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whatisgameofthrones · 7 years

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Season 7 Episode 6 Recap

I’m uploading this late because I got home from Gencon on Sunday. I was home by the time the episode aired, but I was way too tired to watch it. Instead, I laid on the couch and watched rhythm game videos for like two hours. By the way, at Gencon I saw a bunch of things like coasters that said “I Drink and I Know Things” in the Game of Thrones font. As I am sure somebody has said this, it must mean that at least one of the characters drinks and also knows things. I can relate to this quote because I am currently drinking wine.

Previously

The redhead’s father was a traitor, so she must prove herself. I don’t know who she is. Arya found that paper. Dennis is unlike her father. Jon Snow received a sword. The roving gang of Some Guys looked in that fire. Have we seen those dudes again? I forget. Jon and his friends are in some sort of cold place.

Introduction/Theme song

So the introduction definitely changed. Kings Landing. Dragonstone, which I think was the place that had all of the dragonstone. Winterfell. That looks like the castle where Jon Snow and the Starks are from. The Wall. Eastwatch, which is part of the wall. I think that’s the cold place where Jon is. Some place that either wasn’t labelled or maybe I just missed the label.

The actual show

Jon and his buddies are still cold. They’re talking about the differences between the north side and south sides. The one guy was sold to a witch. He’s all like, “You guys sold me to a witch,” and everybody else is like, “Stop complaining,” but he’s like, “You literally sold me to a witch and she stole my blood.”

Jon shows the one guy his sword. “Your father gave me this sword in the show intro. He put a wolf on it instead of a bear. I like wolves. Do you want it, though?” The guy doesn’t.

Arya tells stories about how their father used to watch them from the watchin’ balcony where everybody watches things. I’m just going to start calling this place “Winterfell”. Don’t correct me if I’m wrong. Anyway, she tells her sister a story like, “One time I was bad at archery, and dad was watching me. Now he’s dead.” The story needs some workshopping. She then reads the paper that she found before, which was written by her sister about their father’s death. They argue about which one of them is cooler and tougher. I forget the one sister’s name. I know it was written on that paper. Sansa? Arya says something about Sansa and a guy named Joffrey. It’s probably “Geoffrey” like the Toys R Us giraffe, but she pronounces it “Joffrey”.

Jon and his buddies are still walking. It seems like it took them no time to reach this place; now it’s taking forever to get to wherever they’re going now. Everybody’s cold and tired and they start hitting on each other. Eye patch bro tries to give a motivational speech about how he fights for his life. But Jon is like “But everybody dies” and the guy is like “Oh right. It’s not a very good motivational speech I guess.”

Oh, these are the roving gang of Some Guys. I didn’t recognize them because nearly everybody looks and dresses the same.

Peter Dinklage and Dragontales are hanging out by the fire. By the way, I didn’t get around to trying the Game of Thrones card game at Gencon. However, I heard that one of the guys that worked on it also worked on Twilight Imperium, which is cool. Wait, did Peter Dinklage just say his father was Joffrey? For a room that’s completely open to sunlight on one side and has a fire on the other, it sure is dark in here. Peter Dinklage gets all Sun Tzu about understanding your enemy. Peter Dinklage says something about planning for the long term, and Dragontales responds by saying that they should have planned for the short term, but she does it in a way that makes it sound like she’s making a short joke. I’d say that’s a low blow, but that also sounds like a short joke.

We’re back with Jon and Some Guys. In the dense cold the one guy grunts and points at an AT-AT. Nevermind, it’s just a bear. They get in a circle because bears are afraid of circles. Or so they thought. Two guys with +1 longswords try to attack the bear, as flaming longswords do an extra 1d6 fire damage. The bear attacks a bunch of them. They cauterize the one guy’s wounds with one of the flaming longswords, which is a really creative use of magic items.

Sansa is whining to that priest looking dude. Did I ever give him a nickname?

Yep, Jon and Some Guys are still walking. Just… walking and talking. At work today at least 4 people were bugging me about putting a new post up. I made a deal with my one coworker that I promised to watch the episode tonight if he would watch the first episode of the Ducktales reboot. If you’re reading this, you know who you are, and you better be prepared to talk about Ducktales. (The reboot is really good, by the way.)

