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There is a woman. She lives in a world, this world, in which power is real. Men have it, generally speaking; she does not because she is a woman. She is devalued not only in people’s thoughts but in the way she is treated: by individuals because she is not their equal; by institutions of the society—law, religion, art, educa­tion. She is poorer than men in money and in rights; she is poorer in the freedoms she can actually exercise, including freedom of movement and freedom of speech. She must dress in ways that distinguish her on sight from those who have power. Her behavior must be categorically different from the behavior of those in power. She is segregated in the job market and often in social life, but sexual intimacy is forced on her— individuals rarely escape forced sex in a lifetime…

The ways in which she is devalued are concrete, material, real: sexual, economic, physical, social…

Dirty words stay dirty because they express a contempt for women, or for women and sex, often synonyms, that is real, embedded in hostile practices that devalue and hurt women;..

Dirty words stay dirty because they express a hate for women as inferiors, that hate inextricably, it seems, part of sex— a hate for women’s genitals, a hate for women’s bodies, a hate for the insides of women touched in fucking. Dirty words stay dirty because they ex­ press a true dimension of women’s inferiority, a forced inferi­ority, the dirty words part of the ongoing force;..

Current dogma is to teach by rote that sex is “healthy” as if it existed outside social relations, as if it had no ties to anything mean or lowdown, to history, to power, to the dispossession of women from freedom. But for sex not to mean dirt—for sex not to be dirty—the status of women would have to change radically; there would have to be equality without equivocation or quali­fication, social equality for all women, not personal exemptions from insult for some women in some circumstances.

- Andrea Dworkin, “Intercourse”

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The filth of women is a central conceit in culture: taken to be a fact; noted, remarked on, explicated, analyzed, poetized, pornographized, satirized: genital filth, menstrual filth, excremental filth, filth down there, between the legs, in the hole, the wound oozing blood and slime, dirt and smell; the dirt inher­ent in the genitals or her bad character—wash, slut, wash. She is dirt and what she touches is dirt because she contami­nates, makes unclean; her dirt is contagious, defiling whatever she touches…

One endearing aspect of male supremacy is that while men are persistently traumatized by the filth of women, the wounded and dirty genitals, the dirty menstrual blood that “must be counted as excrement,” women are supposed to have a good attitude:

- Andrea Dworkin, “Intercourse”

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What it does make possible is a woman’s continued existence within a system in which men control the valu­ation of her existence as an individual. This valuation is based on her sexual conformity within a sexual system based on his right to possess her. Women are brought up to conform: all the rules of femininity—dress, behavior, attitude—essentially break the spirit. Women are trained to need men, not sexually but metaphysically. Women are brought up to be the void that needs filling, the ab­sence that needs presence. Women are brought up to fear men and to know that they must please men and to understand that they cannot survive without the help of men richer and stronger than they can be themselves, on their own. Women are brought up to submit to intercourse—and here the strategy is shrewd—by being kept ignorant of it. The rules are taught, but the act is hidden. Girls are taught “love,” not “fuck.” Little girls look between their legs to see if “the hole” is there, get scared thinking about what “the hole” is for; no one tells them either…

Despite the propaganda, the mountains of it, intercourse re­quires force; force is still essential to make women have inter­course—at least in a systematic, sustained way. Despite every single platitude about love, women and men, passion, femininity, intercourse as health or pleasure or biological necessity, it is forced sex that keeps intercourse central and it is forced sex that keeps women in sexual relation to men. If the force were not essential, the force would not be endemic. If the force were not essential, the law would not sanction it. If the force were not essential, the force itself would not be defined as intrinsically “sexy,” as if in practic­ing force sex itself is perpetuated…

The third kind of force is economic: keeping women poor to keep women sexually accessible and sexually compliant…

Because women are exploited as a sex class for sex, it is impossi­ble to talk about women’s sexuality outside the context of forced sex or, at the least, without reference to forced sex; and yet, to keep forced sex going and invisible simultaneously, it is discussed every other way, all the time.

The force itself is intrinsically “sexy,” romanticized, described as a measure of the desire of an individual man for an individual woman.

