#torn apart was real 😢 (it doesn't help that I myself tend to have this image of ships that make me develop some sort of affection

[woofety]

I'm the literal (well more like visual) embodiment of the surprised Pikachu meme for being surprised about the fact that Endurance is making me suffer, what was I even expecting honestly

#I wonder #I'm finally reading the book Endurance by Alfred Lansing - I've been wanting to do it for quite some time and I bought it recently #only for letting it collect dust in my library until I picked it up on a whim on a beautiful afternoon few days ago #only for letting it collect dust in my library for a while until I picked it up on a whim on a beautiful afternoon some days ago #that allowed me to finally go read in the garden under the cherry tree 😊 #this is my favourite period of the year to stay outside because it's not exactly warm #but not even so cold that one can't bear it with just a little more clothing on #and most importantly little to no bugs yet - sorry but those little buggers annoy me #no matter how important they are for the environment 😆 #I could also go for a walk in the park and take the book with me #but I already dealt with people around enough for the week and I wanted a couple of hours outside on my own #it was literally a couple of hours because of a sudden squall but it was still a pleasant time #if not for the fact that I was reading this book - I mean I really enjoyed my time and I'm loving how it is written so far #but it's still a lot for obvious reasons #the description of the ship's 'agony' gradually destroyed by the ice seems almost the one of a living creature's slow death #even the author compares her final moments to a dying animal's and it should be absurd to somehow feel for a ship #when there are men (and dogs) fighting for their survival but still the pang in my heart whenever the ship was mentioned #torn apart was real 😢 (it doesn't help that I myself tend to have this image of ships that make me develop some sort of affection #for them - like it's a home and a refuge that could take you anywhere you wish and 'shield' you from the troubles on land #in the book it is mentioned how shackleton was eager to set sail because on board life somehow was easier #than all he had to go through to collect funds and organize the expedition - I know I view ships and life on sea more 'romantically' #and clearly not as accurately than the kind of life it actually is without even having experienced it first hand #but idk just let me have this ok 😁) #in any case the shipwreck was only the beginning of the story in the book and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope with what will happen next #despite already knowing the general story #the fact that it's a real story makes it far worse and even if the portrayal of the men's journey is fairly descriptive and vivid #it's impossible to fathom what an ordeal that must have been #on a lighter note I don't know if the reports are actually truthful but the way shackleton interviewed his future crew is so funnily bizarre #it almost sounds like fiction even if the book is actually based on real accounts and testimonies #shackleton must have been truly a character