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shogunchelios · 3 years

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Seven Sins: A Discussion and Ranking

When I was 17, I declared myself an atheist and went along my merry way. twenty years later, I merry'd my way back to the discussion because it turns out, there's more to it than that. The whole concept of god and the afterlife and guardian angels and devils is too fantastical for me. I thought that was what being in a religion was about. believing all the crazy parts of the holy books as literal. it wasn't until I started to introspect full blast (because I was fully blasted on the ganja) that I understood what religion truly was. The real meat (that you can't eat on fridays) of religion is to provide a structure, a rulebook for life. Being an angsty teenager, I didn't mind throwing that out along with the supernatural stuff. How dare you impose rules on me? I'm a legal adult! Now that I've been developing into an actual adult, I see that rules aren't things to hold us back. It's the rules that make everything work better. Just like the universe wouldn't exist without electromagnetism, weak and strong nuclear forces, and gravity, life doesn't function as well without some restrictions. like in wrestling, the matches aren't as good if the referee just allows anyone to interfere, anyone to get pinned, etc. We fall into chaos when there is no order, which is what Jordan Peterson's book is all about. Last weekend, I was at a family gathering of in-laws and someone there was really into 'the secret.' The dude is even going to come out on the new documentary they're going to put out after the success of the old one. the old one was something i hated because it was so dumb. The video is just folks saying 'well, i just focused my thoughts on checks arriving to my mail, instead of bills, and now a year later, checks are coming in every week!' It's like those workout videos that show a fat person and a muscular person three months later. they leave out the part where the entire lifestyle (diet, sleep, consistent workouts) has to change. the secret left out the part where you still have to do some work. But when the dude started explaining why he enjoyed the secret, most of it was what I read in Jordan Peterson's book (fix yourself first, be grateful for what you have, etc). Which in itself is just a guidebook of rules to follow. It seems non-secular folk spend a lot of time searching out new religions, as long as they're not called religions. The ones I've gravitated to are buddhism (life sucks, so make the best of it) and the self-help corner (make a plan, distract yourself from sucky life with material/emotional successes). none of them have god in them. which makes it tougher because if you have some all-powerful being you're disappointing, it motivates you, especially if he can see you at all times (like santa. didn't like to disappoint him either). But when it's just me I'm disappointing, well, I don't care as much, because who am I to try to impress myself? fuck myself, that guy sucks anyway. which is why my roaring twenties were spent going the opposite way. if there is no god, and it's just me, then fuck it, let me do all the things i shouldn't and see where it gets me! then god is sitting there, like thanos in endgame, telling me 'where did that bring you? back to me. I am inevitable.' Then he caused a huge flood and killed half the population. but it's not all bad. We learn from our experiences and the mistakes teach us the most. I haven't touched a stove burner since I was five and touched it that one time. so, without further ado, here's a ranking of the seven deadly sins in order from worst to best! 7. wrath not too surprising that wrath would end up pretty low on my list, considering my usual happy-go-lucky baseline. it's in there though. i feel it, like when i'm driving somewhere and the asshole in front of me is tapping on their brakes even though there aren't any cars in front of them. or when i want to turn right and the dude in front of me isn't turning on the red light and waits for the green light TO TURN RIGHT. my biggest wish from when i started driving was

