#tuesday is gonna be my one comfort day bc i get to commit minor arson and put it out AND i'll be home on time

[queer-crusader]

Man I've run right out of spoons. Fucking despise shopping. Never again. Goodbye free time for the next 2 weeks now apart from MAYBE the coming weekend, wish me luck lads

#tuesday is gonna be my one comfort day bc i get to commit minor arson and put it out AND i'll be home on time #the arson is paid by work too!! it's part of the safety training i chose to do which has been a fucking BLAST #but yeah after that the best i get is the weekend bc i get to go home to scotland for 3 days #except it's for a wedding near Perth so a) not in Edinburgh and b) idk what my schedule will be or if i get chill downtime or what #man i do love referring to scotland as home tho 🥺 saying im going home just now was like giving myself a wee hug #like i need to do that regularly. reaffirm. how do i feel about Edinburgh? yup - still home ❤️ #genuinely (okay mini tangent here) the first time i returned after being forced to leave everything behind? i was so frightened #i feared i would resent the country for forcing me out. that i would only ever feel bitter again as i wandered its streets and landscapes #except the second i left haymarket station and saw the familiar streets i broke down sobbing #it was still familiar. it was still home. #i felt so fucking much in that moment #scotland has always been a choice. going there. staying there. wanting to build my future there #i had to consciously make that decision every year. even more so when brexit hit #i had to start figuring out what i wanted to do with passports. with residence status. with my future and identity #brexit and politics made me think and choose over and over again. i had to fight to validate my feelings to myself. i battled panic attacks #so yeah. going home to scotland #im still choosing. im still affirming. im still feeling #anne speaks #i really went off topic lmao but ah well fuck it #anyway no spoons left im gonna collapse a bit and maybe do some archaeology in elder scrolls. dig up wee artifacts. vibe