#this also kind of reminded me of ted lasso but this time its not brainrot its for valid reasons

[mrgaretcarter]

My experience with Aftersun (2022)

One of my best friends watched this a few days ago and was really excited about it and excited for me to check it out, which always makes me a bit nervous because I don’t like to disappoint, but it turned out there was nothing to worry about here, I really enjoyed the movie and was surprised by how close to home it felt.

Before I get into the main event I wanted to just jot down some smaller things I loved. First off the fact that Sophie’s parents say “I love you”  to each other still, despite being separated, and his explanation to her about why that is. I also really enjoyed the focus on Sophie experiencing and observing people being physically affectionate in a romantic context, and the underlying theme of her mind opening up to that side of life throughout this trip, including the fact that the last and most drawn out instance of this is her watching two men kissing after only seeing heterosexual couples throughout the rest of the movie, which went nicely with the later reveal that adult Sophie has a wife and daughter.

Alright, now onto the thing the movie is mostly about.

The way Sophie dresses and acts and the circumstances of the vacation read as very familiar to me, the whole thing had almost this flashback quality from my perspective, and Sophie’s relationship with her dad really reminded me of my dad and I as well. The closeness, the gentleness, down to the scene where he is teaching her how to get away from an attacker and she’s not taking it very seriously and he’s trying to make her understand this is important, I swear I’ve lived through an almost identical version of that.

Another thing that felt familiar was the physicality between them. I think in general stories about the relationship between a parent and a child tend to emphasize touch more when it involves mothers, however, my experience with my parents was very balanced, and my dad took very close care of me. It was emotional to see that closeness onscreen, not only in affectionate touches, like Calum carrying Sophie around, or the way she hangs off him constantly (which I also did a lot with my dad - and still do!), but in utilitarian ones too, like the scene where Calum takes Sophie’s shoes off, or applies sunscreen to her back.

To build on that, the sheer fact that he was attuned to her schedule and committed to deliberately caring for her, not just in the sense of providing, but of nurturing, and that he did so very naturally, was incredibly special, and I think reflects the current zeitgeist where we’re seeing more and more stories that challenge some of the archetypes of masculinity. I thought it was interesting that the movie itself brings up that dichotomy when it shows Calum’s frustration at not having more money to spend on Sophie and the pressure he feels around that.

The fact that their relationship was so loving though, only makes it all the more heartbreaking when you realize how much pain Calum is in and how lost he feels. Once it becomes clear where things are headed it’s apparent that he is saying goodbye to Sophie at every turn, with every gesture, and that he means all the love he feels for her really sincerely, and deeply regrets not being able to give her more of himself. He is constantly grieving the time they won’t have. The movie does a great job of showing how complex the situation is, and makes it nearly impossible to judge Calum because there is just not an ounce of anger in how it tells his story.

Considering this was based on the director’s real life, I think both the daughter inside the movie and the real one outside of it hold these memories and relay them in a way that serves as a testament to the man their father was; he did something that was deeply devastating for her and yet, the way she remembers him is completely coated in two things: empathy for his pain and the absolute certainty of his love for her.

The movie also reminded me of this post:

Anyway, the direction was great, the whole thing is shot beautifully and Paul Mescal and Frankie Corio give really wonderful performances.

#films 2023 #aftersun #i'll try to review all the movies i see this year #i think it'll be good for me to use my brain a bit #this also kind of reminded me of ted lasso but this time its not brainrot its for valid reasons