that every car had some sorta phone and everyone's carphone number is the same as the license plate. that way, i can call the asshole in front of me and go full sam kinison on them. 'FFFUUUCCCKING GOOOOO YOOU GOODDAMMN MOTHERFUCKER SONOFAFUCKINGBITCHMOTHERFUUUUCKEEEERRRRRRR!' other than the road rage though, i don't partake too often in the fun of wrath. i know i have more in me because at least a couple times of year i have a dream where i'm beating the crap out of somebody. but like, excessively. and it's never anyone very specific. that's why i'm not sure if a memory i have from my youth is real or not. i think i had sent that story already, but when i was about 4 or 5 years old, i was at my grandpa Chorizo's house and i beat the everloving shit out of some neighborhood kid while my brother and uncle egg'd me on. then we never spoke about it again. so was it real or a wrath dream? the world may never know. 6. envy this one would've been ranked higher about 10-15 years ago, right at the height of myspace/facebook/google+ (i swear it almost became a thing! you should've given it a try!). it's not just wanting what others have though. it's also taking pleasure in their misfortune (good ol' schadenfreude [i had to google 'buddhism' to spell it right, yet i got schadenfreude right on the first try, which says a lot about me]). social media and envy are like jerry and beth when they go to the alien marriage counselor. alone, each one is bad, but obvious. together, though, and they're unstoppable, one feeding into the other endlessly. healthier folks can channel their envy into something positive. "i want to go on a cruise too, i'm going to work harder to achieve it!" for unhealthy assholes like me though, it's more "why is this big-bootied chick with that schlub? i'm much handsomer! i should homewreck." but even if it were to happen, at that point, i wouldn't even want that chick anymore. no one wants to be part of a club that would have themselves as a member. the longing and wanting is the best part of envy, which is why it's ranked this low. that part sucks. i like getting what i want and having it. the anticipation is the part i dislike the most. waiting in line brings up my wrath and that takes up way too much energy. 5. pride according to my extensive research (wikipedia), pride is the worst of the worst. the father of all sins. pride leads to every other vice. it is the complete anti-god state of mind. they have the tower of babel as their image to define it. believing we're powerful enough to build a tower high enough to reach god, how dare us? putting ourselves first before all, that's not too good, says the bible/god. but wouldn't that make god prideful? the dude doesn't allow us to put anything else before him, that's the biggest unchecked pride i know of, but i guess when you create existence, you can be full of yourself. my pride is mostly all about my looks, as if it wasn't obvious. sometimes i think i suffer from low self-esteem, but that's mostly about my inside, i feel like i'm a piece of shit. but the outside, i think i've got a decent situation happening. it's that belief that throws gas on my fire of superficiality. no fat chick would ever have a chance with me, because, c'mon, look at me, i can do better than you. that's why i befriended all those fat girls that later were ready to divorce to have a chance at me. i figured 'well, they don't give me boners, so it's totally safe to be charming/flirty.' not even considering that they may be catching feelings and ready to risk it all for a taste of my sweet chocolate lovin. i know, seems like i'm high on pride, so why is it so low? because it's exhausting. i'm constantly in a state of mind of 'i'm the star of the show' as if i'm being filmed for a reality show that's being filmed in secret, truman show style. it's why i alternate hairstyles so often, because i have to keep things fresh for my audience. practicing my facial expressions in the mirror, telling anecdotes to myself ahead of time,

expensive haircuts, it's time consuming. the buddhism helped bring my ego into check. it's about controlling the hungry ghost. or, like in 'community' where the gang go to a party as celebrity impressionists, i was going through a jeff winger inflating apple moment until it burst (britta came up with the metaphor, which to her is 'an idea with another idea's hat on' which is such a perfect metaphor). now, i try to spend less time on my looks, and more time on my rotten insides. 4. greed isn't the quote 'greed is good' (i hate putting punctuation inside quotes when they don't match the quote, so here's a sidenote to make space for the question mark)? i think folks can manage and be decent even if they've got some of that greed in them. It helps them make a lot of money, which they can use for good. unless they have a lot of pride, then maybe not. it's the combinations that get you. the reason I'm ranking greed higher than pride, though, is because i'd definitely rather be rich than handsome. with money, you can hire people to tell you you're good looking. like prostitutes, lots and lots of them. but then you can never get your fill. greed is weird, because i feel like it's the basis for the rest of the sins at the top of the list. wanting more and more of something. i don't have as much greed in me as some of the other ones, so i guess maybe i'd like to have more of it? shit, there just isn't much to say about it. maybe that's why it's in the middle of the list, it's the humpday of sins. yeah, no one likes greedy folks, but everyone would love to have a wealthy friend. so this is one of those sins you can get away with, as long as you don't pair it with pride, or wrath. because then you'd be beating people with sacks of money. let's move on. 3. gluttony i almost ranked gluttony much lower, since i've had a complicated relationship with food. sure, it gives me nourishment, but also, that one time, i got hepatitis from church's chicken. then also, there's the time i smoked, early on, maybe my 3rd or 4th time, and i had sorta had sex with a pizza. now wait, hold up. let me rephrase that. no, let me just start the topic over, because i've had this in my head as a short stand-up comedy act. by a round of applause, how many of y'all here tonight have had sex with food? ok ok, hold on, i think we're all thinking of different things. some of y'all clapped and you're thinking of the classic strawberries being rubbed on your nipples or whatever. no, no, i'm not talking about that kind. nice work, though, keeping it classy. not like the other folks out there. i can see by your face that you're on the other side of the food sex spectrum. not that i'm judging, by all means, more power to you. but, no, i'm not talking about american pie, cut a hole in a melon, condom on a cucumber type of events. but again, you do you, friends. no, what i'm talking about is, have you ever eaten something so delicious that it gave you a boner? halfway through the brooklyn style dominos pizza, i realized that loud heavy breathing was coming from me, and my hips were involuntarily thrusting while i deepthroated the cheese and pepperoni. that's why gluttony got ranked this high. at this point, the sins are just fighting over order of preference. in our barest, most honest versions of heaven/paradise/nirvana, having all our favorite foods is basically near the top. there's only one thing that would stop me from a boner pizza. 2. lust yeah, i know, i figured this was an easy swish for the number one spot. but believe it or not, a lot of care went into this list. trying to figure out how to rank all these activities, I had to come up with criteria. and the first thing i thought of was, what gives me the most pleasure. then i subtracted out how bad i feel before, during, or after the acts. and lust only has the middle part as a high, and the rest not so much. but boy is that high super high. during the act, whether with a partner or solo, there's nothing better. flash a bag of money, a pizza,

