rosalesbeausderholle

[rosalesbeausderholle]

[rosalesbeausderholle]

In general I get the most mad when my fellow leftists deny the existence of misogyny and rampant violence against women. People on the left on will see any random women taking safety precautions for their own well-being and peace of mind and go “well look at that privileged evil poser bitch who is paranoid because she listens to too many true crime podcasts.” As a leftist, I too mourn the fact that there’s very little sense of community among people left, but this idea that it’s just women’s fault and that women taking safety precautions have single handedly killed class solidarity or something is such a transparently evil, malicious lie spread by the worst, most predatory guy in your local DIY scene. There was a post around here a while back proclaiming that “stranger danger is Reagan era propaganda” (on the news, the other night, I saw Ring doorbell footage of a 20 year old girl banging on a neighbor’s door and screaming for help until her assailant, who was also her kidnapper, picked her up and carted her away as she sobbed and screamed) I saw a young woman be dogpiled as a “liberal poser” on leftist Twitter and TikTok by other people who shared many of her political values because she talked about feeling unsafe when she was alone on a street with a man who was acting very erratic, screaming obscenities and sexually charged insults at her (of course she was smeared as some evil, privileged villain. “you evil bitch! he was clearly having a mental health crisis! why didn’t you try to HELP HIM?!” etc) I see so much rhetoric just focused on shaming women for taking any precaution whatsoever to avoid the risk of being sexually assaulted or otherwise victimized in any way. Women will do something as simple as carry pepper spray, or a rape whistle, and be accused of being the exact same as conservatives obsessed with Qanon conspiracy theories about sex trafficking. There is something so insidious about leftist men specifically telling women within their local subcultures that taking any measure to protect themselves against gendered or sexual violence is some heinous, capitalist crime against humanity. Ted Bundy was caught here in my hometown. There’s men walking around the streets of New York punching random women in broad daylight. A young woman was hit in the face with a brick in Chicago simply for turning down an offer to go on a date. That guy in your local leftist scene? Talk to any of his ex girlfriends. They’ll have stories. Keep protecting yourselves, women of the world. Especially trans women and WOC.

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one aspect of this which i think about a lot is the literalization of many online millennials. this is something we all have noticed i'm sure. it's like the opposite of irony-poisoning... literal-poisoning. it makes one very unfunny, obviously, but this is another aspect

it isn't just the therapy-speak thing, it's the idea that it is 'dangerous' or potentially problematic to leave anything unsaid or implicit. one other example that comes to mind is those 'guides' on consensual sex that were big in like, 2011-2015, which advised you to stop and ask your partner verbally before doing literally anything during sex.

obviously i'm not anti-talking during sex... some things should be discussed before they happen, sometimes feedback is necessary, sometimes requests are made... but if you've had sex you know that it would be unpleasant, strange and unsexy to halt and ask permission for every touch. and it would be unnecessary, because there's so much nonverbal communication going on, and if you have the empathy of even a brick, it's usually easy to read

this gives me the same vibe. it isn't the job of people getting married to word their vows with exit clauses just in case. it is the job of the state to provide cheap, easy, no-fault divorce. people generally get married because they're madly in love with someone and think they will spend the rest of their lives with them. of course, normal sane people are able to hold in their head simultaneously the idea that shit happens and this marriage might end in divorce and not death, as around a third of US marriages do.

but it's not romantic to say that. no one who's genuinely in love wants to fucking say that at their WEDDING. we all know that! people get divorced! some things can be left unsaid! not every moment of our lives has to be this ridiculous slog of explicitization

and suggesting we all explicitize everything kind of implies a lack of theory of mind for others. This is something i notice often from people who are intellectual in some ways but low on common sense and/or social skills, and have gotten caught up in this literalized culture of constant yapping and oversharing - they start to think other people are bumbling buffoon NPCs. They think anyone who doesn't post to social media in the style of a very explicit, therapized internal monologue doesn't actually have one. They think people who keep their mouths tactically shut about certain things didn't notice that thing at all. They think tact and propriety and earnestness are evidence of gormless stupidity. They think wedding vows are supposed to sound like your therapist is selling you car insurance.

[rosalesbeausderholle]

why should i care about taylor swift when the killer remains at large

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there needs to be a jesus on the cross emoji that i can use any time i have to go to work in an hour

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People are saying insane things like: "what if Taylor cuts cardigan, long live or atw10 min to fit TTPD in the setlist?" WELL if that happens, I will firebomb the Lisbon stadium, so better not.

#she should take out bad blood and shake it off but she's not brave enough #taylor swift #she will not take all too well out but she could do the others bc she did for the movie... #if she takes those two i will scream #or anything from the folklore/evermore set #like taylor bestie i know you just put out a song about performing while being miserable etc etc sorry about thay #but add 3 more songs without taking anything out overwork yourself!!! thank you #you LOVE capitalism!!! do it for the capitalism!!

[rosalesbeausderholle]

for me, it keeps coming back the now deleted scene in anti-hero where taylor first openly used art about something that directly impacted her mental health. and i get why it would be triggering and uncomfortable to see a thin woman portray herself as "fat" on a scale. i understand the "problematic" edge to it. and yet... i still hate y'all for thinkpiecing her into deleting the scene. it was art about something that directly impacted HER mental health and folks felt entitled to tell her how she could make art about something that impacts HER. that HER MENTAL HEALTH was distressing them, could she pretty please censor it so it would stop triggering them.

like fuck y'all. i hope she never feels the need to censor herself again to cater to you fuck ass bitches. some of you DO need to be told you're being overbearing and entitled, sorry! you don't get to censor art just because you don't like who's making it or feel the person who made it isn't allowed to use art the way they used it.

