#i felt so fucking much in that moment

[queer-crusader]

Man I've run right out of spoons. Fucking despise shopping. Never again. Goodbye free time for the next 2 weeks now apart from MAYBE the coming weekend, wish me luck lads

#tuesday is gonna be my one comfort day bc i get to commit minor arson and put it out AND i'll be home on time #the arson is paid by work too!! it's part of the safety training i chose to do which has been a fucking BLAST #but yeah after that the best i get is the weekend bc i get to go home to scotland for 3 days #except it's for a wedding near Perth so a) not in Edinburgh and b) idk what my schedule will be or if i get chill downtime or what #man i do love referring to scotland as home tho 🥺 saying im going home just now was like giving myself a wee hug #like i need to do that regularly. reaffirm. how do i feel about Edinburgh? yup - still home ❤️ #genuinely (okay mini tangent here) the first time i returned after being forced to leave everything behind? i was so frightened #i feared i would resent the country for forcing me out. that i would only ever feel bitter again as i wandered its streets and landscapes #except the second i left haymarket station and saw the familiar streets i broke down sobbing #it was still familiar. it was still home. #i felt so fucking much in that moment #scotland has always been a choice. going there. staying there. wanting to build my future there #i had to consciously make that decision every year. even more so when brexit hit #i had to start figuring out what i wanted to do with passports. with residence status. with my future and identity #brexit and politics made me think and choose over and over again. i had to fight to validate my feelings to myself. i battled panic attacks #so yeah. going home to scotland #im still choosing. im still affirming. im still feeling #anne speaks #i really went off topic lmao but ah well fuck it #anyway no spoons left im gonna collapse a bit and maybe do some archaeology in elder scrolls. dig up wee artifacts. vibe

[wis-art]

Women, so pretty, so shaped, i am so lesbian,,,

#im also incredibly dysphoric tonight #but i was told by my coworker im incredibly feminine by her earlier #and i mean yeah #..... #i am a tall weird internet woman who likes to draw #so funny how i thought i was bi #I'm just really into women... #my ex is a trans guy and he told me he thinks im lesbian and i had a “holy fuck this explains so much moment” #we broke up but we still have a weird queer relationship outside of social heteronormative norms that is hard to explain and only we #can really understand #im not into men because you know #im a lesbian #had a weird period in my life when i was dating a guy and said im a lesbian and i felt sooooo scared #turns out when youre on meds and your brain is working right you just stop caring about such things #i went on a parade wearing big lesbian flag and girls loved it :) #i dont really know if i ever want to date anyone again #but i think if you look at my art you can really tell my sexuality quite easily lolol #funny how love can be so complicated sometimes #i mean it was kind of inevitable we break up cause we're kind of incompatible but tbh #it was better for us #hehe

[eveningdove]

what if a field mouse was a ballerina 🍓💚

#she turned out so cute #also one of my coworkers came out to me as trans today and let me know they’ve started HRT and i’m so fucking stoked for her #they told me they loved my pronouns and aaa i just felt so honored and so much queer joy with them in that moment #it was nice #mouse art #field mouse #eveningdove art

[floorpancakes]

ok but im rly into the idea of till having a new era that brings the light back to his eyes and drives him forward if he gets to escape the arena. idk where he'd go from there but i want to see ivans sacrifice both haunt him and drive him to actually live his damn life after being the captured bird refusing freedom cause of mizi. once he knows she's alive with the resistance he might be able to actually experience other things and widen his world and if that happens and he puts his personal sense of rebellion towards the human cause OR settles into finding some other way to feel fulfilment that isn't a single person that could be deeply fascinating to me i think

#alien stage #ramble #idk #till alien stage #as an xxxholic fan i want to see caged birds fly and all the fear and loss and grit and progress that comes with it #till era would be so fucking fun #especially when characters r built arnd one person or one goal or something you want to see them find new things to suffer or thrive abt (?) #random inconsequential thought imagine till hooking up with hyunas besties and they become a resistance throuple #idk i just want till to experience the wider world as the one that was the most restrained by his heart AND literally #cause even compared to the other anakt kids he suffered so much in those damn buildings and labs #i wanna see him freed and what that means for ivans legacy as the person who was unseen but someone who both contributed to and desperately #tried to stop his pain and confinement no matter what #honestly the thing i wanna see most rn off the top of my head is #till coming to terms with what he knows and sees about ivan now #no matter how he feels about it i think ivan wont be forgotten that easily #i want to know whats going thru tills head rn immediately in this moment #cause this snapped him in some way and he is acutely aware of things he didnt even notice before #while handling the mizi desth thing #that he assumed was happening #if he is assumedly saved i want to see the explosion that is knowung mizi is alive #knowing ivan is dead and how ivan felt #and knowing he has a way out of the cage #because its a triple whammy #i want to see his brain exploding in real time thinking abt all these things #and what sort of person the revelations will make him become #also i want to see mizi and till have like an actual conversation cause itd be a wildcard especially right now

