#think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all.

[sheilaerinniperonista]

it was a small passing comment in the story but when its mentioned Sheila saw her dog get beaten to death when she was a kid and it made her feel like humankind was just like that (+ her sister's murder afterwards cementing that worldview)... augh.

#fugo.txt #like. idk i feel like im repeating myself but i cant stress this shit enough man. she was just a little girl #she was like 10 #damn. #and like by that point she had already very much gone thru a lot of death. her parents were gone and the only family she had was her sister #and the only friend she had was her dog. #and then they both died. and she saw them die. right after the other. and then she was completely alone #idk looking at it thru that lense its not surprising at all that she decided to do all that. she was grieving and she didn't have anyone- #-to guide her in that. and the only logical progression she could fathom is that whoever killed her sister should suffer the same. #and deep down she knows she's doing this for herself because she doesn't KNOW what else to do. and she feels guilty. what would clara even- #think of her? and even if she's all oh illuso is dead and he suffered. so she can rest easy. you can SEE she never got any closure at all. #thats why she froze up when fighting against kocaqi. his sister also died right in front of him. but he did what she couldnt do #he gave her peace of mind. he gave her a dignified death. she died happy. clara didnt. and sheila can NEVER give that to her #all she can do is posthumously give her peace by murdering her murderer. but would Clara want that? #ugh man. its 2:30 am i should be sleeping i have a class to retake at 11:50 #but. man.. #please take the time to think of her tjis december

[jojo-ocs-and-stuff]

Firsts

I was waiting for the beginning of the La Squadra Week 2019 to finally open my Jojo Blog! As you will see, La Squadra boys are my favorites, so I want to start the blog with this special week! First day belongs to our beloved cheese man, Formaggio!

This idea struck me since I saw the prompt list, and I write without much correcting because I’m out of internet in my house, so I don’t have much time to stop and write the way I want it, but I hope you guys like it!

