#and clearly not as accurately than the kind of life it actually is without even having experienced it first hand

[bluebeary-jay]

Face to face

Din Djarin x f!Mandalorian!Reader

Summary: as riduurs, you and Din can finally show your faces to each other without suffering any consequences. but when the time finally comes, your insecurities and fears of rejection come into play, threatening to ruin this important moment

Tags: just pure tooth-rotting fluff, Din and Reader being insecure, they're sweethearts though and so in love, Din being a supporting husband <3, mandalorian customs are probably half-accurate but i did my best in research 😌

Word count: 3K

A/N: haiii guys!! long time no see 🤗 i had this idea ever since i watched s2 of the mandalorian almost a month ago and i'm finally done! thank you to all who stick around and i really hope you'll enjoy my first attempt at writing din (feel free to let me know what you think 🤭)! i love all of you darlings 🥰 and as always, happy reading!! 💕

Din Djarin wouldn’t ever admit it to anyone, but he always wanted a family. The memories of his parents were hazy, but he remembered how much they loved each other and in the depths of his soul longed for a connection like this someday. Being the bounty hunter didn’t give many opportunities to look for a relationship, however, and with time he abandoned the hope for a place and people he could call home. He convinced himself that he was content being on his own.

But then the Child came along, and with it everything has changed. This little wrinkly womp rat became the most precious being in his life and Din was ready to die to protect Grogu – but he never expected that he’d also meet his future riduur because of the kid.

He did. You, a fellow Mandalorian Din spoke to only a couple of times in the hideout on Nevarro, decided to help him on his quest, and from this moment on he didn’t stand a chance. You were everything Djarin admired – brave, compassionate, skillful and kind – and though you both respected the Way of the Mandalore and never removed your helmets in each other’s presence, he knew in his soul that you were beautiful as well.

It was a long road to come to terms with what he felt for you and gather the courage to actually let you know it. But it was all worth it just for this moment when you exchanged your vows and he officially became yours, and you his. Now you were his riduur and he finally had every right to admire and cherish you like you deserved.

And most importantly, he could finally see you. The pair of you talked about this moment a lot during the nights spent on the Crest, tangling your fingers together when the ship was flooded with pitch-black darkness. Din used to whisper to you of his dreams, how he longed to run his eyes over your uncovered body, taking his time to commit to memory every little detail of your physique and expressions. You, with a giddy and wistful tone, told him how impatient you were to at last find out how his lips would feel on yours and what color his eyes were. Even when you both knew you were going to marry, you didn’t rush things and never removed your helmets until your union became official.

But you did see each other’s faces, once, though not in a conventional way. Din remembered it clearly as a day, though his eyes – as well as yours – were covered by a piece of a material the entire time. Both of you were desperate for each other that night, the tension hanging above your heads straining the resolve about waiting. And then came the moment when you didn’t fight it anymore. Instead, you both sat down on Din’s cot and without your sense of sight spent the next hour talking and trailing fingertips down each other’s faces.

Din reminisced about this moment a lot of times. He tried to remember the shape of your features to create a full picture of you in his mind while he laid alone in his bed, longing for your vicinity. Even if your bodies were separated only by the layers of beskar, it was still too far for him.

He didn’t have to wait any longer now.

It was the day of your wedding and Din Djarin never felt happier than in that moment when you recited Mandalorian vows and he got to touch your bare hand again, not covered by a glove, to put a custom-made ring on your finger. It wasn’t a necessary but he wanted to make this day memorable and meaningful for you. A few tears of joy were shed, but his face was still concealed by the helmet, allowing his emotions to take hold of him.

He hadn’t let go of your hand since the small ceremony (if one could even call it that) ended, and you squeezed his palm every few steps as you walked toward a house that was going to be your home for the next couple of days. The Child was being taken care of by other Mandalorians so that you could be completely alone for this special moment.

You were buzzing with excited energy for the whole week prior to your wedding, but now Din could sense his partner’s nervousness. He wasn’t exactly surprised – after all, it has been years for both of you since anyone saw you without your helmet on. But with every moment that you neared the bedroom, you seemed more insular, more withdrawn and hesitant, and Din started to really worry.

“Are you okay, cyar’ika (darling)?”

You slowed down, not answering right away, which caused Din to furrow his brows with confusion. Maybe you didn’t want to do it after all? Maybe it was too sudden for you? Or maybe he came off as too eager?

“Cyar’ika,” he repeated softly, wanting to put you at ease – but it didn’t seem to meet the target. “If you’re not ready…”

“No. No, I’m ready. I just…”

You trailed off. Din wordlessly guided you to the edge of the bed, cradling your hands in his – one gloved one and one not. The light of the setting sun flowed in through the small window and reflected off the hard beskar you both wore, bathing your figure in a beautiful golden light.

He was already so in love with you. What could possibly be the cause of your hesitation?

“I’m just nervous,” you murmured at last with your head bowed, looking at your joined hands. “I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“Disappointed?” the Mandalorian repeated before he could think, and shook his head slightly. “What are you… What are you talking about? Why would I ever be?”

You lifted your gaze, and though Din couldn’t see your eyes, he could almost feel the weight of your fears on his own shoulders. The modulator in your helmet was hiding any trace of it, but he knew you long enough to recognize the tiniest shift in your body language.

“Ner kar’ta (my heart). I could never be disappointed with you.” He laced his fingers with yours, once again admiring how perfectly they fit together, and lifted them to his chest. “You own my heart and soul now, and nothing will change that.”

He hoped to soothe your nerves, but you were still silent. It wasn’t at all what Mando was expecting from this evening and he was at a loss for what to do to fix it.

“Would it help if I showed you my face first?” he asked after some time, and your head snapped up.

“No.” Even with the modulator, your voice clearly sounded broken and regretful, and it was wounding Din more than anything else could. “We were supposed to do it together.”

“We can,” he assured quietly, swiping his thumb over your knuckles. “But the most important thing to me… is for you to feel comfortable during it. If you want to wait–”

“I don’t.” You untangled your hands from his hold and instead brought them to his chest, placing them on the beskar breastplate. He couldn’t wait to take it off and feel your touch on his skin. “If I wasn’t sure, I wouldn’t marry you and make you my riduur.”

You leaned forward and lightly bonked your helmets together, a sweet gesture Din loved since the first time you did it.

“Ni kar’tayl gar darasuum or’atu an mayen. (I love you more than anything.) More than life itself.”

“I know,” he answered simply and delicately brought your hands to the edges of his helmet. It was obvious what he was offering you. “That’s why I’m willing to do it for you.”

You were still, not daring to move, and Din nodded slightly to show you that he’s certain of his decision. His heart was beating heavily in his chest, though, and he could feel sweat forming on the back of his neck.

Showing your face to others was one of the worst crimes in Mandalorian culture, but doing it with your riduur was the highest honor that not everyone was fortunate enough to experience. But Din Djarin was among the lucky ones. Even though it was not in a way he always imagined, he didn’t care as long as you were happy.

You gripped the edges of his helmet tighter and a high hiss sounded, a telltale sign that the metal piece was ready to be removed. And slowly – so very slowly – you did. Din felt a flow of cooler air on his hot skin: first his chin, then his cheeks, finally his forehead…

And lastly, he inhaled shakily before lifting his head to look into the void of your visor.

A second passed by. Then two. Then ten, though Din felt like it must’ve been a full minute now. And still you didn’t move, just watched him silently, motionless as a statue.

The Mandalorian swallowed with difficulty, starting to feel very self-conscious. The crisp air cooled the sweat gathering on the nape of his neck and he had to use all his self-control not to fiddle his fingers nervously. He felt so naked and exposed under your gaze, though he absolutely shouldn’t – you were his riduur and there was no reason to feel ashamed or insecure with you. But he couldn’t help worrying: what if he wasn’t what you expected? What if you didn’t find him attractive at all?

Then a movement of your hands drew his attention and he watched, transfixed, as you slowly started to take off your glove, tugging one finger off at a time. Once your hand was freed from the confines of the protective material, you flexed your fingers before lifting both of your palms to his face.

Even though Din was acutely aware of your every move, he still somehow flinched in surprise at your touch, causing you to freeze and search his eyes with the air of concern around you. He quickly gave you a small nod, silently begging you to proceed, and, thankfully, you did. Your fingertips traced his cheeks, so delicately it almost tickled, brushing down the path to his stubble, and then back up to the arch of his nose and eyebrows. Djarin’s eyelids fluttered closed and he let out a shaky breath, giving in to the most amazing sensation that your touch was.

“I knew you had to be the most beautiful being in the galaxy,” you whispered from under your helmet with a voice filled with a plethora of raw emotions. Din regretted not being able to see your face at that moment, but if it would help you feel more comfortable in such a memorable and important situation, he was ready to do anything for you.

“I’m sure you’re a million times more radiant, cyar’ika,” he said back. His voice was weirdly weak and raspy, sounding strangely to him – probably because he knew there was another person hearing him without his helmet on. “Even if I don’t see your face, mesh’la (beautiful), today or ever… The love I have for you will never change or waver. That I promise.”

“It won’t exactly be fair to the Creed if I don’t remove my helmet in front of my husband,” you answered, half-teasing, but Din knew there was a real worry behind your words.

“You know very well there’s nothing said about it in the Creed.” He opened his eyes, offering you a small smile. “And I don’t remember our vows mentioning it, either.”

You clicked your tongue with exasperation, but Din also saw your shoulders relaxing, a sign that some of your nerves ebbed away.

“Gev bic (stop it),” you laughed, letting your hand fall down – but before it could happen, Din caught your wrist and lifted it back to his face. He slowly kissed the inside of your palm, down to the veins disappearing under your sleeve, his eyes fixated on your visor the entire time. His smile grew slightly when he felt a shiver run through you.

“I love you, ner kar’ta,” he whispered. “Even if you’re a half-Hutt under your armor.”

“Don’t push it.”

You let go of his hand and Din’s face fell, fearing that he really went too far. He reached for you but stopped when you straightened up and took a deep breath, your hands going to the last thing that separated you from him – your helmet.