[crescentfool]

having the hc that minato is ace is incredibly funny sometimes when you think about how ryoji is oh so very bi because it's like. "ah. death stole my ability to be attracted to people," in the same way that ryoji stole minato's eye color and energy level. like wow, thanks ryoji, you just keep finding things to steal from minato!

#persona 3 spoilers #minato arisato #hc and au nonsense #lizzy speaks #happy international asexuality day to my fellow aces out there i hope you know that you are loved!!! 🎊🎉🥳 #i like viewing minato with the lens of him being gay / ace. esp bc it stems from my own experiences so it's fun to look at- #him from that perspective even if that's not what was intended by atlus y'know? #and im sure others have other hcs from me that are informed by their own life experiences and i think that's great ^_^ #something that i found interesting while playing FES was how. stilted? minato's animations felt when hugging the girls #you could definitely go with the perspective that it's a graphical limitation or they didn't have time to polish the animations #and that's def true!! but sometimes i see the hug @ yakushima beach + the other hugs and then i compare it to the sou/yo hug in p4 #and there's like... a noticeable difference to me with how intimate and close together the hugs are... #that said i do know that the animations for reload are updated and the hugs are much more natural (good on them tbh!) #the other thing is (pensive sigh). the way you couldn't reject any of the girls when doing their social links in FES #objectively speaking i'm glad that they did away with that and i like how the rejections were handled in reload. it feels naturally written #but also a part of me enjoyed looking at the “hey atlus what the FUCK” moment and thought of how to interpret it differently #specifically with the idea of minato having like.. little to no autonomy and kind of going along with the relationship #it kind of reminded me of myself tbh with like going along with the rship without considering what you want bc #it's what others want or expect out of you... LOL. i dont think atlus intended for someone to interpret it this way but #eh i think that's the fun part of hcs and looking at characters with certain lenses! #regardless of how you perceive minato i do think there's something to be said about him being the kind of guy who molds himself- #into someone that is needed. not wanted. but needed. important distinction here. #the one caveat my brain runs into when im like “minato is ace!” is when i remember thanatos exists and i go #“you know what these ideas can exist simultaneously” GKLHFHDFHD when in doubt schrodinger's headcanons #anyway that's all i've had this thought in my brain in awhile and haven't sat down to share it properly until now 👍 #have an excellent weekend everyone !!! lizzy loves you all lets all nurture our inner yippee!!! 🥺💙

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES [THE FROST — MITSKI]

this movie's had my brain in a vice grip all week

#super dark times #sdt #josh templeton #zach taylor #daryl and charlie are also there but this aint about them #well it is about daryl. it’s *all* about daryl at the end of the day. but ykwim #im simply a sucker for stories about best friends where everything gets sosososo fucked up 🤷‍♂️ #sam draws shit #sam edits #<- yeah it gets both tags i opened after effects for this #this movie fell into tht sweet spot for me where it was the right combo of compelling characters who felt Real with great visuals but also #with enough moments i was like ‘what. why?’ about that it keeps me thinking trying to decide how i feel about/interpret elements of it #like. i enjoyed it but it's flawed in the exact ways a piece of media needs to be for it to rotate around in my brain for a while #also i truly did NOT have the time to draw this i have so much other shit to get done but i couldn’t focus until #i got this idea out of my head so. here we are

[feelingtheaster99]

I cannot imagine being one of those fish dudes and after seeing my king, who i following the orders of, get eaten by a fucking MASSIVE dogfish, and be like, ‘yeah I’m still gonna follow his orders and try to kidnap the princess, that makes sense to me for me to do at my own personal detriment’

#poor Murph #poor Gerard #he was trying so hard to convince him to stop to #but they kept trying to princess-nap #and kept attacking him #neverafter #neverafter dimension 20 #dimension 20 neverafter #neverafter spoilers #terror on toy island #d20 #d20 neverafter #neverafter d20 #edited #even through the admittedly wonderful axmurph moments #I just felt so bad #because of course it made sense to fucking stop fighting the fish #but then they kept attacking #and much kept apologizing #even though what he did was super tactical

[yardsards]

just read this part of the adventurer's bible and

do you think toshiro was originally attracted to falin (whilst still being irritated by many of her same traits in laios) because he thought his father would find her interesting???