- Andrea Dworkin, “Right Wing Women”

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Polish rapper Słoń said “do you know what people dance in Poznań since yesterday?” and played polonaise.

it’s a reference to the headline “women are blocking the streets, tram driver claps and gays are dancing polonaise”

(polonaise is a traditional polish dance)

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быть красивой не так уж важно.

да. быть красивой не так уж важно. я прекрасно понимаю, почему женщины так много сил и времени вкладывают в свою внешность. в обществе считается, что красота женщины очень важна и представляет огромную ценность. я долгие годы боролась с этой мыслью. я спрашивала себя — почему ты хочешь постоянно чувствовать себя красивой? для кого это на самом деле? почему я так переживаю, что меня могут не посчитать красивой?
думаю, нас с детства убеждают, что наша ценность вращается вокруг нашей эстетической стороны. вокруг нас красавицы — всегда, вечно. в юности мы слышим комплименты нашей милой внешности. нам говорят, как мы красивы, говорят, что мы могли бы быть моделями, и какие у нас милые бантики. в кино, которые мы смотрим, да и вообще в телевизоре все женщины великолепны и роскошны. инстаграм и снэпчат полнятся селфи, селфи и еще раз селфи, лучшими фото наших друзей (никаких фильтров, вы что). я это замечаю уже давно, и это меня очень печалит.

как только я начала беспристрастно оценивать общественные стандарты, предъявляемые к женщинам, мне сказали, что я больше не “наряжаюсь”, как раньше.
что я ответила? “я предпочитаю удобство”.
время от времени я прилагаю усилия, чтобы выглядеть “презентабельно” (что бы это ни значило), но со временем я поняла, что мне больше не важно считаться “красивой”, “привлекательной” или “сексуальной”. неважно, и все тут. наконец я могу свободно быть собой. и я чувствую себя прекраснее, чем когда-либо.

ну и что, что кто-то посчитает меня непривлекательной? что с того? если это тебя ранит, спроси себя — почему для меня так много значит одобрение со стороны?

я тоже задала себе этот вопрос. оказалось, что большая часть моей самооценки была завязана на том, как меня воспринимают другие. если меня отвергали или не считали меня красивой, мне было очень больно — ведь под удар попадала вся моя самоценность. да, вот столько для меня значило чужое одобрение. и я благодарна, что смогла изменить эту установку — я поняла, насколько это нелепо. я сейчас говорю абсолютно искренне в надежде, что эта мысль откликнется и в вашей душе.

талантливые, умные, любящие, уверенные, остроумные, добрые — вот какими словами нужно описывать нас. да, конечно, нам нравится быть красивыми и получать комплименты — а кому не нравится? но я хочу сказать, что красота не обязана быть нашим лучшим качеством. мы ведь гораздо больше, чем просто красивые, сестры. мы больше, чем наша внешность. знаю, сказать проще, чем поверить, но выслушайте. внешняя красота уходит, но настоящая красота — та, что внутри. крась волосы, делай макияж, наряжайся — но в конце концов помни, что главное — какой ты человек. будь щедрой, будь доброй к себе и окружающим. помни — внешность может привлечь, но по-настоящему важна только красота души.

самооценка не должна основываться на суждении окружающих.
самооценке не поможешь количеством лайков и комментариев.

самооценка — это взгляд в зеркало и уверенность в том, что ты такая, как тебе хочется.
самооценка — это поставленная и достигнутая цель.
самооценка — это признание недостатков и понимание, что ты все равно чудесна. да, и ты.

самооценка лежит в достижении личного успеха.
самооценка лежит в росте над собой.

ultralight7
ultralight7
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If you’re ever wondering why there seems to be so few radfems on tumblr and twitter compared to other sites, its because we get banned left and right. On twitter you can get banned just for saying “transwomen are male” or less, and it doesn’t take that much more to get banned here.

We migrate to other sites and make our own spaces. We make new accounts and refuse to be silenced. The social media overlords aren’t going to look very good in the end when people finally realize that we were right all along. There’s going to be a screenshot trail of that time they spent years silencing and banning women from their sites for organizing and speaking up for women’s rights.

