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willspoemsforliving · 6 years

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SUICIDE: Is it a Sickness or a Choice?

SUICIDE: IS IT A SICKNESS OR A CHOICE? June 2018 As so often happens, with our attention spans constantly shrinking, the media competition requires we be drawn into every event that occurs during any given day. The consequences of this have been discussed at length elsewhere, and are well known – though we appear to be doing absolutely nothing to correct this growing threat to any continuity in our society. I mention the media as it brought to our collective attention - like it or not - the suicide this week of two relatively engaging, but frankly minor celebrities. Two suicides in this group doesn’t really merit the “Breaking News” headline. In fact, an argument could be made that it is vulgar and a sign of disrespect for the concerned individuals that such a fuss was made about it. But since no one seems to care much about discretion or propriety anymore, the issue that does deserve our attention and which relates to both these individuals, is not so much them, but their suicide. Suicide has been rejected in most Judeo-Christian-Islamic cultures as a sin, essentially taking from God the life he gave us, without his permission. In many pre-Christian, indigenous cultures, ritual suicide was widely viewed as a generous act designed to either placate an angry god or ensure his benevolence going forward. A prized citizen would be called upon to sacrifice their lives for the collective good. So, it would be an error to start from the premise that suicide has always been something to be avoided by all cultures. There are other instances when individuals find themselves in situations where they are left with a choice – to save themselves or others. Military heroes have committed a form of suicide and are honored for it. Parents can find themselves in situations where they say, and may indeed execute, on their willingness to give their lives for that of their children or spouse. Religious martyrs are another example, interestingly elevated to sainthood by the very institution which forbids sacrificing oneself – unless the sacrifice is designed to benefit the sanctioning institution. So, it becomes obvious that once again, our penchant for oversimplification has resurfaced. It is quite possible that our societal aversion to suicide may reflect our endemic narcissism, and the culture of self-gratification which has replaced any notion of self-sacrifice, manifesting itself in an exaggerated sense of self-worth along with a similarly exaggerated sense of fragility. Governments usually disapprove of suicide, as it does abortion and euthanasia., some even going so far as to view contraception as somehow contravening God’s law. In my view, governments want order, and suicide is the ultimate rebellion of a citizen. It also reflects poorly on the statistical record of an administration if suicides are on the rise. Interestingly, to better control the population, and any penchant a segment may have for suicide – often due to external circumstances related to diverse forms of hopelessness – the issue has been medicalized. And once this has been accomplished, suicide becomes a form of preventable disease, treatable with different forms of behavioral and pharmaceutical therapies. Lost in this wave of official good intentions, is the very reason why an individual has arrived at a state of despair such that leaving this world appears to be a more attractive option than remaining in it. Even if explored, it is done superficially for questions of cost, collaboration and demand. Of course, there are serious interests at stake here, including careers, huge sums of public and private money, institutions, insurance companies, social services, prevention services, philanthropic organizations, researchers, public health officials, and the list goes on. Their goal is, of course, to provide assistance. But as often happens in this area, the goal becomes as much the development of the institution as the assistance they may provide. In my early days as a psychotherapist, I had a patient who was referred to me by a neurologist for chronic depression. She was a school teacher, in her fifties, born in harsh and rural circumstances, with an extremely cold and terrifying father who banished all forms of affection, tenderness, warmth from her life. Education allowed her to escape her family, and she became a primary school teacher in a small city not far from where she grew up. She had become a lesbian – not surprising given the forbidding nature of the men she was exposed to – though an immature, quite naïve and idealistic one. Central to her problem was the face that all forms of pleasure had been excised from her life, and though she missed closeness, joy, connection, and could talk about their absence, she was incapable of forming any mature relationship. When I first met her, the friendship she had shared with a fellow teacher over a number of years had come to an end, as my patient wasn’t able to step out of her impossible fantasy of unrequited love, and into some form of reality where a reciprocal friendship could develop. I saw her for about two years, and she was a reliable participant – at least in terms of keeping her appointments. But beyond that, all forms of constructive thought were simply not available to her. And though we discussed this at length, and she was fully aware of the problem, her identity had become so entwined with a self-image based on poverty, frustration, absence of pleasure, unrequited love, that for her to change, her entire life story would have to be rewritten. Her early life experience had become her destiny, a self-fulfilling prophesy from which she simply could not free herself. To do so would erase her identity, her sense of self as all suffering, deserving of nothing. And the prospect of that was more frightening than any other. She was self-aware enough to realize this, and pragmatic enough to see that at her age, with her attitude, experience, and almost happily failing health, there were to be no second acts for her. What she believed from the start was now manifest, opening the door to the next step. The question then became what were they? Since continuing to suffer