pictures of myself, nothing will take me away from it. the problem is that it's too good. once it's over, what else is there? have a cigarette? drink a beer? what's going to bring you up to that same high? what else can compare? that's why whenever you find out someone abstains from drinking and drugs (which both fall under gluttony, i think. another reason it was ranked so high), they're usually addicted to sex or porn. like chris d'elia and all his pervy activities. it can fulfill your every desire. but after the eleven minutes (much love Paolo Coehlo) are done, what's left? if you're in love, then you bask in the love. if it was with a random, then you bask in the awkwardness. and if you were alone, then you bask in the shame. all that basking puts a filter on the goodness. then I also thought about the boner pizza, and the only thing that'd take me away from that pizza is some good ol' fashioned homespun luvin', but the only thing that'd take me away from that good ol' fashioned homespun luvin' is some even better activity. one that can not be replicated. 1. sloth taking a siesta. becoming the devil's plaything. tirando la hueva. i always get mad when folks say 'oh, i love the rainy weather!' because when i ask why anyone would like a gloomy day, they say 'oh because it's great weather to stay in and watch movies!' uh, you can do that shit on sunny days too. you're just looking to be lazy and need an excuse. just be lazy and be done with it. don't evoke mother nature to give yourself an excuse. like the covid overreactors. you know a lot of them acted terrified because they wanted a reason to not have to go to work. just fucking admit it! we get mad at others for what we hate in ourselves, which is how I know this one is a sin. I hate that my favorite all-time pastime is just shooting the shit, watching the world pass by. this is why sloth is number one. i'm a lazy fuck and i'm not ashamed. it's the sin that I most identify with and it's the one that has slowly been taking me down. at its own pace and leisure. well, I'm not 'not ashamed,' since i still get offended when someone other than myself calls me lazy. only our kind can use that word. call me unmotivated instead. that's the proper term. all the time i've spent trying to understand myself this is the one that i can't explain. it's been my dark passenger for as long as I could remember. i guess tv is my dealer. that's what keeps me the slothiest. but i also vegetate when i have something pending to do. or if there's a situation i don't want to deal with. like when lucy got mis-diagnosed and i thought she was dying, for days i couldn't do anything. the only thing i can accomplish when i fall into a slothhole is smoke the green. which makes the inactivity so much more exciting and fun. still though, you can't defeat it. it keeps you out of trouble, outside of the existential kind, and is completely free. you can partake at any moment, but it gives you the biggest rush when it's right before a major project is due. or even when it's a completely voluntary project that you use to self-impose deadlines that you then ignore, so you don't finish your 'seven deadly sins ranking' idea you came up with in april until mid-june, a week after you were going to send it. You know I have it right. Shit, I know you probably skipped down to look at number one because you were too lazy to read your way there. The best sins are the ones that feel the best and are secretly the worst. During lust, you can feel yourself going ape-like sometimes, and you feel like a fat fuck when you're devouring your third helping, but scratching your balls and watching TV while the world is on fire? That sin right there is a slice of heaven.