He held his breath and his heart beat erratically as he watched you. He tried not to blink, not wanting to miss the moment when he finally got to see your face. Just the fact that you were willing to do this meant so much to him, but…

Slowly, you took your helmet off and placed it down on the mattress right next to his. Then, a pair of irises gazed into the depths of Din Djarin’s heart.

…you were wrong.

Oh, how wrong you were.

There was no mistaking it that you were by far the most breathtaking sight the Mandalorian had ever laid his eyes on.

The Maker must’ve been overly generous, or maybe favored you, for looking at you… it felt like coming home.

You stared at him with gentle, tentative eyes of the most beautiful color in the world, and Din would’ve gladly lost himself in them. Your lips, so tempting and soft-looking, were parted slightly as you awaited his reaction, but he couldn’t move. He just watched, spellbound, and wondered if this truly is reality and not some cruel, elusive dream.

He hadn’t felt such awe even when he saw Grogu doing his magic for the first time. Hadn’t felt such elation even when a new skin made of beskar was forged just for him. Had never before felt such love in his life.

You were a wonder. A miracle.

“Cyare?”

Your voice sounded almost fearful to your ears, but you couldn’t help it – Din seemed unable to utter even a word, and panic started to flood your veins when you noticed tears gathering in his dark, beautiful eyes. “Din–”

But before you could move away, he slipped off the bed and knelt by your feet. You were so taken aback by this action that you didn’t even react when he cradled both of your hands in his and pressed lingering kisses to your fingers, one after another.

“If I could, I’d marry you all over again,” he rasped, meeting your gaze with so much love and adoration in his brown eyes that it took your breath away. “How did I get so lucky…?”

“I think I’m the lucky one,” you let out a breathless laugh of relief, your pupils darting across the lines and grooves of his face. “You… you’re not just saying that, right?”

“Cyar’ika, look at me.” He gently tilted your chin up, making your eyes meet his. For a second he faltered, parting his lips in wonder at the feeling of your skin under his fingertips, before he swallowed and gazed at you again. “Do you doubt my words?”

No. There was really no questioning his motives. You knew Din was as honest as one could be and there were only your own insecurities at play here. But the longer you looked at him, his expression so full of love and devotion, the less relevant your own doubts were becoming.

You couldn’t think of anything else but him.

“I really want to kiss you,” you whispered instead of answering, and his face broke into a wide, joyous grin. “Can I–?”

The Mandalorian didn’t even wait for you to finish – the second those words left your mouth, he surged forward and pressed his lips to yours forcefully, eliciting a surprised sound out of you, which soon turned into a needy whimper. You didn’t give him a chance to back away and instantly tangled your fingers into his hair, moving clumsily to be closer to him.

But when you attempted to climb onto his lap, your breast plates collided with a metallic clank, forcing the pair of you to put some space between you. Din huffed with frustration, while you laughed and cupped his face in your hands.

“You’re quite impatient for a bounty hunter,” you accused him playfully, nudging your nose with his. You took a deep, calming breath, wanting to surround yourself with the smell of him completely, but your riduur didn’t let you indulge for long.

He moved quickly and, without a warning, kissed you briefly again – and then one more time. It was more like a light peck, and you longed to feel his tongue inside your mouth once more, but at the same time relished in every sensation that his lips brought. Every touch he gave you was something infinitely precious.

“I’ve waited longer than you,” he murmured. His hands were already moving, taking off the beskar on his forearms and shoulders, reaching where he could without removing you from his lap just yet. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me, cyar’ika.”

You smiled widely and looked up from his deft fingers to throw another teasing comment, but in one second you lost your train of thoughts.

Because Din was blushing.

The feared Mandalorian’s face – a face you were finally allowed to see whenever you desired – was sprinkled with redness across his cheeks and ears. And you were the cause of that.

The thought of it almost caused your eyes to water.

“What are you looking at, mesh’la?”

Your eyes found him again and you smiled brightly, causing Din’s heart to skip a couple of beats.

You took his stubbly chin in-between your fingers and brought his lips closer, planting a soft kiss there that had the Mandalorian melting. He covered your hand with his, feeling the band on your finger under his own.

A miracle.

“I’m looking at you.”

#din djarin x reader #the mandalorian #din djarin x you #din djarin #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #din djarin fluff #the mandalorian fanfiction #din djarin fic #this man needs to be PRAISED he needs to be LOVED and CHERISHED !!!!! #imagine having pedro pascal's face and still being insecure 😔 /j

[angelnumbing]

whether you like it or not, YES, obsessively reading love/your person/crush/FS/etc. tarot readings is bad for you.

even if you’re just reading them for fun (like i was), you have to really think about it. first, every reading you click on requires some kind of energetic connection with the reader. if you read/watch multiple of these things a day you’ve got a bunch of strangers all up in your energy all the time and that’s just not going to be a good thing. buying personal ones is included in this.

youtube randomly recommended me a video of a woman explaining that we as clients come to these readings because, most likely, our situations are so unfulfilling or confusing so we seek answers through tarot. this is natural imo and isn’t a sign of bad character or anything, but we have to accept that some things are meant to be a mystery to us. beyond that, a tarot reader (especially one doing PACs or collective readings) can only pick up on the energy of the querent. the other person’s energy cannot be picked up on without consent, which means that tarot readers read your energy and the way you interpret your person’s energy. this means that if you see your person as hot-and-cold and are holding onto hope for a connection that clearly isn’t working, the reader is going to tell you exactly what you’re thinking because the only way that 3rd party person’s energy can be accessed is through the footprint it leaves in your aura.

not only does this mean that — if you consume these readings often — you’re consistently getting told a false one-sided narrative, but it also inherently establishes its own reward system that keeps you coming back for me. for example, you tell yourself that your person likes you (and maybe they do!) but they’re scared of their feelings for you which is why they ghost you. when you receive a reading that says this, it affirms to you that you were right, and the reading was “accurate”. worse than that, these readings and your dependency on them can easily be used to justify clinging on to a relationship or connection that isn’t working. your person goes cold and you run to a tarot reading basically to be told that there is some hope, actually, and now instead of dealing with the difficult feelings that come with romantic disappointment and growing through that, you’re stuck in the stagnant state of waiting for reality to match up to the picture in your head. realistically, the healthiest thing for you to do is move on from this person and work on yourself.

this isn’t to say that all tarot readings are terrible, because i don’t think that at all. tarot can definitely be a great tool for self-discovery and just for getting some direction in life. i also don’t think there’s a problem with doing love readings for yourself as long as it’s not constant and obsessive.

if you find yourself looking for affirmation from these readings, you should instead shift your focus to readings about your shadow self, where you need to grow and heal, and other things like that. we cling on to these lackluster connections because of something in our past that makes disappointing people attractive to us. i know a lot of you on here are very defensive about your precious PAC readings, but the fact of the matter is that you read them because either your love life is nonexistent and you have to consume what is essentially self-insert fanfiction to cope (i’m not coming for you bc i’m in that camp) OR you do have some connection with someone but they are falling short or disappointing you in such a way that direct communication is not possible and you have to turn to an outside source for some kind of answer.

at the end of the day, if you actually care about yourself, you’re going to have to do the (very hard) work of finding security in yourself and who you are. these readings and any relationships you have or aspire to have are never going to replace that. and frankly a few of you seem to put too much weight on the meaning of these readings. i remember someone said they don’t bother to put any effort into their current relationships anymore because they “know” their current partner isn’t the one bc it doesn’t match up to what they’ve read in FS readings. at some point you need to use your common sense. the readings get hundreds of notes and thousands of views and there’s no way you can rationally justify making decisions like that based off of something meant to apply to everyone who watches and not just you specifically.

i’m making this post because i’ve stopped consuming readings like this and i actually feel so much better mentally and spiritually. they actually are fully capable of making you completely delusional as well, which in some contexts isn’t exactly a bad thing but it’s not a great state to be in when it comes to your interpersonal relationships. ultimately i hope that i’m able to at least of few other people break their pattern and kickstart a genuine healing journey.

i don’t use this app often, tbh so if you get mad in my replies you might as well take it up with god because i’m not looking and if i am looking i’m not caring at the same time. toodles!!

#pick a card #pac #tarot #pac reading #idk what else to tag. who gaf.

[janethepegasus]

One Random Headcanon for each OM Character

Lucifer has a small collection of non-cursed records stashed away in his room, which he sometimes listens to them when he feels like it. He used to get one record as a souvenir every time he goes to the human world, but he stopped doing that once they stopped selling records. Though he was happy that records were back in the market again, he was surprised that they’re now treated as luxury items for super fans of various artists.

Mammon isn’t the kind of guy that’s knowledgeable on animals, but he’s an expert on crows and ravens. He can tell which is which and knows a lot of fun facts about them. You could say they’re his favorite animals.

Leviathan, whenever he needs some time to himself, he dives into the aquarium in his room (in his demon form of course) and just relaxes in there. He finds the underwater sounds very calming.

Satan could’ve been a huge Warrior Cats fan if he was introduced to the series.

Asmodeus can actually glow under UV light. More specifically his eyes, horns, and wings. His horns and wings glow cyan while his eyes glow a striking magenta, almost making his eyes the center of attention while dancing under the UV lights.

Beelzebub can accurately guess someone or something’s weight just by holding them. It’s a skill he learned and mastered throughout the years, in fact he thinks his skill is more accurate than a scale. He can also tell if someone lost or gained weight.

Belphegor does NOT do well with coffee. Sure he can get energized after he drinks it, but the second the effects wear off, he falls straight to the floor and goes to sleep.

Diavolo gained his habit of sneaking out the castle due to his desire to enjoy the things he and his father has given to his subjects, he wants to experience the wonders of everyday life. He wants to enjoy as much of it as possible before he's crowned king, as he knows that opportunity would be striped away as soon as he's king.

Barbatos once teased MC by saying exactly what they were gonna say before they could even finish a sentence. The classic “stop copying me!”

Simeon has tried his hand in writing fanfiction before, but just like his writing, he accidentally predicts future events that will happen in whatever series he’s writing for.