#like she's very openly had an ED guys... #she was talking about her ED she was not insulting fat people 😭 #but when it comes to her literally all your literacy flies out of the window #taylor swift

[rosalesbeausderholle]

I was going to say "Loser Website" but then I remembered that there are apparently children on here and also that I could very easily become an alcoholic if I was worse off as I do have had many times where I drank to numb the pain so this is probably a good thing!

#and then you guys ask me why miss 'i was a functioning alcoholic till nobody noticed my new aesthetic' swift is my bestie! #we're on the same wavelength I'm just not talented or a billionaire but other than that! #tags are a joke #alcohol tw

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okay gun to head what is THEE taylor swift song. not your personal favorite but like THE song that people who aren't swifties know the words to and turn up to when it plays in public. the song that comes to mind when you hear the words "taylor swift song".

#the gall of that person on the tags #like you reblogged the post you could have ignored it! #also it's love story #taylor swift

[rosalesbeausderholle]

On mental health and relationships. Also, personal talk.

I've seen conversations about it cross my dash randomly and tbh, I think people think too highly of themselves. It's so easy to say "oh I would never had a problem with it if my partner had issues with depression" but do you even know what depression is? It hollows you out, it turns you into a despairing, bitter person that spreads their rot to everything and everyone around you. It's hell.

I've been on both sides, I've been both the depressed partner and the partner to someone with depression and other mental health issues, and it's ugly, and sometimes you can give and have all the love in the world and nothing helps. And you try and you try and you try but all it does is break the people you were, create wedges between you, anxieties and horrible ugly arguments that you're still thinking about years later. Happy moments become shadowed by all the sad ones and you end up feeling trapped, or like you're trapping the other person, but then you don't want them to leave, because they're your only lifeline, but that's the most selfish thought someone can have. Sometimes: "I'd kill myself if you leave me" is not just manipulation, it's the literal truth and there is no good way out of that one. Sometimes seeing that version of your partner can make you fall out of love, because you feel like you deserve a better and happier life, and you feel horrible for it but you still feel like you do need that.

And it doesn't mean that you can't get out of that pattern, mental health can improve, healthy coping mechanisms can help, sometimes going through something so daunting does bring you closer together and it does make you love each other more, despite the pain and the stormy days. Sometimes you learn to build that happier life together, and learn what makes the other person feel better, even if just a little bit, but that takes a lot of work and a lot of luck and most times you will only be a support they can lean on at best, never a real cure.

So no, I don't blame anyone for seeing that and leaving after they tried everything they could, maybe without even trying. People who don't struggle with depression, especially chronic depression, have no moral obligation to become the lifeline of those who do. Obviously support is always important, but if it ends up hurting you and draining you, you don't have to stay.

Me and my girlfriend, both with chronic mental health issues, never reached the lows that I described above, but we would never have made it through some of our most depressed periods while already together if our mental health issues didn't happen to be so similar that we have a very deep understanding of the other (and sometimes that's worse, because it reminds you of your problem that's making you want to kill yourself and you can't avoid it because you can't avoid your girlfriend and you're the least prepared person in the world to help her through that!), like anyone with sound mental health would have just fled at being with either of us, and I wouldn't blame her. It's not a walk in the park.

It worked for us, and we are in a much better place now with our respective problems and know how to help the other better now, but that's after years of constant learning, of frustration because nothing worked, of having would-be happy days ruined because one of you is having an episode again, of ugly fights because the despairing part of you needs the other person to be everything and she's just human so she just can't.

There is an other side, but it's hard to get there, and it's not even a question of love or will, sometimes you can't and it's fine to distance yourself.

#mental health #liveblogging my life #oh i can already feel people misinterpreting this #you just don't get it if you haven't been there

[rosalesbeausderholle]

can someone let boymoms know that these are normal baby things that pretty much all babies do regardless of sex

#feminism #yep on point

[rosalesbeausderholle]

Flew too close to the sun... ordered shoes from an online store because I couldn't be bothered to get my ass up and they don't fit

#liveblogging my life

[rosalesbeausderholle]

Something something, I loved my old job and they came into my inbox offering it to me. I HATE my current job and it was one I applied for, they rejected me, and then ended up picking me as well because they needed more people. There can be a pattern here 🤗

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I got another job offer... This one seems to be good... Average salaries according to Glassdoor are 70k... Holy shit

#what is going ON today? Recruiters are just coming into my inbox!!! corporate bad bitch mode on

[rosalesbeausderholle]

religious extremism is bad no matter what religion it comes from, and yes that includes my own religion and yours as well. i think it's also important to note that most of the time the worst victims of it are women.

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Lmao just got a job offer from Amazon Prime. Begone demon

#liveblogging my life #even if i was desperate the job offer has almost no details #so no thanks

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as someone who's been through lesbian situationship this is so true

#my pandemic situationship left me holed up in my room for a month bingeing podcasts and playing the switch without getting out even though l #at that point we weren't under lockdown anymore #FOR A WHOLE MONTH #because I was unable to think else I'd cry #literally the worst thing that ever happened to me #taylor would not be able to handle it i fear