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#like not to get sad on main but I was really lonely
pocket-size-cthulhu · 9 months
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Growing up neurodivergent and asexual I was always told I was flirting when I was just trying to be friendly and the only reason learned the difference was that for a year and a half (Mormon mission) I was surrounded by various women who would always get on my case when I did something flirtatious so I eventually learned what it was by sheer pattern recognition.
I thought intense eye contact/laser focused listening, going way out of your way to spend time with someone, confiding in someone, remembering details about someone, being there to emotionally support someone, doing thoughtful things for someone, laughing at their jokes, expressing appreciation for them and hugging/other physical contact was just... How you be friends.
✨ apparently not ✨
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ribbononline · 1 year
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& every time it's you
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arkiwii · 2 months
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very sad still see the saria/silence divorce headcanon still going around
have you ever tried to consider that they never dated before lone trail because it would be unrealistic with the timeline and the events and also because it would be overshadowing the actual truth of why they couldn't get along
#i'll elaborate#firstly it's ok if you headcanon this i don't want to invalidate what people think#it's just that I think it's a fanon joke that have been going around for way too long#and I can't help but shed a small tear when I see people really headcanoning it#I personally think it's way more interesting if we consider that they never had something going on before Lone Trail#mostly because it's weird that they started dating in like some months when they barely knew or saw each other#but also because it adds nothing but just makes things even more harder for them#my personal headcanon is that Silence was maybe having feelings for Saria but like#you know these very premature feelings#like just “oh wow she's pretty and nice”#but nothing like really deep#but they never had anything going on before the diabolic crisis#and after lone trail after they made up and saw each other's true person#they start to actually get real feelings#I'm just complaining but I've been still seeing it around somehow and it's sad to me that this joke became a fact for many people#there's still a lot of fanfics about how they had been dating and now they're on bad terms#I think that going on the “they're exes” route is way too easy and actually hides the potential and interesting reason#of why Silence was mad at Saria#it's not because she hates Saria or blame her#it's because she's mad at herself for being so weak#really making them appear as exes just hides this really interesting truth and makes it all seem to be a sad love story#consider that they never had any of this and that this tension between them is because they blame themselves!!#their story is not a love story but above all a story about self love and acceptance#just my two cents enjoy my rambling i go back to bed now#(not putting this in the main tag I don't want to start a war I'm just rambling)
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generationa1trauma · 6 days
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currently struggling w the concept that the community i so desperately want to be a part of relies heavily on talent and always involves some level of rejection through auditions
#my desire for just. community in general vs the undeniable fact that i am not really cut out for this#it does not matter how much i love theatre or performing bc love of the game is not enough#if u do not have the connections or a groundbreaking talent it just wont happen#and like. yeah there's crew and front of house and other ways to be involved but they just inevitably dont feel like part of it#because you come in days or hours before the show opens and these people have been together so much longer and have bonds formed#i am just. i do not have bonds formed in my real life w basically anyone. and its so difficult to form bonds as an adult#finding people who are open to new friendships is hard enough but by also being trans and autistic its just#its so hard meeting people as is but theres also the undeniable fact that a lot of people just wont accept me#and it sucks!! i just want friends!!!!#i just want. people who want to spend time with me and get to know me and put in effort#and i want a relationship but thats even harder than friendship really#not to sad post on main i may delete this but god i am just so lonely and me not being online is not because i have people#it just feels like everything is out of reach and its exhausting#it feels like ive missed out on core years of my life and im behind everyone and i don't know how to fix it#negative cw#god#anyway the show im watching is great everyone is talented but one girl did forget the words and go silent for a whole verse of her solo song
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siriuslynephilim · 2 months
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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harrowharkwife · 1 year
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having an ableist #Autism Mommy narcissist for a mother never gets less tiresome/hurtful/infuriating/disappointing/just plan embarrassing, huh?
#will delete later don't rb#im just. sick and fucking tired of getting my feelings hurt#this is why i don't talk about her and this is why i can't handle dwelling on how bad of a mother she is.#it always just ends with me crying and feeling like a pathetic and unwanted and embarrassed little freak#some part of me is stuck being the weird little middle school version of me#who constantly felt sad and jealous and just. sad. whenever i went to friends houses or heard them talk about their moms.#because all my friends moms loved them. and all my friends were best friends with their moms.#and i never got to have that. and i never will. and it makes me so fucking jealous and envious and furious and just. sad#is the word for it really. just sad.#your mom is the one person on earth who's supposed to love you no matter what. and you're bombarded with that message as a kid#so if your mom doesn't love you... what's wrong with you?#i know NOW that that's not how it actually works & that it's not my fault & that it's her problem not mine#but. sometimes one stupid text from her will still just derail my whole day and suddenly I'm 12 years old again.#it is such a lonely and isolating feeling growing up as a girl who isn't best friends with her mom.#some part of me is always going to want to grovel and bend over backwards and disregard all my own emotions just to feel like she loves me.#or hell even LIKES me!#and i know it's not a healthy instinct and its one i need to fight and ignore for my own good. but like.#i just want my mom. :( and i just want her to be proud of me and like spending time with me and care about how i feel.#i want to feel safe going to her for help with things. or even just a hug when I'm sad. but i don't get to have that. and it sucks.#yes i AM watching b*ck b*gins what about it. anyway. sorry for having mommy issues on main. gonna go dig a hole and die in it now#the eternal struggle between standing up for myself vs jumping thru the hoops required to make my mom give a shit about me
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chrisdr3 · 1 month
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"Ignorant" ~ OP81
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Fluff
Oscar x Introvert!Reader
Summary: Y/n gets hateful comments about her appearance and for being "ignorant", whilst Oscar tries to understand what's going on with her feelings.
You never really liked to talk much, you always were shy and tended to hide your emotions. You were more on the introverted side, like Oscar. When you were together, Oscar did most of the talking, especially when you were infront of fans, reporters and team members unknown to you.
That's the main reason the hate started. Most of it, at least. Every day, you were recieving hateful messages and comments on your social media. Everywhere you went, several fans that recognised you said things about you. Because of that, you started staying at home and you stopped posting stuff on your social. The worst part is that you distanced yourself slowly from relatives and friends.
At the last few races, you went on McLaren's hospitality from the back, avoiding fans as much as you could and avoided places of the garage that had cameras and media. You took your headset and hid in lonely corners or in Oscar's driver room, where nobody could reach you, and stayed there, sometimes crying and others just sitting and thinking. Feeling hideous and snub.
As the time passed, you started distancing yourself from Oscar slowly, thinking he hated you just like the "fans". He wasn't talking much either, so that's what you thought. You didn't really hug or cuddle him, you ate and showered alone, you spent hours locked up in your office room, reading books, and didn't sleep well at night, staring at the ceiling, trying not to cry. Long story short, you started avoiding him, too.
The fist days, Oscar thought you had to study for uni. Then a week passed and Oscar started to get worried. He wanted to help you, he wanted to talk to you, to find what's going on. He was cooking your favourite meals, bringing them to your door, tried to understand if you had a certain time of going out to shower, but you didn't.
One day, he checked your social media, just in case he found why were you acting like that. He checked them that same afternoon he came up with the idea and scrolled through your accounts, every comment he saw made him even angrier. He then posted something in response.
"I've repeatedly seen hateful actions and comments about Y/n and I want people to know that she's not ignorant or rude, she's an introverted person. So, I'm requesting from everyone to respect her. If there are still people out there, still hating on her through internet or irl, they'll stop being considered "fans" by me and will be reported. Thank you." That's what the post said.
He then waited till you got out to shower and stranded waiting in the doorframe if the closed bathroom door. When you got out, he moved infront of you and pulled you into a warm, bone crushing hug. "Why are you so distant lately, sweetheart?"
Tears escaped from your eyes, and you cried silently in Oscar's arms, staining his shirt with them. He didn't move, he rubbed your back gently. "That's it, let it out princess." You continued crying till you hadn't any more tears to shed, holding the towel around your body tightly, afraid it will fall.
Oscar cupped your face and kissed your forehead. "It's okay baby, I'm here for you." He whispered. "Talk to me, what took you away from me?" You looked at him, your face tear stained, sad. "Promise n-not to get angry?" You mumbled. "Of course, I can't get angry that easily, especially from you." He replied, caressing your hair.
You didn't leave his arms, snuggled in their warmth instead. "D-do you hate me?" You mumbled, looking at your feet. "Why would I hate you baby?" He responded, not getting his arms off you. "Because I'm"ignorant" and "rude" and "snub"." Oscar looked at you and smiled sadly. "It's the comments, huh?" You raised your head, a questioning expression in your face.
"I know about the hate you get. I saw it on your social and you don't know how many times I've heard "fans" talk to me or to other people about you when in races or downtown." He explained, ruffling yor hair. "Oh..."
"I'm here for you baby, I know you are shy and stuff but I believe in you. You can ignore them and you have the words to confront them." He smiled. "Can you try that? For me?" "I'll try..." You whispered. "Thanks, sweetheart." You kissed his cheek, adjusting your towel. Oscar noticed, he then grabbed your hand and led you to your shared bedroom. "Let's get you dressed, princess."
Taglist: @pinkswaet @dilemmaontwolegs @changetyre @thef1diary @f1driverszona
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angstyaches · 2 years
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bisexualclarkkent · 2 years
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It’s really sad to realize I’m about to be 34 years old and I really don’t have anyone who loves me lol
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muniimyg · 4 months
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10.5: love 》 series m.list
note: we made it !!! i am so incredibly grateful for everyone's love and support with c2u <3 meeting u all was so fun ,, answering ur asks and interacting thru comments truly made my day ! i'm glad i was able to share this silly goofy concept and have it well received . as usual ,, please lmk ur thots !!! i have 3 extras that will be posted soon (ie: their first hook up, a comfort scenario, and one final smut extra) so please look forward to those !!! thank u for ur patience ,, all the love 💗
warnings: sex tape vibes (kind of), pussy eating (nom nom), fucking LOL ... dirty talk & creampie! easy shit yk? lmaoo
taglist request: CLOSED
🏷️ permanent taglist: @joonsjuice @taetaecatboy @pb-n-juju @miss-rainy-days @firesighgirl @whoa-jo @vantxx95 @pamzn @kakixaku @casspirit0705 @tae165 @defzcl @sopebubbles @leefics @ggukkieland @bebebutbetter @yoongimentita7 @boraength @era-genius @4ksj @vampcharxter @miss-jupiter @floweryjeons @taegijns @jeonqkooks-main @ellesalazar
//
As much as Jungkook loves to play soccer for the glory, he loves it best alone. 
When the bleachers are empty and the field is wide and free—that’s when he feels the most love for his sport. To others, it comes off as lonely and sad but to him; it’s serenity. Sometimes, it’s the only place he feels like he can truly be himself. It’s a place where he doesn’t have to be anything to anyone. It’s a place where he can be lost and found at the same time. It’s also his go-to place when he can’t sleep. Jungkook hasn’t slept well in weeks. He figured it was time to be in his own space.
His haven. 
His favourite part has got to be when he plays so hard that he doesn’t even notice the world is waking up. The moment Jungkook looks up and sees the sunrise—he always gets this feeling in the pit of his stomach. It’s an easiness that can’t be explained.