Luke tried to prove that he’s not just a kid by renting and watching a horror movie. He couldn’t get past the first scary scene without covering his eyes and whimpering in fear.

Solomon’s very first dish he ever made was an odd combination of mash potatoes and milk, as a weird way to recreate soup. He recalls enjoying it when he made it for the first time.

Raphael’s flavor palate is completely messed up, he can hardly taste any flavor of anything he eats, even things that would usually make a person sick. But he didn’t get this from birth, he got it after a poorly executed prank. He ate a cupcake covered in magma salt and it literally burnt his tongue. But he sort of sees his lack of taste as a blessing, now he can enjoy any kind of food without any judgement on how good it is. …Though this made him a really bad cook.

Thirteen, in all her years of reaping souls, has come to hate people who risk their lives because they think whatever they were doing is cool. Why risk their lives just to do that dangerous stunt? Or do some silly challenge that’s clearly too dangerous for them to handle? She just doesn’t get it. She becomes a lecturing mother towards any stupid human that managed to live after their dangerous stunt, as a way to teach them to NOT risk their lives again.

Mephistopheles may love taking care of horses, but show him any of those horse girl shows or movies? He’ll just roll his eyes and scoff at it. Taking care of these majestic creatures is not some quirky girly hobby in his eyes, and the fact there’s a whole genre of this brings him great shame.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me raphael #obey me thirteen #obey me mephistopheles

[soopersara]

Recently, I've pondering Book 2 and 3 of ATLA, and I reached a conclusion that surprised me a little.

Specifically, this: Zuko would have been very unlikely to join Team Avatar if not for Katara.

Now I'm not saying that Zuko had a secret crush on her or anything. As much fun as that concept can be to explore in fics, I don't love the idea of Zuko's redemption being motivated by romantic interest, and his canonical arc is clearly driven by his own evolving understanding of the world and the morals that come along with that understanding. Still, if you cut out his interactions with Katara, especially in the crystal catacombs, I just don't see him ever taking that last step to turn against his father and join Team Avatar. He would have been discontented in the Fire Nation, sure. Spending a few years away from home with a guardian who genuinely cared about and protected him could easily push him that far all on its own. He might have become disillusioned enough with the Fire Nation and its role in the war to run away too. Zuko spent enough time in the Earth Kingdom, learning about the people and their suffering, to have doubts and regrets when he finally learned about Ozai's true plans.

But without Katara reaching out to him in the crystal catacombs (or more accurately, Zuko reaching out to sympathize with Katara, and Katara reciprocating), I'm not convinced that he would have considered his future or his place in the world enough to go farther than that. To leave and to join the enemy. And even if he had considered joining Team Avatar, I'm not convinced that he would have thought he had a chance of being accepted if he hadn't shared that moment in the crystal catacombs with Katara.

I mean... sure, Aang sort of reached out to Zuko way back in Book 1. But even leaving aside the fact that that was one moment several months before Zuko finally left home (and an offer that brief and that old is probably shaky at best), it wasn't an offer of friendship in quite the same way that Katara's kindness was. What Aang said to Zuko was:

You know what the worst part of being born over a hundred years ago is? I miss all the friends I used to hang out with. Before the war started, I used to always visit my friend Kuzon. The two of us, we'd get in and out of so much trouble together. He was one of the best friends I ever had, and he was from the Fire Nation, just like you. If we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends, too?

"If we knew each other back then, do you think we could have been friends, too?"

It's a hypothetical question. Aang is thinking back to a time before the war, to the people he knew in the Fire Nation an entire lifetime ago, and trying to imagine where Zuko might have fit into that time and those relationships. He doesn't reach out a hand to directly offer Zuko a friendship in the present (and frankly, it wouldn't make sense in the moment if he had), nor does he ever make another offer of friendship until after Zuko actually joins the team. Every encounter between Zuko and Aang from The Blue Spirit on through The Western Air Temple is either a) a fight, b) Aang sparing Zuko's life while Zuko is unconscious (and therefore unable to see the kind gesture and interpret it as an offer of friendship), c) unwilling cooperation against a common enemy, or d) ... That Face that Aang makes at Zuko after interrupting him and Katara in the crystal catacombs.

Maybe it's just me, but... none of those interactions exactly set up a strong foundation for a future friendship, or even a future alliance. If Aang's old "offer of friendship" was all Zuko had to go on, then joining Team Avatar would have been a long shot. An extremely long shot.

By contrast, Katara bares her heart to Zuko and, at least in the moment, makes it clear that her kindness is deliberate. They've fought against one another time after time, they've been unwilling allies in the fight against Azula, and they've had some... generally antagonistic face-to-face interactions as well. But even after all of that, Katara offers to heal Iroh with very little hesitation in The Chase, then offers compassion to Zuko himself in The Crossroads of Destiny. She openly shows Zuko that there's a chance for him, and even when he turns against her in CoD, her angry dialogue still reflects the fact that she thinks he can be better. That she wants and expects him to be better. "I thought you had changed" isn't just anger, it's also a sign that her trust and kindness in the catacombs was genuine.

It's a sign to Zuko that if he can become the person who Katara thought he was for those few minutes in the caverns beneath Ba Sing Se, he might be able to prove himself worthy of that same trust and kindness again. And once Zuko has finally had enough of living under his father's thumb, of sitting silent on the sidelines while the world burns around him, once he leaves his old life behind for good, it's the beacon that draws him onward into a new life and a new purpose.

I can't claim to know exactly what would have happened if Zuko had never shared those pre-redemption moments with Katara. I'm just one random fic writer in a quiet corner of the internet, but I don't think it's unreasonable to say that her kindness to him in Book 2 made his decision easier. Without Katara, Zuko still might have left the Fire Nation behind. He still might have told off his father and tried to rescue Iroh from prison during the eclipse, but that doesn't necessarily mean that his next step would have been to run off to the Western Air Temple and offer himself up as a teacher.

Without Katara, Zuko might have fallen into the cracks in between the Fire Nation and Team Avatar. He might have become a different type of dissenter - maybe a less obtrusive one, like Piandao or Jeong Jeong, or he might have fallen back into his vigilante persona. He might have gone searching for his mother while the war kept raging on the other side of the ocean, or he might have tried to settle down into the type of quiet life that Iroh wanted for them both in Ba Sing Se. But regardless of what choice Zuko would have made, I think it would have been much harder for him to choose Team Avatar if he hadn't had Katara's voice in the back of his mind, telling him that he could be better, and that if he was, he might have a place with her and her friends.

Ship them or not, Zuko and Katara had an incredible bond that shaped a lot of the show. And while I'm not exactly on Team 'Zuko had a secret crush on Katara from the beginning' because of what it can do to his character arc if it's not handled carefully, I think I just found myself squarely on Team 'Zuko changed because it was right, and Katara opened the door for everything that came after.'

#zutara #not necessarily romantic in this post #but you know how the fandom is #atla meta #zutara meta #zuko #katara

[dinadearine]

Mizu with MixedRace!FEM!reader headcannons (quite accurate?)

so I would say she WOULD be very intrigued, getting to meet someone similar to her (yk that one scene in the brothel when an albino prostitute has blue eyes as well)

at first, she is skeptical whether she should trust you or not.

it made her decisions quite difficult to choose since she was betrayed by someone she loved (The fucker Mikio and her 'Mama')

and secondly, she WILL ask about your life like 'How does it feel like being treated differently?' LIKE as cold and stoic as possible,not really tryna show any kinds of signs of interest, she knew how it'll cause consequences of how you will treat her, or how you will talk to her, and possibly gonna be soft about it (A harsh tone, but some soft words.)

she has no interest on becoming TOO close (Poor Mizu) and while you two talk about how it felt like being treated less human, you can't clearly see her expressions growing softer, or tensed, She is really good at regaining composure and masking her expressions with the usual stoic one, and trying her best not to give in being too friendly with you.

well, if possible, if you two grew close enough, she can freely take off her glasses when she's alone with or without you, cause she knows damn well you are watching over her, even though she doesn't give a fuck about your presence near her. she may sometimes look away from you gaze as if she's hiding her blue eyes from you, but she is comfortable enough to not actually wear the glasses.

it will take a long time to gain her trust, like.. half a table spoon each month.. and after like.. idk maybe more than nine months, or a year (possibly four and a half of her trust (I counted the trust spoon from earlier lol) is enough to be close to you) she can freely tell you that she is a WOMANNNI swear, if ever your face grow red as she mentioned it, she knows what's going on in your mind, iykyk... (⁠ ͡⁠°⁠ ͜⁠ʖ⁠ ͡⁠°⁠)but, you respect HER, respect is one of her biggest thing (not sexually) and she is grateful for that.

or if ever you were disguising as a man aswell, and you revealed yourself to her, she will be surprised and amused. How could she not noticing your we a woman? now she thinks she's getting less smart since she didn't know, but she won't complain about it.

she would be both uncomfortable and yet amused by your demeanor. (especially if you're as stoic as her)

she can practically treats you like a sibling (if you have no interest in her) or a friend with benefits (if you HAVE interest in her)

just like Ringo, she would be very annoyed with you if ever your a golden retriever like Ringo, annoyed, but not much.

in the dynamic, she is obviously the black cat.

(I'll post more if I remembered what I forgot to out here. iykyk)

#the blue eyed samurai #mizu bes #blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #mizu headcanons

[sweetlywriting]

Kirche

Johan Liebert x Reader

You were suprised as the lean blonde man slide into the pew you were currently kneeling on. Or more accurately, surprised that the devil’s incarnate could actually walk into the German Aachen cathedral without bursting into flame.

“I didn’t know you were religious.”

He said it in that charming coquettish voice, with a pleasant hum at the end, so deeply contrasting to his true nature. Such a lie too. Johan knew full well that you believed in his antithesis. And he never missed the chance to try and toy with that belief, as he had done with every other aspect of your life.

