#tw self harm ideation I guess for the tags? it’s not something that’s gonna happen and it’s exaggerated but still ig

[samuraisharkie]

I got like upset at something a little and now my entire being like every part of me seems to be doing some sort of diving challenge where it sees how low it can get as fast as possible

#vent #tw self harm ideation I guess for the tags? it’s not something that’s gonna happen and it’s exaggerated but still ig #mood drop. then it just keeps dropping I thought it would level out but it hasn’t now I’m crying and I can’t stand it #dude I want out. i hate it here in this body not even fucking joking #the only thing that would bring me peace is smashing my face open on the floor like a watermelon but obviously I can’t do that #I keep starting to cry all day and I can’t stand it dude. it’s been either nothing or awful all day #rules by stupid fucking chemicals in my body making me feel like shit. #pills that regulate chemicals only make me not want to die but anything past that is up to me and I cannot do it rn man #the pills that help w everything else are a fucking nightmare to get and keep up with and are expensive and I don’t have any right now #I want out of this fucking prison I feel like a robot I can’t deviate from my computed path even if I want to #WHY isn’t it getting better. bitch get over yourself like. come on. #everything fucking sucks #even listening to music right now is just noise. it’s not doing anything