It’s an incredible relief. 
When he sees the sun, he stops playing. He takes a break and sits down to watch the sun bloom on the horizon. There’s so much bliss in the stillness of the world. He feels so much clarity when it’s just him, the net, and the ball. It’s like nothing else matters and his mind can focus on one thing: winning.
Jungkook has only done these late-night sessions a handful of times in his life. 
The first time was the day before Uni tryouts and he doubted his talent. Everyone kept telling him he had nothing to worry about, but that didn’t make him feel any better. To Jungkook, his luck was just like everybody’s. He was afraid of it not coming through when he needed it the most. Therefore, he worked his ass off regardless of his luck history. 
Note: Jungkook was the first in his year to get in. 
The second time was when he fucked up at a game and cost his team a minor setback. It wasn’t the end of the world—he just felt like shit.
The third time was the day he redeemed himself and scored the winning goal that got the team to championships. It was the best game he had in a while. It was also the first time felt tired of it. Tired of the game, tired of the play… Just tired. 
The fourth time was when he decided to take a break from soccer and tend to his burnout… Eventually, he came back after a few months. Of course, he did. He loves soccer more than anything in the world…
That was until you.
He didn’t go back to the field and have a session to himself to celebrate. No, he celebrated with you instead. You didn’t know and he never told you… But that’s what he did. The first day he came back to soccer, he went to you right after. With you, he found rest. 
That’s when he realized something… 
He wasn’t tired anymore.
At least, whenever he was with you.
He wasn’t tired. That’s all he could really ask for, right? To fall in love with someone that was his safety net. 
The fifth time would be today. 
Jungkook has been out here since 3AM, kicking the ball and practicing drills. It upset him, to be honest. He thought being here would help ease his heart. Everything feels so clogged up and messy to him. It’s like no matter what he does to try to clean up his mess, everything stains. So, he thinks to himself that maybe if he ran enough laps or kicked the ball hard enough—it would stop.
The mess. 
The yearning.
The loving. 
But it doesn’t.
No, instead his heart continues to ache. As he clenches it every so often, he thinks of you. Then, for a second, his heart is still. In the stillness, he tries to think of good things around him. 
At least the rain wasn’t pouring as hard as it was an hour ago.
At least the sun is coming up and it’s a new day. 
At least you were here—
Wait. 
You’re here?
Jungkook rubs his eyes. Partly due to disbelief and partly because the rain made it hard to see you clearly. Yet, somehow… In his heart, he knows it. He knows it’s you. 
How’d you know where he was? More importantly, why are you here? 
Why was his heart racing so fast again? 
Be still. 
He isn’t sure of what to do. Should he wave? Should he call your name? Are you here on accident? 
Considering it’s almost 6AM… It can’t be an accident, right?
Just as much as Jungkook’s head begins to fill with questions, yours does too. As you walk closer and closer to him, you can’t help but only hear your heartbeat pound louder and louder. Is this normal? To feel like your heart could jump out of your chest if it meant getting to him faster? You let your mind spin. 
Why the fuck are you here? 
What are you doing again?
Did you write everything down?
You sure felt a lot braver ten minutes ago… Suddenly, seeing him has made you doubt all the courage you worked to have for this moment. At the same time, the complex feeling of pure happiness and relief blossoms. You can’t help but smile at the sight of him. There’s a stillness in the world and it’s only when you look at him and it’s good. You know that now… But oh my god. 
You’re about to lose your shit. 
How did you get here?
When did it all begin? 
Was it from the first night you two slept together? Or was it the karaoke night when you realized you were waiting for him to kiss you? Could it be time he fucked you in front of your mirror and you vowed to never drink coffee before meeting up with him ever again? 
… No. 
Maybe it was when Mina came along. 
You gave him a blowjob just to stall him from going (bad move, by the way. That was pretty bitchy). Oh, and we can’t forget about the time you craved him when you were drunk out of your mind and all he did was take care of you. Half asleep, you woke up to him mounting your mirror on the wall… And well, maybe…
Maybe it was then. 
When he fixed your mirror, he fixed your heart. 
That’s probably why the time you two hooked up in his bedroom at the party felt so right. It was finally clicking.
You were into him then.
You just didn’t know how to admit it. Then, it got fucked up because you were caught off guard. 
The perilla leaf.
The exile. 
The hate sex. 
Everything good and bad has led to this moment and you can’t help but feel like you’re falling apart. Finding the origin of it all feels exhausting… In your head, you debate it all. In your heart, you’ve always known. 
You see, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. 
The friendship, the sleeping with him, the hurting him—the loving him… It wasn’t supposed to do this to you. You aren’t supposed to be this nervous and so impatient at the same time. You aren’t supposed to feel this stupid either… 
But you do. 
… And that’s okay. 
Sometimes, with love, you’re going to feel a little stupid. You just have to cross your fingers and hope the person you’re being stupid for is just as stupid as you. 
In your case… There’s a good chance he is. 
As you stand on the sidelines, Jungkook places his hand over his eyes to see you clearer. He tilts his head in confusion as you drop your bag. 
Then, just like that…
It happens. 
His thoughts pause, his heart goes still for the nth time, and his world slows down as he takes in the sight of you. Nothing will ever be better than this. The same way he feels an ease when he watches the sunrise—he feels it as he looks at you right now. 
God, he loves you so much. 
He has known it for so long but this… You in this moment; it’s bliss. 
Complete and utter bliss. 
If that isn’t enough… His heart is completely undone the moment he realizes two things: one, you’re wearing his jersey, and two; you’re holding a towel in your arms for him. He can’t help but let a laugh escape his lips. All that shit you said about how you would never be a part of his fan club and how you could never be that girl…
Oh, this is gold. 
Honestly, it’s more than enough. For you to show up and make this effort—it fills his heart. Yet, you’re you. Always full of surprises and ways of making his heart go on overdrive. As he sinks in his thoughts and soaks this moment in; he watches you take a deep breath. Then, slowly but surely, you extend your hand out to him. 
It’s then when he knows it. 
The wait was worth it.
The wait is over.
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You and Jungkook sit on a bench, under the technical area’s cover. For a while, you two watch the sunrise in silence. Both too afraid to say anything to ruin the moment—both so undoubtedly in love. Once the sun is fully up, you brace yourself. 
This is it. 
Jungkook turns to you, chasing your eyes. 
“You nervous or something?” he jokes, as he begins to dry his hair with the towel you placed around his neck. 
“Yeah,” you confide. “Am I doing this right?”
Jungkook’s eyes widen as you scoot closer to him and take the towel. In your continued silence, you take over and start to dry his hair. Scrunching the towel, you pat dry his neck and cheeks. He gulps, unsure of what to do… He likes it though. He likes that you’re taking care of him and that you’re trying. He knows you are. 
As you pat dry him, you try to find your words. It takes a moment, but you think to yourself… It’s now or never, right? You’re already here. You’ve already folded. 
It catches Jungkook off guard when you suddenly tug him close. Putting the towel aside, you cup his cheeks with your hands. Your hands are cold, but he doesn’t mind. If anything, he’s holding himself back from kissing them. With a pout on your lips, you begin your confession. 
“I hate being your friend.” 
Jungkook squints at you and chuckles. He removes your hands from his cheeks, smirking at you. “What bullshit are you on now? Didn’t we agree on—”
“I never agreed,” your eyebrows knit together. “It’s been like… A day and a half and I’m going crazy being your stupid friend.”
“Fine,” he snaps. “Enemies?”
His suggestion annoys you.
You lift your hand to hit him, but he catches your wrist. Then, he opens his hands for you. You sigh teasingly but take it. Intertwining your fingers together, you two sit in silence again for a moment. 
Holding hands, watching as the rain pours, and preparing to give your hearts to one another… It feels like this could be a dream.
“Tae and Yuna, ” you begin, breaking the silence. Your voice sounds weary and desperate. “They’ve been friends since the very beginning. He always had feelings for her and she did too… But she didn’t do anything about it until it was too late. He’s dating Mina’s friend now or something—it’s so messed up. It’s so unfair, y-you know? They deserve each other so much and I—”
“Breathe,” Jungkook comforts you. “They’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t want that to be us,” you blurt. 
Jungkook blinks at you. 
“It’s so scary. Jungkook, I don’t want that to be us… B-but it is us, isn’t it? Y-you hate me because of—“
His eyebrows knit together. “___, I don’t hate you. Don’t say that.”
Your lips quiver, unsure of how to navigate through this talk. Maybe you should have planned it better. Maybe you should have written this whole speech out instead of word-vomiting like this… But that’s the thing. 
You aren’t good at this.
Regardless, you’ll try for him.
“I’ve been selfish,” you admit, letting your eyes dart to the field. You can’t look at him. It feels too overwhelming to.  “I’ve been inconsiderate and I know I can’t justify my actions because they hurt you—I just need you to know that I was scared. It was so scary trusting you, falling asleep beside you, and waking up next to you. It was so scary watching you laugh with other girls and not knowing how to tell you how I felt… I’m sorry I started fights while trying to figure out how I felt about myself… Honestly? I think I was so scared because you made it so easy.”
A beat.
“T-the truth is… I’ve always known how I felt about you.” 
Jungkook can’t help but smile. He wonders if you know what you’re doing to him… Do you? He’s afraid you don’t.
“Really?” he pries, moving closer to you. “How do you feel about me?”
Attempting to be intimidating, you turn to face him with a glare. 
“D-don’t push it.”
Jungkook pouts. “But I want to know… Please, please, please?”
For a moment you contemplate. Then, you look at him and take it all in. His wet hair, soft eyes, and pouting lips… How were you ever strong enough to say no to him before? Truly, you’re a changed woman.
Curling your fist, you shut your eyes and say it. You tell him the whole truth. 
You give him your heart. 
“You said you got ahead of yourself… But have you ever considered that I was beside you the entire time? L-like you said you’ve had feelings for me since the first time you made me laugh… Me too. I knew it then too. I just didn’t know what to do because every time I dated guys, it all felt the same… With you, it was different from the start. I don’t know how to explain it… All I know is that I like you in every way it’s possible to like someone—I like you. My heart has been yours all along. I’m sorry it took me so long to give it to you. It just felt like everything with you kept falling into place and I was terrified I was f-falling too… I think—n-no, I… Umm, I know that I…”
Something others may not know about Jungkook is that he’s consistently bad at one thing. That one thing is playing it cool when it comes to you. He has to fight his inner demons to stop himself from professing his love for you every 10 minutes. So, it would be a lie that he wasn’t loving this. He loves watching you feel what he feels. 
Your words, sweet and well-awaited, completely captivate him. 
He can’t help it when you’re like this. So perfect, so cute, so his. He can’t resist!
Which is why he kisses you mid-confession. 
Jungkook kisses you slowly and deeply. Like never before, you lose your breath from how passionately he kisses you. Once you two pull away, he rests his forehead against yours. Smiling, he sneaks in a couple more kisses. 
Timidly, you say, “So… You aren’t mad at me anymore?”
With a laugh, Jungkook shakes his head. “God, you drive me crazy.”
“So… That’s a no, right?” 