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nationaldvam · 5 years

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By Patty Branco, National Resource Center on Domestic Violence (NRCDV)

“I am trying desperately to get back home to North Dakota before my abuser is released from jail. I am stranded in Louisiana. Please help me if in any way possible.” – Marie* (survivor reaching out to NRCDV)

Like Marie, survivors often reach out to NRCDV with inquiries about relocation assistance. In my role as a technical assistance provider, I often feel heartbroken over the challenges they face, and at the same time, inspired by the resilience and resourcefulness that they carry. While our organization does not provide direct services such as emergency shelter or crisis intervention, we do refer survivors to their local domestic violence program, state/territory coalition and the community-based resources best positioned to offer the support that they need. Although leaving is not an option for or the desire of every survivor – not to mention that ending the relationship does not necessarily end the abuse – many survivors do leave their abusive partners. Some survivors see relocating to a different city, county, state or country as the only option for finding support and safety from abuse.

Relocation is certainly a broad and complex issue, with many important considerations. For example, there are legal implications that domestic violence survivors must consider when moving with children from one state or tribal jurisdiction to another. The Legal Resource Center on Violence Against Women and the Resource Center on Domestic Violence: Child Protection and Custody provide training and resources to help advocates and survivors navigate these legal issues (see Frequently Asked Questions on Relocation for Victim Advocates). While relocation may be the most viable option for a survivor to permanently cut ties with an abusive partner in some cases, it is critical that survivors receive strategic guidance to make informed choices when they need to relocate for their personal safety. Safety Net Project provides resources and consultation to better equip advocates and other professionals to address the complexity and challenges of ensuring survivors’ privacy and safety when they relocate (see, for instance, important considerations about identity protection and change).

“I was wondering how I can apply for grants, so my children and I can relocate and get established elsewhere where we feel safe.” – Paula* (survivor reaching out to NRCDV)

Most of the time, when survivors reach out to NRCDV, they are seeking information about financial resources to make their relocation possible. They need money to fuel their car or buy a bus or plane ticket, to pay the security deposit on a new apartment, to support themselves until they find a job. The process of leaving and relocating can be particularly challenging for survivors who are socially or economically marginalized, including low-income survivors, those in isolated, rural areas, as well as immigrant survivors who may lack support networks. Available research has consistently identified poverty, economic dependence, and lack of tangible resources and social support as strong predictors of women’s decisions to return to, or remain with, their abusers. Additionally, studies have also found that women of color are at an “increased risk of encountering structural and social barriers that complicate help-seeking” for domestic violence (Crisafi & Jasinski, 2015, p. 1002).

Relocation funding may vary from state to state. In some states, the crime victim compensation program may cover relocation expenses for victims who must move for their physical safety, or a relocation assistance program for domestic violence victims may be available through the Department of Children and Families. In some instances, the cost of emergency relocation to a safer housing situation may also be offset by flexible funding – an emerging approach being used in many states across the country to address survivors’ housing needs (see How can I use funding from the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA) to address the housing needs of domestic violence survivors in my community?). It is important that survivors connect with their local domestic violence program and state/territory coalition for assistance with learning about and accessing available funding.

Partnering with Moving Companies as an Advocacy Strategy

Victim-defined advocacy must address the economic safety needs of survivors, including tangible economic resources. Creative and strategic community collaborations can create opportunities for supplementing traditional relocation funding and/or providing assistance when survivors do not qualify for these funding options. As one such strategy, this TAQ highlights examples of partnerships to provide free moving services to survivors.

