No matter the era, young big men in the NBA make teams act crazy.

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