#twweighttalk

[sarahreesbrennan]

I see many photos where the ‘after’ shows someone thinner than the ‘before.’ Here’s a different version. When I’m feeling vulnerable, I cover it with jokes. ‘Hey, at least I was skinny!’ ‘Dr: Any unexplained weight loss? Me: I wish!’ It’s safer than saying: When people were telling me I looked great, I felt lousy, scared, and sad they thought I looked better when I felt worse. Once I was in recovery people kept telling me how bad I’d looked. That doesn’t help either. We all have uncomfortable relationships with our bodies, because of society, ideas about what health is, and the fact our outside self is all most people can perceive of us! I was diagnosed late: I kept being told it was bronchitis, pneumonia, a kiwi allergy (that one was weird…), I’d be fine, I was clearly healthy. I often think about what my life, relationships and health would be like if I was diagnosed earlier, if people hadn’t assumed I was lying and secretly dieting or exercising a lot. But I get why they did: I get why I didn’t want it to be a warning sign. Weight is a weighted topic. I wish it wasn’t, for all of us. I love and find beautiful (not that my opinion matters) people of a hundred shapes and sizes, but we always have the most tangled relationship to our own bodies. The body is a vessel that carries us through our lives. If we’re happy with however that vessel looks, I think that’s awesome—but sometimes positivity is difficult. Here are 2 full-length pictures of me, during chemo and a couple years after. Honestly, I’m not happy with how I look in either. But in one, I’m trapped at home with medicines around me. In the other, I’m outside with my sister, on her wedding day. In the end, it’s about where the vessel takes you. #twweightloss #cancersurvivor #wedding #twweighttalk #milestonecountdown https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj51_fDL7fQ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#twweightloss #cancersurvivor #wedding #twweighttalk #milestonecountdown