Just a week ago, at some odd hour in the night as you were on your couch swathed in blanket, eyes glued to the tv as terror and havoc occurred in the tiny metal box. That sinking feeling settled in the bottom of your stomach, knowing exactly who it was but completely unable to prove it. The dread that you had spent so much of your time with such a horrid person pained you, and the fact the horrid person was likely making dinner for the both of you felt even worse. You swallowed, just about to get up when a voice clearly spoke from next to you.

“How tragic.”

You knew he didn’t find it tragic at all, but grit your teeth and nodded, not wanting to give much reaction. Perhaps he didn’t like that, because the next thing you know his pale slender hands gently grab at the necklace buried in your tank top. A gesture that makes your heart race a little more than you want it too. You don’t dare breathe as he quietly observes the cross shaped charm on the necklace, gently brushing your collarbones with every movement. His hand finds it’s way to edge of your face, the tv news forgotten as you lean into his touch. His beautiful light blue eyes meeting yours. He comes closer gently brushing your hair behind your ear, before whispering closely.

“What a kind God you have.”

The atmosphere immediately changes, it feels as though a bucket of ice water has been poured on your head. Creating a beautiful moment only to crush it, like a child playing with sand.

“I’m just saying he’s quite . . . Forgiving. He’s so very sparing on my deeds, sometimes I wonder if he likes any of you at all. But it’s fine, I’m much more fond of you anyways. Dinner’s on the table,”

He said this a swiftly walked away, as though torturing you with words was a daily thing which in all technicality, it was.

But you didn’t want it to happen today. Not here, already in church-not now. You focused straight ahead not acknowledging Johan in the slightest, as he already had the high ground being in your last place of comfort. Somehow through a hazy amount of time, his slow manipulation and quiet comments had driven you far away from your family, friends, career, and everything else along with it, except for Johan. Leaving you to wonder for the rest of your life where exactly you fucked up and let this carry out to far.

“Why me?”

You whispered. He laughs warmly as though he’s just a normal lover entertaining your silly antics. That’s it probably looked to the few others in the church.

“Perhaps it was fate . . . Or simply God.”

You bang your head on the pew, the noise reverbs in the hollow building and in your head, long after he leaves.

#monster #monster anime #johan liebert #Johan #fanfiction #x reader #monster x reader #johan x reader #fanfic #ee I don’t think writing for a character has ever been so difficult #my apologies if I mischaracterized him a bit #he’s just so difficult to write for I promise I will get better 🤞🏽 #he’s just a little meow meow #gn reader #reader is religious in particular Christian

[olderthannetfic]

I'm so tired of people "helpfully" "letting you know" me about my own fanfic. Yes, I understand that not all aro people are ace. I understand not all ace people are aro. I know I am extremely fucked up for being both. I know good ace people are sex-positive or sex-neutral and like to fuck. I know I'm fucked in the head/broken/stereotypical/bad for not liking it. But I should be allowed to write an aroace sex-repulsed character without people assuming I'm allo and aphobic and in need of correction regarding my misconceptions regarding "real" ace and "real" aro people.

An hour ago I got a comment on how actually ace people like masturbating. The character had shifted uncomfortably in his seat because a friend of his said she spent her teenage years self-harming, masturbating and crying over being a closeted lesbian. Clearly, there's no reason to be uncomfortable with the idea of a friend being trapped in a hopeless situation - it must be that disgusting broken non-sex-having non-sex-loving freak being fucked up again!

I get that I am the kind of freakish monster that none of the good aces or good aros would ever want to be around or see. But I'm not putting out ace representation on TV. I just want to write a story for myself without being reminded that I'm a piece of shit in the comments. I guess that's more than I should have hoped for. More than I should have deserved.

It's funny. Writing fanfic used to be what I did when I felt suicidal and I kept telling myself that come college, shit would get easier. Now I'm in college and I'm realizing high school was the happiest time of my life, before I realized how disgusting I am.

I deleted my fic so at least I don't have to deal with that anymore but it still stings, knowing even in fiction, there's no place for people like me.

Assuming I count as a person. Sometimes I think of myself more like a thing. I feel like that's more accurate. I have more in common with a rock or a trash bag than a human being.

--

Dude, this is full on meltdown mode, and you need to go talk to a therapist about it.

Wanting to fuck or not wanting to fuck is normal.

Thinking of yourself as disgusting, however, is not healthy nor is it realistic. That's your brain lying to you, and it's not something tumblr randos can help with.

[nautilusopus]

nobody else is writing meta analysis for vivarium so i guess i have to do it

Vivarium is a 2019 horror film that the internet doesn’t seem to know what to think of. Most YouTube videos as per usual don’t wanna engage with it on anything more than an extremely literal surface level (hence the abundance of “VIVARIUM EXPLAINED” videos that just recap the plot to you as though you can’t see with your eyeballs that yes, he put on the nametag, that sure is what happened onscreen, yes I fucking get it the boy is like a cuckoo-esque brood parasite I GET IT) that ultimately devolve into speculative fanfiction about how effectively the aliens can take over the world. There are a few people here and there a little more willing to at least engage with what the movie has to say, and from there you get takes about how it’s about how the golden capitalist ideal of the suburban nuclear family is a banal hellscape, which I’d say is generally pretty accurate. Tom spends his entire time at Number 9 labouring, digging a hole while Gemma looks after the boy because he doesn’t know what else to possibly do with himself, an action that wears him down and ultimately costs him his life, and for all his trouble all he’s found is the body of the last guy who tried to labour his way out of this situation. All he’s done is created is a grave for his “offspring” to dump him into. 

Like, as far as Capitalism Bad stories go this one’s pretty on-the-nose, and a lot of the people griping that the story was confusing are mostly the ones that seems to have missed this. (For an even longer tangent about how a lot of scifi stories aren’t going to make sense to you if you resist the very obvious thematic readings they’re giving you because you think things can’t be that deep I recommend Dan Olson’s excellent video on Annihilation.)

Occasionally, though, you get people also mentioning how it’s a little about animal rights, and even more especially about nature versus nurture. For the most part, Tom and Gemma are not kind to the boy. They (understandably) have nothing but contempt towards him. They openly discuss how creepy he is when he’s within earshot. At one point they try to lock him in the car to starve just to see if whoever comes to get his body can be forced to let them go, and they only back out on the plan when the fact that he looks and acts like a child in that moment gets to Gemma and she lets him out. Eventually, the boy grows into an emotionally distant young adult that locks Tom out of the house to die and doesn’t seem to give two shits about their suffering now that he’s bigger and stronger than his “parents”. Surely, we think, if Gemma and Tom had been kinder to him, he would have grown into a kinder adult, even if he was an alien? Are they not perpetuating this literal cycle of violence? 

And with regard to the nature versus nurture reads, I actually directly disagree and find it at odds with the Capitalism Bad message, because my read is this:

No amount of kindness or understanding would have turned the boy into a good person, and acting like it would have is in fact part of the trap. Gemma and Tom would have wound up used up and dead either way, because thematically speaking, what the boy is there to do is to collect data.

More under the cut, I have a lot of opinions about this.

The boy’s creepy alien gimmick is mimicry. It’s what the realtor (p clearly a member of the same species) does when trying to entice Tom and Gemma into Number 9. The realtor is better at saying context-appropriate things than the boy is, but still slips up every now and then, and even so his mannerisms aren’t quite right. At best, he sounds like he’s regurgitating a script (a bit more admissible given he’s trying to sell something). At worst, he parrots Gemma’s “no, not yet” back to her in exactly her voice. Everything he’s saying, it’s clear he’s going through motions without any real understanding of what those motions are, beyond, “This is the thing you say to sell a house.”

The boy is demonstrably worse at it. He’ll parrot entire conversations back to the people who had them regardless if it makes sense to do so. He rarely speaks in his own voice, instead chopping up various words he’s heard from both parents. He doesn’t seem to have much sense for what is and isn’t appropriate to mimic (to the point of Gemma quite transparently tricking him into revealing he’s an alien outright), much less what makes sense for him to mimic. 

He develops this skill gradually over the course of the movie, gets a bit better at putting together sentences people can actually reply to. But even then, he doesn’t seem to engage with the context overall of the conversation. After aforementioned alien reveal, with Tom growing sicker by the day, Gemma begins to cry and back away in horror, and we get this exchange:

The boy: Are you [overwhelmed] again, Mother? Gemma: I am not your mother! The boy: Are you [overwhelmed]? Gemma: I want to go home. The boy: Silly mother. You are home!

There’s no real engagement with the actual conversation at hand. This is the kind of script a reply bot runs. It emulates emotion the same way it emulates everything else. 

His nature is reflected by the surroundings: The identical miles of houses with framed pictures of those houses on their own walls, with no real understanding of what people do and don’t want in the aesthetics of a house. The food that looks correct, but has no flavour or nutritional value, eventually leading to not just Tom’s death, but eventually Gemma’s. The entire world, from the Number 9 house to the suburbs of Yonder in general with its fake clouds, to the boy and its interactions, are fake, hollow, and the kind of thing an alien with no real care for the real human experience beyond perpetuating the system’s own growth would create.

And at this point hopefully some of you have noticed, we’ve seen this exact behaviour pattern before.

i’m quoting the reply on that second one here by @dukeofankh​ because it’s extremely relevant to this entire thing:

I’m honestly reblogging this again because the more I stare at it, the more I feel like this is staggeringly relevant art.

Like, so much of modern capitalist marketing is the construction of these superficially personal narratives. Giving the sense, not only that the brand fits in with your identity, but that it is almost a sentient individual itself that has a personal relationship with you. Corporations have personalities. They want to be your friend, and the reason that the entire internet economy runs on the currency of data right now is that the only way to prop up the illusion that they care about you is by already having the information about you that real people would gain by paying attention

But the only way they can collect and sort all that data is with computers, without any actual humans involved past setting up the parameters and pressing “go.” And computers are fucking idiots.

Which leaves us here: this false, saccharine message of togetherness and community–community between you and your friends but more importantly between all of you and Facebook–stripped fucking bare by the fact that the cookie-cutter algorithm can’t tell the difference between friends supporting and caring about each other and Thanos with a dumptruck ass.

The boy is here to collect data, and he collects it and regurgitates it as though it all has equal relevance to the situation at hand. 

He reacts with the same polite indifference to open contempt, genuine warmth and an attempt to bond with him, terror directed at him, and pleas for mercy from him. Later on when we get a glimpse of the “inner workings” of the house, we see the boy watching another set of parents rawdogging the shit out of each other, and applauding appreciatively with the same blank amusement as he applauds to everything else. He sees Gemma and Tom dancing to the music from their radio outside, trying to have one bright moment with one another despite the grim circumstances they’re in, and he immediately inserts himself into the moment with zero awareness that he isn’t wanted here (granted that’s also extremely a little kid thing to do lol). 

Which leads to the fact that that isn’t to say he doesn’t have his moments of personality. He smiles at positive attention (as well as negative attention), he enjoys interaction. He throws a tantrum when he’s told he can’t watch fucked up alien meat television at 3 am and turns it right back on. About the only time we get a genuine reaction from him is when he gets locked in the car to starve.

But then, so do things like Alexa, or Siri, or Cortana. You can have little conversations with it. It can tell jokes. You can ask it the meaning of life and it’ll tell you 42. You can insult it and it’ll do an EPIC SNAPBACK OMG SO SASSY. The people who designed it want you to view it as a friend, even as it sits there and spies on you and integrates itself more and more into your life. 

Gemma lets him out of the car because (also understandably) she can’t bring herself to kill something that looks like a child. Later on, when she speaks with a dying Tom, she wonders why she didn’t kill him when he was still small. Tom tells her, “Because you’re a good person.” Their problems could have maybe (I mean probably not we’ll never know, at the very least Tom wouldn’t have died of exposure maybe) been solved if they just locked the thing in the car and ignored it, but in the end they still wound up viewing it as a person. 

Tom and Gemma openly comment that the boy is always, always watching them, knowing full well they’re within earshot of him. He doesn’t retaliate for this, they’re never punished for saying it. Why would he? It’s what he’s there to do. He knows they know he’s watching. Water is wet. The boy watches.

Of course, when he is older, and better at putting together conversations that sound like an actual person, Gemma is openly terrified of him. His mannerisms don’t change, but conversationally he seems to at least understand whats being said to him, and is willing to ask more in-depth questions, graduation from, “What’s a dog?” to “Why did you say ‘you’re welcome’?”

By the end of the movie, the boy matures into a man. He’s gotten a bit better at knowing which words to parrot at what time, something we can watch him improve upon as the movie goes, and still insists, to Gemma’s last breath, that she’s his mother and that she is home. Gemma dies telling him, “I’m not your fucking mother.”

This is maybe the only other genuine reaction we get from the boy: a disappointed, “Whatever,” before he zips up the bodybag and chucks her into the hole as well. He cleans up the house for the next occupants and leaves. He takes the now-dying realtor’s nametag and puts it on himself, folds up the old realtor and stuffs it in a drawer, and takes his place in the office ready to lure the next couple to the suburbs of Yonder, with words that almost, but not quite, convince you he’s a person, and by that point it’s too late. 

The boy was only ever there to make sure someone would be in Number 9 to make sure someone would be there to raise the next boy to make sure someone would be led to Number 9 to raise the next boy. 

And who among us haven’t left this exact message, or even said this exact thing out loud, to the bot hanging over our shoulder watching us constantly, politely asking if we want help or suggested content?

TLDR anyway yeah the movie is “capitalism bad nuclear family in suburbia is a banal hellscape” still but there’s LAYERS you see

#vivarium #vivarium movie

[esteemed-excellency]

Oc characterisation: I wrote a bit of character analysis to save for reference, here it is if anyone's curious.

Hiram's backstory is based on three main traits:

He was and still is a curious and inquisitive person. I chose 1837 as his birth year not only to fit the Fall timeline but also to drop him right in the middle of the century, a time full of societal and industrial changes (I'm a history nerd so I wanted to rotate a blorbo in my main area of interest). He loves to experience life to the fullest and to learn about new things.

He's always been extremely focused on his goals. He completed his studies and he got the social status he wanted, starting a promising career towards a favourable future with a lot of connections here and there.

He always wanted more. I needed him to be entitled enough to be dandyish and kind of impertinent, but still stuck in the middle class. The previously mentioned qualities turn into a degree of vanity and conceit as he strives for more. He manages to fulfill enough of his goals just as 1862 approaches.

His behaviour in the Neath developes from these three traits. He loses everything during the Fall: family, home, status. He needs to get back into the swing of things, as he's always preoccupied with obtaining more, so his focus shifts from planning to scheming. Societal rules seem to be changing and he doesn't concern himself with law abiding conduct anymore. He knows very well how to circumvent it. The problem is that now his world is a brand new place and, being still fueled by curiosity, he needs to know what's going on with the city, and for some things focus starts bordering dangerously on obsession.

Hence, the violant incident. He remembers everything extremely clearly, and his capacity to focus is even better than before, but he knows there's still more to find out, and curiosity turns into Ambition.

His final charater trait is soullessness, which I headcanon as not always being able to feel actual emotions, and knowing their intensity without being able to define what they are exactly. He knows he's feeling something but he can't always accurately identify the particular feeling, so he navigates emotions in terms of intense/mild, interesting/uninteresting, engaging/boring, instead of a more complex moral or emotional spectrum.

Despite this, he's still fueled by curiosity and he actively seeks out secrets and novelties. He plans his schemes accordingly to what goes on around town (and on the surface too via his agents), even though a good dose of control and secrecy is now needed to mantain his affairs. There are a lot of things to meddle into and he doesn't waste any opportunity.

#I have some more followers so I'm trying to expand on the backstory #I might edit this sooner or later because I'm not happy with some of the syntax but this has been sitting in my drafts for long enough #woe oc lore be upon ye #fallen london #fallen london oc #hiram hargrave #hiram lore #backstory

[retphienix]

First reactions to this without actually sitting down to think of long term- or unintended- messaging attached is that this is rather interesting. I think I like this as a world building mess- there's nothing clean about this, and I kinda really like that.

It carries an undertone that oppressors can't be convinced and often must be confronted directly- in this case through subterfuge rather than conflict.

It goes without saying that "both sides"ing an oppressive enslaving colonizing monstrosity such as the first spawn Gek isn't- didn't- and would never have gotten us anywhere as they were marching forward no matter what.

As an "Empire" they were unstoppable. Not just "Military strength" wise- morally- via ideology- via culture. They were unchanging and for that matter- could not be changed by others.

The implication here is potentially that all Gek were simply predisposed to this line of reasoning and I'd argue that's. Complicated. And False.

Forgive me as I dig Too Deep for my own entertainment:

Because to paint it as an inevitability- to say "They were just evil" others the problem to a degree that takes responsibility and for that matter "fault" away from the discussion.

If you TRULY say "Gek are just like this" then you're saying Gek can't be another way- so it's not their fault they did a little bit of enslaving, whoopsy-daisy.

But I bring that up more because I don't think that's the intended messaging- I think that's a potential read brought on by how sudden a reveal this is- and I'd argue the finishing lines from the Gek kind of bring that mis-read down a touch (a good thing!).

I think it's more accurate to say the culture had built up its mythos to an unstoppable degree. Much like modern cultures (yippee -.- ), where they painted their history for eons, attached righteous patriotism towards their actions, and while not LITERALLY being incapable of being or feeling otherwise on an individual level- AS A WHOLE- AS A CULTURE- they had become immutably and stubbornly evil.

IE: An individual gek from the first spawn may have been sympathetic, but the whole could never be on their own. Their culture had run too hot for too long to allow a few tears from their victims to cool it off even slightly.

So it was not inevitable in the same way day and night are, it was inevitable in that a seed of evil was allowed to flourish for so long that nothing but direct and, in this case, intense action must fight back to allow anything other than that "inevitability".

Which is where we come to the Korvax's solution which in itself is fucking wild to think on.

In the simplest terms, they brain washed a generation and that broke the cycle of death and destruction.

And That's Kind Of Difficult To Confront.

Because brainwashing is, not great.

But sci-fi brainwashing isn't something we currently have to worry about- we have a much slower and dirtier approach in real life.

So I think the fact it's so blatantly comparable to brainwashing is kind of a weak spot to this narrative- but perhaps they wanted it to be kind of dirty, I genuinely don't know.

I feel like the intent was to be a sci-fi way of expressing their revolution taking a less direct route as their oppressor could not be confronted on the battlefield.

The fact that the brainwashing required many of the Korvax to sacrifice their lives in order to change the minds of the following generation makes it feel like the act is meant to be thought on symbolically rather than literally- less so that they "Brainwashed" and more so that "They 'fought' and died to enact change".

As I started with, I think it's merely meant to be a narrative tool to show that the oppressor had to be STOPPED- they would not stop themselves.

The chosen tool is muddy, and doesn't parallel great with real life if you apply it too directly- but I think the intent was less so as I mentioned (symbolically).

The intent is clearly focused on this being a revolution- on this being direct action against their oppressors- the tool's specificity should be moot as all revolutions are bloody and unclean- it's just that the tool they chose can unfortunately be thought on too closely and create some.... unkind or uncomfortable reads on the whole thing. Though, I guess revolutions aren't comfy subjects now are they?

IDK.

The final statement from the Gek does a lot for this though.

The First Spawn were unflinching in their resolve. The Gek would remain the evil empire they had been without this revolution- without this blood spilt.

They were incapable of changing without their course being altered; and the Gek of today only want to be happy and find it pitiable that their ancestors could not feel the way they feel today without "Help".

Every piece of Gek history I've found in-game thus far has followed how ruthless the First Spawn were- how lowly they thought of other races- and how incredibly disappointed they were in their children (which we now know why).

The First Spawn were in so many words, evil.

Greedy, forever expanding, resentful assholes- tag your favorite real life First-Spawn-stan and all that.

And the Gek of today are indeed different, and confronting why is painful for them, but focusing on the now they find their strives for happiness fulfilling.

It's interesting.