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I had an issue with a neighbor a few years ago. He’s quite a bit older (around 20 years older than me), and became really predatory. He would try to look into my windows and stare at me, he was just always watching me. He started propositioning me for sex—asking if I’d like to come over for a “quick fuck” or “a fun time.” The first time he asked, he then stared at me and freaked before asking me if I was legal because he couldn’t tell. He also creeped on the 16 year old daughter living next to me. I eventually moved, largely because I didn’t feel safe, but I still live nearby so I see him walking his dog a lot.

I saw him tonight while waking my dog and I think I’m just too gay, too tired, and too angry to put up with that old “be nice to predatory/creepy men” shtick because I made a very blatant point to glare at him and walk away. I had a bag of dog shit in my hand and I was so mentally ready to throw it at him like some sort of monkey if he even thought about following me. Honestly, at this point, I think I’d shit in my own hand and fling it at any man who even considered being aggressive and predatory.

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What intercourse is for women and what it does to women’s identity, privacy, self- respect, self-determination, and integrity are forbidden ques­tions; and yet how can a radical or any woman who wants freedom not ask precisely these questions? The quality of the sensation or the need for a man or the desire for love: these are not answers to questions of freedom; they are diversions into complicity and ignorance…

Intercourse is frequently performed compulsively; and inter­ course frequently requires as a precondition for male perfor­mance the objectification of the female partner. She has to look a certain way, be a certain type— even conform to preordained behaviors and scripts—for the man to want to have intercourse and also for the man to be able to have intercourse. The woman cannot exist before or during the act as a fully realized, existentially alive individual…

Life can be better for women—economic and political con­ditions improved—and at the same time the status of women can remain resistant, indeed impervious, to change: so far in history this is precisely the paradigm for social change as it re­ lates to the condition of women. Reforms are made, important ones; but the status of women relative to men does not change. Women are still less significant, have less privacy, less integrity, less self-determination. This means that women have less freedom. Freedom is not an abstraction, nor is a little of it enough. A little more of it is not enough either. Having less, being less, impoverished in freedom and rights, women then inevitably have less self-respect: less self-respect than men have and less self-respect than any human being needs to live a brave and honest life…

We are not, of course, supposed to be lobbies or elevators. Instead, we are supposed to be wombs, maternal ones; and the men are trying to get back in away from all the noise and grief of being adult men with power and responsibility.

- Andrea Dworkin, “Intercourse”

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In other words, men possess women when men fuck women because both experience the man being male. This is the stun­ning logic of male supremacy. In this view, which is the pre­ dominant one, maleness is aggressive and violent; and so fucking, in which both the man and the woman experience maleness, essentially demands the disappearance of the woman as an individual; thus, in being fucked, she is possessed: ceases to exist as a discrete individual: is taken over.

Remarkably, it is not the man who is considered possessed in intercourse, even though he (his penis) is buried inside an­ other human being; and his penis is surrounded by strong muscles that contract like a fist shutting tight and release with a force that pushes hard on the tender thing, always so vulnera­ble no matter how hard. He is not possessed even though his penis is gone—disappeared inside someone else, enveloped, smothered, in the muscled lining of flesh that he never sees, only feels, gripping, releasing, gripping, tighter, harder, firmer, then pushing out: and can he get out alive? seems a fundamen­tal anxiety that fuels male sexual compulsiveness and the whole discipline of depth psychology…

And for him, this small annihilation, this little powerlessness, is not eroticized as sex­ual possession of him by her, intrinsic to the act; proof of an el­emental reality, an unchanging relation between male and female. He experiences coitus as death; and he is sad; but he is not possessed.

- Andrea Dworkin, “Intercourse”

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The current argument on sex between the Right and the Left is not about the nature of fucking as such. It is strictly about whether or not this good thing is good outside marriage or be­ tween persons of the same gender (however they manage it)…

“It is really quite impossible,” writes James Baldwin, “ to be affir­mative about anything which one refuses to question; one is doomed to remain inarticulate about anything which one hasn’t, by an act of imagination, made one’s own.”…

“ Sex-negative” is the current secu­lar reductio ad absurdum used to dismiss or discredit ideas, particularly political critiques, that might lead to detumes­cence. Critiques of rape, pornography, and prostitution are “sex-negative” without qualification or examination, perhaps because so many men use these ignoble routes of access and domination to get laid, and without them the number of fucks would so significantly decrease that men might nearly be chaste…

