#uhh god idk i should make a tag for when i talk abt stuff that isnt super sfw just for filtering reasons

[wooahaes]

like anon said, nothing that happened was your fault. it’s never okay to do that, and you aren’t to blame in any way. i hope someday you can see someone who you can talk to and will actually help, but just know that you can talk to me if you ever want to ☺️

also YES about non sexual intimacy. i can’t explain how good it feels to read about characters bathing together just to be in each other’s presence. you have no idea how soft that stuff makes me. and where they’re just lying in bed without any clothes on, not for sexual reasons, but just to feel the other’s warmth and skin?? i’m passed out on the floor by then 🤧

anyways, take care!!!

thanks hon <3 it'll probably be a long time until i fully believe that myself. i'll keep that in mind.

(also i'm not going to answer anymore asks abt my trauma rn. if they get sent in, either they'll be left unanswered or they'll get deleted. i appreciate the kindness a lot though <3)

(also warning for nsfw topics getting discussed here???)

literally... the intimacy of just sharing a space together is... chefs kiss. skin to skin contact is so good. like i said, the sexual intimacy is cool and all but sometimes a bitch (me) is yearning to just be held.

honestly i wouldnt mind like... less "sexy" sexual stuff too if tht makes sense? like haha yeah kinky shit whatever but i think smut of two dorks just being in love and having fun w it is cute too. literally give me some losers just having giggly loving sex and being in love w each other.

ok nsfw (not explicit rly??? theres one joke in the snippit i shared) but. this is an excuse to pull up my own stupid writing (between two ocs).

context: they had planned for some kinkier shit (blindfolding, handcuffs, some degradation + some praise, some play w toys), one of them safewords bc theres overstim that she can't handle that night, and it devolves into just. two idiots in love boning.

~

She laughed a little at the notion. "Loser," she reached up, finding his shoulders and gently pulling him forward. "Take this off. I wanna see you."

Icarus reached forward, gently undoing the tie from around her head, and tossing it aside. She blinked a few times as her eyes grew adjusted to the dim light, and then she smiled at him.

"Hi."

He smiled at her, "Hi."

"You come here often?" She giggled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. 

"No," he hummed, "but you will."

She gently smacked his shoulder. "That was awful." Ophelia ran her thumb across the apple of his cheek, smiling at him, "I'm sorry I ruined your scene." When he was at a loss for words, she leaned up to press another kiss against his lips. "You can move, if you want."

~

just. idk. theyre soft and i think abt this lil thing i wrote sometimes. its oldish and not good but idk i like them being in love. it just feels hard to find stuff where it feels like love and not just lust. i think livvie's writing is the only thing thats hit that sweet spot for me, but admittedly i avoid any smut that has 0 warnings on it or any smut with choking/hair pulling warnings which is......... idk more common than u would think. nothing wrong w pure lust stuff, but idk im a domestic bitch who likes the idea of sex being intimate personally lmao thats just me tho !! <3

also icarus is not his real first name. its cameron. he just goes by icarus more often bc hes a loser who went 'it sounds cooler' lmao (it IS his middle name tho bc his mom was like... artsy as fuck) ive had this oc since i was like 13 and i still love his stupid ass.

#wooahaes.ask #maijunejuly #uhh god idk i should make a tag for when i talk abt stuff that isnt super sfw just for filtering reasons

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

[httpsaw]

— 85 questions 💌

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag more people

i was tagged by @1esbiana thank u for tagging me angel!!

- LAST

1. drink - Raspberry & Blackberry water

2. phone call - My friend Emily

3. text message - my other friend Courtney

4. song you listened to - See you again by Tyler the creator

5. time you cried - Monday

- EVER

6. dated someone twice? - No

7. kissed someone and regretted it - the only 2 ppl ive kissed were guys so yes

8. been cheated on - No

9. lost someone special - Yeah

10. been depressed - Yes dsdfsjksdf still am b!

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - i havent thrown up i know my limits

- FAVE COLORS

12. Red

13. White

14. Green

- IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU…

15. made new friends - yeah and lost them but it be like that

16. fallen out of love - yes :(

17. laughed until you cried - yes omg i rlly be thinking i peed bc how hard i laughed

18. found out someone was talking about you - uhh yeah:/

19. met someone who changed you - no tbh its just me changing 

20. found out who your friends are - yeah:/

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - no

- GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all except 1

23. do you have any pets - a cat who i love legit i could go on for hours

24. do you want to change your name - i kinda wanna legally change my name to Rosa but thats tew much work

25. what did you do for your last birthday - no omg my birthdays r so depressing lets not talk abt this

26. what time did you wake up today - midday bc its not hot so i can rest

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - litchrally sleeping bc again its not hot so i dont have to suffer

28. what is something you can’t wait for - not being mentally ill & looking back at who i was in 10 years and how far i got or havent got

30. what are you listening to right now - Flower boy by Tyler the creator

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah in primary school but i never saw him after that and i dont even remember anything abt him except his name

32. something that gets on your nerves - people talkin over me it makes me so mad, ppl who dont listen/just ignore u like bitch okay then.