as a reason for her existence was achieved, it appeared on an exit could offer her to affirmation and freedom life had denied her. Why, you might wonder, continue? I felt at the time that I was a source of fresh air for her, and that it kept her going. And as long as she continued to come, I believed that she had not yet eliminated all options for herself. Rather abruptly, she disappeared. I became concerned, tried calling her, all to no avail. After a short while, I contacted the neurologist who had referred her to me, who was also my friend, to alert him to the situation, and ask his opinion as to the opportunity of alerting the police to this possible suicide. His attitude was more detached, more rational than mine. In essence, he said that she was never going to change, that the purpose of her life had been set, and it was to be perennially unhappy. She knew this too. So, from his perspective, and he articulated it in unmistakable terms, if she was so inclined, and had no further desire to endure her existence, then suicide might be, in fact, the best solution. I was taken aback by this, caught up in the collective mindset that all suicides must be prevented – but never questioned how valid this assumption was. For her to kill herself would be a failure of mine - or so I thought at the time. But the real failure was not to see what she was really doing - tying off loose ends, getting ready for her exit - on her terms.. Other authors have raised this issue in more depth than I will do here, and some have come to a similar conclusion as my neurologist friend. There may indeed come a time in a person’s life when hope can cannot be renewed, when continuing becomes the irrational choice, if we manage to see things from their perspective. Our own fear of death gets in the way of understanding that for those for whom life is more a burden than a source of any form of pleasure, our fear is no longer theirs. The obvious question then becomes, by right can our blindness to their true suffering empower us to deprive them of what has always been missing, but can be found in that final moment of affirmation? As we know, most first attempts are calls for help. But for those who choose a definitive, infallable answer, should we not consider their point of view as being at least, if not more, valid than our own. Of course help should be offered whenever asked for. And prevention can be most effective in children and adolescents whose character is insufficiently formed to withstand external events which may be overwhelming for a time. But there are others whose very life set them on a course where they never had a chance to find their place in this world. Where every effort met with defeat (or so it seemed to them), and where for reasons clear to any who care to really acknowledge the suffering, the struggle these people endure for years with little to no respite is indeed heroic in the same way as military heroes choosing their own end to save others, martyrs who die for a greater purpose, saints who give their lives for God - the list is long. There comes a time for these people when all strength fails them, when the prospect of another day in their lives is unbearable, and putting an end to their lives at the time, the place and in the manner they chose, can be completely liberating. The problem comes from the outside, where because we fear our own death, we think we are protecting our own by forcing others to live. The medical profession has embraced the mental health perspective, where every life should be saved, no matter the cost, not to society, but to the individual. It can be, for the concerned individual, worse than a life sentence in prison, for at least there, they would know where they belong. You can prop them up, solve all their practical problems, and still, their sense of self is so closely tied to defeat, that suicide can become the only salvation. Are these people sick? Should they be obligated to be medicated so that whatever life force they may still have is suppressed so the strength required to end their lives with some dignity is taken from them. And the final statement whereby they decide where, how and when they will leave what, for them, has always been a vail of tears is denied. I have published a book recently, available on Amazon.com, addressing this issue from the perspective of a very personal experience with a young man I tried to help. If you want to see exactly what I mean, under which circumstances someone can reach a point where either madness or suicide will rescue them from their daily hell, you might want to read it. * In closing, Think about some of the arbitrary positions societies have taken in its own self interest. Consider the suffering, often in silence, some individuals are called upon to endure, and through no fault of their own. Feel their plight, a condition where they have struggled all their lives, to no avail, and finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Is if really for others to define an individual’s right to finally claim their own dignity, freedom, and ability to choose? Should we go so far, be so consequential, as to offer these people an infallible, humane way to leave this world? I’m not sure, for to do so, would institutionalize the decision, impose evaluations, consultations, regulations, and a burdensome administrative process which would remove all dignity and respect from the process. Just look at what we are doing with abortion clinics and Planned Parenthood in some states. Is there an easy answer? In a sense, yes. Help whenever requested, whenever needed, and not just in the moment. Rare is a brief push sufficient, and to set someone already on the way down to a new failure is beyond cruel. But I don’t believe it is either humane or even right to stigmatize what may be a final act, and not as desperate as we portray it, of self-affirmation. Insofar as no one chooses one’s own destiny, if the cards one has drawn offer only a losing hand, how is it unreasonable or some sign of mental illness (debunked by the latest statistics which suggest that 54% of suicides have no record of any mental health issue, though rejected by the prevention community as misleading), to realize, being in full possession of one’s means, that it's time to pick up one's chips and leave the game? For good.