Also, interestingly enough, my character thinks on the simulation we placed Artemis' soul inside and claims it's a world run by arbitrary and unseen rules and follows with "How is life any different?" and that was neat. I know my ramble didn't emphasize this parallel well but ignore that- consider this a tangent- we focused on the simulation and how it's still a form of life and that was neat lol.

#No man's sky #nms #RetPlays #spoilers

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

I've seen a lot of worry (not quite as much here, but especially on Twitter) about what Carlos is going to be like in season 5 based on things that Rafa has said since the finale, like that Carlos is changed forever and a part of him died along with Gabriel. In my opinion, it's WAY too early to start worrying about season 5 seeing as we have 8 months minimum to wait. But reading so many people's concerns about this got me thinking about it, and I came to the conclusion that even if it WAS an appropriate time to worry, I wouldn't actually be worried.

Anything Rafa is saying now is not based on what's actually going to happen in season 5. Nothing has been written yet. I'm betting even Tim has at most only a vague idea of what might happen in season 5. Also, we know Rafa loves the drama. This is the man who thought their house burning down was romantic and suggested a potential wedding scenario that had Carlos dying on the way there. I don't think we can assume that his personal speculation about what might happen is going to be accurate.

So many traumatic things have happened to characters on this show--things that would completely alter the lives of the people they happened to if this were real life--yet I can't think of a single example of an immense trauma having a significant long-term effect on a character, at least not to the extent that it's fundamentally changed who the character is. Realistic trauma response wouldn't be feasible on a show where trauma happens in basically every single episode. Usually there's no long-term effect from trauma at all. Even if trauma does noticeably change a character, it tends to be more subtle and only comes back up in specific and relevant situations. I'm sure at least part of Carlos' arc next season will be solving his father's murder, so it will clearly be relevant at times. And I'm sure that Carlos will be affected by Gabriel's death--it wouldn't make sense for him not to be. But nothing about this show makes me think it's going to fundamentally alter who he is. It's just not how this show operates.

Changes in Carlos might be more apparent to Rafa in the way he approaches the character but might not be something that we always notice on screen. I remember around the time of 4x04, Rafa talked in interviews about how being held captive by a serial killer deeply affected Carlos. We never saw much (if any) evidence of that on screen, but I bet it informed the way Rafa thought about Carlos and his mindset, at least a little bit.

Something can change a character forever without completely changing who they are. I would argue that Gwyn's death changed TK forever, but it's not something that fundamentally altered who TK is as a person. With time, I would bet changes in Carlos from Gabriel's death will be more similar to this.

The Carlos we know and love was definitely present at the wedding. It would make no sense for Carlos to spiral in his grief and anger throughout episode 18 to the point where he loses himself for a bit, then he comes back to himself just long enough to get married, but then he completely and irreversibly changes going forward and we never see the kind, compassionate, loving Carlos again.

Basically, I think any fears that Carlos is going to become permanently cold and closed off or that his personality will completely change and never change back are unfounded. Any big change in Carlos will probably last for the relevant arc (perhaps as long as it takes to solve Gabriel's murder) and then be resolved. Once we get past that, the effect Gabriel's death has on Carlos will likely be revisited in more subtle ways at times when it's relevant rather than manifest as a permanent and all-encompassing change in his character. I'm honestly really excited to see where they go with Carlos in season 5. If it's done right, it could be really, really good! And whatever direction they go in, we know Rafa is going to act the hell out of it!

#911 lone star #carlos reyes

[kyoxyukiforever]

The Science of A/B/O

Part 1 - The Basics

Part 1 (The Basics), Part 2 (Heats and Ruts), Part 3 (Scents and Pheromones), Part 4 (Mating)

Warning: sex ed that no one asked for and all that that implies

I cannot believe I'm doing this.

I've kind of been fascinated by the whole alpha/beta/omega concept in fanfiction for a while. I've read a lot of it. I like how it allows authors to explore themes of sexism, sexualization, and r*pe culture through a fantastical lens, making those topics less triggering as they are seen in a distant and unrealistic universe instead of our own.

And yeah, sometimes it can be really hot.

So I thought I'd take a look at the actual science behind this whole thing, and share the results here in case anyone is... even remotely interested. Obviously, there is no correct way for A/B/O to work. This is all in good fun and you can take or leave the information here as you like.

So, first off!

WHAT ARE ALPHAS, BETAS, AND OMEGAS?

The whole concept of A/B/O is based on the social hierarchy found in wolf packs. Bear in mind that this is JUST a social hierarchy, there are no obvious biological differences between alphas, betas, and omegas, at least as far as wolves are concerned. Instead, the difference is, for the most part, social. This whole theory has actually been challenged in recent years as to it's accuracy, but here are the basics of the theory, whether they be accurate or not:

In a wolf pack, there are two alphas: the alpha male and the alpha female. These two are a mated pair, and the reason is because they carry the best genetics. An example: the alphas in the pack will have larger paws or healthier coats, which will give their pups an advantage in life.

Betas are the second in command: "deputies" for the alphas.

Omegas are the wolves in the pack with the weakest genetics. If these wolves are caught trying to mate (with each other or other wolves in the pack) the alphas and betas will attack them, preventing them from reproducing.

Not all wolves in a pack fall under these three labels. Barbara Zimmermann, a professor at Inland Norway University of Applied Sciences suggests that "[...]there may be several rank levels, beta, gamma and so on."

But WHO CARES! This clearly isn't what A/B/O is in our fantastical, fictional context. The only thing that really applies is the order of social standing these words suggest: with alphas at the top of the pecking order and omegas at the bottom, with betas being somewhere in between.

Well, that leaves us with the tropes of the A/B/O genre, so let's get into it.

Every individual has two sexes: the primary and secondary sex. The primary sex being male/female, the secondary sex being alpha/beta/omega. (I actually think these terms would be switched: the A/B/O sex seems to matter a lot more than the m/f sex, both socially and biologically.) These sexes can combine in any available way: alpha males, alpha females, beta males, beta females, omega males, omega females.

In most versions of the A/B/O mythos, betas are sort of just... people, like we are. No noticeable differences in anatomy, physiology, or behavior.

Things only get different when we hit alphas and omegas. The biggest difference seems to be reproductive: alphas, both male and female, can impregnate someone, and omegas, male or female, can become pregnant and give birth.

Now, I've seen versions of A/B/O where male omegas and/or female alphas cannot reproduce at all, and are seen as useless as a result. This is well and good narratively, but there is no evolutionary advantage to this, and a genetic mutation resulting in a largely sterile population wouldn't last long from an evolutionary standpoint. But, again, it probably doesn't matter that much if you just want to write about two guys doing anal without all the prep work.

However, a mutation that encourages more frequent, more urgent reproduction? That definitely has an evolutionary advantage. Scientifically, the emergence of alphas and omegas in the human species was likely a result of dwindling populations. So, somewhere in the distant history of your A/B/O fic, that might have been a thing. How long ago did it happen? Who knows! It could have been before our ancestors even evolved into homo sapiens - some genetic mutations stick around so long we don't even think of them as mutations anymore - Type O is the most common blood type, but it's actually recessive!

So, scientifically, what does that mean for alphas and omegas in our hypothetical universe? Well, alphas and omegas can actually be explained (to an extent) by combining two real genetic traits: intersexuality and the replacement of menstrual cycles with estrous cycles.

Let's start off with...

INTERSEXUALITY

Now, the term 'intersexual' is a bit misleading, because it's not actually a sexuality. It's actually an umbrella term for individuals who are born with any number or combination of sex characteristics that "do not fit typical binary notions of male or female bodies." Or, put less eloquently, when people are born with both male and female sexual or reproductive organs/chromosomes.

This mutation actually wouldn't apply to all alphas and omegas: just female alphas and male omegas. In order for a male omega to be capable of conceiving and carrying a baby to term, he would have to have ovaries, fallopian tubes, a uterus and an opening through which sperm can enter that system. Now, since you may be wondering: is it even remotely possible for that opening to be in or attached to the anal canal?

Unfortunately... no. There IS a condition known as rectovaginal fistula, where there is a connection between a person's rectum and vagina, but this condition is HORRIFYING and causes more health problems than I can list here. It requires intense treatments, medication, and surgery. All around just a terrible condition to have.

So, a male omega would have to have a vagina, in our little thought experiment. He could, however, still have a penis. During prenatal development, the ambisexual genital tubercle forms into either a penis or a clitoris. In fact, when female to male transgender individuals have what is referred to as 'bottom surgery,' their surgeon will simply use existing erectile tissue that makes up the clitoris (only a small portion of which is ever visible externally) to create a penis. Basically, the penis does not in any way hinder a male omega's ability to get pregnant.

As far as penis size goes, we can assume that it wouldn't be comparable to beta or alpha penises, simply because there would be no biological need for the omega penis to be of a certain length. The reason penises are the size and shape they are is to get sperm as close to the egg as possible. Think of the omega penis like nipples on men: for pleasure and decoration only. There's room for variation here - the author could decide that male omega genitals are indistinguishable from the genitals of female omegas and betas or that they might have what trans men on testosterone refer to as bottom growth.

And omegas wouldn't have testicles either, simply because during prenatal development, the gonads become either ovaries or testes. Since they need ovaries, they can't have testes.

As for female alphas, their genitals would have to be virtually indistinguishable from the genitals of a male alpha. Could they have a penis and a vagina like omega males, with their testes simply hidden inside their bodies like ovaries are hidden? Again, no. A vagina that leads nowhere is... possible, I suppose, but because it serves no purpose beyond pleasure and decoration, it likely wouldn't be wide or deep enough to fit much inside of it.

As for internal testes, that's a solid no. Have you ever wondered why the testicles are outside of the body, in what is a much more vulnerable position? It's because sperm require a very specific temperature to survive, and the inside of the human body is too hot. So, if you want alpha females to be able to reproduce in your fic, they also have to have balls, tragically.

This next part actually kind of allows you to pick and choose, which is cool. Let's talk about...

HORMONES AND LACTATION

First off, it's important to say that men do actually have all the necessary equipment to lactate: nipples, mammary glands, and pituitary glands. The only reason they don't lactate is because their prolactin levels aren't high enough. When a woman becomes pregnant, her body produces more prolactin, allowing her to lactate, but lactation can occur without a pregnancy. This is called galactorrhea: its most common causes in real life are medications and hypothyroidism, and it occurs in both males and females.

But, in our little experiment, we could posit that prolactin levels might rise in a female alpha in response to being around a pregnant mate, friend, or family member. It's been shown that a man's body can have several physiological reactions when their partner is pregnant, one of which is called couvade, or "sympathetic pregnancy," so it's not as much of a stretch as you might think.

So this actually leaves the writer with some choices: do male omegas lactate, or do female alphas lactate to pick up the slack? Maybe they BOTH lactate. Possibilities! Granted, we have yet to observe in nature a species that requires two different parents to birth and nurse their offspring, but with our posited mutation causing males to be able to become pregnant, I certainly wouldn't rule it out.

Earlier, I said that scientifically speaking, a female alpha's genitalia would be virtually indistinguishable from a male alpha's. If that's the case, how do we tell the difference between female and male alphas? At time of birth, you couldn't, unless a doctor performed a hormone test on the infant in question.

As the alpha grew older, however, puberty would reveal all! We can assume that a male alpha would be dealing with a lot of testosterone, both during and after puberty. This would result in a more masculine frame and a deeper voice. A male alpha would also have more androgens than a female alpha, creating what we typically think of as a masculine hair growth pattern.

A female alpha might have a more balanced quantity of estrogen and testosterone. In real life, healthy testosterone levels are much higher in men than in women, but healthy estrogen levels in men and women actually overlap. This means that a premenopausal woman might have less estrogen than a man of the same age, and there would be no obvious masculine features in the woman as a result.

What does this mean for alpha females? Well, it means that the alpha female could conceivably have a feminine frame, carrying fat in her hips and thighs and developing breasts as she went through puberty. Her voice wouldn't have to drop to the point of sounding masculine, and she could still have a healthy sperm count. She also wouldn't have to have a masculine hair growth pattern - she simply has fewer androgens. Her testosterone levels would be higher than the average beta woman, but that just means she might be taller, more muscular, and perhaps a little (or a lot) more aggressive.

As for omegas, a similar principle applies. A female omega would likely have normal estrogen and testosterone levels for a woman, unless she were in heat (more on that later). A male omega would, again, have a more even balance. That means enough testosterone to have a masculine voice and build, and enough estrogen to have a healthy ovulation cycle. The only time this becomes a problem is during pregnancy. Testosterone levels would naturally taper off while pregnant, due to the threat testosterone poses to a healthy fetus. When transgender men become pregnant, it is essential that they go off their hormone treatments in order to avoid deformities in their children.

This tapering off of testosterone levels could have all kinds of side effects. A pregnant male omega might experience weight redistribution, mood swings, and loss of hair on their chest, face, etc., but that doesn't sound too far off from what any normal person experiences during pregnancy.

Another thing that can vary depending on the author is chest/breast growth. It depends on a lot of things. Increased estrogen levels do cause chest/breast growth, as we've observed in transgender women who are on hormones, but that chest/breast growth is often not nearly as substantial as those women might expect or hope for. In 2017, a study showed that trans women saw an average increase in chest circumference of 3.1 inches after a year on hormones, with most of that growth occurring in the first six months. That is not a lot. A male omega would still be a solid member of the itty bitty titty committee after a pregnancy.

Something that might increase the chest circumference further is the chest wall displacement that occurs during pregnancy. This is when the lungs, ribcage, and diaphragm move up and out to accommodate the baby. This wouldn't make the breasts themselves bigger, though. The thing that might change this is prolactin, that hormone I mentioned earlier that causes lactation. Well, it also causes chest/breast growth. So, depending on if you want your male omega to lactate or not, your male omega could see significantly more chest/breast growth. Regardless, the growth a male omega would see during pregnancy would eventually go away, either after the pregnancy is over or once he stops breast/chest-feeding.

Now for the moment we've all been waiting for...

HEATS AND RUTS

Part 1 (The Basics), Part 2 (Heats and Ruts), Part 3 (Scents and Pheromones), Part 4 (Mating), Part 5 (Genetics and Presenting)

#a/b/o science #alpha/beta/omega dynamics #alpha/beta/omega #a/b/o #omegaverse #alpha beta omega #alpha #beta #omega #alpha/beta/omega verse #a/b/o verse #a/b/o headcanon #mpreg #male pregnancy #tw mpreg #pregnancy #tw pregnancy

[atheostic]

I'm interested to hear how educated you are on the differences between judaism and christianity, especially how their value systems, i saw your conversation with rose and it was nice to see someone questioning theism without being condescending and acting like theists are bad people

Hey, sorry for taking a while to respond.

I'll readily admit that I'm way more familiar with how atheist Jews view the differences between the two religions than I am with how theist Jews view it. I consciously seek out atheist Jews' interpretations and views of Judaism and Judaism vs, Christianity partly because, as an atheist myself, I want to hear what other atheists have to say. The other part is that I find that atheists in general don’t have hangups about calling out the bad stuff in their past culture/religion so you get to actually hear about the problems (which every religion without exception has – just like they all have good parts too).

I know that Christianity started out as a denomination of Judaism (there were heated discussions in the early days of Christianity over whether one had to convert to Judaism before being considered a Christian). I know that if Bible!Jesus is an accurate portrayal of a real historical figure he didn’t intend to create a new religion but rather to reform Judaism. That being said, I also know that, much like how language dialects eventually become distinct enough to be separate languages, it has been a VERY long time since Christianity was part of Judaism. It has some aspects that are similar, but for the most part it’s now its own thing (kind of like how all Great Apes share similarities but are clearly different species).

I know (thanks to Karyn Glasser) that the main similarity between Christianity and Judaism is that the Old Testament and the Torah are mostly the same text when compared side by side, with the biggest difference being how some stuff is organized. That being said, in theology you’re supposed to treat each religion’s text as unique even if they’re literally word-for-word identical, which is why I always explicitly refer to the two texts as being separate.

I know that, while part of their holy texts are virtually identical, how Christianity vs Judaism approaches their holy texts is very very different. Traditionally in Judaism, the Torah is meant to be a living text, which means that things being open to interpretation was a feature, not a bug. As far as ancient Israelites were concerned, if there was no new meaning to be found in the text then the text was dead and useless. Christianity, on the other hand, likes to view their holy text as a lot more cemented (“my way or the highway” if you will)... though it doesn’t keep people from interpreting it six ways from Sunday anyway. The inflexibility in Christianity is likely part of why violence and animosity between denominations seems to be much higher than in Judaism.

I also know that how most Jews view God is very different from how most Christians view God; Jews aren’t typically afraid to be like “Yeah, that thing he did was an asshole move, God’s a dick sometimes” whereas most Christians consider God to be all-good and perfect and above reproach, so to say he did something bad breaks their brain. I remember seeing this post once where a Jewish person was basically like “whether good or bad, since everything happens according to God’s will I hold him responsible for what happens in my life”. Jews also don’t typically have a hangup about arguing with god (which makes for a much healthier dynamic in my opinion).

From my personal experience, it seems that Jews tend to be a lot more relaxed and have a more playful attitude toward religion that white North American* Christians. Jews, for example, will get into fun friendly debates over whether it’d be kosher for a vampire to drink pig’s blood if it was to avoid drinking from a human (if memory serves about that post someone asked their rabbi and they said yes) or whether it’d be okay for a dragon to light the shammash using their breath. North American Christians, on the other hand, tend to be way more serious when it comes to how they approach theology in general.

That being said, of course there are exceptions in both cases, as no group is monolithic and people are hella complicated. From what I’ve read and from what I’ve heard from Jews on Tumblr, Orthodox Jews tend to be more Christian-y in how they approach the Torah in that compared to other denominations they tend to take things a lot more literally. I remember reading an article once about how some bigwig in the Canadian Orthodox Jewish community had suggested not taking Genesis too literally and it was a big scandal.

And because no group is monolithic, it’s worth emphacizing that what I know about Jewish culture is primarily from a North American viewpoint (and mostly American at that), and therefore what I know isn’t applicable to all Jews as a whole (I recently got s book for the school library I work at all about how Passover is celebrated differently around the world, so it’d be silly for me to think that how Jews approach Judaism would be monolithic).

And all this is, of course, when talking about theist Jews. Because since Judaism is an ethnoreligion it’s possible to be both an atheist and a Jew at the same time. And how atheist Jews approach Judaism as a religion varies wildly (not surprising, since getting atheists of any kind to agree on anything beyond the nonbelief in any deities is like herding cats). Some, like the previously-mentioned Karyn Glasser, sometimes go to worship services as a way to connect with their culture and ancestors. One of my colleagues sometimes goes to the synagogue if there’s a party going on because “who doesn’t love a good party?”. Others, like an Israeli  caller to the Atheist Experience a while ago, think that atheist Jews should be referred to by a different word than theist Jews because their perspective regarding the religion is so different (his suggestion was for atheist Jews to be known as “Hebrews”). Others don’t care about the religion aspect at all but still celebrate the holidays as a tie to their culture. Yet others aren’t tied to their culture or religion at all. 

* No topic is taboo about being made fun of in Brazilian culture, so how Brazilian Christians approach religion is very different and much closer to how I’ve seen Jews approach religion.

#response #religion #judaism #abrahamic religions #questions #christianity

[lunaamatista]

Only putting this here so that I won’t forget.

Good Omens S2 places a deep emphasis on memory. To look where the furniture isn’t. To remember the mechanisms of gravity, but not its purpose. Not to remember Furfur before the Fall. To remember, however, the passwords to Heaven’s files or the crank used to start up the universe or the tall tales told to cherubs.

To have memories wiped out as a consequence of disobeying Heaven, and to have them kept away and restored as they were.

To gather memory in any way, shape, or form; whether that be through photography, drawings, books, or diaries.