#undescribed #eliot posts #dunme #dungeon meshi #dm spoilers #idk how i feel about him #my first impression was positive bc he had a cool character design (and i found him quite handsome personally lol) #but also he was mean to laios :( #but also laios was asking him intrusive questions and messing up his name #but also he should have just spoken up instead of expecting others to just read his mind #but also dude was a nobleman in what looks like feudal era japan #which to my (albeit limited) historical knowledge had even more intense politeness rules than like. the victorian era #so if the dunmeshi world is like the irl era then it could be a cultural thing that he felt he couldn't vocalize that stuff directly #and also he was in love with falin and seemed to like her weirdgirl tendencies. which i appreciate and respect. like. me too dude. #but also how much was genuine feelings and how much was seeing her as a novelty? #BUT ALSO did his family own fucking SLAVES??? and was he cool with that??? #or did i miss something/am i misunderstanding something? #like is the guy having a sixpenceee moment here #or am i just misunderstanding context/history here?

[andthebeanstalk]

Betty is so relatable I would do the same shit for my wife

#simon petrikov #original #at #the moment where she declares that she's jumping into the future to save him. just pure save-husband impulse #and maybe she made the wrong choice but I felt the emotion in my gut and that's good tragedy baby #I would do the same thing and then be in the future and realize I probably fucked up but also what else could I do but #devote my entire life and sanity to saving her after I have destroyed every other option?? #it's not healthy necessarily but a fucking apocalypse happened and her wife is in eternal torment. what else could she possibly do?? #I'm just obsessed with the attitude she has towards saving him and how it turns from joyful heroism to unhealthy obsession #I have a much healthier relationship with my wife. but also she's never been driven mad by a magical crowd for a thousand years! #and Betty did it!! y'all can argue about whether Ice King was better than Simon and I think he must make peace with every part of himself #but it is extremely consistent in the original series that being Ice King is basically this existentially horrifying Eternal torture #so the fact that someone who loved him decided they would save him from that at all costs is very sad and very beautiful #beautiful because no one deserves to suffer forever. tragic because she was far to willing to take his place if she had to. #betty grof #fionna and cake #golbetty #golb #*driven mad by a magical crown #you forgot your floaties #edit: upon rewatching every episode with betty in it i will say i don't think i would be so hellbent on murdering the person she had become #betty does act selfishly and it makes her character more compelling #but i like to think if my wife went banana-pants ice-king-level bonkers i would be able to love that version of her too #but who's to say whether this story would be the reason I responded differently? #it's a good story

[lethal-effect]

Never thought I’d be feeling this defensive over Buddy Dawn but here we are

#For the most part people seem sad that he died even if they don’t like him #but I honestly don’t understand why people dislike him so much when he’s literally so similar to a younger version of Kristen #I’ve seen some say he’s had ‘evil’ or bigoted moments but I honestly don’t even know what they’re talking about #I’ve only ever read buddy as a misguided but well intentioned and extremely sheltered kid who’s also probably an unwitting pawn #I’ve only ever felt pity and fondness and hope for buddy that he’ll see the more harmful parts of helioic practice and denounce them #I don’t even care if he stays a cleric of helio as long as he doesn’t agree with their more directly harmful beliefs and practices #and I really hope he still gets the chance to combat all of that whether it’s as a cleric of helio or any other god or no god at all #he was just a kid and he still had so much to learn and experience and now he might never get the chance #all because he was a little too sheltered and a little too naive #I’m not ok you guys #like fuck all the other rat grinders he’s the only one who I want to have a redemption arc #and now he’s fucking dead #😢 #buddy dawn #fantasy high

[mispronouncing-michaelangelo]

"It was always stuck on the happy color," he gave a dry chuckle. "Even at the hospital. That's how we knew it was all bullshit." 

okay but like,, what is he WAS happy,, what then huh xue yang,, what if he was able to find peace and happiness knowing that his family was there with him,,, what about that??

based on the fic the thread that binds us by @wifiwuxians

#song lan #xiao xingchen #a qing #xue yang #okay this took so fucking long #and tumblr has decided to eat the quality #but thats none of my business #im stopping this before i overwork it and over think it and look at it too long #but yeah idk i just like to think that maybe xxc was at least sometimes happy #when they were there with him and they were just sitting around as if they were still at home #and he felt so so loved and cared for and all that stuff #even though he knew he was dying they were still with him and for a few moments at least he was still able to be happy #idk i just want him to die peacefully for fucking once haha #anyway great fic 10/10 loved it so so much #it was legit so good #anyways some details that i wanna shoutout; xy is an itachi kinnie; a-qings crop top was originally xxc's; two headed calf plushie #gift from sl #dis meh #my art (??)