“Just moved here. I have no family to assist me. I’m trying to get the money for a deposit and to hire someone to load and unload a truck for me to move out of this very dangerous situation.” – Kathy* (survivor reaching out to NRCDV)

We know that survivors leaving dangerous situations need a variety of things such as safety planning assistance, legal advocacy, affordable housing, adequate child care, job training and stable employment. As Kathy (quoted above) reminds us, they also need very tangible things like help packing their belongings and loading and unloading a truck. I first learned about free services designed to assist victims of domestic violence with their moving needs back in 2016, when I provided domestic violence training materials to Shelter Movers. A volunteer-based organization, Shelter Movers offers no-cost moving and storage services to domestic violence survivors and their children. The organization collaborates with community partners in Ottawa, Vancouver and Toronto to help families move out of abusive homes. According to their website, this “service model is highly replicable and requires very little overhead to operate, making its establishment in other communities across Canada very viable.”

vimeo

SMT - a client's story from Mike Meehan on Vimeo.

In the United States, through partnerships with several domestic violence programs in California, Meathead Movers has been providing, for over 15 years, “premium moving services while extending a philanthropic arm to victims of domestic violence by giving them a fresh start with free moving services” (see California Moving Company Helps Victims of Domestic Violence Flee Their Abusers for Free). Similarly, the nation-wide moving company TWO MEN AND A TRUCK® has also established partnerships with local domestic violence programs such as Friendship Home in Lincoln, Nebraska. Whether it is moving survivors’ belongings from their previous home into storage while they are in shelter or moving them into a new home away from their abusive partners, TWO MEN AND A TRUCK® offers what Friendship Home staff describe as a “unique and invaluable confidential service” to survivors in their program. Julie Havener, Counselor and Strengths-Centered Advocacy Coordinator with Friendship Home explains:

“When survivors take the courageous step to reach out for help in finding safe shelter, there are already so many things they have to leave behind – the place they called home, their neighborhood, everything that was familiar to them. When it is safe to do so, our partnership with TWO MEN AND A TRUCK® allows survivors to keep their belongings rather than have to lose those too.”

Partnerships between moving companies and domestic violence programs are filled with potential. For many survivors, having access to free packing, moving and storage services may be their only viable option for safely relocating without losing their treasured belongings. For advocates, these partnerships represent an opportunity for expanding strategic collaborations with non-traditional partners to fill service gaps when resources are scarce. For moving companies and community members, such collaboration provides individuals and local businesses with a unique avenue for assisting survivors of domestic violence and getting actively involved in creating safer communities.

Considerations for Successful Partnerships

Connecting survivors with free moving/relocation services may prove to be an invaluable component within a broader array of trauma-informed services that are offered to those fleeing abusive homes. However, it is critical that these services be provided in partnership with and under the guidance of domestic violence programs. Moving companies and volunteer movers need adequate training to ensure that the experience is as safe as possible for both survivors and volunteers, and that survivors are connected with the support they need beyond moving day. Within a trauma-informed approach, safety relates to survivors’ physical as well as emotional well-being, and services should be offered in an inclusive, welcoming, destigmatizing, and non-retraumatizing environment (NCDVTMH, 2011).

When moving services are offered in partnership with domestic violence programs, victim advocates can play a key role in ensuring that services are delivered in a trauma-informed and empowering way. In addition to providing comprehensive training to volunteers, local domestic violence programs are also best positioned to screen requests for help, protect victims’ private information throughout the process and provide safety planning assistance before, during and after the move. “While leaving and relocating can be significant steps for women in changing the power dynamics of an abusive relationship, women are still in need of protection from their abusers and assistance from various informal and formal support systems following separation” (Crisafi & Jasinski, 2015, p. 989).

“I have been trying to find an agency that can help us to escape the area where we are not safe. I would like any information you can help me with regarding flight assistance.” –Renee* (survivor reaching out to NRCDV)

These considerations can also be applied to other creative collaborations that advocates may explore in order to address the breadth of survivors’ relocation needs, including but not limited to partnerships with hotels, rental car companies, rideshare services (see example of partnership with Lyft), as well as aviation charities that provide free air transportation to individuals and families in crisis (see, for example, Angel Flight West and Air Charity Network). Fortunately, resources are available to enhance advocates’ skills and mindset for successful collaborations and for engaging new or nontraditional partners. In developing and sustaining relationships with moving companies and other new partners, advocates must find and build common ground and a shared sense of purpose. And, often, this involves building bridges and making connections where none existed before.

#VAWnet #news #new

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the-record-columns · 7 years

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Oct. 11, 2017: Columns

Charles Gilliam, a gentleman

By KEN WELBORN

Record Publisher

On the front page of this edition of “The Record” there is a photograph of Mr. Charles Gilliam, who, along with his daughter, Jan, visited our offices during the Apple Festival on Saturday.