The first time the young Formaggio realized something is off in his family, was in his earlies 6. His father arrived the house with a green bottle of a liquid he didn’t recognized. His father was so unusually angry that Formaggio didn’t find the courage to welcome his as he always do. His mother told him to take his younger sisters to their room, and Formaggio did as she said... But he can’t countain his curiosity, and a deep and sharp feeling of fear he never felt before. He told his sister to stay in the room while he will look what was happening. After a solid minute trying to convince them, he slowly left their shared room. The room of his parents are a little far from his and his sisters’, just enough so any sound coming from one place will not bother the other. So, when Formaggio can hear a sound, voices, his younger and innocent mind can’t understand what was happening, and so he felt... Scared. Are his parents shouting? They never shout before. He walked slowly, don’t wanting to see what’s wrong anymore, but he said he will to his sisters. He promised, and it’s bad to broke a promise, so he kept walking. When he finally saw his parents room, the first image that comes to him was his mother, a big, red spot in her face. Formaggio’s throat never feel so dry before. - Mom? Are you hurt? Hearing him, his mother stormed in the door direction, a face so distorted with angry that Formaggio, for a moment, believed she was not his mother. - I say to stay with your sister, your bastard! Do as I say! - She shouted, closing the door with such strength that the floor trembled. Formaggio didn’t understand. What is happening? Why is his mother so mad? What was that red spot in her face? His infant mind can’t get anything. He’s just scared, and have no idea of what to do. He can feel his legs trembling and tears coming in his eyes, but he breathed slowly, wiped his tears and started to walk back to his and his sisters’ room. He’s the only boy in the house, he need to stay with them and reasure them, even if he don’t know from what. Back in the room, seeing his palid face and red eyes, none of his sisters asked what happened, and he was grateful for it. The first time Formaggio isn’t fair, was in his earlies 10. The fights between his parents get worse and worse with the time. He finally understand that his father, since that night, started to arrive the house with beer, and drunk. His mother then start to shout at him, and they start to scream at each other for the night. Formaggio stopped to welcome his father, and as soon he arrive, he get his sisters as fast as he can and take them to their shared room. Here, he put some music in a old radio and start to try to distract them. Sometimes, though, their parents yelling are too loud, and can be heard through the door. If any of his sisters try to ask, he changed the subject. He don’t want to talk about it, he don’t want to remember his mother enraged face. It make him want to cry, and he can’t cry. He need to be strong and reasure his sisters. When, in the firsts, rarests times he tried to stop his parents, defending his mother, but frozing the secong he saw his father hit her, he was the one the yeeling was focused. - Stay fucking away of this, you ugly bastard! Get out of my face! - His mother always shouted at him, and slapped his face. Formaggio was so shoked that he don’t even know how to react, what to think. He just runned to the street, fond a isolate place and cried alone. None of his sister suffered the same. None of them was yelled, slapped, that was just him. That was the first time Formaggio also felt envy and resentful of his sisters. The first time Formaggio felt alone, was when he understood that he was the problem. It happened right after one of his parents fights. This day, however, he didn’t do anything to bring his mother rage, and she yelled at him nonetheless. He put his sisters in their room, and said he will buy some candies for them. He hide in his usual place, fighting the tears, to finally go to the closest bakery to buy something sweet. When he was close, he can hear his mother’s yells from inside the house. - It’s all you fault! - She cried angrily - Why do fuck did you just take that boy?! He’s the son of a fucking slut! - Formaggio have nothing to do with it! - his father screamed back - The boy never did anything! - He’s the proof you cheated me! he doesn’t belong to this family and I HATE HIM! Formaggio didn’t bring the sweets to his sisters. He didn’t even sleep in his home that day. He hide in his safe place, and never cried more in his life. He was just in his 13. The first time Formaggio decided that he hate his parents, was in his 15 years. His mother leave, taking his sisters with him. Without her, he had some hope that his life will be easier. He can’t be more wrong. His father stopped to work, his drinking habits has increased. His father now blame him for his mother leaving, and started to hit him. His house now is a hell, and he hate it. - It’s all your fault! Why didn’t I asked for her to make a abort?! I have the money in the time! You’re just a curse in my life! At first, Formaggio do as he always do, he run to his safe place and cried. Until, one day, he just... Don’t cared anymore. His father’s words didn’t hurt anymore. He just felt... Numb, empty. The first time Formaggio decided he had enough, he was just completed his 17 years. He still have his father, but the streets are his home. It was the street how give him a place to hide, a place where he feels safe, a place where he can cry safely out of anyone’s eyes, a place where he can be strong and became stronger. It happened in one cold morning. His father was wasted. Formaggio can’t even understand how he can still stand. His father had grabbed his neck, and started to choke him. - You’re just garbage! I should have killed you when you was a ugly little gremlin! The usual numbness cracked. Formaggio feel again, and so strongely that tears start to come. Hurtful, angry tears. He never feel the hate for his father so intensely, his words never hurt like that. Formaggio hate this man so much! He just want to end this! For the first time, Formaggio reacted. For the first time, he punched his father. His father fall the stairs. He can heard the sound of something breaking. Bones breaking. Formaggio just give a fast, brief look to his father’s dead body bofere he leave the house and never coming back. The first time Formaggio reacted, was the first time he killed. - Ha! I wasn’t expecting better of a useless Stand like yours! - Ah, shut the fuck up! Then make better, you stupid mirror freak! - CAN YOU TWO STUPID ASSES SHUT UP?! - If none of your loud idiots shut up I will put so much pepper in your food that you willnot be able to talk for a week! - Hii! Fratello, stay calm! I can’t stand much pepper! - Calm down, Pesci. He’s not counting you in this. From his place in the couch, Formaggio looked everyone in the living room. Ghiaccio has trying to concentrate in his work in the laptop, failing and getting angry at anyone how dared to cause his distraction. Illuso, after stopping to talk shit about Little Feet, redirected his attention to the poker he was playing with Melone and Pesci (Formaggio hold a snort after see that Illuso angry face. He was probably losing). Prosciutto and Sorbet are in the kitchen, making dinner. Gelato was also in the kitchen, but looks like he was baking the dessert. Risotto, in the other side of the couch, looking at some papers. It was the first time the feel in a family again. Messy, chaotic, but a family nonetheless.

Bonus: - Formaggio. Lifting his eyes up from the magazine he was looking, looked the form of the smaller woman in front of him. She was carring a little dish with some kinda of meat. Her expression was blanked, like always, but Formaggio give her a welcoming smile. - Hey, Pecora! What’s up! Colombina, the woman, looked at the floor for a moment, then redirect her eyes to him again. Formaggio learned that’s how she show her subtle embarrassment. - I tried to cook meat for the first time... And I want you to be the first one to taste it. Did you mind? - Oh! - He can’t hold a big and excited smile - Really? Of course I don’t mind, but why me? - Well... - She looked at the floor again, this time lasting a little more before finally look at him - I considere you a close friend, so I wanted you to be the first. - Her voice was monotone, like always, but Formaggio learned how to perceive her subtle insecurity. Formaggio, in other hand, show perfectly what he was feeling. His excited face now was more soft, and he smiles warmly to her. He feel warm inside. - Of course, Bina! - He motioned to her to sit at his side, which she obliged - But let’s share. Food is much better when we eat together, right! Colombina didn’t smile, She rarely do, but Formaggio can see her eyes shining and her expression warmned. That was the first time Formaggio realized he have a close friend.

#lasquadraweek2019 #first day #formaggio #feels #why did i write this #give formaggio love #oc in bonus #because i'm a sucker for maggio and bina friendship #i love them #best friendship #fight me