[pidgefudge]

really feeling the lack of people like me irl. most of my friends are cis girls or fem enbies who just. don't get it. the few trans guys i DO know have very supportive families (one of them has been on t for years). like. what am i supposed to do with this. what am i supposed to do with my incredibly queerphobic parents and inability to cut my hair even though it kills me to look in the mirror and forced dress-wearing that makes me feel like shit all day.

#today we went to a shopping complex area after our competition and i was following around one of the two friends i have in choir #i was already feeling very dysphoric and sick at this point #so of course she and her group (all extremely fem cis girls) decide to go to sephora #and bath and body works #and francescas #and i cant just go off on my own so i stand awkwardly in the corner scrolling through the transmasc dysphoria tag #and said friend comes up to me joking about how much i must hate these stores and tries to find blush that suits me or whatever the fuck #things like this are what make me say “i hate femininity” and then i have to do a mental course correction #“i hate people assuming im feminine” “i hate feminity for myself” “i hate being expected to be feminine” #“i hate being surrounded by feminine girls as a masc trans guy” except that one was kinda my fault #slight upside is that i saw them cooing over dresses or earrings or smth idk and felt so extremely removed from whatever they had going on #a real Trans Man Moment #well. anyway #pigeon coos

[solongllondon]

the idea of forgetting to turn off your location is SO heartbreaking btw like I don’t think u get it it’s truly like. I thought you were my everything so in return I shared my everything with you and now I care about you so little I forgot to even turn it off.

#taylor swift #ttpd #the black dog #it’s like. SO heartbreaking #how much u can mean to someone one moment and how little the next #this isn’t even specifically abt Joe or taylor but just. the imagery of it all is SO fucked up and heartbreaking #and when I first heard the song I truly felt like she just ripped out my heart in one sentence

[dazais-guardian-angel]

also I honestly hate Dazai's sudden bullshit theory about Hawthorne's blood bullets to explain how Fyodor killed the soldier at the end of the cannibalism arc, and the fact that this somehow never even occurred to him until now. Normally I do love seeing Dazai be wrong and be shocked/taken off guard for once, it's way too rare and needs to happen a lot more for how goddamn OP he is the rest of the time, but in this case instead of making him feel human from making a natural mistake (forgetting about Q, pinning the wrong person as Fyodor during the helicopter search in cannibalism), it just makes him look incredibly dumb to somehow not have foreseen this before now. Up till this point he's been 5D chess masterminding the shit out of everything, but somehow it didn't even occur to him that Fyodor might not actually be dead for real....... and all it took to make him think that was Sigma viewing his memories? Back when the cannibalism incident happened, the panels seem to indicate that he might know more about Fyodor's ability than he's letting on, but now it's confirmed that he never really knew anything at all, so that part was meaningless I guess...

The Hawthorne theory is so ludicrously out there, but it's in-line with all the other insanely out there things Dazai has been right about before, so it's probably correct lmao; it's just, WHY did he not come up with it until now??? The answer is of course that he didn't realize it until the Plot needed him to, and it's so frustratingly evident. 🫠 As convoluted as this twist is, I honestly wouldn't mind it if it had come from Fyodor himself after he inevitably comes back to taunt Dazai and co — I actually think it doesn't contradict everything else we've seen, because imo there's a difference between the soldier grabbing Fyodor's arm (clear contact), and when Fyodor lightly held his finger over Karma's forehead and most likely used his real ability there, just like he said he did. I think it's neat to think that we were all misdirected by the "Fyodor's ability works through direct contact" thing just because Dazai is the one who first said it, since we're so used to Dazai being right. But I wish Dazai hadn't figured out the truth all on his own so suddenly, doing a complete 180 from like two chapters ago, cause it just makes him look stupid. It doesn't feel like a natural mistake, it just feels like the plot forcing him to be dumb until it needs him to be smart again, which is really noticeable for a character otherwise so insanely smart as Dazai.