Our connection with Mr. Gilliam goes back several years when he made a random visit to The Record and it was as though a huge library of information had just opened its doors to me.

Mr. Gilliam, the long time owner of the Ronda Hardware store, told me that he had retired and that the window displays in our offices caught his eye. In no time it was obvious that this man knew more about my old stuff than I did, and from there we had one of the most pleasant and educational visits ever.

In addition to discussing the items of history on display here, we soon realized that we knew some of the same people. One of Mr. Gilliam's favorite people turned out to be none other than the late Ray Stroud, the president of the Wilkes Savings and Loan Association in Wilkesboro. He referred to Mr. Stroud as a great kid and a great adult who was very appreciative for the opportunities he had been afforded, and was glad and thankful to be able to be in a position to give back to others. I told Mr. Gilliam my own story about buying my first home in the early 1970’s and my dealings with Ray Stroud, and the loan I had applied for. When he found that I didn't have a job, he threw his pencil in the air and assured me I was going to have to find one to get a home loan. It is a long story, but the short version is that he got me in touch with Paul Cashion, who hired me to work at his sheet metal shop, later gave me a job at his radio station, and even helped me begin Thursday Magazine, predecessor to The Record.

So, in effect, Ray Stroud is why I have the job I have to this day.

We swapped stories for a good while that day and I was truly sad to see Mr. Gilliam leave.

However, it wasn't too many weeks until he stopped by again. This time, he laughed and said he didn't have all day, but that he had noticed something on his previous visit that caught his eye. He was referring to a black and white porcelain sales display for Black-Draught (pronounced drohft), a vegetable laxative which has been around since 1840. An interesting aside, a young Dolly Parton sang a jingle for the laxative which included the line “Black Draught makes you smile from the inside out.”

Honest.

At any rate, if you look again at the photo on the front page, you can see the display in question. Looking closer you can see it still has three individual doses of Black Draught “for sale” at the bottom. The customer would pull one out and the others would drop down for the next customer. Many, many years ago, they sold for 20 cents each, not a small amount of money for the time. Mr. Charles Gilliam gave me those three packages to put in display on the occasion of his second visit. “Makes it look complete, doesn't it.” he said with a smile.

Mr. Gilliam's daughter, Jan, told me on Saturday that her dad wanted to make sure he made it to The Record if he didn't make it anywhere else. I took that as a great compliment and assured them they were as welcome as a summer breeze, and we truly had a great time reminiscing and reliving the days when things were slower and we all knew everybody in town. He tried to apologize for taking up so much time and I assured him that clearly, my time was his time, as long as he chose to stay. My mind kept going back to his wonderful comment on his initial visit to “The Record” years ago, “Like being in my old store again.”

Always the gentleman, there is just no downside to a man like Charles Gilliam. My only complaint about him is that I haven't had the pleasure of knowing him all my life.

Good versus Evil

By LAURA WELBORN

We all can be either good or evil.

Case in point, the recent Las Vegas shootings.

There does not seem to be any answers as to why someone would do something so horrific. Maybe we all have the potential for evil. Maybe when we don’t judge others and include them in our community we bring forth the good that lives in us all. I truly believe there is no excuse for bad behavior but I will be more aware of others in everyday situations to not be judgmental and to be inclusive with my body language and words.

Acknowledging people with a smile, watching for signs of distress can be a way of not judging and including them in our community. I am not saying we can stop evil but maybe we can tip the scales towards good. How often do we get so absorbed in our own world that we don’t look up and see the people around us? How often do we lend a helping hand? Say a kind word? I do believe it is part of mindfulness and intentional living within a community that cares has the ability to combat evil. So how do we stop our own rage and stress?

The first step is to stop judging others, even the most difficult ones- that means not to label people but to look towards the good and bring that out.