Jungkook rolls his eyes and purses his lips. You press your lips against them and kiss him once more. 
“___?”
“Y-yeah?”
“... I checked my phone a moment ago and Yuna ratted you out. She texted me like ten minutes before you came. Said if you don't show up I should knock on your door and fuck your feelings out of you.” You gasp, burying your face with your hands. Sighly dramatically, Jungkook makes a cheeky comment. “Once again, I waited for you.” 
You hit his chest playfully. In pure disbelief, you groan at him. “What? Y-you knew and still made me do the whole speech—”
"I didn’t know!” You ignore his claim. “Although, I wouldn't have had any issue fucking the feelings out of you—"
"Are you insane?" you fume. "I was literally sick to my stomach trying to get this confession thing done right!"
“I was excited!” He teases, and nudges you. You remain annoyed at him. Jungkook can’t help but find it cute. “Awh, ___! Come on. It’s not every day that a guy gets to see his girl in his jersey, holding a towel for him on the sidelines! Also… I just really wanted to see what all your fuss was about. I promise, I didn’t know.”
It’s too late. 
Just as you stand up and storm away from the embrassment, Jungkook catches up to you. Out on the field, the rain continues to pour on you two. Drying him off was useless if you were going to be this dramatic. 
As he catches your wrist, you shove him away and cross your arms. 
“I feel stupid,” you sigh. “Y-you knew how I felt about you. I was worried and anxious the entire time and y-you knew!” 
Jungkook shuts his eyes and can’t believe how feisty you are. It’s entertaining and frustrating at the same time. God, you were so complex… But at the same time, he knows you’re just afraid. This is you finding an out. This is also you trying to stay. 
He takes your hand. 
You don’t shake him off say anything. 
You let him take it. 
He holds it like it’s all he has ever wanted to do (it is all he has ever wanted to do).
“I didn’t know everything! Hey, the fuss was cute,” he ensures you. “Do it again.”
“No!” you cry, feeling your clothes start to stick to your skin. It’s pouring now and you instantly regret being dramatic.
Except, Jungkook looks so perfect. His hair is wet and his shirt is soaked so you can see the way his muscles curve. He’s so handsome that you have to gather all your strength as a woman to keep yourself from jumping on him.
“This shit is so hard!” you complain through the rain. “How did you do this? You confessed like every time we fucked—”
“Yah!” Jungkook warns, feeling a little embarrassed. Maybe he should be the one to storm away now…  “Be nice to me or else I’m about to reject you.”
You roll your eyes at him. Grabbing him by the collar, you tug him to your eye level. Happily, he complies. 
“Do it then,” you call his bluff. “Reject me right now.”
Jungkook looks into your eyes, loving the way you look at him. He blinks at you slowly and bites his inner cheek. For a moment, he’s silent. You’d think he’s contemplating or something… But he’s not. He’s been sure about you since your first laugh, remember?
“Kinda cruel considering you’re all I’ve been waiting for,” Jungkook confesses, as he dips his head low and kisses you. 
As he kisses you, you squeeze his hand. Holding his hand tighter, he smiles into the kiss. The rain continues to pour, making everything feel unreal. As he pulls away, he looks at you the way he always has… This time, you get what Yuna was talking about.
The warmth in his gaze.
The love in it.
The you in it.
After what felt like endless heartache with other boys—this felt healing. 
This was yours. 
Him. 
And that’s when your heart tells you something you never knew… 
You waited well too. 
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You two escape the rain and make it to your place.
In your bedroom, you quickly get undressed and sit in front of your mirror to dry your hair. Jungkook comes out of the washroom all clean. Passing by you, he plants a kiss on the top of your head. You watch from the mirror as he reaches inside your closet for one of his shirts. 
Your high from the moment at the field suddenly dies. Suddenly, you realize the confession wasn’t enough to move forward. For fucks sake, he has his clothes in your closet.
“Jungkook?” you ask cutely.
“Mhmm?” he responds as he dresses himself.
You almost choke on your words. “What are we?” 
He grins, coming back to you and swaying you side to side. Without batting an eye, he answers: “friends, of course!”
Instantly, you push him away. Your shoulders slump as you glare at him. He laughs his ass off, loving the way you reacted. When he calms down, he kneels in front of you and apologizes. 
“Okay, bestie,” you play along as he gets up. “Should we eat perilla leaves to celebrate?” 
Jungkook’s mouth drops. His eye practically twitches at the mention of perilla leaves.
Throwing his hands up dramatically, he cries, “Oh god... My girlfriend is so mean to me… She’s so hot, holy shit.”
Girlfriend.
That sounds about right.
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He’s so big. 
Sometimes, you forget that.
It slips your mind because Jungkook has always been a giver. You never really had to worry about it being uncomfortable. He makes sure you cum first and always puts his needs above yours—tonight was a prime example of just that. 
As he towers over you, he leaves a trail of kisses from your neck to your lips. Each kiss is so soft and intimate, your pussy clenches at his very touch. It doesn’t help when he places his thumb on your clit, rubbing and stretching it out to stimulate you even more. As you moan into his ear, he feels shivers go down his back. 
You gasp as he bites your skin, enticing you to want him even more. 
“Jungkook,” you breathe, “put it in, please.”
“Mhmm,” he moves the hair strands on your face and kisses you. “Be good for me, okay? Be patient. Gonna fuck you good so I need you to be on your best behaviour.”
“B-best behaviour,” you repeat rather lewdly. “Okay… W-whatever you want, love. You have it. You have me.”
Love.
God, you and your fucking words.
Jungkook bites his bottom lip, trying his best to take his time. Truth be told, he wants to fuck you silly right now. He wants you so bad that your legs won’t work and he’ll have to tend to your soreness. He wants to fuck you so good that you scream his name and lose yourself in him… But he’ll take his time tonight. 
He wants to show you so much. He wants to show you how good he can make you feel. How you won’t ever regret your decision of being with him. He wants to show you what kind of man you chose and what kind of man you get to have.
A good man.
A man that has wanted you for so long that now that he has you—oh was he ready to drag it out.
Jungkook gently places his dick in between your folds. It’s hard and thick. You can feel it against your wet pussy and want nothing more than for him to put it in. Instead, Jungkook lifts himself and sits in between your legs. There, he holds the base of his cock and slaps it against your pussy. He rubs his cock up and down your folds. Then, he splits them open with his fingers and spits on it. He then spreads his spit with his cock. You feel so lucky when he pokes it inside once in a while. Like a tease, he takes it out so quickly that you begin to feel frustrated. 
“P-put it in, please…”
Jungkook smirks. 
“Put what in?”
You glare at him.
“Your hard, thick, stupid cock. Put it in my wet, needy, desperate pussy right now… Please?”
Jungkook lets out a sexy chuckle. “Not yet,” he tells you, as he fully stops. He then moves over and helps you sit up. Leaning against your headboard, he spreads your legs. Just when you think you can predict his next move, he reaches over to your nightstand and grabs his phone. Unlocking it, he passes it to you.
“Film me.”
You nod, following his orders.
Tapping record, you angle the camera to your pussy. You watch through the phone screen as Jungkook positions his face in between your legs. Gulping, you throw your head back as he makes his first lick. 
Jungkook holds onto your thighs, helping you keep your legs open. He digs himself into your pussy, devouring every inch of it. To deepen himself, he digs his nose in and curls his tongue as he licks you. When he pulls away for air, he sucks on your clit making sure to keep you on your toes. 
“Oohhh,” you sob. “S-so good. J-Jungkook—“
“Mhmm,” he murmurs onto your skin. “Tastes so good.”
“A-aghhh! Oh my god!”
The thing is… Jungkook has eaten you out before.
But this was different.
It was slow and sensual. The way he licks you and eats you out just feels so surreal. Your toes curl, your stomach winces, and your pussy tightens as you’re about to climax—
Jungkook pulls away. 
He has a devilish look on his face. You stop the recording and toss his phone aside. Suddenly, he takes hold of your ankles and tugs you down. On your back, you open your arms and welcome him in again. Gladly, he buries himself in your breasts and moans at your softness. 
“That was—“
“Everything my girl deserves,” he tells you sweetly. “My girl…”
“Your girl,” you pull him in for a kiss. “All yours..”
Jungkook moans, unable to stop himself. He lifts his hips, making space for him to quickly pump his cock before guiding it inside you.
… And oh my god.
He feels so good.
Him inside you is so fulfilling and healing. 
“You okay?”
You nod, mesmorized by the man he is.
“More than.”
With that, Jungkook kisses you and begins to fuck you. He thrusts in and out, making you feel his entire length with each stroke. Your body takes him in as if it’s welcoming him home. As he feeds you your craving, he picks up the pace. You wrap your legs around him, moaning from how good it feels as he buries himself in you. 
“F-fuck,” Jungkook hisses. “Love this. Feels so good.”
“Mhmm,” you whimper. “J-just like that!”
Jungkook continues to fuck you, drilling himself deeper and deeper. Soon, you’re chanting his name and his ego begins to boom.
Jungkook fucks you like he loves you… And you know it. You can feel it. To express so, you claw his back. Digging your nails deeper and deeper, holding him close.
“N-nghhh! I’m gonna cum—”
“Cum for me, pretty girl. You behaved so well,” he praises. “Proud of you.”
Your heart flutters. 
Then, your pussy clenches as you release. He feels it. Jungkook groans, accepting that this round will be over soon. There will be plenty more, for sure. As he pumps inside you lazily, cautious of being sensitive to your climax but also because he’s hitting his. 
Then, he creams your pussy. It oozes out, but he pumps himself a few more times to stuff you.
As he spills himself onto you, he lets out heavy breaths and collapses on top of you. You let him catch his breath there as you tangle your fingers in his hair. 
“I love you,” you confess. 
“Good… I was hoping you would.” Jungkook lets out a tired laugh. “I love you too, ___. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. You’re everything I’ve ever loved.”
You hold him tighter.
“I love you more.”
Jungkook bursts into laughter. “Love, we are not going to play that game.”
Tilting your head at him. “Why not? It’s true.”
“You think you love me more than I love you?”
“Mhmm.”
“Prove it.”
With that, Jungkook laughs as you shift position. Leaving him on his back, you climb on top and straddle him. As you lift yourself to guide his dick inside, he lets out a whiney moan. You are so sexy. You are quite literally his favourite part of living.
“I’ll prove it,” you accept the challenge. “Will you last though?”
Jungkook’s lips slight part, amazed and shocked at your initiative. In response, he relaxes and gestures at your body. There’s a tightness that overcomes his entire body. It’s mixed with excitement and relief. For the nth time, he gives in.
Jungkook folds.
Happily, he gives himself to you.
“With you? Forever.”
Forever.
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After 3 rounds, you two call it a night. As you drift to sleep, Jungkook holds you. Before this, you two talked as much as you could and even began to make plans. There is an indescribable comfort in being with each other.
Upcoming dates.
Better ways to communicate.
Everything and anything in between—you two want it all.
As the rain pours, Jungkook finally shuts his eyes. He pulls you closer, kissing you for the final time tonight. There would be tomorrow to kiss you anyway.
Tomorrow and the day after that… And the day after that. And the days that follow—he’d do just that.
He can’t wait to kiss you forever.