#bsd 114 #it's like Asagiri needed to come up with an alternate explanation for the cannibalism scene and that was the best he could come up w now lo #and Dazai didn't think of it until now 1) because it needed to happen only now but 2) because Asagiri hadn't thought of it back then lol #i WANT more Dazai making mistakes and being wrong moments but it has to feel natural!!!!! #and not just when the plot calls for it #all the other few times Dazai has fucked up it made sense and felt like realistic mistakes he'd make even with how smart he is #but this just feels like the writing intentionally making him not realize something he otherwise would have a long time ago because plot lo #it would have been so much better if Fyodor had just blindsided him/them with all this #but asagiri always has to make Dazai give the big reveal speeches of how something happened no matter how stupid and outlandish it is *sigh

[w1tchybusiness]

i could write a 100 page essay about what a fucking masterpiece warframe is. i will write many words in the tags. please readem if you want my 'tism.

#ive been playing on and off since 2019 but its only recently when i dumped destiny 2 (probably for good) and picked it up #to fill the grind-shaped hole in my heart #that i have uncovered just how FUCKING INCREDIBLE warframe is #everything about it makes me incredibly autistic #from its masterful utilization of an incredibly styled and individual soundtrack full of absolute bangers #to its seemingly unique understanding of how and why an MMO is special to and because of its players #and its truly special story- a uniquely human take on the “post-ruin scifi” tale #it knows exactly how and when to yank on your heart to make you weep like a baby #and it knows exactly when you're going to get angry and want vengeance #and it knows when to let you let loose and unleash hell #SPOILERS FOR THE NEW WAR AHEAD #IF YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY THE GAME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO #SPOILER WARNING #i think the narmer corruption of fortuna was genuinely one of the most gutpunchingly horrible moments ive ever experienced in a video game #i started playing when fortuna was already in the game but the story of fortuna and vox solaris was really what made warframe stand out 2 m #i would drop into the orb vallis as gauss and dash around doing bounties and fishing and mining because i really loved everything about #fortuna and wanted to spend as much time there as possible #for me vox solaris was my proudest achievement (in warframe.) to say “i helped that! i did that!” was an incredibly good feeling #the story really spoke to me on a deeper level #and vox solaris has always been my favorite faction as a result #so to do absolutely everything that i could #to lift together with my tenno brothers and sisters and yet STILL fail? #and to have it rubbed in my face by the corruption of the greatest shining pillar of hope in the warframe universe? #felt like i got kicked in the stomach #i felt sad and angry. but most of all i was DRIVEN. #which is GOOD. because RARELY does a video game present you the “you lost” scenario and have it feel not only satisfyingly painful #but MOTIVATING. #my only complaint with the new war is that i didnt get to hack ballas to pieces by myself #i had real flashbacks to running around helping people as gauss while approaching the final boss with erra #and to step onto the ballas arena as gauss prime. i nearly came from the narrative significance

[spacedace]

Okay, finished Death and the Maidens and uh, yeah. Everything I saw that said it was fucking terrible was right. Absolutely hated it. -10000/10.

There was exactly 3 things about all of that I liked:

The concept of Nyssa as Talia's older half sister that's been running around doing humanitarian efforts for centuries (and literally nothing else about her backstory because holy fucking shit what).

The single moment of Talia being happy and enjoying herself and briefly vulnerable and open about how she doesn't have many friends (could have truly been some great character moment stuff in something else)

Alfred's sass.

That's it. That was everything I enjoyed about that story line. What the absolute fuck did I just read?

Anyway, uh. I'm gonna take the 3 things I liked about the story, try to scrub the memory of literally everything else, and work out what I would have liked to see happen with Nyssa & Talia instead and figure out how to incorporate that into a fic.

#batman #death and the maidens #i hated this story line so much yall #seriously what the hell did I read #who wrote this? #WHY did they decide to go with *that* backstory for Nyssa? #Like the humanitarian stuff that was briefly & quickly mentioned at the very end was interesting #but literally everything that they actually *showed* in the comic was fucking horrifying and made no sense #like to be clear I'm not saying that authors can't delve into some darker places for a character's backstory #but like #this didn't feel like a heartfelt examination of the darkest moments in human history and have a genuine attempt to examine what that might #do to an pseudo immortal character that survived something so incredibly horrible and life ruining #it felt entirely like it was for shock factor and to be edgy #like fuck man #also what the *fuck* did they do to Talia??? Who was this random character they had with her name & face #cause I know that wasn't Talia al Ghul I saw in this