#this is suposed to be a happy moment 👍

[conanssummerchild]

i am feeling so depressed rn but at least im writing good music

#these past five days have been like me slipping back into my old shit #i feel physically sick every second #but at least im writing a sad anxiety and abandonment issues song about my friend eventually getting sick of and leaving !! <3 #that i didnt want to write bcs it felt like a bad omen and i was going to get too in my head #well now i am in my head write away you stupid loser idiot i hate myself #everyone else hates me no one will stay ‼️‼️ #my therapist cant meet this week ‼️‼️🗣 #i need to study for my english gcse but i cant make myself get up and do anything 👍👍🗣 #im going to the eras tour in like 2 weeks but i want to die ‼️‼️ #this is suposed to be a happy moment 👍 #i know im spiraling #i catastrophise too fast everything will be okay #but it doesnt feel like it #the eras tour was my deadline for suicide before but i was doing better there for a moment #but not anymore #alex says shit #tw vent #tw sui ideation