#v nostalgic 🥹 i have. a lot of memories tied to it

[noxtivagus]

night in the brume is just so perfect honestly

#🌙.rambles #[ ffxiv. ] #i'll never run out of words to ramble out it oh god it just means so much to me #v nostalgic 🥹 i have. a lot of memories tied to it #nights nights many ones on my own & many with my twin many w friends #god i swear everytime i listen to night in the brume it just. puts me at peace fr #when i close my eyes i can imagine #just. walking. in silence. maybe looking up at the stars. talking to the moon. gazing up at the forlorn yet beautiful heavens #maybe it's cold but you're not alone in this moment #perhaps imagine. the warmth of one's hand holding your own. gentle soft gaze. the intimacy in eye contact. sigh #how it fills you up with more peace & emotion that you could ever describe. more love than in the letters you write to each other #sometimes i rlly do wish i were in ffxiv's world or wtvr :< #i've always been like that my fiction has always been more. idk there's always more in my head #irl i'm usually in my own head. i don't talk to people too often #i'm rambling again :<< i can't help it there's just so much. i don't know thoughts? emotions? in me n #while i'm generally usually rather quiet. always when i'd break out of that shy shell i'd always have a lot to say. my mind n heart r full #i definitely do romanticize things more than i admit but i still hold on very tightly to reality. i'm always aware of what's real or not #i want to live in the stories in my head. oft there's not enough stimulation or wtvr for me irl #i'd love to just. write n dream n think. do that again like i used to but i think #i have to be careful with reality. maybe i can be too meticulous but :c i'm afraid. just like any other human of losing what's dear to me #but it puts me at unease bcs i hate having to restrain myself i wld just love to be free. #i think i'd manage so much better n deal w sm of my struggles better if i felt that. i could rlly be free in this world. at the very least. #i don't like being bound. there's sm more to reality than what's just seen or wtvr n i want to explore it all. learn everything. create too #i love staying up late. nights like these. bcs i cld just take my mind off the stresses of life. but i need to take better care of myself #hfdfjd night in the brume always reminds me of these sort of things tho bcs it's tied to so much important things to me that i love vv much #i want to write again. even if it's embarrassing goddamn not indulging in my passions makes me feel like a lover separated from her dearest #i've always been like this anyways. i wna be more at peace w myself. holistically. i shldn't let fear burden n weigh me down #just be myself yeah fill my heart with love for life as i am wont to do 🥹 i ramble too much tho oh no i feel like rambling about ffxiv rn #i'll sleep in a bit i need Some rest at least >< it's nearly 6 am.... oh my god good night #i'm probably gna be stressed later today w yh but i feel like myself again rn. just stay true to myself n remember yeah n i'll be fine c: