The twins are not okay(I promise)
Incorrect quotes #438 Protect Mc
Luci/Dia/Barb: When I'm lonely, I become hungry. And when I become hungry, I want to choke on that (bleep) of yours, (bleep) your (bleep) and lick all of your (bleep), before putting in my (bleep) and (bleep)ing with more teeth until you're screaming (bleeeeeeeeeeeep) like a fucking baby!
Mam*Takes their phone and breaks it, crushed it and puts it in the blender to give it to Beel*Eat this, And you know that bridge over the freeway?
Beel: Yeah?*Drink the phone*
Mam*In demon form*SHIT OFF IT
*Asmo was with Lucifer/Diavolo/Barbatos...and could only stare in utter shock at what they said to you...Asmo ended up lecturing them*
May I please request baby satan booping diavolos nose? 🙂 Congrats on your growing blog!
One side sees a boop, the other one feels a smack 😌
Please tell us about the weirdest thing MC (or anyone else) have witnessed Brothers doing
The weirdest thing the brothers were seen doing! Featuring: Students of RAD
What is the strangest thing you’ve seen Lucifer do?
“Chug a bottle of monster energy drink. And i know people do this all the time, but to see HIM do it? Nuh-uh.”
“Oh! I saw him do a cartwheel in the yard! It was after school, and I was on duty, and i dont think he knew I was there! So he just— Cartwheel!”
“Saw him eat pizza with copsticks. Use your hands fam, ain’t nobody gonna judge you for that. Eating it with shopsticks tho? Nahhhhhh.”
Whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen Mammon do?
“A backflip! A BACKFLIP. Backflips aren’t weird I understand how you’d want to do thay randomly, but YOU, can do a BACKFLIP? UNHEARD OF!”
“He walked pass me and I SWEAR i heard him say something along the lines of — nah he got a big booty — under his breath. I swear.”
“He— he just. He just threw balloon art at his brother in class? Where the hell did you get that, how the hell did you make that, and how did nobody hear you making it.”
Whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen leviathan do?
“come to school. Seeing his face here is so rare that we often ask ourselves— who the hell is that? but then we notice oh its that guy we played pubG with.”
“you know how guys do that thing where they re-arrange their hair by running a hand through it? I saw him do that, and boy oh boy… that forehead was HUGE. It was weird.”
“He talked in class. Man never says nothin’ and then he just does randomly?? Ain’t no way fr.”
Whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen Satan do?
“Be with a group of friends. Yeah, its like… normal to have friends, but seeing him just be with them is weird cause he mentions them but is never WITH them.”
“Heard the man swear. I turned my head ‘round so fast, I swear I broke my neck. I was like ??? it was funny”
“HE STARTED MEOWING OUT OF NOWHERE?? At your big age you’re pretending to be a cat? IM SCARED!”
Whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen Asmodeus do?
“Uh, everything he does is weird.”
“My boy brought a whole 20 pack makeup set to school, for what babes? Who the hell did you need to clown up this time?”
“This was a long time ago but he once dyed his hair green it was so ugly. im sorry asmo!”
Whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen Beelzebub do?
“Pick up random guys. Like no, he legit, physically picked them up. Like… how..??? Like yes king deadlift 300 pounds on one arm but, why?”
“He just eats everything like a vaccum. We students are in full SPRINT when its lunch time so he doesnt eat everhthing.”
Whats the weirdest thing you’ve seen Belphegor do?
“I don’t see him do much.”
“He’s always laying around, nothing weird about that. Every time I see him Im like same cause bro these classes make me wanna *hand gestures to death*”
“He’s cute sleeping. Hes always sleeping? I know, its really fucking hot to miss classes because lmao im tired”
Asmo: Welcome to our Deviltube channel where we try different hair products!
Beel: *Picks up hairspray and sprays it directly into his mouth*
Beel: I can tell you right off the bat that this one’s not very good.
- The one who can tell if you're uncomfortable and if that happens he will immediately snatch you up.- The type of person who can walk into you in the bathroom while you're showering and discuss matters with you.
- Encourages you to talk to other people but if you actually do he will wear some cheap ass disguise and follow you.
- Pulls your bra strap for fun.
- The type of friend that if a sad anime episode came up he will not watch it if you're not with him because through sadness and health bitch.
- He loves leaning on you for some reason.
- You two go on a late-night drive and instead of relaxing it turned into a comedy show because of how angry he is as a driver.
- If you like someone he will write a book about you two and your happy ever after with that person. But he will write a story about you and him being best friends forever first.
- He might not seem like it but he will purposely dress down so you look sexier.
- He will ask you "How many times do you shave your pubes?" or "Can you check if I have an ingrown hair in my ass?"
- You two will dress really nice and act like rich ass motherfuckers then come up to AkuDonalds and ask how much the whole store is.
- He has the type of mindset that says "Your property is also my property". So don't expect to eat something without him asking for a bite.
- You two hate each other at first then Beel locked you both up in the same room and then you two started talking about how shit humans are.
- If you post a picture of you on Devilgram he is the type of person to comment "I'll murder for you."
What our boys and dateables gain from MC is fulfillment in whatever form that needs to take. For Beel, he’s less hungry for food; Mammon doesn’t need to gamble as much (he will, because he’s also a creature of habit); Belphie feels less empty inside, willing to be awake more. Satan can expand his emotions, especially the ones that are harder for him, like passion and love, without falling back into anger. (I hc that strong emotions for him tend to be very difficult for him to achieve because of his wrath) Diavolo finds you not only interesting and exciting, but also finds a warmth from you he’s never experienced. Levi finds new purpose within him with you around, and finds ways to believe in himself again (slowly tho…) Asmo finds himself not having to seek attention from others, his heart is full around you. Lucifer fills unburdened by you. Yes you prank him with Satan and Belphie, and sometimes get drug into Mammon’s schemes; but you also bring him coffee at the end of the night, you assist him with his work, and the warmth and happiness you’ve brought him and his brothers is deeply appreciated. You’ve allowed this eternally worrying man to have less to worry about. You brought Solomon something he hasn’t had in hundreds of years, companionship. You brought Luke a surrogate mother XD, but have also helped expand his horizons and bridge the feelings he has for both humans and demons.
The only one I stick on is Simeon. It’s obvious you’ve brought him friendship, sparked romantic feelings in him. This will sound weird, but bear with me, you’ve brought him out of the shadows. Since the fall of the brothers, he’s never seen the celestial realm the same, he’s said so in multiple ways. I think he viewed everything and everywhere in muted tones. Until he met you, and suddenly the world he saw was vibrant again. He would never risk you to the point he stole from Michael to save you and the brothers. He’s realized that there is more, so much more beyond the celestial realm that he’s willing to risk everything for you.
Hello guys haven’t posted in a while after taking a brake and heading for exams hhh now it’s over time to feed u guys with lucifer in his top tier outfit of all time 👌👌👌😘😘😘😘😘
Mammon: MC are you cold?
MC who is under 5 blankets and cuddling next to beel: no mammon I just like blankets- OF CORSE IM COLD-
Summary: MC comes home from a long work day at Hell’s Kitchen and they just wanna relax. But with the brothers, that’s wishful thinking. So what happens when the Wrathful Eyes land on the bros?
You practically collapse through the front door of the House, dragging your feet and dropping your bag on a chair before flopping face down onto the couch.
“It’ll be worth it. You can save up and get that game.” You mumble, convincing yourself that this will be worth it in the end. But first you need a nap in your bed, with that in mind you drag yourself off the couch and shuffle up to your room.
“Are you kidding me…” you groan once you walk in. Belphie was fast asleep in your bed. You thought about using your pact to make him move but you really didn’t have the energy. With a whine you walk away and head to back down to the kitchen thinking about some donuts you had gotten from Akuber you had been saving.
“Hey I didn’t know you got back, MC.” Beel greets, you would’ve greeted him back if it wasn’t for the fact he was stuffing his face with your donuts.
“Beeeeeel.” You whine. The demon takes a moment to look at you then down at what he was eating and the dots connected.
“Oh I’m sorry!” He felt bad you knew this but just held a hand up.
“Don’t worry about it.” You quickly said. You made your way out of the kitchen and almost got knocked over when Mammon ran and hide behind you from Asmo and Levi, both in demon form.
“Mammon how dare you! That make up palette is a limited edition!” Asmo shouts.
“And so is that Rui-Chan plushie!” Levi added, his tail whipping around.
“You guys never use them for anythin! What’s the harm??” Mammon retorted.
“Can you guys keep it down?” Satan hisses as he walks in, Lucifer following behind him to see what was going on.
Asmo Levi and Mammon keep bickering back and forth with you in the middle until-
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” You scream as your eyes glow like a rainbow LED light. The pact magic flows through the brothers in the room and they snap their mouths shut. Beel finally peaks in and freezes.
“Mammon give back whatever the fuck you stole from these two. Now.” You ordered, lite up eyes landing on him. Like clock work he moves and hands back what he took and that made them calm down enough to change back.
“Why thank you MC~!” Amso purred but shuts his mouth again upon seeing the look on your face.
"I just worked twelve fucking hours, had my lunch stolen, was harassed by assholes who didn't tip, Belphie stole my bed, and Beel ate my snacks.” You ranted as you walked away from the group. “So, I'm going to sleep in Belphie's bed. If any of you wake me up before I have to get ready for school tomorrow, I'm going to destroy whatever thing you hold most dear."
You release the pact and slam the door shut to the twins’ room. The six of them look to one another as if asking what just happened.
“You know it’s one thing to see them snap at others.” Levi began. “But to be on the receiving end…”
“Scary.” Amso whispers.
“It was an empty threat. They’d never do something that rash to us.” Mammon laughs. “….right?”
“I don’t dare to wait and find out.” Satan turns around and goes back into his room. Lucifer on the other looks to the others.
“You’d be wise to follow that statement.” He warns.
Beel on the other goes back into the kitchen and thinks somethings over before making a plan to himself.
“Whoever that is, you have about 5 seconds to tell me why you’re in here before I-”
Your threat crumbles on your tongue when you sat up and find Beel trying to sneak a box with the Akuber logo onto the night stand by his twin’s bed.
“Sorry I was trying really hard not to wake you.” He frowns and hands you the box instead. “I feel bad so I got you some more donuts. Two of each.”
“Oh…thank you.” You smile.
“Since you’re awake, I can pick up Belphie so you can have your bed back.” Beel offers.
“That’s sweet Beel but I’m okay here.” You yawns. The demon nods and hurried back out to let you sleep.
“WE’RE SORRY WE’RE SORRY!”
Belphie grumbles at the loud voices. What did those idiots do now?
With a huff, he drags himself out of your bed and slowly walks out of your room, his pillow in his left arm.
He was expecting to find Levi Asmo and Mammon bowing on the ground begging mercy from Lucifer. What he does find leaves him holding in a laugh.
“MC PLEASE I’M SORRY!” Mammon begs.
“We didn’t mean to! Honest dear!” Amso cried.
“Have mercy!” Levi whined.
You were standing tall as the three demons beg at your feet, eyes a flame in wrath green as you hold a make up palette, Ruri-Chan plushie and Goldie in a death grip. The aura around you even matched Lucifer’s when he was in this position.
“What happened?” Belphie yawns as he joined his twin’s side.
“Idiots.” Satan groans.
“Should we do something?” Beel asks. Satan shakes his head. If anyone of them knew better it would be him since he can feel your anger.
“Just leave them be.” Satan answers.
Hell hath no fury like a pissed off human.
Who Gives the Best Massages [Obey Me! Headcanons]
Obey Me! Masterlist
Ranked from best to worst
Barbatos - It’s canon that he gives the best massages. Just ask Diavolo. He’s attentive, uses the right lotions, remains professional, and will adjust to whatever feedback you have for him. He just wants to help you relax.
Asmodeus - He does give very good massages and know exactly what products to use to leave the skin and muscles feeling relaxed and refreshed. He can get a bit sexual if you don’t set boundaries with him, though.
Simeon - He’s not the strongest, so he can’t do too much deep tissue, but he does have a very nice touch. His presence is just relaxing to be in, so even a surface level massage would be nice.
Diavolo - His hands are warm and he’s strong. He can do deep tissue massages no problem. You’ll just need to communicate with him when it gets to be too much. Unless you have a high pain tolerance, he won’t be able to apply too much pressure. He has learned quite a bit from his massages from Barbatos.
Mammon - He’ll gripe about it and say that he better get a massage in return, but once he’s done complaining, he’s surprisingly good at it. He’s helped taken care of his brothers if they’ve gotten hurt. He’s also very attentive to how much pressure to apply.
Lucifer - He’s also learned some things from Barbatos, but he seldom gets massages. Still, he’s massaged his own neck before and knows how to release knots. It’s painful, though. Super painful. It’ll feel a lot better afterwards, but the massage itself hurts.
Satan - Knows that anatomy and basics of giving a massage. It’s not bad, but you can tell he’s only ever read about different massage techniques and has never given a massage before. After some practice, he’ll get better!
Beelzebub - He’s able to do deep tissue and knows how muscles should lay, but he’s afraid to apply too much pressure and treats you like glass.He can’t use too much lotion or oils because of how they’ll smell - even the unscented stuff. It smells like food. His hands will rub against your skin a bit more than they should. But it’s still a decent massage.
Solomon - He’s okay at them...But he always wants to use a weird lotion or a potion he brewed. Hopefully you don’t have sensitive skin. If he do want a massage with him, you’ll have to limit what products he can use on your skin.
Leviathan - The boy has issues with his wrists and doesn’t have a lot of stamina when it comes to applying pressure to your skin. That, and you being naked or partially naked would make him freak out. When he does get comfortable, he’ll only be able to do a light massage and he’ll be clammy the whole time.
Belphegor - He’ll help you relax, but he’ll just get a machine to massage your back unless you beg him. Even then, he won’t last long. He’ll get tired and demand that you massage his back instead.
Luke can walk on your back or something to pop it I guess.
Obey me red Tokyo tower collaboration
Be quiet he’s sleeping 💤
Eating Out - Brothers’ Ed.
Request: Hi, I hope you’re having a good day! Could I get some eating out headcanons like you did for Beelzebub but for all the other brothers? Thank you so much!
A/N: I think most of my things turn into short stories so this will be a mix of my headcanons at how they eat/a mini story w/ no dialogue. Enjoy! (afab reader, but gn pronouns!)
While he can be giving, and takes great pride in making you feel good, he is also one to tease. He knows your body better than anyone else will ever get to know, knows just where to touch you to give you a strained, bashful smile. Lucifer kisses so softly and wickedly, exposing all of you with just his tongue. There’s no need to rush when you’re before him, when you’re with a body heavy with lust, that even if you could go anywhere, you would choose to stay in front of him with parted legs. His tongue parts through you, reaching deep inside of you, and he’s thankful that of all his attributes that are less than human presenting, it’s his tongue, and just how much you enjoy it without having to warm up to it. He can be soft, and loving, and make you release without begging, but then again, he wants to know just how far he can push you, just how much until you’re whining and begging for him- pleading with a raspy voice and desperation so thick on your words that it burns a hole in him.
You’ve teased him all day long and at first it was cute- you trying to be coy and letting your hands linger too long around his neck, but then the antics grew. Your hands grab at his thigh under the table, you sent him pictures when you knew he was around Diavolo when you knew that he would always open a message from you no matter where he is. It excited him; knowing just how much you wanted him, knowing that the result would end with you bent over his knee as he worked his fingers inside of you- with your bum sore and flushed from his hand. You didn’t even try to deny punishment, grabbing his hand eagerly and following him to his study with a growing smile pulled on your lips. You smile at him behind closed doors, and it doesn’t take long to undress you when you lean close to him. His gaze is cold, and his smile is pulled taut as he pushes you on his couch.
It’s a sight to behold to see someone such as himself on their knees. His hands are gloved and the texture is smooth on your legs. Your gaze is wide and he’s sure that you must think your punishment won’t be severe- that you might actually come out of this unscathed. But his smile is mean, and his reddened eyes predatory and filled with blood as he dips his head between your legs. There’s no need to tease you when you know what’s to come. His tongue is flat, licking a long stripe from the bottom of your sex, the tip sliding against your entrance, until it reaches at your clit, pulsing with want. You’re already aroused, dripping onto the seat without shame. He keeps your legs spread, leering over your exposed cunt, watching as it beads with your excitement and shining under the light. It’s a sight that he commits to memory, wanting to always remember just how perfect every part of your body is- something suiting both you and him.
He’s gentle at first, leading you in security. Your heavy sighs and moans fill his ears and for a moment, he forgets just how he wanted to tease you. He leaves himself there, kissing your sex so sweetly that it makes a chill run down your spine. His face is buried, breaths and tongue filled with your essence. You’re all that consumes him as he feasts upon you, his tongue tasting and slithering its way inside of you, feeling your gummy insides mold to him, clenching tightly around his tongue. Your hands are fisted in his hair, and you’re croaking out his name in a prayer, calling him and claiming just how close you are and he stops himself. He sees how your body falls and hears the pitiful want in your voice and once more, he repeats the process- teasing and kissing you so nicely, and making you want him, and just when he can feel the familiar twitch and tightening of your body, does he pull away with heavy eyes and deep breathing.
Arousal has soaked the seat and filled his stomach. You’re shaking and trying to rub yourself against his buried face and he is much stronger than you will ever be. You’re tired, voice raspy and low, your nails having clawed on the couch, and cunt wet with slick and his spit. This is turning out far more pleasurable- seeing the frustration and anguish clear on your expression and he has a smug grin. Lucifer is taking great joy in seeing just how long he can deny you your own pleasure. It’s a sight that rivals that of your own quivering cunt that flutters around nothing. Dipping his head back down, he grins into you, and feels just how much you need him. Your cries are getting louder and finally, you’re apologizing for trying to tease him. You promise to be better and he knows that it’s a false promise but when you call his name with tears, he can’t help but give in to you and your wants. He rests his face there, not pulling away when he feels your high approach and letting it spill on him and spill onto the couch. Your body collapses, and you thank him under your breath.
You are a shining light to him, and he needs you to know that. Giving to you, brings him immense joy. He eats feverishly, his mind blank, only your sounds of pleasure and the calling of his name echoed, and he doesn’t need anything else but you. His hands are on every part of you that he can hold- tight around your waist, interlaced with your hands, cupping at a breast and tweaking at your budding nipples- he just needs to touch you. It’s this primal urge in him to mark you- to rub his scent over you and let everyone know that you are his. Sex only enhances that urge- getting to feel your skin, delicate under his nails, and spilling with red when he digs them just a bit too deep, only to be kissed away. He moans and whines, letting you know that being before you is a pleasure on its own. It’s sloppy and messy, and it feels so good to know that he’s making you feel good- that you’re holding onto him and begging to kiss his lips that are touched by your arousal.
He isn’t sure what it is when he’s with you, but there’s just something there that leaves him always wanting you. He wants you in every type of way- beside him, infatuated, clinging to him- just simply there. You’re his, and he is yours and whatever you ask of him, there’s very little chance that he would actually deny you. So, when you ask to go for a drive with just him, he’s more than happy to fulfill that request for you. His hand is on your thigh, and his eyes are on the road and every so often, he casts a glance towards you- watching as you tap your hands with the beat of the song and stare out the window. You’re in the outskirts of the town, the glow from the buildings is nothing more than just that- a blur of lights together that are dim. You give him a cheeky grin, and it takes just a little bit of flirting for both of you to move to the back of the car, limbs entangled with one another in a cramped space. Your lips are on him, and the space is tight, and you're clutching onto him, kissing at every inch of his exposed skin and he’s taking it all in, savoring the feel of your lips against his skin.
Maybe it’s his sin, or maybe it’s you that has him so unsatisfied, so unhappy with what he is given, but he needs more, craves it and needs it like he needs air. It’s you that he needs in the back of his car, his body bent and cramped as you lay on the seat with your sex exposed to him. A chaste kiss is pressed against your thigh, followed by his lips pressed against your sex, hands on you grabbing and massaging at your thighs, feeling the plush skin soften and mold to his hands. It’s messy almost immediately, drool slipping past his pursed lips and staining your glistening cunt. His head spins, and his muscles are cramped and he just needs you before him, air be damned. He could live off of you forever, could never come up for air if it meant that you would continue to look at him with half-lidded eyes and a parted lips.
Nails pinch at your plush skin, marks appearing immediately and he can feel your body tense and jerk with every random touch. Your body is bent as he's sure you're going to feel that later, but at the moment, he cares for nothing but how you look at the moment- hair disheveled, face flushed with pleasure, his hands on you, and your eyes fixed on him. In that moment, you look better than any other prized jewel he’s ever laid eyes on. He’s suckling on your clit, swirling his tongue over the engorged bud that pulses erratically. You’re calling his name and he’s nodding along, moaning murmured words into your heat, asking what more could you want of him, what more could he do just to have you here with him in the back of his car.
Desire burns in him, greater than any flame, greater than anything he’s ever felt before and it’s because of you. He yearns to taste you, to memorize you- all of you- till he’s sure he could find you blind. You’re kept close to him, unable to squirm away both from the tight space and his hands. He holds onto you- letting his nails rake down, lines swelling over where he touched, and burning in its wake. Hearing the way you hiss and feeling how your cunt humps at his face in a desperate attempt, has his heart racing, beating against his ribs like a panicked bird. Your arousal seeps onto his tongue and smears across his chin, and with the lewd wet, clicking sounds, it is evident that you’re close. Your hands clutch at the crown of his head, and his name is croaked past your lips, and he lifts his head to watch your eyes shut tight, your mouth parted as your other hand twists around the seatbelt. Your orgasm is sweet, filling his mouth and lingering on his tongue and as you shake and you let your body slack, he is still kissing you- letting his tongue lick at your slit, wanting to taste every bit of you that you have left for him. Mammon looks up at you with eyes that match yours and his hands are on your thighs, and he kisses softly, lets his tongue drag against your rim and lips purse around your budding clit as he feels your hands soothe over his now knotted hair.
Whether its the first time or the hundredth, Leviathan can be hesitant towards sex. His nerves and anxiety gets the best of him, and it leads to every touch being shaky and hesitant, a grip that’s just a bit too tight and it’s his face that’s flushed rather than yours. However, while the beginning of giving to you can be slow and ponderous, he gets into it fairly quickly. It might be due to years of repressed and perverted thoughts, but once he has a taste of you, he’s extremely focused. Your pleasure is the things that keeps him going- keeping his face to your sex, letting his tongue unfurl inside of you and take all that he can from you. Having you so close to him fuels his pleasure- hearing such perverse sounds and knowing that he's the cause of it all, knowing that he could taste and feel all of you and that you’d want him because it’s his name that it repeated and cried into an empty room. He is anything but silent, moaning and praising, the sound of his tongue clicking and moans filling the room and matching your own cries.
Of course you’d find him in his room, his headset on as he yells into the microphone before angrily stepping onto the ground in quick, repeated motions. You voice your concern- a hint of a playfulness that he isn’t having fun, and concern that maybe he should take a break. He doesn’t need much convincing afterwards, choosing to shut down everything until his reflection stares at him through the monitor. The bed- or futon, but he decided that futon sounded too immature- whines under his added weight. He buries his head into your stomach, eyes closed and a headache slowly beginning to form between his brows. Your hand scratches at his scalp and the soft, hypnotic motions has his mind feeling heavy, and it’s almost disgusting how this seemingly innocent moment of comfort has something beginning to ache in his trousers. Perhaps that’s the perk of being a shut-in- it doesn’t take much to get him going, especially when it’s you.
It’s embarrassing to ask you- almost as if it’s some shameful thing- but he cups your sex with his hand and looks at you with red pooling on his cheeks and on the tip of his nose, and you don’t deny him. Desperation soaks in him as he removes your clothing, and it’s so apparent that he wants you, that he just needs you at this moment. With your sex exposed in front of him, your knees bent and your index just teasing at your clit, he goes drunk on your cunt without taking a single taste. His mind goes blank- and suddenly he’s just aware of you- you heartbeat- your heavy, slow breathing and the way that your fingers ghost over your clit and your other hand clenches at the bedsheet under you. His mouth is dry and his tongue is heavy, and he can’t form a single coherent thought that doesn’t involve you and your cunt.
He is drunk off your arousal- pupils dilated and hands holding you to his face as if he had never touched you before. His mouth suckles on your clit, feeling the swell of it throb on his tongue and he yearns to hear your moans- to feel your back arch and legs cross over his back to keep him in place. If that’s where you want him, he’d never leave- he stays there, hands holding onto your bum and nose nuzzled to your clit as his tongue sweeps over the rim of your entrance. He can feel your twitches and your muscles tensing and he’s stuck between staying with his head resting between your thighs, or watching you, but then if he were to let go, he’d miss all of this- miss feeling so connected to you with just a single part of him.
The deepest, and most intimate part of you is exposed to Leviathan and any other time, it would have reduced him to a flustered mess, except that today it reduces him to a desperate mess that only seeks to touch you. It’s his name that you are calling. No one else’s but his and he takes that so well, moaning and nipping gently at your vulva, letting his tongue lick over the superficial wound when your cry is just a bit sharper than usual. He just can’t help it. He needs to hear you cry- he needs this. His mind is swirling, spiraling in depravity as he stretches his tongue as far as it can go- licking at your cervix and pulling back and strands of spit connect from his mouth to your lips and you look so filthy and all he can think about is stretching your further. His hands meet your sex, slick coating his fingertips and it’s his meal wasted. With his face pressed so close to you, he can feel it all. He feels your high, feels your walls tighten around his tongue, the way that your clit pulses and the sweet essence that fills his tongue with ambrosia and honey. He hums in content, pushing his face deeper into sex, parting only when you call his name. He wants more- needs more. He needs all of you at this very moment, needs to show you just how far his love goes.
It’s no surprise that Satan would excel at whatever it is he does. He’s precise, knowing exactly where to touch you, knowing where to kiss and which part of you is most sensitive. He wants to see every part of you- wants to know that he’s the one that is causing such obscene sounds to sing past your lips. Even if you’ve already reached your peak, he holds you there, tongue and mouth still fixated on your sex. He doesn’t dare to let go; doesn’t dare to kiss away from you, to leave your sex alone and quivering without anything there to keep you warm. You’re there till he lets you go, until he’s gotten his full, until he’s sure that you would never forget him and that way that he makes you feel; that even if you’re alone, you’d remember him and that way that he felt.
While it can be argued that he has his own library stuffed into his room, it still isn’t rare for either of you to be caught in the library- either one of you focused on a book or simply just wanting to be read outloud to. It is rare, however, for the two of you to be undisturbed, the house empty of all inhabitants, only to leave the two of you alone. You sit on a chaise lounge, snuggled at the corner with your phone in hand- your partner placing stacks of books on the table, and his eyes catching yours every now and again. His steps are quiet, the books neatly organized and unblemished from the years of care. You only spare him a smile when he makes his way to you, and when he’s on his knees before you, do you actually give him all of your attention. Your eyes are wide, curiosity tilting at your head that friends him of a cat, and when his name escapes your lips, does he grab at your leg and whisper a spell to give him easy access to you. His name is repeated in a familiar chastising tone, and he can only give you a mischievous grin that is placed against your knee.
He leaves a trail of kisses from the outside of your knee, curving slowly to the inside of your thigh. His eyes are closed, and even so, he remembers where every freckle lies, craning his neck to kiss at each, running his hands and curving them around your thigh, waves of cellulite running under his palm. Meeting you sex, he kisses you, spreading your folds with his tongue and gripping you in his palms. He revels in the way that you sound- every swish and lewd squelching that runs on his tongue as he pulls you close to him. He’s humming and nuzzling his way against you, savoring every taste and spill onto his tongue. Even if he’s just begun, you’re already gripping his hair, knitting your hands and scratching his scalp.
There is no need for him to breathe when he has you right here, when he’s so consumed by all of you. His tongue runs against you, massaging as far as it can reach, moaning and nodding along when you cry and call his name. When you tell him that you’re close, he keeps at his pace, his nose buried into your sex and heart beating against his ribs as you squirm and cry. His nails pierce into your skin, pink crescents adoring your body, your cunt pulsing with want and breaths heavy as you call for him, and only him, begging for him. He releases a hand from you to work its way between his mouth and your cunt. He enters you with ease, massaging your inners with his index and middle finger. He is insatiable, your arousal dripping onto his chin, and onto the chaise lounge, and onto the carpet.