To hold your hand forever.
To love you forever.
For the first time in a while, Jungkook finds rest. His heart stays still and feels loved. Besides, this is what he has wanted to be all along—
Close to you.
971 notes · View notes
astrologylunadream · 6 months
Text
Your Next Long-term Friendship🍒💄♥️ (Pick a card/Tarot reading)
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Hey it's Lunadream~ we're going to learn all about your next long lasting/healthy friendship!💋 Who is your future bestie?🥰 hope you find your message~
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3 (Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Also thank you all for the love and support on my readings!!❤ You are all such gifts.💋🤗
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^ Think of the you and your future bestie, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~📮🍬♥️
Pile 1🍓
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Pile 2🍬
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Pile 3🍒
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Pile 4🍫
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Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 😍💄♥️
Pile 1🍓
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Sign energy: Knowledge, Health, Audience, Seduction, Conquer, 7th house, Mercury, Air, 11th house, Pluto, 🚫🥳🔮☀️
💄Your energy: I am sensing very venusian, feminine vibes for you guys💕 Very charming and beautiful, like I feel like you can gain anyone's trust with just the way you speak. You're sociable in a soft and seductive way, people fall for the way your mind works and the way you word things.💬🥰 So sweet and captivating aura for this pile. Noticable placements are air dominants, Libra, Gemini and Aquarius placements. Pluto/Scorpio is also apparent! Of course those are just some of the main energies I'm getting, take what resonates <3 You guys are just so attractive mentally especially, Also you may have put a stop to romantic relationships for your health sake or at least tried to shift focus away from giving so much energy into those types of connections. You are very aware and knowledgable of the world around you, mostly through sources of the internet.🔍 There is definitely a soft vibe to my pile 1's💘 Also your mind and intelligence is your superpower, you may have a lot of followers online/or have many connections with people that way. I'm getting extrovert vibes but not necessarily have to be, you may just have a lot of people who like you. Some of you are health conscious, or trying to focus on self care.💅💄🤗
♥️Your next long term friendship: Read, Relaxed, Reserved, Cinderella, Rose, North node, Leo, Scorpio, 9th house, 3rd house, 😫✂️🍭🥱 Ohhh interesting my pile 1's your next bestie will be very kind and understanding of you, I'm getting older sibling vibes from them🥺❤ Like they will be totally there for you, and a good listener I'm hearing. Something is telling me they read books, and may enjoy writing stories. Placements for them may be Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Gemini so look out for those!!😊 Omg you guys your friend is going to compliment you so well, it's honestly adorable😭😭 Like you two are somewhat different but go together like salt and pepper🧂🖤 Really cute, they are more of an introvert loner type, but like super chill and just vibing. I feel like they were really lonely until they met you🥺 You two may enjoy watching disney movies together😍❤ I feel like they will help keep you down to earth and end toxic cycles or relationships that aren't good for you.🥺 Ahhh they are just so there for you, they could have the name Rose or a flower related name. Omg your friend may become a successful writer in the future. Lol I feel like your bestie will come into your life as sort of a "prince charming" but in a best friend way, giving you the best advice and preventing you from letting yourself get hurt or disappointed⚔✊ Even though they aren't very social and more so closed off, they are so sweet to you omg.🙊♥️
📮Extra cards: Over, Chiron, Entertainment, Business, Anger (They may get very defensive if you get hurt or sad, I feel like they will be the first to tell somebody off that broke your heart or offended you. True bestie vibes👌🥰
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Pile 2🍬
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Sign energy: Honest, Honey, Secret admirer, Us, Trouble, North node, Chiron, 7th house, Moon, Leo,🗒🥰🏎🚨
💄Your energy: Okay so you guys are going through a lot🤯 We have prominent Libra, Cancer and Leo for this pile's chart. Some of you are searching for a way to heal from past experiences, you may not be addressing it directly or trying to shift focus from your problems. You guys are healing from something, likely a romantic connection or situation. You could be in a one sided relationship or there are blockages in your love life, whatever the case there is some tension with romance for you guys. You may be keeping secrets or hiding your feelings, you just want someone to talk about it with. I think you need to be sweeter to yourself, and think highly of yourself too.❤ My pile 2's have gone through a lot, I heard you have trouble sharing your emotions a lot. But you will be healing so fast and in no time you will be unstoppable✊🤗 Also your emotions make you very attractive and you may have secret admirers due to your kind and true feelings. Some of you may write in your diary often, or write down affirmations for your future or goals. I'm hearing you are very sweet and genuine my pile 2's🤧💕 You want to be understood and cared for, and omg you are so soft and beautiful I just want to give you a hug!!
♥️Your next long-term friendship: Important, Capricorn, Teddy bear, Power, Tease, Chiron, South node, 6th house, Uranus, 10th house, 🌇🌅🧍‍♂️😁 Okay so it is highly likely your next long term friendship has more assertive qualities, omg they will want to take care of you and help you. Heavy Capricorn influence on their chart, also look out for Virgo and Aquarius placements. Saturnian vibes. They are very stable and strong, I think they are more dominant with you like taking your problems into their own hands or teasing you slightly. You may meet them through online or business of some sort, they can seem cheeky at first until you see how attentive they are to you.☺ They will most likely hug you a lot or more often, because they see your emotional needs and want to care for you.🥺♥️ They themselves are rather less expressive and they seem like they aren't as needy for emotional comfort, but deep down they too are healing and have past experiences they feel hurt by.😭🏚 Probably why they want to comfort and care for you because they wanted that themselves, your next friend may be successful in business. For some of you this friend will be a masculine. They may act as a sort of "husband" archetype but in a friend sense, like providing support and help to you and all. Their body language is very commanding, they could live in the city or do business there soon. Also I just got virgo rising vibes. They will get your life together for you, opening doors and huge opportunities. What a helpful and supportive friend they will be.😊 They'll want to help you through everything, it will be a very stable and healthy friendship.♥️👏
Extra cards: Safe, Allow, Be yourself, Lies, Kitty (Your friend want you to feel able to be you and be happy, and let you feel safe and good about yourself☀️)
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the candy emoji~🍬 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Pile 3🍒
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Sign energy: Salty, Memories, Right, Couple, Impulsive, Lilith, 2nd house, 10th house, 1st house, Jupiter,💎♓🔦👄
💄Your energy: Ah we have some bad b*ch vibes here in this pile, so powerful and seductive.😘 You want that ride or die best friend, to have real fun with🚀🎉 Taurus, Capricorn, Aries, Sagittarius and Pisces energy is prominent. Your lips are your very attractive feature, also you have this hot look that draws others in.🧲 You may be bitter about something like old memories or an ex that gets you mad, something you remember that makes you salty.😡 Some of you were the type to date really early in life or have many breakups, but now you are very powerful and on the right track🏆 You guys are so ambitious and stunning, you are owning your bad side😈 Your voice mesmerizes all your admirers and you speak power, total hotties.🔥 Physically gorgeous, mentally too. I just heard people get addicted to your voice, like they can't let it go. Everyone has this fatal attraction to you, the spotlight is on you my pile 3's💋 You don't take no for an answer, direct approach to what you want. If anyone in this pile is going through heartbresk or break up just know you don't need them like you are high demand they don't deserve you.👑 You are a diamond, one of a kind and they know it too. My pile 3's have this look in theirs eyes that is so alluring and captivating.💫
♥️Your next long-term friendship: Eternity, Long, Push, Shame, Image, Fire, Sun, 7th house, Neptune, 11th house, 📸🐭😩😑 So your bestie is going to be in your life for a while I'm hearing, very long lasting connection to confirm! Look out for Leo, Libra, Pisces, and Aquarius energies. You guys will take selfies together and share photos with eachother, giggling about it and I also feel like you two will roast people for fun.😂 You may even tease eachother or act like enemies as an inside joke. You two will be very playful with one another, like lifetime close friends. Your friend may be against the idea of you getting into a romantic relationship or commitment because then you will be just as close with that person.🥺❤ They are a little clingy, but only because they will feel like you guys are inseparable <3 It may be a long time before either of you get a romantic relationship of your own, like you two may both stay single for a while and just own your single power together👑💫 They will push you to do things you haven't tried before and vice versa, they want to be friends with you forever I'm hearing omg😢💞 You two get to be weird together, and your humor combined is 10/10. I feel like people may shame you two for whatever reason, like paint a picture of you guys being bad or a chaotic duo but that's only because they are jealous of a friendship like yours😌🔥🌈
Extra cards: Lies, Psycho, Loose, Matchmaker, Flower (Aww no I'm getting that many others will insist your bestie is a bad influence on you, like they're untamed or too wild. Like people won't like you guys spontaneous nature together because they will call it mischievous or crazy🥺 Your friend will stick with you through it all though, no matter what people say about the two of you. Omg like ride or die❤🎆
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the cherry emoji~🍒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Pile 4🍫
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Sign energy: Father, Self love, Odd, Past, Perfect, Virgo, Water, Venus,💛👢🖇🍫
💄Your energy: Okayy so for my pile 4's this is a very preppy, feminine energy. I am getting vintage vibes~🖤 Prominent energies are Virgo, Taurus and Libra as well as water placements. You may hold on to the past even uncommon things that not many people remember, you have a vivid memory. You may be really into shoes, or rare clothing (Like things you don't see people wear often). My pile 4's have high standards, it can be for anything from clothes to romantic partners. You may think very highly of yourself or at least acknowledge your beauty, because after all you are very beautiful😌♥️ Some of you have a specific relationship with your father, either inspired or disappointed by him. You think a lot, but I feel like you put too much pressure on yourself. Accept that you are perfect in your own way, I think you already know that💓 You guys are so sweet, also chocolate may be your favorite sweet treat.🍫 Such a delicate feminine aura, very pretty and well kept. You may have a strange hobby or interests, many people perceive you as being different (most likely in a good way☀️) and the color yellow may be significant to you. This pile is just so polished and gorgeous oml😩♥️💞
♥️Your next long-term friendship: Psycho, Leader, Door, Tsundere, Nostalgia, Venus, Chiron, South node, Mercury, Saturn,☀️🟦🌋💬 Omg my pile 4's this is so interesting idk where to start!! They will be very bold and take the initiative, this could be a coping mechanism to act tough when they are actually not that way. You may have met this person in the past, or they bring back many memories to you.⏳ Your friend could be a little older than you, or have that vibe about them. Feminine energies are also present, It is possible for them to have Venus-Sun aspects. Libra, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius are all prominent placements to remember. This could be an existing connection that was closed off or seemed distant, for a small amount of you I'm getting that this is someone who didn't like you at first or vice versa, but then becomes close to you. They may have acted cold on purpose out of fear of getting close to someone⛈💔 They talk a lot, but they may accidentally say harsh things out of habit🥺 They can have bursts of anger centered from their past, they may have been hurt by other's words.😭😭 Blue is a color for them, they may wear that as their comfort color. They will definitely hide their intnese emotions from you, shutting them out so you don't feel burdened. Also I feel like when you two become friends they will be strangely worried about preserving your beauty?? Keeping you covered up or saying you should wear less revealing outfits😂😂 I think it comes from a place of protecting you, they don't want you to get used or tricked by others I'm hearing.♥️ They will care about you a lot more than you will know🥺💞
Extra cards: Pisces, Ankles, Fishing, Yellow, Passion
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the chocolate emoji~🍫 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌 -Lunadream <3
422 notes · View notes
saetoru · 1 year
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✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。WINTER — ITOSHI SAE.