Knowing what our own hot buttons and prejudices are goes a long way to not letting others trigger our behavior. Thubten Chodron writes in working with Anger that our buttons are our responsibility. Mindfulness self-analysis can help us be prepared to recognize our own triggers of judgement and anger so that we can stay in our “good” zone. It makes me wonder what this Steven Paddock person had that triggered such a violent reaction and how does one go from being annoyed to violence? The quote from a Buddhist teacher “Someone tells you to go to hell and you are foolish enough to go there?” is a good reality check to responsive anger. Pausing and not having an immediate response is a way to stop anger and escalation of conflict. The RAIN technique developed by Michelle McDonald to let go of stress so that we don’t over react to conflict:

R- Recognize what is happening. This is particularly important to recognize what we are feeling and how our bodies are reacting. This keeps us from directing blame and judging immediately what we perceive as the problem.

A: Accept it as it is. Allow it to happen and acknowledge the truth of what is happening without judging it, trying to push it away or trying to control it.

I: investigate with attention. What emotions are you experiencing? Are these emotions helping you let go of the stress or bringing up more unpleasant emotions and painful feelings? This step is important to recognize what it is that you need to let go of the emotion that is causing you distress. The next part of this step is to give yourself what it is you need in order to let go- this could be feeling love, friendship, acceptance to the part of you this is hurting.

N- Non- Identification. Part of recognizing, accepting and investigating is understanding it is not you, it doesn’t define you. It is like a passing cloud that you can watch without response and stay in a calm peaceful place.

Mc Donald’s book “Mindful driving” is about the RAIN technique that was inspired when she observed taxi drivers in traffic and felt that there was a lot of stress around time. Its all about what “trips our trigger” to rage and stress. Maybe if more of us use it there will be less rage or evil in our world. We can only hope.

Laura Welborn, Mediator and Counselor

Radical Islamic Ideology--a plague against humanity

By EARL COX

Special to The Record

In 2004, an alert Maryland police officer saw an Islamic woman in an SUV videotaping a bridge’s support structures. He arrested the driver, Ismail Elbarasse—a Hamas and Muslim Brotherhood operative. An FBI raid on Elbarasse's home unearthed a trove of Islamic doctrinal books and key Muslim Brotherhood documents—which became evidence in the largest terrorism-financing trial in U.S. history.

Islam’s books are “the real bomb,” Muslim reformer Islam al-Behery said. Its ideology is “its blueprint” for world domination. A document from the Elbarasse raid outlines the Muslim Brotherhood’s phased plan to destroy Western civilization from within:

Phase One: Secret establishment of leadership.

Phase Two: Gradual public profile by infiltrating government, the judiciary, finance,

intelligence, police, prisons, military, education and religious institutions.

Phase Three: Escalation prior to conflict and confrontation with rulers using mass media.

Phase Four: Publically confront the government using political pressure. Weapons training

domestically and overseas in anticipation of zero-hour.

Phase Five: Seize power to establish the Islamic state.

Other documents outline the plan to replace the U.S. Constitution with sharia (Islamic law). Sharia is based on the Quran and other Islamic writings. Moderates see it a spiritual struggle, or outwardly observe it for fear of reprisal. But for radicals, sharia is the legal and political foundation for jihad and global rule, a power play to force Islam on the world. The D.C.-based Center for Security Policy calls it a “totalitarian ideology” controlling all legal, political, military, economic and social life. No other laws or governments may coexist with sharia. It’s primarily political, not religious; though in America it masks itself as a religion to manipulate the First Amendment as a front for seditious activity.

The Quran requires all Muslims to wage jihad (holy war) against infidels (non-Muslims). Jihad calls for multiple stages and platforms—violent and pre-violent. An Elbarasse memorandum calls the pre-violent “settlement process” in North America “civilization jihad” to destroy the Western way of life. In jihad’s final, violent stage, non-Muslims convert or die. Though jihad is obvious in North America and Europe, it’s not limited to the West.

The phased plan is a template for radical Muslim subjugation. Indonesia, a secular, mostly moderate Muslim-majority democracy, is a case in point. Its motto, “Unity in Diversity” reflects its six religions and 300 ethnicities. Though religious parties’ gains in national elections have been paltry, locally elected lslamists passed more than 400 sharia ordinances, according to economist.com. Christian incumbent Basuki Tjahaja “Ahok” Purnama lost a recent governor’s race when radical Islamists told Muslim voters that Islam forbids voting for Christians. A video of Ahok’s rebuttal was edited to appear he was insulting the Quran. Charged with blasphemy, he lost the election and was sentenced to jail.