*THE LEFTOVERS OF GOD'S ANGER - The Chris Chronicles https://www.amazon.com/s?field-keywords=leftovers+of+God%27s+Anger

#Psycholgoy #Suicide #Psychotherapy #Mental Health #Mental Illness #A choice #Individual Right to Die

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phynxrizng · 7 years

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FOR THE WEEK OF MONDAY, MAR 27TH, 2017

General Horoscope A New Moon in Aries on Monday offers the potential for you to begin whatever it is you want to succeed most --including efforts to improve your relationship.

With Venus still retrograde in Aries, this lunation has special connections to ending old, outworn patterns in love in order to make room for new. Venus retrogrades into Pisces on Sunday, where she'll remain until turning direct on April 15. Now it's time to retreat into your fantasy world concerning matters of the heart. Decide if you're being optimistic, or delusional.

Aries Horoscope MAR 21 – APR 19

You're determined to succeed at life, love, and the pursuit of happiness. But you still have a few kinks to work through in order to fully define what all of this means to you and which path you want to take in order to get there.

Fortunately, a New Moon in your sign on Monday will help you fine tune your personal directive. After Sunday, you'll begin to banish all of the unrealistic notions you have about your love life once and for all.

Taurus Horoscope APR 20 – MAY 20

You'll have a much easier time communicating to your partner after Friday. Mercury will move into your sign, and at this time you'll also notice a stronger need to mentally engage with your love.

Now is the time to talk about your needs -- especially the physical and material ones. You might also use your partner as a sounding board while you're thinking out loud. Flesh out plans and know that your partner will be a stronger support as you do so. Nice!

Gemini Horoscope MAY 21 – JUN 20

There's great news if you have been experiencing trouble in your social life recently. A New Moon in your friendship sector on Monday will help you initiate changes in the way you relate to others. You'll gain the courage to explore new friendships or social settings -- especially if you feel as if you've outgrown other relationships. In terms of love, if you have been going through a roller coaster situation with a friend you share chemistry with, this week that drama should begin to resolve itself.

Cancer Horoscope JUN 21 – JUL 22

After Friday your social life will receive a boost. At this time Mercury will move into your friendship sector, allowing you to enjoy a stronger level of intellectual stimulation between you and pals. You'll also receive more invitations to go out and enjoy parties, meetings, or other events. This will surely help you meet new dating prospects if you're single. If turns do meet anyone, try not to begin an actual relationship until after April 15 when Venus stations direct. Until then, take it slow.

Leo Horoscope JUL 23 – AUG 22

You might feel a new zest for learning this week. Unfortunately, you may also feel as if your sweetheart doesn't fully understand why you are so excited about expanding your horizons and embarking on a new spiritual or educational journey. Perhaps he or she is afraid that the more you grow as a person, the more likely you are to outgrow the relationship. This may or may not be true, but it's certainly not a reason to stifle your individuality. If possible, help your love understand this.

Virgo Horoscope AUG 23 – SEP 22

You and your partner may finally resolve an intimacy barrier that has prevented you from enjoying the most mutually satisfying sex life together. It all has to do with emotional vulnerability and trust. Somehow, it appears that the two of you may have become blocked. Over time it has led to a certain disconnect that has become the elephant in the room during lovemaking. Fortunately, you'll be able to attack it head on together after Monday. Open up to each other. You won't regret it.

Libra Horoscope SEP 23 – OCT 22

You and your partner have been doing a great deal of work to improve your relationship lately. With Venus moving retrograde in your relationship sector since March 4, it hasn't always been easy. The two of you have had to confront any demons within your partnership. Thankfully, your commitment to this process will likely pay off. This Monday a glorious New Moon will help you clear the decks and start fresh as a couple.

Scorpio Horoscope OCT 23 – NOV 21

The ability your mate has to talk to you will likely improve this week, leading to much more enjoyable conversations. Not only will you feel a mental spark, but you may also find that this shift affects your physical relationship. You'll notice that your partner finds it easier to communicate his or her sensual needs which will undoubtedly have you more engaged during your intimate moments. Another perk? You'll be able to make solid decisions about finances and other practical matters.

Sagittarius Horoscope NOV 22 – DEC 21

Since March 4 Venus has been traveling retrograde through your true love sector. This phenomenon has revealed a host of dust mites connected to your love life that you've been trying to ignore. Clearly, it was time for a major clean up. This week, although Venus will still be retrograde, you'll have an opportunity to notice how far you've come in this journey. A promising New Moon in the same part of your chart will occur on Monday, and you'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Capricorn Horoscope DEC 22 – JAN 19

If you're single, this week you may offer the opportunity to talk to more interesting dating prospects. Mercury will enter your true love sector on Friday. As a result, you might strike up conversations with just about anyone you find appealing. This will be a perfect weekend to schedule a first date with someone so that you can really get to know him or her. You might end up talking into the wee hours of the morning.

Aquarius Horoscope JAN 20 – FEB 18

You and your sweetheart might begin to have a lot more discussions centered on home and family matters. If you recently started to date, it's possible that you'll ask your love to attend a family event with you and finally meet your clan. Another possibility is that you will begin discussing where your relationship is heading. Can you envision moving in together at some point ... or even starting a family? Don't be surprised when these topics begin to come up during conversation. It's a good sign.

Pisces Horoscope FEB 19 – MAR 20

Venus has been retrograde since March 4. As a result, you have become more aware of how much you may rely on your lover to validate you as a person. If your self-esteem is closely tied to your relationship, after Sunday you may have quite an uncomfortable awakening. Venus will backtrack in your sign to finish her retrograde. Until April 15 you'll have an opportunity to ponder why you may feel so unworthy unless you're half of a couple. Expect enlightenment. Then, expect change

Source, Tarot.com

Reposted by, PHYNXRIZNG

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