It looks like Voldemort has stumbled upon the Some Guys fire. They Some Guys attack and… win. I think? Like, Voldemort get stabbed and he shatters into ice, and then all of the other zombie guys also just collapse. Except for that one. That’s it, right? Like, end of show, the Ice King Voldemort is dead. They notice that they’re about to get swarmed so they start running. Yep, then they get swarmed. I’m just now noticing how great a Game of Thrones themed Dead of Winter would probably be. At least, I think it could be cool. There was a GoT Catan at Gencon, which didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Okay, I’ll stop talking about Gencon, maybe. The main guys make their way to a frozen lake. They get caught in the middle, but this holds off the hoards of zoms. Meanwhile, their one friend runs until he falls flat on his face. But he was right in front of the door! He’s good though, and he’s like “send a raven”. Back on Some Guys island their one friend dies. Jon Snow pours out a forty of the body of his dead homie, and they set his body on fire. I don’t quite know why. That seems like a worse way to dispose of him than to just let his body freeze. Oh, by the way, they still have the one zom with them, but it’s tied up. Also, they’re still surrounded. And up on that hill is Voldemort. I guess he’s not dead. Or maybe he got better. Maybe it was another Voldemort?

Sansa gets invited to Kings Landing. Apparently there’s a guy named Littlefinger. I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to this scene because my friend texted me. They were actually walking by our house and saw that we were watching Game of Thrones.

Peter Dinklage is really worried that Dragontales will die. He brought this up before. He’s like, “Who’s gonna have all your stuff? Can I have your stuff?” Dragontales flies away. On a dragon. It’s not like she can just fly, though that would be cool, too.

Some Guys start passing the time by throwing rocks at zombies, like you do. The one Zom realizes that he can just walk across the lake. The rest of the zoms are like “Oh, yeah. Why didn’t we do this earlier?” The zombies start attacking from all sides, but slowly because these are important characters and at least some of them have to live a few more episodes. I guess this is less like Dead of Winter and more like Zombicide. I like tabletop games. Jon Snow shoves a guy off a ledge into a pit of zoms. I think it was by accident. This activates sad slow motion combat. Oh, and now there are dragons. Dragontales is here! Dragons are powerful because they have flying, which in this case is a much more effective form of evasion than the zombies with snow covered landwalk. That’s another gaming joke. Gencon was fun, okay? Dragontales is here to save Jon Snow. But then Voldemort shows up with his pointy stick, and throws the stick at a dragon. Not the dragon that they were going to ride, but one of the other ones. The dragon dies to direct damage. Now I’m sad because dragons are like birds. Wow, everybody else was trying to kill dragons with big weapons, but nobody bothered to figure out their greatest weakness: pointy sticks. Voldemort tries to throw another pointy stick at the dragon they’re riding, but Dragontales is smart enough to serpentine. Oh, and they took off without Jon Snow. He was too busy drowning in freezing cold water. A guy on a horse shows up with a +1 flaming flail. I think it’s Jon Snow’s uncle? Anyway, Jon takes off on the horse and the other guy fights off the rest of the… oh nevermind. He’s dead.

Now where are they? Is this the place in the wall from the intro? Eastwatch? Dragontales sees Jon approach on this horse. They all board a boat. I don’t know whose boat this is or where it came from. I thought Dragontales only got around by riding dragons.

Sansa finds her sister’s collection of realistic masks. She’s like, “Where did you get these?” and Arya is all mysterious about it. But they’re curiously well-made masks. Sansa doubles down on the masks and gets real stern. “What’s with these faces? Have you been snorting masks again? I told you to stop hanging out with those Spirit Halloween employees.” Arya gets real creepy like she’s about to steal Sansa’s face, but then she doesn’t. The face harvest will wait for another day.

Back aboard the boat Dragontales and Jon Snow talk about how they’re going to fight the (K)night king. Jon calls Dragontales “Danny”. Do you think his name is Jon Snow because he’s always cold? Hahahaha. Like, snow is cold. Hahahahahahaha. That’s hilarious. Here comes cold Jon; he sure does like the snow. Hahahahahaha.

The zoms dredge the dragon from the lake. Oh shit, are they going to zombify the dragon? Dragon zombie? That’d be cool. Oh shit, I think they just did. Voldemort put his hand on the dragon and it opened its eye. And its eye is blue. Now the army of the dead has a blue-eyes white dragon. More gaming jokes.

Next time

Soldiers. Boats. Soldiers. Horses. Soldiers. Horses. Boats. Castles. Soldiers. Castles.

#game of thrones #s07e06

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