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you love that sae gets to play soccer, that he’s happy doing what he does best—that much is true. what you don’t love, however, is when he leaves to play soccer. you watch with sulky pouts and sullen expressions every time as he packs his bags for a game away, huffing as he takes that hoodie you like instead of leaving it for you.
i like that one, you’ll always say bitterly. it’s a different hoodie every time, and you know he knows you say that just to be whiny—but he never says as much, and a small part of you appreciates it.
you like all of them, he always says blankly, and then you sit and mourn that one hoodie you can’t have from him—even as he leaves you the rest of them at your disposal.
this time is no different. sae leaves the first day of winter, the frigid air kissing your skin as you shiver at the front door, standing with a pout on your face as he turns to you.
“see you in three weeks,” he says, an arm looping around you to give you a brief hug. you sniffle—and you feel silly, you feel like you must seem pathetic every time. it’s three weeks not three decades.
but the bed is colder without sae to keep you warm in the harshness of winter nights, and breakfast is lonely without someone to listen to you babble away, and tv is boring when you can’t share snacks and make fun of the poor choices of blandly written main characters.
you’re silly and a bit childish to cry like this every time—but you can’t help it. you’re happy that sae gets to play soccer, you just can’t ever get used when he’s away.
“i’ll miss you,” you croak, “don’t forget about me, okay? i’ll die.”
“so dramatic,” he rolls his eyes, but his voice is soft and his hand rubs those soothing circles into the small of your back, and you think maybe you’re not so annoying if he treats you so softly, so gentle and sweet even if it’s a bit stiff and blunt like him.
it’s cold—it’s dry and the wind is harsh and sae should really get going if he wants to make it to the airport on time, but you’re sniffling into his shoulder. perhaps there are more pressing things to worry about for now.
“are you gonna miss me too?” you ask, poking his shoulder a few times, “you will right? you’ll be so lonely without me right? so super sad?”
“you’re too much,” he grunts, but his grip tightens around you anyway—as if to say, yes. as if to say i’ll miss you every day, and i’ll keep missing you even when i’m back. “it’s three weeks,” he says flatly, “you’ll live.”
“what if i die? would you come back for my funeral even if you’d miss your game? you would right? don’t let them pick a bad picture of me.”
“i’ll pick the ugliest one i can find,” he grumbles, making you slap his shoulder with a gasp.
“i hope you get stuck sitting next to a crying baby on your flight,” you sulk.
“i’m stuck with a crying baby at home too,” he mutters, “what’s the difference?” you can almost feel him smile even if you can’t see it.
sae doesn’t smile too often—that’s what everyone else will say, anyway. you tell them differently though, that he smiles often, that he’s pretty and soft and innocent under the dim lights of your living room or the gentle rays of sun under the morning sheets. and it’s always small, the way his lips stretch—it’s barely noticeable and all too brief. but his muscles move before his brain thinks, and just a quick glance at you is enough to make his eyes soften and his mouth twitch.
itoshi sae leaves you alone at home on the first day of winter, and he realizes he falls in love with you a little more every season. he loves you through the gentle breeze of summer and the vibrant petals of spring, he sees pieces of you in the warm hues of autumn everywhere he goes—and when winter comes and the harsh chill settles under his bones, he realizes it’s your body he wants against his to ease the ache of the brittle cold.
“you’re rude.”
“i gotta go,” is all he says. “i’ll see you in three weeks?”
and he always does that—always asks if he’ll see you like he has to make sure you’ll be here, waiting with warm arms and a soft smile and those kind eyes of yours that he doesn’t deserve but can’t possibly forget.
“yeah,” you mumble softly, “yeah. see you in three weeks sae. be safe,” you mumble against his shoulder.
this is the hard part.
if you had to pick, the hardest part is where you let go—the part where your body screams for the heated press of his as it pulls away. it’s always easier for sae than it is for you, always simpler for him to reason it’s only three weeks and walk away. because he’ll come back—he always does, and you don’t think he’ll ever stop. but it’s the hardest part anyway, and you hate it. and you wish, selfishly deep down, that it’d be just a bit hard for him too.
“i’ll see you in three weeks,” he repeats again, as if to reassure you.
but this time, he still doesn’t let go. he doesn’t make a move to leave like usual. then it hits you all at once—you realize maybe it’s not just you he says it for, that maybe sae, under his blank stare and blunt words, doesn’t think it’s any easier than you do when he walks away.
so you nod slowly, “three weeks. shouldn’t be too bad,” you whisper.
“no,” he says quietly, “you’ll live.”
and then his arms squeeze you tighter, and his breath exhales slowly, and he presses a kiss to your forehead that can’t be anything other than stalling—and suddenly, you realize maybe it’s never been as easy for sae as you think it has.
“i’ll live,” you agree softly, “i’ll have to since i can’t let someone get away with picking an ugly picture for my funeral.”
he chuckles at that—it’s a sound he doesn’t really make that often, but somehow, it’s one that bleeds into every moment with you. so you turn your head and kiss his hair, squeeze around his waist and keep him warm outside your door as the cold wind of winter grazes your skin. 
“don’t die,” he says, “i’ll be back.”
“i won’t,” you giggle, “bye, baby. i love you. see you in three weeks.”
“yeah,” he hums. and finally, he pulls away. your body’s gone and so is your warmth, but sae’s not cold—doesn’t think he can be when his heart burns like that in his chest. “love you too,” he mumbles, flicking your forehead before he turns around and walks out the door, “and don’t forget to watch me win.”
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idk i just think sae w a dramatic lover is a dynamic we need — aka me projecting LMAO.
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Zuko x reader - one more time
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Hey can I get a Zuko x reader where the it’s Legend of Korra era but what it is is that Korra or Bolin just anyone in the main group ask about his past s/o who was the reader and he talks about them in a sad old man way taking about his deceased lover 😭 thank you - Anon 💜
Korra had been trying to figure everything out, and she realised the only connection she had to Aang, the one that knew him when he was going through the same thing was Zuko.
So she visited him, and spent as much time as she could asking questions, asking for advice and help.
“I’m sorry Korra, but this is not something I’m so good at, (Y/N) was better at giving advice than I ever could have hoped to be.”
“(Y/N)? You’re partner?” Korra asked.
Zuko nodded his head and gestured for her to follow him.
He led her through a lavish garden, nearly cared for, and when they reached the middle he showed her a large statue and Korra stared at it.
You were absolutely stunning, you looked young, beautiful, elegant, yet powerful and a fair ruler.
“Wait.. I think.. I think I spoke to them. In the spirit realm.”
“You did?”
They both sat down in the bench opposite the statue of you.
“Yeah, they were the one that told me to come speak to you, that you would know what to do.” She said.
Zuko smiled and chuckled softly as he stared up at the statue in fondness.
“They always said I knew what to do, even if I didn’t realise it straight away.”
Korra looked at the former fire Lord, and she looked up at the statue of you.
“What were they like?” She asked softly.
Zuko smiled softly, turning his head to the floor before he looked back up at the statue.
“They were… they were strong, stubborn, like Katara, but peaceful and loving like Aang. They saw the beauty in everything around, but they were one of the bravest people I had ever met.”
Korra listened carefully as Zuko told her all about you.
He told her stories from when you two first met, how you had left the nation to fight with Aang, and you would always mock him for not being able to defeat you.
Then how he fell in love with you, on the day of the war ended, while he was fighting with his sister you risked your life for not only Katara, but for him too.
He loved your stubbornness, and your smiled that could light up a room on the darkest night.
“They were more then anything I could’ve ever asked for, they gave me the love and the forgiveness I never have asked for from anyone else…”
Zuko sighed, running his finger alone the lone wedding band on his finger.
“They were the love of my life and more…”
Korra reached out, placing her hand on his arm, making him look at her.
“You’ve done them proud, they told me how proud they were of you, and how much they miss you.” She said.
He smiled softly and looked at her.
“Really?”
“Yeah, of course.”
He nodded his head and looked at your statue before turning to the young avatar.
“Do you think you can talk to them again?”
“I.. don’t know. Maybe.”
“If you do please give them this. I was going to give it to them on the our anniversary before they passed, I’ve carried it ever since.”
He handed over an old letter, and she took it, slipping it into her pocket.
“Of course, will you tell me more about them?”
Zuko smiled and carried on talking, and Korra just sat there listened to his stories.
She knew he was lonely, she heard from Katara how you were never without one another.
To loose your lover so early and have to go on through life without them? She couldn’t imagine how lonely and how painful it must be.
She heard the way he talked, the sadness in his voice, the tears brimming his eyes as all he could do was stare at the statue.
Korra looked at the statue and she saw something behind it, and all she could do was stare at the spirit.
She didn’t need to compare the looks to know immediately who it was.
She watched as you walked over and sat in front of your statue, resting your elbow on your knee, and you rested your chin on your palm as you smiled at Zuko.
“Ask him to tell you about the time he proposed to me.” You whispered softly.
“Can you tell me about the time your proposed to (Y/N)?”
“You really want to hear about that?”
Katara flicked her eyes to your spirit, and you gently nodded your head.
“I.. (Y/N) wants to hear it.”
“They’re here?”
Zuko knew the avatar could see spirits, talk with them, and he knew since the spirit realm was opened more and more were pouring through.
He never thought that you would come through though.
“They’re here…” she smiled.
Zuko looked around and Korra pointed to where you were sat, and all she could do was smile as he smiled to himself.
“It was supposed to be elegant, I had a large ball planned, everyone was invited, everyone was waiting for me. (Y/N) wore the most beautiful clothes you had ever seen, made out the finest silk you could ever see. I was walking down the stairs, and I tripped, falling the rest of the way and I knocked (Y/N) over along the way.” He laughed.
You laughed as well and nodded your head.
“I was so embarrassed I quickly left and (Y/N) followed me, out to this very garden and we stood in very spot. They kissed me, and told me that it was okay, and I asked them there and then if they would marry me.”
He twisted the wedding band on his finger.
“They teased me and kept putting off the answer, and I went to walk away thinking it was them rejecting me… I tripped again…”
“But they said yes.” Korra smiled.
“They did. But not before laughing at me first.” He chuckled.
Korra watched as his face turned to sadness.
“It was the best marriage I could’ve ever ask for… but they got sick… they tried to fight, to hold on but they wouldn’t do it anymore. They passed away in their sleep, they never got to watch our children grow up, they never saw the kingdoms grow closer.”
Korra couldn’t handle it anymore, she knew she shouldn’t do this, but she felt like she owed it to Zuko, for everything he’d done.
“Close your eyes.” She said softly.
Zuko did as he was told and she placed a hand on his head, whispering something she stepped away.
“I.. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but I hope this helps.”
She handed him the letter he gave her and stepped a few steps back, watching him open his eyes and he stared directly at you.
He smiled and you stood up, walking over to touch his face.