Ahok’s conviction—accompanied by violent rallies and death threats--shows the chilling influence on pluralism by “hardline Islamism that the government and judiciary are reluctant to oppose,” said Time reporter Nicola Smith. In Indonesia, radical Islamists have advanced their plan for global dominance to Phase Four.

Then there’s Iran, whose visceral anti-Semitism and poisonous Ideology infuses jihad and sharia, but with a twist. The late Ayatollah Khomeini, and his successor, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, sidestepped Shi’a belief that the Mahdi (12th Imam), a quasi-messianic figure, must return before waging jihad, and adopted an ideology promoting a senior Shiite cleric to theocratic political power over Shiites worldwide. Khomeini offered himself as successor to the 12 Imams, thus “inherit[ing] the mantle of leadership directly from Muhammad,” said expert Clare Lopez.

Khomeini inserted his doctrine into the 1989 constitution, in which the regime’s objective is global conquest under sharia rule and nuclear dominance is a surefire path to achieve that goal.

Iran and its proxies not only menace Israel’s existence and portend regional upheaval; the “bomb” of Islamist ideology threatens the lives and freedoms of every sovereign nation in the world.

Pass the pinto beans please

By Carl White

Have you ever walked into the kitchen and been taken over with the smells of a pot of pinto beans on the stove and golden-brown cornbread just coming out of the oven?

Maybe it’s a memory from the past or it happened a few days ago. For me, it’s both! Growing up around great cooks, it occurred often. I realize that people eat beans around the world; however, I believe that we have our own culinary and hospitality twist in the south.

The perfect bean recipe is important, the right high oven temperature is important for the cornbread and then the special additions must be considered. Chopped onions are a common garnish for the top of your beans and having the right Chow Chow relish can make all the difference in the world. There are many recipes and over time, if you are lucky enough to try several, you will settle on a favorite.

Fall get togethers often feature food, I was recently invited to attend Ken and Laura Welborn’s annual gathering before the Brushy Mountain Apple Festival. Pinto beans are the featured entrée. Laura follows a more traditional recipe that includes the addition of a ham hock for added flavor.

Cornbread was prepared three different ways and there were at least three Chow Chow relishes available. Without a doubt the best Chow Chow was made and brought by Margie Roberts. She said she mixed grated cabbage, onions, green, red and yellow sweet peppers with a small hot pepper, “just enough hot to let you think it might be there.” Then add a little salt, sugar and white vinegar and when it’s all stirred together, put it in a half gallon mason jar and refrigerate, no heat required. It will last up to three months, that is if you don’t eat it all in the first week.

Someone brought Sorghum Cane Molasses which was tasty on a piece of cornbread. Someone else brought Molasses Cookies which are heavy in texture and have a chewy taste from the past that makes you want to travel back in time. The conversations were pleasant and everyone seemed to have a great time. We did not have steak, hamburgers, hotdogs or lobster. We enjoyed the humble and gracious Pinto Bean. Southern hospitality at its best.

On Sunday, I was at a covered dish family gathering. There were all sorts of fine looking food that I knew very well was going to taste great. A few people were running a little late due to the distance of their drive. But when they arrived and opened the back of their SUV a large crock pot was retrieved. It was carried in such a way that you knew it was still hot. As they got closer to the table to set down their covered dish, one of the guests said, “I know what that is, it’s Pinto Beans and that’s my favorite.” Well sure enough she was right. A big hot pot of pinto beans and a large tray of cornbread.

It was a fine gathering! It was good to see everyone and there is always some food left over in case you want to take something home; however, the pinto beans were all eaten. There were a few conversations about memories of pinto beans and the good old days.

Well, for me, this week has joined the list of the good old days. A week that I witnessed the power of southern hospitality brought to life by a rehydrated bean and the value of companionship.

Pass the Pinto Beans and please don’t forget the Chow Chow.

Carl White is the executive producer and host of the award-winning syndicated TV show Carl White’s Life In the Carolinas. The weekly show is now in its eighth year of syndication and can be seen in the Charlotte viewing market on WJZY Fox 46 Saturday’s at 12:00 noon. For more on the show, visit www.lifeinthecarolinas.com or you can email Carl White at [email protected].

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