Truth is harder to bear than ignorance, and so ignorance is valued more—also because the status quo depends on it;

- Andrea Dworkin, “Intercourse”

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Me: alrighty, it is 9:30pm, I’m just gonna open Pinterest real quick to find a certain thing-

Me, but 2 hours later: it is now nearly midnight. i was simply checking my feed, then clicked on the comment section of a meme, which led me to someone’s profile, which led me to a board on feminism. i have read a kajillion posts, felt terrified twice, cried 3 times, all whilst a feminist rage coursed through my veins. my initial goal was never completed and has been forgotten. i probably will not sleep until at least 3am. why must i live amomg such wretched humans

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Their reasons for keeping quiet are women’s reasons. Because they are women, their sexuality or even perceptions of it can dis­ credit or hurt or destroy them—inexplicably shame them; provoke rage, rape, and ridicule in men. Dissociation from other women is always the safest course. They are not sluttish, but other women who have had abortions probably are. They tried not to get preg­nant (birth control being illegal in many parts of the USA before 1973), but other women who had abortions probably did not. They love their children, but other women who have had abortions may well be the cold mothers, the cruel mothers, the vicious women. They are individuals of worth and good morals who had compelling reasons for aborting, but the other women who had abortions must have done something wrong, were wrong, are somehow indistinct (not emerged from the primal female slime as individuals), were sex not persons. In keeping the secret they cut themselves off from other women to escape the shame of other women, the shame of being the same as other women, the shame of being female. They are ashamed of having had this bloody experi­ence, of having this female body that gets torn into again and again and bleeds and can die from the tearing and the bleeding, the pain and the mess, of having this body that was violated again, this time by abortion…

There is the fear of having murdered: not someone, not real murder; but of having done something hauntingly wrong. She has learned (learned is a poor word for what has happened to her) that every life is more valuable than her own; her life gets value through motherhood, a kind of benign contamination. She has been having children in her mind, and getting her value through them, since she herself was a baby. Little girls believe that dolls are real babies. Little girls put dolls to sleep, feed them, bathe them, diaper them, nurse them through illnesses, teach them how to walk and how to talk and how to dress—love them. Abortion turns a woman into a murderer all right: she kills that child pregnant in her since her own childhood; she kills her allegiance to Motherhood First. This is a crime. She is guilty: of not wanting a baby…

The woman’s responsibility to the fertilized egg is imaginatively and with great conviction construed to be her relation to the adult male. At the very least, she must not murder him; nor should she outrage his existence by an assertion of her separateness from him, her dis­tinctness, her importance as a person independent of him.

- Andrea Dworkin, “Right-Wing Women”

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Women are humili­ated because they hated themselves, their sex, their female bodies, they hated being female…

Women also keep quiet about illegal abortions precisely because they had married sex: their husbands mounted them, fucked them, impregnated them; their husbands determined the time and the place and the act; desire, pleasure, or orgasm were not necessarily experienced by the women, yet the women ended up on the butcher’s block. The abortionist finished the job the husband had started. No one wants to remember this… 

Women also keep quiet about abortions they have had because they wanted the child, but the man did not; because they wanted other children and could not have them; because they never regret­ ted the abortion and did regret subsequent children…

Women keep quiet about abortions because abortion inside marriage is selfish, ruthless, marks the woman as heartless, loveless—yet she did it anyway. Women also keep quiet about abortions they have had, illegal abortions, because the woman who has had one, or tried to induce one in herself, is never really trusted again: if she will do that to herself—hurt herself, tear up her own insides rather than have a child—she must be the frenzied female, the female gone mad, the lunatic female, the female in rebellion against her own body and therefore against man and God, the female who is most feared and abhorred, the Medea underneath the devoted wife and mother, the wild woman, the woman enraged with the sorrow between her legs, the woman grief-stricken by the way men use her uterus, the woman who has finally refused to be forced and so she must be punished by the pain and the blood, the tearing and the terror.

- Andrea Dworkin, “Right-Wing Women”

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