Maybe she was breaking a lot of rules, but Korra knew he was breaking inside without you, he’d been so alone without you for so long she wanted him to have some time with you, even if it was just a few minutes
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thetriumphantpanda · 5 months
Text
Scandal-Hit Princess
One Day I'll Fly Away - Chapter One
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Chapter Summary | A scandal-hit Princess, ink barely dried on the divorce papers and a lone rancher with no interest in the inevitable media storm following her meet for the first time - it’s a recipe for disaster, right?
Word Count | 2.6K
Pairing | Joel Miller x Princess F!Reader
Chapter Warnings | foul language, descriptions and mentions of divorce and infidelity, Joel being a rancher and kinda aloof and unbothered, mentions of body image issues and stress, mentions of the British royal family, no-outbreak AU, no use of y/n, smut in future chapters but nothing else at this point.
Authors Note | Well, here she is - Miss Scandal is ready to meet you all! This has been such a labour of love for me already and I cannot tell you how excited I am to bring you this story. It’s different, but I love it, and I hope you will too! As always, thank you to @undercoverpena and @hellishjoel who have been on the receiving end of so much shouting and screaming about this! Please, if you do enjoy this, consider leaving a comment or reblogging - I will love you all forever! And you can support me further by donating to my Kofi account if you want to.
Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Kofi | Series Playlist
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Rage is the only thing you really feel anymore. The feeling of betrayal, that’s gone. The feeling of sadness at losing the life you had, that’s also gone.The only thing that remains is the rage, bubbling slowly under your skin. You’ve been sitting in it for six months now, sitting with the injustice of it all, how someone had taken one singular conversation and flipped it on its head. The more you think about it, the more you can understand the conclusion everyone had come to, especially when the man wearing the crown had spun the story to suit him, his family, and his fucking son. Traitors, the fucking lot of them.
It hadn’t always been bad. You wouldn’t have said yes to the wedding if it had, regardless of how big the ring had been. He’d been sweet, charming, and despite the fact that your family came from money, he’d given you a life you could only have dreamed of. Sure, the endless flying around the world to shake a few hands and stand for a few photos, tilt your head down and look placid when you talked to anyone, took flowers from children and gripped the arms of people in distress, that all got tiring, but the fairytale had been all worth it really, until it hadn’t.
When the papers became more interested in who made your clothes, or the fact that the colour you’d worn didn’t suit you, or worse, sent some kind of subliminal message, or why the angle of the camera made you look pregnant when you weren’t, or how there must have been an argument between you and your husband because you hadn’t looked at him for the entire time you’d been at the ballet one time. When the focus shifted from what you were trying to do - shine a light on suffering or simply cheer people up by your presence, to trying to find fault in every single thing you ever did, that’s when you started to wonder whether it was all worth it.
Then came the control. The rules. Don’t eat that. Don’t wear that. Don’t paint your nails that colour. Don’t say this. Don’t stand like that. Don’t. Don’t. Don’t. And it never seemed to matter how much good you did, how many initiatives you visited or how many sick people’s bedsides you sat next to , someone always had something to pick on. You could be the strongest person on earth, but the more someone picks away, the harder it gets to be yourself. But then, that’s what they wanted wasn’t it? Take the ideal woman on paper and grind her down until she was the ideal woman in real life - someone who kept her real thoughts to herself, behaved properly and didn’t rock the boat.
It strikes you now, in the solitude of this hotel room, that by trying to mould you into that person, you became the very thing they were terrified of all along. Someone who didn’t just rock the boat, but well and truly capsized it. It’s something of a comfort really, sat in this room like a prison, a nice and comfortable prison, but a prison none-the-less, that all it took was one woman who’d had enough to start tearing the family down from the inside. And it’s not like you’d really tried that hard to do it anyway - it hadn’t even been your intention. It just so happened that you’d been at the wrong place at the wrong time and someone had twisted your words - and his - to mean something they absolutely were not. If it hadn't been for what it had cost you, a one way ticket to the middle of nowhere and a reputation in tatters, you might find all this quite funny, but alas, there was nothing about this exile - or rather banishment - that was funny rot you right now.
You slam the magazine you’ve been trying to read down on your lap in frustration. The heat in this place is fucking stifling. Who the fuck suggested Texas as a good idea? Sure, it’s a world away from where you’d just come from, and for now, the press, obsessed with you since day one, hadn’t quite figured out where you were yet, but it was only a matter of time really. Someone would tip them off for a hefty sum, poor Nancy and her hotel would be swarmed and it would be up and on to the next place to try and lie low. You’re bored and bored is dangerous.
You swing your legs over the edge of the bed, stretching out your back before you stand, slip your shoes on and open the door. You look up and down the hall, quiet, no sign of Rob, head of the security detail you’d been given following your divorce. It would have been nice of them if it hadn’t been a way to keep an eye on you. You knew Rob was giving updates to the people back at home.
You lightly pad down the hallway once the door to your room is closed, taking the steps down to the reception quickly, stepping on your tiptoes until your hand traces over the front reception desk, Nancy immediately looking up from her papers.
“Your Highness.” Has become the greeting, with a slight curtsey, it’s wrong, but it doesn’t really matter anymore does it?
“Can I get you anything?”
You smile at her, leaning your elbows on the reception desk, cheek resting on one of your palms.
“Well, Nancy, I’d love some of those peaches from a few days ago, do you still have any?”
You watch as her expression drops, her skin tone draining like she’d made the biggest faux pas possible.
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” She gasps, “You liked ‘em so much we used ‘em all making dessert for tonight.”
“Sounds delicious,” You smile, big and broad, charming, “What are we having?”
“My famous peach pie,” Nancy taps the side of her nose, “My mama’s recipe.”
“With ice cream?” You ask, adding a wink at the end.
“Anything for you,” Then she adds, “I can send out for more peaches if you’d like them.”
You think for a moment, because they really are delicious, especially warmed from the sun where they’ve just been freshly picked, “Where do you get them?”
“Oh, at the Miller ranch, it’s a little way out of town, but he’s famous for them.”
“You know, I might go and get them myself.”
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Joel Miller scoffs into his coffee as his eyes scan the front page of the newspaper. Scandal-hit Princess in USA. He knew she was here. The town was abuzz with gossip that Nancy, owner of the nicest, fanciest hotel in town, was hosting her. Cleared out the entire top floor of rooms just for her. Restaurant closed whenever she wanted to eat. Someone had driven up to his ranch three days ago, asked for a boxes of peaches for her. Her favourite fruit apparently. He’d handed them over without much thought, asked for the usual price and then found himself with a very generous tip, folded into the back pocket of his jeans. He looks at the grainy photograph on the front page, taken through the window of the hotel, Princess sitting pretty, head down looking at the table. The photo is grainy, definitely not the best paparazzi work he’s seen splashed across the front page, but it’s enough to see her hand on the back of her neck and the hunch of her shoulders, trying to make herself look smaller than she is.
It’s a far cry from the woman he’d seen on the TV two years ago. It had been madness in his mind, that the entire world had ground to a halt to watch two people get married. Sarah had insisted that they all sit and watch it together, and he had thought Ellie would have his back, but she was just as enthralled watching her walk down the aisle. Weirdly, he remembers the dress, the white tulle, short lace sleeves, something sparkly peppered through the material, catching the light when she walks. But what he remembers more than anything, is her smile. The way she beamed when she was handed over, hand slipped into her soon-to-be husbands. It’s strange that divorce touches everyone, and no matter how big you smile, it’s always hiding something under the surface.
He looks briefly to his watch, realising he’s late for feeding and those sheep are going to give him hell if he doesn’t feed them soon. He downs the rest of his coffee, shoves the newspaper into the recycling box, he doesn’t really read it anyway, even when the news isn’t splashed from cover to cover with gossip about what that damn princess did or didn’t do, so he’s definitely not going to indulge it now, and then he’s out into the truck and heading down to the barn to stock up on feed.
It’s a strange world to him, this ranch life. For as long as he could remember he’s wanted to do it. Maybe it’s the solitude it offers him, the way he can finally think for himself after years of raising his daughters. Maybe it’s the way that unlike his daughters, his flock of sheep tend to do what they’re told, unless it’s this morning and he’s twenty minutes late to feed them, then they’d gather around his legs, bleating senselessly until he drops their feed onto the ground to appease them. What he really thinks is that it gives him a purpose. He grows fruit, peaches mainly, but a few other crops, that he gives to Nancy down at the hotel, or offers to Steven who owns the bakery, fruit that feeds his community. He shears his sheep, gives their wool to Betty and Ines to make clothes with. Sat out here, on the fringes of town, with more land and space than he knows what to do with, an empty house no longer filled with his daughters, this place gives him a reason to get up each morning. They all need him in some small way.
Once he’s finished with his morning chores - feeding the sheep, plucking the ripe peaches from his trees into crates, fixing up some of the fences that a few of the more boisterous sheep had knocked over and serviced the small tractor in the barn - he jumps back in his truck, the warm Austin sun, blazing at midday, licking at his skin, bringing sweat beading across his body, and goes back to the house. He’s just stepping out of the truck, rubbing his dirty hands with a rag from his back pocket, wiping the sweat from the back of his neck, when he notices a car pulling in to the bottom of his driveway, driving slowly up to come to a stop at the front porch of his house.
As he rounds his truck, he can see that the car is nicer than anything he’s ever seen in town. Sleek black, clean as a whistle, windows dark so he can’t see into them. It sits idling on his driveway until he climbs the steps at the back of the house, rounds the porch and stands at the top of the steps, leaning against the side of the stairs, fingers looped in one of his belt loops.
The front passenger door opens and bulking man gets out, sunglasses over his eyes, black t-shirt and jeans and a bald head. He nods at Joel, one of those classic nods that men understand when they give each other, then he opens the back door wide. Joel sees one leg step out of the car, then another, long, loose-fitting white trousers, then the rest of the body comes into view. He can’t quite believe it when he realises the person standing in front of him, pushing her sunglasses onto her head so she can look right at him, is the same person from the front page of the newspaper. The People’s Princess herself.
“Joel Miller?” She asks, voice sweet, lilting, as she holds out her hand for him to shake when she’s stood close enough to him.
He looks down at her hand - perfectly manicured, soft, by the looks of things, never seen a day of work in their lives - then looks at his, bigger, covered in filth, hard and calloused, definitely not the kind of hand she wants to be shaking. He thinks this must be muscle memory for her, the only work she knows how to do is hold out her hand and talk nice to people.
“I gotta bow or somethin’?’
She smirks at him, drops her hand, “I don’t think that’s necessary these days.”
“Can I help you?”
“Well,” She starts, voice sweet and peppy enough to start to annoy him, “I’ve been eating these peaches since I got here, the sweetest, juiciest I’ve ever eaten, and we’ve run out,” She brings a foot up to rest on the bottom step, Joel immediately stepping forward to stop her coming any closer into his bubble, “And I’ve been told you grow them, is that right?”
“That’s right.”
“Well,” She tilts her head, “Might I buy some more?”
“How many d’ya want?”
“A crate, please, if you have enough to spare.”
Joel spins on his feet, takes heavy footsteps back around the house to his truck, picks up the crate of peaches he just picked, the one with the most fruit in it and makes his way back to the front of the house where the Princess is still waiting.