Your cries are louder now, and you’ve spilled onto his mouth and tongue, staining him with your orgasm. Your body shudders, shaking with the afterglow, and when he keeps kissing at your sex, you try to pull away, muttering out how you’re still too sensitive and the ever caring lover that he is, he continues to kiss you. He hooks a leg and holds you steady, preventing you from squirming away and he only pulls away from you to watch as your cunt trembles and flutters around nothing, leaking with syrupy strands, a pulsing want burning him from the inside. Your lips are puffed and his own must match yours, and your sweet voice calls out to him, a whimper to kiss you and perhaps you want him to actually kiss you, but he could never get enough of you and your taste. He wants to make you feel good in the way that you do for him. He holds you close, savoring every taste and twitch that you give to him. His mouth never stops, and he is passionate and slow, eating in a way that makes you twist and cry.
Every kiss of his burns- a warmth that washes over you and lulls you closer to sin, a familiar warmth that starts as you heart quickens it’s pace, heat rushing to the shell of your ears, to the pit of your stomach and aching at your sex. Asmodeus is a giving lover- making sure to take his time, never wanting to rush such a sweet meal, always pulling you closer to his mouth, kissing at every inch of exposed skin. Your skin is dotted in his marks, a breath of love whispered as he moves to kiss you once more. Never wanting to rush, he takes his time until you’re whining, breathless with a hint of desperation laced into your words to finally touch you.
You lay with him, your lips puffed and gloss smeared on his lips and stained into the clothes. It’s a rare moment where neither of you are bothered by an outside force, simply stuck in a room together where you now are stuck to him, hands trailing over his body and holding onto his thigh, close to where his own cock has already begun to ache. Your breaths are heavy, and despite that, you can only pull away for a moment before you’re back to him. Every kiss kindles the flame inside of him, and the taste of your lips is intoxicating, spinning his mind until his lungs are empty of air and his mind is consumed by you.
Just a simple touch to your thighs is enough to have you moan into his mouth, trailing your lips to kiss at his neck and beg just beneath his ear. He hasn’t even begun to fully touch you, and you’re already clinging to him, begging for more and he could never deny you- not when you ask so sweetly. You lay on the bed, and your clothes and his are discarded over the floor of the room. His palms sink into your soft thighs, manicured nails lightly scratching at your skin as he kisses from your collarbone, down between your breasts, to your navel and finally breathing upon your sex, letting the tip of his tongue swipe at your trembling bud. He feels how much you want him, can sense it past his own sin and sense it in the connection that he has with you. He so desperately wants you- he kisses the pulse in your core, feels the way that your feelings beat against him, and tastes you.
Perhaps it is mean of his to tease you so much- especially when you’re writhing under him and calling his name with a croak, wanting him to really taste you, but he can’t help it. He adores the sound of your voice, the frustration and how your sex twitches every time he so much as breathes against it- against you. His lips kiss at the inside of your thighs, his tongue soothing over where he bites. Your heels dig into the comforter, and hands twist the fabric and reach for anything to just hold tightly. There’s a desperate want in him, something so primal and so him, that he needs to touch every inch of your skin, to kiss and bite until he’s satisfied. It’ll always go past his sin with you, past anything that you could ever begin to fathom and he’s leaving his mark on you, decorating you with everything that he is. Your hands run through his hair, and he can feel how warm his own body is, sweat slick against his forehead and burning his cheeks. He’s grateful that you can’t see him in this moment, and though you would find him beautiful, he needs the moment of pure lust and adoration to be just his for a moment.
Deciding that you’ve been teased just enough, he finally meets your sex with his tongue. The tip of his muscle swirls around the pulsing bud, every beat of your want and hunger vibrates against his tongue. His mouth trails down, tongue slipping into your entrance, tasting your sweet arousal that pours out in honeyed strands and slips down his throat and warms his own desire. The tip of his nose brushes against your clit with every push and swirl of his tongue and lips, every moan that trembles past your lips pushes him deeper against you, smothered by your sex and thighs. Blood rushes to his ears and his face is sticky with your arousal, and you are shameless and inviting, calling out his name with such amour, chest heaving with every breath and moan. Asmodeus pulls away with a lazy cunning smile and wet lips, your body shaking in the afterglow, and without waiting for you to calm from your high, he returns to your sex, his index and middle finger squirming inside of your silky walls.
Eating Out - Beelzebub Ed.
Belphegor’s sin embeds itself into his whole being, it makes his whole body feel heavy as if he were carrying weights on his shoulders. Everything is such a chore to the youngest brother, and it shows in his movements. Sex isn’t always so slow, but it’s the lead up to it that makes it feel as if he’s intentionally teasing you, pushing you to the brink with every lick and feel of his touch. He’s slow, kissing at your sex with such a heaviness, his tongue swiping against your folds and face buried into your sex. It’s all so sweet and tantalizing, making your body arch and curl, hands fisted into his hair as he can feel your sex throb against his tongue. He doesn’t mean to tease you, but it isn’t as if he's sorry about the results.
It’s late and both he and you should be asleep, but he can’t help it. You couldn’t help yourself to him, kissing him and grinding your hips over his. His eyes are closed, heavy from sleep and your own lust that fills his lungs and lingers on his tongue. It would be silly of him to deny you anything, not when you’re kissing him so sweetly, not when your own taste is more alluring than sleep at the moment. You’re on your back and the covers are pushed to the side, teetering towards the edge of the bed and his hands make quick work to discard you of your clothes. You’re so warm, so soft and supple under him. His fingers sink into your thighs, into the soft mound of your stomach and without wasting a second, he dips his head between your thighs.