How memories are colored by our limited perception. One angel would only know the blueprints of the universe and the next one would only know when it will end. One would know Extreme Sanctions as mythology and the next as reality. One would know a person as a writer and another as a criminal mastermind.

A biblical account of a true event could’ve omitted the help of a certain angel or demon. The fire of exploding rockets might not be present in the memories of someone who’s seeing an event through rose colored glasses. A diary is not a confessionary, and one could simply make themselves more infallible out of lack of perspective, cognitive dissonance, or shame.

The story was previously told by an omniscient God. Now, it’s mostly reminisced on by an angel whose greatest issue is lacking knowledge and perspective, despite ironically standing beside that whom initially led humans to it.

Memories, even left as they were, are never fully accurate, are never fully complete, are never fully comprehensive, are never fully unbiased.

I, too, see the small discrepancies in costuming, in staging, etc., and while I don’t quite enjoy the thought that these mental records of the past would be tampered with—I do believe if, and only if we believe these are purposeful, we could be dealing more with an issue of the unreliability of memory (and ensuing unreliable narration) than anything.

I care less about that than the following, though…

The Book of Life does feel like an unfired Chekhov’s gun. I know many people are reluctant to believe a certain initial theory (and if it wasn’t clear from this post, so am I), but I don’t think the idea should be dismissed entirely.

The concept itself had kind of been alluded to in the book:

And we’ve also got these quotes of Adam’s:

With the result being that, evidently, he does some rewriting himself, and the humans’ memories of that day are not quite exact.

See also the last conversation of Aziraphale’s and Crowley’s we see in the book, which could read as Death messing with their memories once they’ve gotten too close to figuring out something that ought to be ineffable:

Ultimately, we do know two mechanisms through which memory could not be a particularly reliable means of narration in Good Omens. And memory is such a strong theme this season, that they clearly want us to think of it.

One does not need to actually change events of the past for them to affect the present and thus, the future. They simply need to change how they are remembered.

Know what way there is for someone to never have existed without actually eliminating their existence?

Think of the power a name holds.

Without a name, anonymous deeds could belong to a single person or a hundred. There is no way to ever be certain.

We do not know the name of the gleeful angel who cranked up certain nebulae. Aziraphale doesn’t know, either. He says he remembers the angel Crowley was, but Crowley says that angel is not him.

For Crowley (or Crawley) to never have existed, all that’s necessary is for Aziraphale not to remember his fall. The perception of that being a wrong is at the core of so many grievances he has regarding Heaven, and his determination to right it.

One has to imagine ‘AN ANGEL’ happy, perhaps working on some other important things as they did before without their work ever overlapping. It’s not like that angel had initially cared that much for him at all.

#the people I can talk about Good Omens with are either not done watching season 2 or are sick of me #I was writing this on and off all day so it’s a bit disjointed #this is not meant to be taken as a theory #just a musing on memory #feel free to discuss this with me though #Good Omens #good omens meta #Aziraphale #Crowley #my post #good omens season 2 #good omens series 2 #good omens 2 #(again this is literally for me to find in the future so I’m adding all the tags I can think of)

[drewsaturday]

lottie ramblings

what kills me is they probably did soften lottie to backtrack on villainizing the schizophrenic but i really wish there'd been a way to have her be a compelling antagonist without it going down that road. i don't feel like i know enough to comment on how they could've better done things, so maybe i'm making an ass of myself.

but... i feel disappointment on how they backtracked and disappointment on the driving antagonistic force being what seems to be more and more likely a declining mental illness rather than a misdiagnosis for the divine.

i'm in a mix of "it's mostly mental illness and trauma but there's probs a touch of supernatural" so i can't sit here and say "it's okay to do that because it's clearly just the wilderness speaking to her!!!!!" and if the showrunners want to continue the ambiguity then they Need to handle it carefully and accurately.

i just feel misled by how they ended the season 1 finale and i hate that for those of us who theorized based on what was being put down, we're now being mocked for that theorizing. there's a difference between spending so much time on the subreddit that you think kevyn tan was wilderness baby, and actually using the canon season 1 finale as a springboard for discussion for a show that is meant to be theorized about.

i suppose what i expected from lottie in season 2 was to have something against the other survivors, and i'm starting to think having the implied antagonist be another survivor altogether would have been better. however... the teen storyline wasn't really giving that as a possibility until further into season 2, so they would have needed to do a fair bit differently in s1 as well for that to work.

another option would be for more focus on the main season 1 adults being the "villains" and for lottie to be Right, to be a sympathetic antagonistic that forces them to face what they did to her and to each other. that would track more with the road teen lottie is going down--stepping down as leader because they're placing unjust blame on her shoulders. and we almost did get that....... but then they went and unmedicated her and made her incite a hunt as if she weren't against it in the teen timeline from what we have so far seen.

we did get the "we're why she's like this" line which i appreciate, because even though lottie did get violent it at least... somewhat shows that the actions of others encouraged her. it shows that they do make her worse.

but we also get her acceptance as a teen that the others can hear the wilderness now, so i struggle to believe they needed her to be an unmedicated mess to re-incorporate the wilderness into the adult timeline. the girlies def are more likely to recognize that and tai's fugue state as the wilderness than... shauna butchering a rabbit or still seeing jackie, but i feel like there were other ways to have a story here.

adult lottie could've even been striving for some revenge plot WHILE fully medicated so it wouldn't be as much of a mental illness portrayal issue, depending on how much medication can reliably quiet those traits.

maybe if they were leaning more into the supernatural she could've been a more... in-control conduit for the wilderness as an adult without mental health being the concern, even tho i know that ruins a lot of the foundation for the show. i would've loved to see something with her thinking she'd been freer in her more primal state in the wilderness, unmedicated and unjudged to explain her scream upon rescue... but then again that could be harmful because of the "medication stifles your true self!1!1!" bullshit we already deal with in real life.

and part of me when it comes to queer rep (as a queer) does have a tiny "this is not a show for positive happy ending kinds of rep" voice in the back of my head. but because the whole focus here really is about mental illness vs. the supernatural in regards to violent barbaric cannibalistic hunting rituals... i have to urge some caution when the rest of the media landscape isn't much better with Scarier mental illnesses, esp in horror. i can't blame this specific show for that but i do feel like they have the option to do things better, even if i don't exactly know how that might be.

#yellowjackets tag #again this is just a dumb rambling and i need to do more research if i wanted to ever do fics about how it couldve gone better #or actual meta posts i'm just... trying to articulate things and maybe failing

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

Something I've thought a lot about in connection with Louis' promo, and that maybe underlies (consciously or unconsciously) some portion of people's frustration with it is that the story Louis has chosen to tell about himself for a while now has a lot of the elements and flavor of a character arc, essentially. From the high of the band, to the lows of the hiatus and what followed for him personally, to him finding himself and his self-confidence as a solo artist. I don't think there's any problem with telling that story, but the structure of a story like that suggests movement, and suggests an end. He's found his self-confidence as a solo artist, now what's the new thing he's going to do with that self-confidence. Obviously, real people's lives don't work like that, it's not like you just get over your struggles and then it's done and you move on totally, but in the telling of it as a public narrative, I can sympathize a bit with people who feel like we've been at the end of this story for a few years (I think the version of the narrative we're hearing now is more developed for sure, but not at base very different from what it was with Walls). And that makes me curious about why Louis continues to choose to tell the story that way. Is it just that that's how he still sees himself, still at the end phase of that story and not ready to move on to something new? Or, is there some part of it attributable to the pandemic? Like, this was kind of the narrative he wanted for the documentary all along, and in a non-pandemic world it would've come out in late 2020, early 2021 and served as like, a cap to the end of that personal journey so he could move on from it, except then the pandemic happened and now that's been stretched over two more years? I'm clearly just speculating, I don't know the answer, I doubt we can or will ever know the answer, but I do find it interesting to think about.

I think this is incredibly insightful anon - and a really important point.

I agree that Louis has been telling the same arc for a while now and there is something unsatisfying about it as an observer. You describe the arc very accurately - and why it's unsatisfying.

And here's what's particularly interesting to me - it's unsatisfying even though from this distance it's clear that it's reasonably true. Figuring out that he wants to do music and releasing his first singles was a step on the way. Walls was a step on the way. The livestreams were a step on the way. The tour was a step on the way. Faith in the Future was a step on the way. Everytime he's told that story he has been noticeably more confident and more sure of himself as an artist than he was before. But that doesn't make it interesting.

I don't really think this is attributable to the pandemic. If he has really planned a documentary that long, the best time to release it would always have been after touring with or after the album. There would have been one fewer round without the AWFH festival livestream - but the livestream story was much more specific anyway.

I think it's much more about the demands of promo and the difference between people's lives and stories. One of the key aspects of promo is that it requires to present your life in a tidy digestable way - a story that people can understand. A narrative of growth is a great thing to present, and because growth is very slow - it makes sense people tell it for the first time before they're anywhere near done.

Harry and Liam do similar things in their promo - they tell the same story over and over again. (I'm interested in what Niall's doing with this promo round, although I haven't caught up yet). I do think that they do so for slightly different reasons. I think Liam is actually in a loop between different sorts of behaviour - and frames one part of the loop as recovery, but is actually going through a loop over and over again. I don't know about Harry - I find it hard to believe any of it's true and think it's largely what he thinks a rockstar would be doing and feeling (but I've no idea if that's accurate). Where as I think Louis is getting more comfortable with himself. But the reasons that they're all telling this story over and over again is the demands of hte promo cycle.

I think there are two related questions that you've maybe jumped ahead of - the first is does Louis see this as a problem? And also is it a problem? I don't know the answer to either of these. I don't know how it lands outside of a very narrow selection of people who are a bit frustrated (but most understand their frustration through a different lens). A lot of artists aren't very good at telling stories about themselves, certainly not in the rapacious way that the internet demands. Louis may not have many other stories he wants to tell about himself at the moment.

I don't know the answer the two questions that began the previous paragraph - and I am interested in what other people think.

#I think part of the question #is what other story would he tell? #Another thought #is the fact that this story resonates more than the stories Lima and Harry keep telling #mean that fans are more frustrated with having it repeated