He offers her the crate, holding it out in his hands. He watches as she turns to the man who opened her door for her, nods her head towards the crate, watches as he takes it from Joel. She stands up on her tiptoes as the crate passes her, plucks one of the peaches from the top.
She looks at Joel, right in his eyes as she bites into the fruit, obscene slurping sound in the air as she sucks the juice into her mouth, bringing a finger up to catch the drops that fall onto her chin, making sure she doesn’t drip it onto her pristine white suit.
“How do you grow them to be so perfect?” She asks, taking another bite from her peach, teeth dragging through the delicate skin.
“Plenty of sun,” Joel shrugs, “Good soil.”
She hums, nods her head in agreement, “Well, thank you for these,” She turns back to the man who has just put the crate in the boot of the car, nodding at him, “I’m sure I’ll be back for more.”
The man offers Joel some money, enough for at least three crates of peaches, but he finds he doesn’t argue, takes it like he did the first lot, slips it into his back pocket. He doesn’t wait for the car to leave, just turns on his heel, heads into his home, praying that her promise to come back was an empty one - if there’s one thing that Joel needs less than a hole in the head right now, it’s a hoity Princess sniffing around.
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minranghae · 1 year
Text
touch | 18+
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》 pairing: c.jongho x f!reader
》 genre: hurt/comfort, smut, fluff
》 warnings: ceo!jongho, grumpy jongho, whiny reader, hurt/comfort, smut, piv, oral (f. receiving), fingering, piv, pet names (princess, baby, etc.), aftercare, makeup sex, age gap (not a major plot point)
》 wc: 4.2k
》 thank you so much for reading this, it's my first full fic that i've written on here!!!!! if i forgot any tags, please lmk :) reblogs are greatly appreciated <3 also, the main song i listened to when i wrote this was versace on the floor by bruno mars
“Jongho, sweetheart, don’t you think you should come to bed now? I think you deserve a break,” you whine as you enter his office, a pout forming on your lips seeing his still, working figure.
You take a moment to admire his features on your way in. His dark hair that perfectly framed his face, those piercing eyes that seemed to cut through you every time he looked at you, and those strong arms you just loved to be wrapped in whenever he hugged you.
Well, that was if he did decide to hug you. Just as strong as his arms is Jongho’s work ethic. Sure, any CEO is bound to be busy. When you’re busy it’s easy to get stressed, and when Jongho gets stressed, it’s as if you don’t exist. He was never super touchy to begin with, but every morning he retreats to his home office without even a hug or a kiss. Just a simple good morning, or sometimes, nothing at all. With Jongho’s already packed schedule and new business plans, it’s clear you weren’t going to get his attention any time soon. But, who would you be if you didn’t at least try to get some from him? 
Making your way to his desk, you prepared yourself to put on your cutest face; wide puppy-dog eyes and a sad lip bite at the ready, but with the way Jongho looked up at you, the only emotion present on your face was nervousness. You could see the dark bags forming under his eyes, seemingly becoming darker by the second, and paired with his furrowed eyebrows, you began to think maybe it would've been better to just cuddle with your teddy bear tonight.
“I-it’s just when you work so hard like this, you don’t seem happy at all, you know? I just want to see you smile again. I know, I know, work is busy and you have deadlines and all that, but can’t you just come sleep with me… just this once? I miss you holding me every night. I feel so lonely, Jongie,” You pleaded with him in your shakiest voice. Maybe that would convince him, if he just saw how desperate you were to spend some time with him. Fidgeting with your hands, you awaited his response. Too anxious to look up at him, you focused your sight on the floor beneath you.
“Y/n, you know I can’t do that right now. It’ll get better, but I really need some quiet right now. So…” He looked at you with pursed lips, then quickly looked back towards the door. A silent signal that it was your time to leave. You weren’t going to let him get rid of you that quickly though. No, he just had to see it your way.
“Jongie, are you sure?” You questioned him with a higher pitch, using the nickname you know he usually melts for. He just leaned forward in his chair, pushing his glasses further up on his nose, trying to regain his focus. He let out a soft hum, acknowledging you, but deciding not to indulge you. 
Soon, you find yourself sneaking behind him, your hands resting on his shoulders. You tried to press a kiss to his cheek, but he shrugged you off quickly with a huff of annoyance.
“Y/n, stop bothering me. I’ve got some really important stuff to catch up with here. Stop being so clingy.” Jongho breathed out, frustration evident in his words.
God, you’re such an idiot. Did you really expect this little plan of yours to work? Jongho is a busy man. You really shouldn’t bother him just because you’re feeling neglected. Sure, the bed is cold at night, but he does so much for you. You wouldn’t have the lifestyle you do without him. If you two hadn’t met that day two years ago, you'd still be a broke college student, struggling to make ends meet. Maybe instead of interrupting him, you should just be thankful for what you have. At the end of the day, at least he’s there.
“Yeah, you’re right,” you whispered, tears welling in your eyes, “I’m sorry for interrupting Jongho. Won’t happen again.”
And with that, you scurried out of the office and back into your shared bedroom. The shared bedroom that was slowly becoming just yours each and every day.
--------
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Your eyes shot open. 
“God, what time is it?” You murmured to yourself, words slurring together. The bright light from your phone nearly blinded you as you checked the clock. It was 3 am. He’s just finishing now? I wish he would get some proper rest.
“Can I come in?” Jongho’s voice broke into the room. He sounded serious. What if he was getting ready to break up with you? After all, Jongho had always been one to cut out unnecessary distractions from his life. Normally you admired that; his determination and drive was nothing short of excellence. His maturity and guidance was what first attracted you to him. But it broke your heart knowing that you were next on his chopping block.
Truth is, Jongho heard you crying. Really, you’re not subtle when you’re upset. He went to check in on you a few hours ago, actually. But when he saw his t-shirt draped over the teddy bear he’d given you months ago, your puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks pressed into said teddy bear, he knew he fucked up. The past few weeks had just been so stressful for him. With a never ending to-do list, Jongho didn’t have much time to think of anything else. 
He did think of you though. He always did. The picture of you two on vacation that sat on his desk never went a day without being picked up to be examined. It was one of the first things you two did together as a couple, and god, he wished he could go back. Jongho normally didn’t show much affection in public, instead opting to keep his cold appearance up. But being there with you was too much for him. It’s like you two were connected at the hip on that vacation. Everywhere you went, Jongho had his hand on your hip or around your shoulders. You just make him so happy, and he loses himself around you. Not that that’s a bad thing.
He never wanted to make you upset. But, he lost track of himself. Of course, that wasn’t an excuse, but maybe if you saw it his way then you’d be able to forgive him. After checking in on you earlier, Jongho devised a plan. He quickly got to work in his office, this time solely focusing on you. He first made a call to an assistant of his, apologizing for the late notice of his request, and asked for a bouquet of flowers. He wanted something sweet and dainty- something that reminded him of you. Thirty minutes later, the assistant showed up with a bouquet of Lily of the Valley flowers, beautifully tied together with green and purple ribbon. Next, Jongho wrote a sweet note, apologizing for his treatment of you over the past couple of weeks. It was always hard for Jongho to express himself verbally, so this would be the best course of action for him. Finally, he had taken off of work for a week, allowing time for him to devote himself completely to you. He swore to himself that wasn’t going to let himself upset you anymore, and it was finally time to show you that.
You looked up at Jongho as he poked his head in from behind the door. His eyes softened as they met yours. He began walking towards you with his hands behind his back, hiding his surprise for you. But with the way you jumped up and just about sprinted to him, it seemed like he was the one in for a surprise.
“Look, I know I messed up Jongho. I’m sorry, I really am! Just, please don’t break up with me,” you looked up at him, guilt wracking every part of your body, “I promise it won’t happen again. I even cleaned up around here! I figured I’d get some of the more unimportant things out of here for you.”
Jongho looked around the room. He noticed the lack of knick knacks you always seemed to bring home with you after a day out. The sheets were changed from the pink floral set that you adored to a plain white set. Everything in the room seemed dull. The only semblance of normalcy left in the room was the teddy bear sitting on the bed.
“I-” Jongho started, not quite realizing what an effect he’d had on you. You were never one to change so easily; it was one of the things he loved about you. This only made him feel worse. Not only that, but the way your voice shook as you talked and the obvious tears swelling in your water lines, Jongho had to stop himself from crying. 
“Sweetheart, I would never break up with you. You know that, right?” he reassured you, pulling out the bouquet and note he’d prepared. Your eyes lit up upon seeing this, confusion and relief swelling in your features simultaneously. 
“Here,” he said, sitting down on the foot of your bed, beckoning you to join him. Just before you could sit next to him though, he patted his leg, signaling you to sit in lap. As you do, his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you in as close to him as possible. He hands you the bouquet and note, allowing you a moment to look at the gift and read the note. As you read it, tears begin to fall down both of your faces. Sure, you felt like you needed to be touched like this, but you didn’t expect it to be as emotional as it was. As for Jongho, the guilt of hurting you had really begun to sting. Seeing you so broken up over a few absent-minded words had confused him at first. But once he finally had you in his arms again, he realized it had been weeks of neglect leading up to this point. He was hurting not only you, but himself, too. He just didn’t know he was doing it.
“I’m so sorry, honey. I never meant to hurt you like this,” he explained, wiping the tears away from your face and simply letting his own soak into his skin. His hands raked through your hair gently while he admired your face. “Never gonna let it happen again. Can’t believe I let this go for so long.”
“S’okay, Jongie,” you stammered out between soft cries. You tightened your arms around his neck even more, fingers gripping at shirt, as if he was going to leave any second. “I understand you’ve got a lot on your plate.”
“Princess, you’ll always be number one on my list. You’re my top priority,” he said, finally regaining his composure and moving you to straddle him. Taking the gifts from your hands, he gently placed them to the side and took your face into his hands. He circled his thumbs on your cheeks, quietly asking you to stop crying. 
“I missed this, Jongho. I just love you so much. I’m sorry I’m such a burden sometimes-” but before you could continue, he cut you off.
“Don’t apologize. I’m the one that should be sorry,” he looked deep into your eyes, making sure you internalized each word he said, “and I am. I’m so sorry, baby. I know how much you care, and I want you to know how much I care, too. I love you so, so much, darling. I know I’m not the best with my words, so will you let me make it up to you another way?” Jongho questioned, his fingers tracing the edge of your pajama shorts, occasionally sneaking underneath the fabric. His eyes met yours, looking needier than ever. 
With your nod of approval, Jongho lifted your shirt off your body, exposing your bare chest. His hands were quick to touch you, rubbing and pulling lightly at each nipple. You leaned into him further with each touch, and soon, your lips connected in a sweet, tender kiss. Jongho only deepened the kiss as he let his hands run freely over your body, as if he were rediscovering a terrain that he had begun to forget. His hands snuck inside your shorts, past the band of your underwear, and began to rub soft circles into your clit. Occasionally, his fingers would briefly slip into your hole, gathering some of your slick to use as a lubricant, still circling your clit at a steady pace.
Jongho pressed his forehead against yours in order to catch your attention, “How do you want me, baby?”