33. most visited website - uh tumblr or pinterest i love that bitch

34. hair color - dark brown i dont dye my hair bc im worried abt burning my head

35. long or short hair - its slowly making its way to shoulder length cant wait to cut it again i love cutting my own hair omg

36. do you have a crush on someone - no idk like this half year ive just been thinking abt myself and how i can better myself, plus everyone i know/met im not attracted to so

37. what do you like about yourself - uh my eyes, my ability to empathise, how i can stand up for myself sometimes, my creativeness

38. want any piercings? - no sometimes i want to get my ears pierced for hoop earings but i have hearing aids and ive been self consious of them since i was a kid i dont wear them when i should n i dont want to draw attention BUT im trying to accept it n be confident like im struggling w my voice but im kinda accepting it and liking it so i gotta accept my deafness bc i pierce my ears thats so dumb sjkdjkks

39. blood type - idk i feel like this is so ppl can steal my kidneys go away (or at least pay me)

40. nicknames - litchrally just Rosa or “that sad bitch”

41. relationship status - single also ive been thinking abt this like obv im 19 n v shy/isolated but im worried ill never fall in love w someone bc ive had ppl love me but like i just dont feel like i will ever truly love someone and not be over it in a week

42. zodiac - Leo sun/Sag Moon/Taurus Rising

43. pronouns - He/Him or They/Them i dont mind

44. fave tv shows - Breaking Bad, Pretty Little Liars, idk most of them suck n i get bored of them

45. tattoos - i have 2 n i want more but im poor :’(

46. right or left handed - right

47. ever had surgery - yeah ive had like 7 i was supposed to have had my 8th but uhhhhhhh yeah the phsycologist didnt think it was the right time

48. piercings - no go away

49. sport - do i look like i do sports??? (this was in the voice of that vine sjkdjkdsfjk)

50. vacation - im always on a vacation in my mind when i close my eyes

51. trainers - i wear one pair of shoes n theyre white nikes i love them i only like the white shoes bc i hate the black pair i have bc they look weird n i dont buy shoes often i may buy boots soon tho

- MORE GENERAL

52. eating - go away

53. drinking - i answered this before?

54. i’m about to watch - myself pin some stuff to my pinterest boards

55. waiting for - myself to finish this and then do my skincare routine

56. want - time to stand still so i cant breathe

57. get married - i said it before idk if ill ever love someone i probably will right like so many people do? but idk if i want to get married, i like the idea of a wedding n dressing up all nice but idk if its for me

58. career - uhhh writer fml or florist like idk if i need a degree for that but like lemme plant flowers ok damn

- THIS OR THAT

59. hugs or kisses - hugs

60. lips or eyes - eyes bc some ppl dont moisturize their damn lips

61. shorter or taller - taller bc im short but if my future gf was shorter then like ok? sflkkl like what am i supposed to do get her really high boots to wear?

62. older or younger - older i guess? i only have dated ppl my age but as long as its not a big age gap yk like i dont want to date a 30 year old rn sdfkksfdk

63. nice arms or stomach - arms bc i wanna be held

64. hookup or relationship - neither bc id have a panic attacksdjfsfjjkfsdjk too real

65. troublemaker or hesitant - uhh? idk ? what does this mean? im hesitant like i wanna make sure shit aint gonna ruin me or go awful and if it does i have a plan/vague idea on how to fix it

- HAVE YOU EVER

66. kissed a stranger - no id rather choke

67. drank hard liquor - yes but name a drink that doesnt taste like death

68. lost glasses - i dont have glasses but i probably would

69. turned someone down - yea haha i laugh bc im uncomfortable bc it ruined a rlly close friendship i had oh well!

70. sex on first date - no id rather DIE

71. broken someone’s heart - yes :(

72. had your heart broken - yes im a sensitive bich!

73. been arrested - no i know ppl that have been but thats as close as i ever wanna get

74. cried when someone died - i cried when allison argent & lexa died but noone irl

75. fallen for a friend - yeah but it was online n we dont talk anymore but i do miss her

- DO YOU BELIEVE IN

76. yourself - yes im a legend (im in a good mood so yes i do)

77. miracles - uhhh i dunno?

78. love at first sight - yes im not even gonna play

79. santa claus - no but if ppl do thats cute n who am i to tell them not to

80. kiss on a first date - id let u know if i ever go on one!

81. angels - dunno? i guess i believe in god but angels? not really? like i wouldnt say they definetly DONT exist but i also wouldnt put my faith in them

- OTHER

82. best friend’s name - uh thats my cat Zulu

83. eye color - brown

84. fave movie - 13 going on 30 i bought it on discount from morrisons thinking i wouldnt like it but itd be something to watch but biiiiiiiitch i feel in love w that movie!!!

85. fave actor - crystal reed but only bc she played allison argent n i still would die for her

-Tag others: @matd @01chuu @lunesgf @nbwlw n anyone else who wants to 

#alcohol // #death mention // #abt me #sorry lmk if yall dont wanna b tagged but ye