#tism rizz TikTok sound plays in the background

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Growing up neurodivergent and asexual I was always told I was flirting when I was just trying to be friendly and the only reason learned the difference was that for a year and a half (Mormon mission) I was surrounded by various women who would always get on my case when I did something flirtatious so I eventually learned what it was by sheer pattern recognition.

I thought intense eye contact/laser focused listening, going way out of your way to spend time with someone, confiding in someone, remembering details about someone, being there to emotionally support someone, doing thoughtful things for someone, laughing at their jokes, expressing appreciation for them and hugging/other physical contact was just... How you be friends.

✨ apparently not ✨

#tism rizz #tism rizz TikTok sound plays in the background #my social mask is literally a pick me girl and it's so uncomfortable #i tried on personalities in my teens until i found one that got me some positive attention #it was all i wanted #like not to get sad on main but I was really lonely #it took 18 months of pattern recognition reinforcement for me to figure it out #but i will also say i haven't been able to figure out a consistent social personality since