Slick already wets his lips, and pools on his tongue as the tip of this tongue licks a strip against your entrance. Your muscles twitch, a reflex as his tongue teases against your leaking cunt, arousal beading out in pearly strands. He lifts his head, nose grazing over your clit in a way that feels too hot and not enough, and his mouth latches on, suckling on the erect bud. Hands knit into his hair, his name mixed into moans as his cheeks hollow. He releases you with a pop, eyes half-lidded and face flushed; his erection is uncomfortable and strained in his pants, but it’s far too much work for him to actually do anything more than hump at the bed. Kisses are pressed against the inside of your thighs, close to the swell of your mound where his cheeks nules against it with every peck. Your thighs tense around his head, jerking under him and twitching with every kiss and pull until you’re trying to steer him with your hands still in his hair.
You’re needier than before, whining and thrusting your cunt into his face, trying to find any form of friction and he’s partially to blame. He’s going so slow, kissing your sex as if it were the first time, as if he were really kissing you. It’s all wet- slick and drool stuck to his chin as you whine his name in a breathless pitch. You’re pulsing- throbbing with such a force that for a moment, he thinks you’ve been really pent up, but that thought is quickly washed away when you start muttering about how close you are. At that moment, all he can focus on is getting you there. The tip of his tongue swirls the bud, vibrations sent to your core as he moans so lightly against you. He swipes down to work his tongue inside of you, swirling around your entrance and inside of your velvety walls that twitch and leak with your arousal.
Nails drag down on your skin, and he keeps you still- as much as he can anyways. Your moans are growing, echoing against the walls and reverberating in his ears, his mind only filled with you and everything silenced by you. He keeps himself fastened between your sex, unrelenting to give up his own space, never wanting to part from you without feeling everything that you can give to him- every spasm and twitch memorized by his tongue, your taste forever embedded in his mind, and he understands what it’s meant to be hungry as he seeks your high. He commits al of you into his memory- your sounds, and the way you call his name, breathless and strained but still full of want and need. Your orgasm washes over him, spills onto his tongue and he lets out such a needy whine with his lips still kissing at your sex. A warm color spreads from your chest to your face, and you stare up at him with a lazy smile. Belphegor can feel his own smile begin to twitch into life as well. With his lips still slick with your arousal, he kisses you, undoing his pants and letting the tip of his cock slide between you.
The Brothers + Cooking Headcanons
Lucifer knows functional cooking - he knows a few recipes by heart, it’s nothing amazing, but it gets the job done. It's generally edible, which at the end of the day, is the baseline that matters. It’s not that he’s not interested in cooking, it’s that he’s a busy man and he’s more interested in other subjects than this one.
When trying something new, he needs to follow a recipe beat by beat, and if one step along the way goes wrong, he struggles to save the dish. Quantities and cooking times need to be carefully monitored, because he doesn’t really have an improvisation sense in the kitchen.
Overall average cooking skills, but not bad. Don’t tell him this though, he’ll take it as a challenge to prove you wrong.
Mammon can't be left alone in the kitchen. He’s adhd incarnate when it comes to cooking: he might end up setting something on fire, and unless he takes the time to tidily organise everything (which he rarely does), he will end up forgetting some ingredients or chopping them badly in a hurry or just spill something all over the floor.
He tries, but lord, is he bad at it.
Levi finds a lot of recipes online. He generally doesn't put his heart in it - if he could survive off of ramen noodle cups he would (and in fact he might've in the past). When he does try, he is one of the best chefs in the house- that hand/eye coordination and multitasking sense he got from gaming and streaming really comes in handy to keep every little crisis under control and make awesome dishes in the process.
Possibly the second best cook in the house when he tries, but he’ll rarely do that.
Satan is surprisingly good at cooking. He gets his dedication and attention to detail from Lucifer, but unlike him, he's not shy from getting into it, improvising, and making great dishes. The combination of knowledge and sense of improvisation makes him quite a great cook.
Asmo is generally too lazy to cook; he is very into diets and healthy skin regimens, but he also will prefer buying everything ready-made rather than cooking it himself. When he tries (or he's forced to) the dishes he makes are not bad, but sometimes they're either too bland or overly seasoned, no in-betweens.
He does have a great eye for presentation though: his dishes are the most extravagant ones and they do look great.
Beel is actually a pretty good cook but he ends up eating A LOT of what he makes. This also means that he likely has the most practice out of everyone in the House of Lamentation for what regards cooking (yes, even accounting for the fact a solid 80% of the time he eats inedible/raw ingredients. This man is always eating and even if only 20% is cooked, it’s still a lot of practice). If you can snag a bite or a spoonful here and there it will be an awesome experience, but watch out for your fingers, Beel bites reflexively.
Belphie will cook with the recipes that take the least amount of effort. He compensates by seasoning everything with spice mixes. It's tasty, but it's not very nutritional and his cooking doesn't have a lot of depth in its flavour. (Think frozen pizzas. They're tasty, but they don't really scratch an itch when you want something more substantive).
It will be easy to get a portion though- Belphie will most definitely be napping on the kitchen floor, enabling you to steal a helping of whatever he cooked quite easily.
PART THREE WOOOO.
(NSFW themes and my potty mouth below the cut. Asmodeus x Solomon propaganda because those two have definitely done something fruity)
Asmodeus is ambidextrous
Mammon is the only demon brother who can't do the splits. Not like anyone knows about it, but if you ask him he will deny it. He sucks at twister lmao
Whenever the demon bros go to the beach Belphie needs to be given a life jacket and some rope for Beel to hang on to because he'll fall asleep in the water and float away. One time he drifted off and it took Leviathan an hour to find him.
