#thinking abt if i should just start answering all the hate dms/anons i get tho | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

alexiaugustin · 3 years

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Hey, I’m just curious cause I’m never considered it before and I don’t want to be casually biphobic! Your Adam Blue post has me thinking. If a ship between a man and a woman where only one of them is bi/pan/queer is not called a straight ship, what are they called? Are they called a queer ship? I understand a bi man and bi woman dating aren’t the same as a cishet man and cishet woman, cause unlike them they experience discrimination and biphobia and homophobia too, but a bi man and a straight woman? Is that a queer couple? Cause that’d technically mean Tiff and Max are also not a straight ship since only one of them’s cishet? I know Max being trans impacts them cause they don’t have the same privileges as two cishet people, but should we call Max and Tiff queer then? Or at least not straight? I don’t know who Adam and Blue are, I follow for Skam stuff so that’s why I’m talking about them, and I don’t want to be biphobic accidentally. Hope you understand what I mean 😅😅 I only recently realized I wasn’t straight so I’m still learning ❤️

hey anon, thank you for asking so respectfully and yeah i definitely understand what you mean!!💓

first of all to answer your question about tiff and max; as far as we know both of them are straight and are only attracted to members of the opposite gender which means that they're a straight couple. however, they're not a cishet couple as the term cishet takes both sexuality and gender identity into account and max is trans and not cis gendered so as you rightfully pointed out their relationship is not the same as the relationship of two cis gendered people. (also the term queer does include trans people/ gender identities but im not sure if it's that commonly used? as im cis gendered myself i really don't want to speak over trans people here so everyone feel free to add on to this post and/or correct me)

about m/f couples where one or both partners are bisexual to be completely honest until you sent this ask i had never even checked if there's a term other than either calling those relationships 'gay' or 'straight' relationships so i just did and you could actually just call it a 'mixed-orientation relationship' tho (obviously lol) i've never used that term myself. i guess the reason why i find it way more problematic to call these relationships 'striaght' relationships is because it a) plays into the false belief that bisexual people pick a side when they get into a relationship and are either gay or straight depending on whom they are in a relationship with and it just erases their identity and b) indicates that oppression for bisexual people starts and ends with a relationship. it's obviously super stupid to assume that being in a m/f relationship means that bisexual individuals are suddenly not opressed anymore and don't face biphobia and/or homophobia anymore. I would really recommend reading this article on The Myth of Bisexual (and Straight-Passing") Privilege if you want to read more about this topic.

especially when we're talking about fictional couples i don't think that when we call a f/m relationship where one or two ppl are bisexual or mga queer that it takes much time to just explain that we're not talking abt a mlm or wlw relationship but that it doesn't make the representation any less good. if we're taking skamverse couples for an example the first one i can think of is alexia/arthur where alexia's identity as a bisexual women definitely wasn't suddenly erased just because she was in a relationship with a man and it even was part of their conversations so as a bi women i still felt very much represented by alexia, positively as well as her struggles when for instance in s3 her boyfriend (forgot his name lol) asked her if she was up for a threesome or when Arthur outed her without her consent to his parents in s5. (apart from that i absolutely hated how alexia was treated in both of her relationships and definitely don't wanna praise these writers for shit- they very clear hated her).

irl i would honestly just ask people what they are the most comfortable with, i know bi women who are in relationships with men who refer to their relationships as straight so obviously im not speaking for all bi ppl here.

anyways, thank u a lot for your ask i really liked spending some time thinking abt all of this and im so happy for you that you recently found out that you're not straight- if you have any other questions my inbox and dms are always open💓

#ask #bi tag

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