“Doesn’t matter, just want you, Jongie,” you babbled, so desperate for him to go faster with his ministrations. Your hips bucked onto his fingers each time they left your clit, hoping he’d slip a finger fully in.
“Mm-mm,” he hummed, “It’s all about you tonight. Tell me what you want, sweetheart,” he insisted. Awaiting a response, he pulled his hand from your shorts, eliciting a whine from you. He hooked his arms under your legs, picking you up and laying you down on the bed. Gently, he pulled your shorts and underwear off together in one go. You could almost see the sparkle in his eyes as they traversed your body. He leaned down leaving just inches between your faces, “You gonna answer me, baby?”
“I think I want your tongue-” you began, but before you could finish, Jongho had pulled you to the edge of the bed and kneeled down, coming face to face with your cunt. He lifted your bottom half up, placing one forearm under you and the other on top, letting your legs rest on top of his shoulders. He let one thumb come to your clit, picking up from where he left off earlier. It didn’t take him long to dive into your pussy. Lapping at it like a starved man, he’d drag his tongue up and down your soaked cunt, occasionally dipping his tongue into you. With each drag of his tongue, you could feel yourself getting closer to a release, but everytime Jongho heard an influx of moaning and felt your hips buck up, he’d slow down slightly, not wanting you to cum just yet.
“So pretty, princess,” He said, coming up for air. His mouth and chin glistened as he smiled up at you with nothing but affection. It was as if he were touching you for the first time all over again. He was trying to take things slow, wanting to solely focus on making you feel good, but he couldn’t help but rut himself into the mattress when he heard those sweet moans of yours. He removed his hand from your clit, bringing it down to your hole instead. He toyed at your entrance, not quite deciding if he should go in or not.
“Please Jongie, want your fingers, too.”
And his mind was made up. He plunged two fingers in, focusing his mouth on your clit now. Your pussy basically sucked his fingers in, a sloshing noise coming from it. Jongho watched your face contort in pleasure. Your eyebrows strung together and your cheeks stained with a light blush. What a sight to see. It only made him want to work you harder. Shoving his fingers in up to the knuckle this time, he pistoned in and out of you, occasionally twisting them upwards to press his fingertips into your most sensitive spots. He just couldn’t get enough of how amazing your pussy felt; so soft, warm, and wet. So perfect for him.
“Gonna cum, Jong…So close” you whined out, pleasure filling every inch of your body. It was like he was sent into overdrive, his soft licking at your clit turned into harsh sucking at it, lips surrounding the bud completely. His fingers fucked into you at a pace you’d yet to feel in your life. It was desperate on both ends, each of you melting completely into one another’s touch.
Jongho had almost missed it, too focused on getting you there to notice your quickly approaching orgasm. He lifted his head up to watch you cum, as it had always been one of his favorite sights. The way your head slammed back into the mattress and your back arched up, sending your tits into the air for him to admire made him swear up and down that you were an angel sent for him. Giving you time to come down, he listened to the warbled sounds coming from you and collected the slick that was slowly leaking out of you onto his fingers and pushed it back into you.
“Jesus Christ, I missed that,” Jongho said with a groan, standing up to hold you in his arms. He lifted your back up so you were now sitting on the edge of the bed with him still slotted in between your legs. He brushed some strands of hair out of your face, his hand coming down to trace your jawline. He brought your face up to his and stole a couple kisses from you. You nudged your face into his hand, hoping somehow it could stay there forever. Something about his touch was always so grounding.
“Still okay to keep going, sweetheart?” He looked down at you, hoping to get the greenlight from you. 
You don't answer verbally, instead choosing to undo the buckle of his belt, using it to bring him in closer to you. As you unzip his pants and pull them down, his cock springs out, nearly hitting you in the face. Your tongue poked out of your mouth, getting ready to devour him until you felt his hands on your shoulders.
“I’m gonna take that as a yes then. Lay back, baby. Gonna take such good care of you tonight.” He gently pushed you back, noticing a look of concern on your face. 
“What? What’s wrong?” He said, slightly panicked.
“Don’t you want me to… you know,” You said, making a blowjob motion towards him. 
God, you’re so cute.
“Darling, I’m making it up to you, aren’t I? You don’t have to do anything tonight, just let me make you feel good.” A smirk adorned his face, enamored with how sweet you are. His hands traced up and down your sides, a gentle, but steadying motion. 
You reached your arms up, looping them around his neck to pull him into a kiss. It was chaste, quick and simple, but so passionate. It was as if you were kissing him for the first time again. You let his tongue explore your mouth, enjoying the low groan he let out as he did so. Barely breaking away, you looked into his eyes, deep and glistening, and asked, “Can I have you inside me now? Want’ to feel you inside.”
That was all he needed to hear before he lined himself up with your entrance, pumping his cock a few times before he did so. He teasingly dragged the tip up and down your folds before sinking into you. It was slow, but languid. He wanted you to feel every part of him, every vein and curve on him, just to remind you that you’d never have to go without again. His voice was low and throaty as he bottomed out, letting soft moans fall from his lips. 
“Baby girl, you feel so good,” he stops, waiting for you to adjust to the size. Once ready, he pulls his hips back achingly slowly, almost pulling out all the way, just to force himself back in. Your fingers curled into his hair and your legs wrapped around his waist, begging for him to be deeper in you. 
“Love feeling you inside like this, Jongie,” you whine, “please keep going.” 
“Don’t worry, baby,” he assured you, “never gonna leave you alone again.” 
He took your face into his hands, planting kisses all over your face. His hips pick up their pace, hitting your sensitive spot repeatedly. While his pace was still slow, it was steady and deep. Jongho wasn’t fucking you to get himself off, he was fucking you to get you off. And god it felt so good. As his hips continued to snap into yours, the loud sound of skin on skin echoing in the room, you could feel yourself coming close to your climax. And you knew Jongho was almost there, too, based on the wince he let out each time he thrusted into you. 
“I’m so close, Jongie, are you?” You asked, the heat burning in your core only getting warmer. He nodded, unable to speak through his own groaning. He planted one hand by your head to steady himself while the other took yours into his, lacing your fingers together. Even though his orgasm was slowly approaching, he wanted you to cum first. He forgot how much he loved the way it felt when you came on him. 
Staring down at you, Jongho quickened his thrusts, making sure to hit that spot deep inside you that he knew felt so good. Over and over again, harder and harder. It sent a rush of electricity through your body, limbs shaking and back arching as your orgasm washed over you. He loved how your cunt clenched down on him, a warm rush of arousal pooling around the base of his cock. 
“That was so good, princess. Such a sweet girl,” Jongho barely let out, “Think I’m gonna come now, too.”
“Want it inside me, Jongho.” 
That was enough to send him over the edge. His hips rutted into yours desperately. Spilling his seed into you, he stopped thrusting and just sat there for a moment, basking in the warmth around him. His forehead pressed against yours, noses nudging together and eyes staring into each other with great affection. 
“You forgive me yet?” He pulled out, eliciting a whine from you. 
“I forgave you when I saw the flowers,” you chuckled, sitting up on your elbows. Jongho flopped down next to you. His chest rose and fell shallowly, trying to regain some of his breath. 
“I figured,” he looked at you, eyes gleaming with joy, “but it was still nice, right?” 
“Of course it was. I love it every time, you know that. And I missed it so much, you don’t even know.”
“Baby, I don’t even think I knew how much I needed it,” he pulled you into him, his hand massaging into the skin of your hip, “I know I said this, but I’m never gonna leave you like that again, got it?” You returned a simple nod, too tired to answer verbally. 
“Ready to get cleaned up?” You answered again with a nod, sleep already seeping into your bones. Jongho left the room, heading to the bathroom to clean himself up and fill up the tub. Not long after, he came back for you, pulling you up into his arms to carry you to the bathroom. Checking the water temperature and deciding it was alright, he placed you into the tub. It was silent between you two, but that’s what you liked about aftercare with him. You didn’t need words to bring you back to your normal mindset, his touch was always enough.
His hands massaged your shoulders, knocking every knot and tight spot out of your body. They moved down your body, working until he could confidently say you wouldn’t feel sore in the morning. He then went on to take a washcloth to your body, scrubbing the sweat and other body fluids off of you, paying extra attention to the insides of your thighs. During all of this, he gently hummed one of your favorite songs. It was a ritual for him to care for you like this. It made him feel good, like he protected you like no one else could. Sure, he was always working, but when he was working to please you, it made him feel so much more important. 
Once finished cleaning you off, he drained the tub. Turning his attention back to you, he planted a kiss to your forehead and helped you out of the tub. You purred as he wrapped a warm towel around you, pulling you in for a hug. The two of you stayed there for a moment, just swaying in each other’s arms. 
He didn’t want to say anything to ruin the quiet atmosphere in the bathroom, so instead he hooked a finger under your chin, pulling your face up to look at his. He placed a tender kiss to your lips, knowing that you’d understand just how much he cared for you in that moment. 
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dykeyaoi · 11 months
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I feel like a lot of fanon tends to miss what seem to be three pretty crucial things about Teru, and it's weird because they are easy to miss, but they're also so important that without them he's very superficial. it's part of why he gets so yassified almost every time he's adapted (see: manga into anime into fancontent)
one is that this kid is smart. on my first watch of his debut arc I assumed he was psychically cheating to be one of Black Vinegar's top students. now though I don't think so: firstly, I'll admit, because he doesn't actually seem to have a way to do that except blackmailing other kids for answers or something; but secondly because throughout the series he's just good at figuring stuff out. he picks up complicated psychic techniques more quickly and frequently than anyone else, including Mob. he was the one who almost beat Shimazaki. he figured out that Psycho Helmet was Dimple from the fact that he was a spirit who knew Teru's name, not a lot of info to go on. he draws conclusions in the somewhat haphazard but very clever way a detective does.
two, he's motivated so much by anger. this one's something of a hot take but it's so there to me that I can't leave it out if I'm Teruposting. before meeting Mob yeah he thought he was special and important for having powers but he was also extremely lonely and subconsciously mad at everyone else for not having them. he's the only one who has to deal with Claw he's the only one who has to live alone because his powers make it dangerous for his parents, he's the only one strong enough to be the shadow leader. he'll do it because he's the Protagonist but god he's gonna be pissed the whole time. it's not what he wants (we only get to see what he wants later with Mob and Reigen and everyone else) but it's all he has for a long time. seventh division shows the intersection between I Should Be Satisfied Now Teru and I'm Better Than These Guys Teru very nicely
last and kind of most important is his thing for Mob. I absolutely believe ONE wrote Teru to be queer and he definitely had or has a crush on Shigeo, but I also think that at least part of said crush is him misconstruing his adoration and the pedestal he's put his friend on. until after the Confession Arc, the two of them getting together would be really tricky and probably not good. Mob still feels bad about what he did at Black Vinegar for most of the rest of season one, and the only reason Teru changed in the first place was because of the cavernous gap in power between the two of them. until he declares Shigeo his rival and realizes that he has faults and any destruction he causes isn't perfectly righteous, Teru can't love him.
there's as much to his character as there is to the other main characters, and I get the easy appeal of the flattened version of him but when he's flanderized into this sparkly gayboy who's also sad sometimes, it makes me sad.
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