Lucifer refuses to eat oranges. He has no real reason for it, he just declines
One time Beel broke down crying because Mammon told him if he eats watermelon seeds they will grow in his stomach. To this day Beel glares at Mammon when he eats watermelon.
Do not ask Asmodeus what his favorite color is. He will not shut up because he can't make up his mind. You're going to hear him list shades of colors that you haven't even heard of. It will take him 4 hours to come to the conclusion that every color looks good on him so he doesn't have a favorite.
Do not mention jars around Levi
Do not tell Luke that factories don't actually make clouds, because if he finds out about how factories actually work and pollution he will shut down
Mammon has made entire presentations about how and why Greed and money is the best. Mammon accidentally used a picture of him paying someone to fuse a chicken and a rabbit together in the presentation and he got in trouble.
After MC came to RAD and the demon brothers act up Lucifer will literally just show up and be like "Your MC privileges have been revoked. Come along now, MC. We are going to go drink tea and discuss cursed records." You'll be dragged to his room and will have a choice between sitting on the floor or the couch next to a desk in his room. He will sit on the bed and do paperwork as records play in the background. You can't get up or talk because he'll glare at you or scold you, the best thing to do is take a nap. You have basically been placed in time out
There is a human appreciation club where MC pretty much has a cult of demons. You could tell them that humans eat light and they will all agree. Solomon also encourages them all to invest in bitcoin and crash the stock market to mess with Mammon
Mammon unironically texts things like "We should kiss in the closet after class..Hahah..Jk..Unless???"
If the demon bros stopped using stickers when messaging these would be the emojis Leviathan uses: 🤣🥲😬🦑🔥🥉👉👈🥺😒🤦♂️😳
Lotan likes to eat gold fish crackers,and Levi doesn't know. Beelzebub went to the beach by himself and was snacking when Lotan showed up thinking he was Levi. Beelzebub shared and told Belphie about it, who came to the conclusion that if Lotan was ever summoned Beelzebub would be left unharmed. It's best not to tell anyone
Henry 2.0 flares his gills at Mammon and swims at him whenever he gets too close to the tank
Belphie is a good painter, he had to pass time somehow other than sleeping while he was in the attic. If you ever wake him up just to make him paint he will just paint a penis on the floor or leave a passive aggressive message in red paint. He will paint when nobody is around (Beel is the exception.) Belphie mostly paints starry skies or Lillith. He doesn't show anyone the ones of Lillith (Again Beel can). He also painted a dog under the kitchen table but nobody has noticed it yet
Lucifer made a list of things that Asmodeus is not allowed to use in bed. Unironically Asmodeus used to get things..stuck. Then he'd have to limp across the house, sweaty and pale to explain to Lucifer what the fuck he was thinking on the way to the hospital. It's way worse when it happens to someone else he's with because he'll be giggling and making innuendos while Lucifer tries not to vomit.. It hasn't happened in a while because he knows better and has the proper equipment, but somewhere there is a list. A few things that are on the list: A lava lamp, TV remotes, a shampoo bottle, a ruri chan action figure [Levi can never know], hot wheels [Solomon's idea, he was originally just making whooshing noises and dragging the car on his back but Asmodeus had other ideas], a mason jar? Anytime something gets stuck it gets added to the list, Lucifer forgot about it but Asmodeus knows. Mention anything about something being stuck up someone's ass and Asmodeus is going to think you're being serious and provide a list of ways to get whatever is up there out. For everyone's sanity DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM.
Leviathan screams the loudest out of the brothers, Mammon's screams are the most high pitched. Don't take either of them on a roller-coaster. Beelzebub it's just a flat "aaaaaaa" but it's very low and Belphie just gets bored
Asmodeus secretly wishes he could dress emo/goth but he has a reputation to uphold so he usually makes Solomon or MC dress up for him. He won't make you show anyone if you aren't comfortable but he definitely has a few pictures saved to his phone
Satan collects bandaids and gets excited when people get tiny cuts because he can show off the new patterns. This one has cat prints, or you could get one with little cat faces, or hey! There's another box he has full of snail patterns. He gets so distracted about the bandaids that he totally forgets that someone is bleeding.
Do not refer to any superhero comic/movie/TV show/anime/Manga as capeshit around Leviathan, even if it's accurate
Mammon got his jacket stuck in between a car door as Lucifer was leaving and he got dragged 300 miles (I'm American, wtf is a kilometer?) And Lucifer didn't hear Mammon screaming because he was listening to hard rock, something he only ever does when he is alone. Everyone was super nice to Mammon because they felt bad and Lucifer went a while without raising his voice or anything towards him.
Simeon and Belphie have the same taste in music, which would be cool if Belphie would deny it any time he was asked
One of Solomon's favorite foods are poptarts but he doesn't know where to get them so he and MC have this exchange that looks like a drug deal but really they're trading pastries
When nobody is looking Simeon likes to eat used coffee filters. Not a single person knows, and nobody will know. He likes the way the beans taste but a lot of the flavor is in the filter. He spits it out after, but it's like coffee flavored gum lol
The brothers sarcastically call Lucifer dad behind his back. "Lucifer tied me to the top of the stairs by my left arm. Gee, thanks dad."
If you tell the demon bros that humans are venomous you might be able to last a week before anyone catches on.
Satan is the most ticklish out of his brothers but none of them are stupid enough to actually do it...Okay, maybe one of them is dumb enough to pin him down. We all know who I am talking about, and I hope they fix whatever wrong with his head to be dumb enough to risk his safety for the sake of hearing our favorite maniac laugh.
One time Beel got his arm stuck in a jar and he just sat there for a good ten minutes in silence with this heart broken expression because now he can't eat his olives. The others just walked into the kitchen and saw him pouting and got Lucifer to get it off. The second he got unstuck he put his hand in the jar again. Fuckers intentionally made the jar too small to spite him. (Nobody is out to get you, Beel.)