#this is v stream of conscious like. this isnt anything super serious. 5am is not a time for serious lol

[snickerdoodlles]

having a lot of thoughts right now at 4am about chay being ruthless

there’s a specific animorphs quote i’m thinking of:

"People don't understand the word ruthless. They think it means 'mean.' It's not about being mean. It's about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. The line that goes from motive to means. Beginning to end. It's about seeing that bright, clear line and not caring about anything but the beautiful fact that you can see the solution. Not caring about anything else but the perfection of it." — Marco, The Reunion by K.A. Applegate 

specifically the bit: It's about seeing the bright, clear line that leads from A to B. 

now, i dont think chay from season 1 is ruthless. but i very much see him as having the makings of it. chay has a very simple and direct approach to things; he sees something he wants, so he pursues it (he asks his idol for lessons their first meeting, he doesn’t let kim skip out on tutor lessons, he confesses twice because he had a homework goal and then a personal goal, he wants the truth so he confronts kim that same day, etc). and we see this theme of ‘chay has a goal, chay pursues goal’ most often with kim because they specifically foil each other in this. kim has a grand speech about making sacrifices to achieve your goals, but he’s stagnant between the world he was borne into and cant fully leave because of his brothers, vs the soft bright world he wants to be in but cant because he comes bearing blood. this directly contrasts with chay, who pursues his goals fullheartedly and recklessly

now, chay's not ruthless. not...yet. but there’s also these little...hints of a ruthlessly practical mindset to him. the most standout point for me in this regard was episode 1 when porsche is worried about his uncle. he’s sent arthee away, but he’s still planning “how do i get uncle out of trouble, and how do i maximize it?”

but chay? chay’s straight up like “uncle’s problems aren’t ours, lets just runaway to go live your dream of owning a bar on the beach”

i love this scene between porsche and chay so much. not only is really heartwarming, but i think it rly solidifies who they are as characters right off the bat. porsche is a caretaker. he takes care of everyone around him, whether he has an obligation to or not. but chay is fully ready to just leave their uncle behind. uncle interferes with brother’s and mine’s future plans? then no uncle in future plans. chay doesn’t even seem to mourn nor care that his uncle, one of his two caretakers left, is just gone from his life after ep1. like...that’s a really cold assessment for a teenager to make about one of his two living family members (that he knows of)

for me, what holds chay back from tipping into any sort of ruthless so far is mostly his naivety. not innocence (chay is not innocent yes i am still fighting on this hill), but he has certain expectations of the world that don’t necessarily match what the world is. to me, this shows most clearly when he sees warning flags (”...how do you know i have a brother?”) but is fully willing to ignore them in favor of pursuing his original goal(s) instead of taking the warning flags into account. and since he doesn’t plan for them, when some of those flags grow into actual problems, they really trip him up in ways he’s not prepared to handle. but he doesn’t have that any more at the end of season 1

if we do get a second season, i would be v curious to see where chay’s character develops. im apparently the outlier lol, but i actually really love where kim and chay ended in s1. they were on a trajectory to crash in the middle and instead they missed and landed where the other started. kim, the kid running away from the things he’s always wanted, puts himself out there with zero expectation or surety that chay will reach back. chay lingers over the video, unsure if he wants to respond to it or block it, so he throws his phone away to deal with it another time. and it’d just be really interesting to see how these two characters would react following the same trajectory the other one originally did, but coming at it with a very different background/development. and for chay specifically, i would just rly love to see how his ep1 “lets just abandon uncle to the debtors and go live our dreams on a beach” hints might come back/come into play in a mafia world setting

#this is v stream of conscious like. this isnt anything super serious. 5am is not a time for serious lol #anyways. i have. thoughts. #didnt want to expand in the post bc this is SO very much thumb tacks and strings and headcanons but. i also want to see chay's ruthlessness #and how it might mirror/follow namphueng's ruthlessness specifically #my read on namphueng is that she's playing her own game. and whatever game she's playing for her survival. she did it knowing that she'd hav #*have to abandon her sons and that she cant/wont reveal anything to them right away #there's some fun ideas to play with there between porsche's phoenix symbolism and korn's chess bs #so i would rly love to see like. porsche v much takes after his dad in his caretaker and big heart traits #where as chay is v much namphueng's son and they have a bright clear line between point a and point b they'll pursue without hesitation #there's a fun playground in there between chay and korn but that probably interests me exclusively bc it relates to talk shit get hit series #lol ANYWAYS i personally would love for namphueng backstory and a namphueng backstory that includes her selling out her original family #specifically (i mean the family the theerapanukuls killed and took her from). then namphueng tried to get away from them #that would be v fun for me its the top of my s2 bucket list #btes if ive misspelled anything shhhhhhh its 5am ive been up since before 7am spelling isnt real #this isnt rly meant to be anything lol just. been keeping me up all night. oof. #kinnporsche #mine: kinnporsche #pls stop saying chays this weeping willow or doe-eyed bambi or innocent bean or whatever i am so tired lol #chay did not abandon his uncle to the wolves for this kind of slander lol #he did not sell himself like he was living a y/n fanfic for you to box him into innocent maiden tropes #he didnt push every step of his and kims brief relationship for yall to make kim the dom lmao #.......promise im done. this isnt a tag whine lol. its just like. idk. did yall forget the shit chay's pulled in canon #he's the same wavelength of insane as kim thats why they work #tag rambles #tag rambles: kinnporsche