#wandering around with amnesia unfortunately lol

[endlessdelirium]

Nothing to see here (or "We can't stop here. This is Bat Country!)

Hello from The Void! How did you get here? Well, I probably liked one of your posts, or I read something you posted that really resonated with me to the point that I broke my silence and actually responded (instead of just lurking like a creepy ghost). Or you're probably like a creepy ghost yourself and saw my username enough times or read one of my comments that made you wonder just who is this moron spouting off all this nonsense? Either way, you thought you'd check out my account and return the favor, or something, I really have no idea why you're here lol.

The thing is, I made this account years ago. I had a couple of irl friends who also had accounts, so I followed them plus a handful of other people from my interests back then. And it was great for awhile, until social media fatigue set in. This was nothing new. There'd be new social media sites that would be trendy for a time, and I'd be curious enough to try it for awhile, until I realize lol I'm not a very social person irl, why would I be better at it online? So I start losing interest until I eventually stop checking in. Even now, I am barely on any social media sites. I keep my Facebook account active because that's pretty much the only way people could get in touch with me if they don't have my number, and I'm on Reddit all the time but I barely post/comment there as well and just mostly lurk (like a creepy, creepy ghost wooohhh. Nah, but seriously, social anxiety is a real bitch!) Other than that, I practically have zero social media presence.

So I'm pretty much done with Tumblr... until Haikyuu dragged me back in. I can't really remember when I entered the fandom, I think I started watching sometime in late 2018 and I've been obsessing ever since. Reading the manga wasn't enough, I wanted more content. The Reddit sub was okay... for awhile. Eventually I wandered back into the wastelands of Twitter and Tumblr, all in my pursuit of extra Haikyuu juice. Yes, there's no point denying it, I'm pretty much an addict at this point. Stop judging me.

The thing is, I'm also incredibly lazy. I didn't see the point of creating new accounts when my old ones are still serviceable. For all intents and purposes, this account is pretty much dead. It's just, sometimes (okay, lots of times) I would scroll through Haikyuu tags and I would find something funny, insightful, pretty, interesting that I just have to like it (or is it hearting something? Sorry, I'm not really well versed in Tumblr lingo anymore) or leave a comment to show my appreciation. Which is all well and good, it's just lately a couple of people have been following my account, which isn't terrible per se, I just find it a bit weird since I haven't posted anything new in years. Really, the only thing I updated was my profile pic, since my account was supposed to be a personal one, and wasn't supposed to be dedicated to just a specific fandom so the pic I originally used was one of my irl head which is just... ick! I don't know what I was thinking. So I changed it because I didn't want to frighten anyone by manifesting my mug in their notifications, and really Hinata's head is infinitely better than my head so it can only be an improvement for my account.

Other than that, I pretty much left everything as is. I didn't have the heart to delete everything. In a way, it's kind of like a time capsule for me, still, I don't really recognize the me who made these posts anymore. I mean, I don't have amnesia or anything. I sorta remember them, but since they were made by a younger version of me, one with different interests and obsessions (I mean still share some of these things with this person, it's just a lot has changed as well, and I've since changed my opinion about some things) there's a sort of detachment as well. Which is why it feels like receiving a jolt of electricity everytime I get a new notification that someone has liked a picture or post. It's like "Huh?", I sort of remember the post, but also not really since it was litterally from years ago made by a younger and more naive me. "Okay, I guess?" is all I can say at the end.

So, what now? I still don't want delete my posts. Even though it kind of weirds me out now, I still like having it as a record. Like "Hey, this was ME! Wasn't I weird? I mean, I'm still weird, but in a slightly different way. Anyway, wasn't I a riot?" I also don't feel like making a new account. I still don't really consider myself active in these parts. I just like scrolling through my tags of interest (like a creepy stalker), liking awesome fan arts, and leaving a comment or two when I couldn't contain myself anymore and I just had to say something. I've also thought about re-blogging things sometimes, but I feel that would tip my account back into a semi-active state, and I don't feel like it just yet. Maybe in the future. For now I kinda like keeping my account as is, as a time capsule when I was still active here.

So, where does that leave you? I still don't really know why you're here, but you're welcome to have a look around. Just remember you're looking at an old account and it would help if you view it like a window to the past. I don't mind if you like anything, just know I only have vague memories of making any of those posts so I can't really discuss any of them now. If you're okay with all of that, then make yourself at home... or not, I'm not the boss of you lol.

Anyway, you're still here? And you read everything? Why? I mean, wow, what a trooper! I gotta reward you with something. You know what, here's a picture of Hinata. Did I draw it? Of course not, don't be silly! I like art, but unfortunately art doesn't like me so I can't draw to save my life. So this here's just regular manga panels of Hinata. But not just any Hinata, it's Third Year Hinata! Why? Why not? I see many itenerations of Hinata on Tumblr including Brazil Hinata, but for some reason I don't see Third Year Hinata get as much love on here. I don't really get it. He is so precious. So here he is!

Bonus: The Duality of Hinata

Thanks for stopping by. Have a nice day!

[jcylenz]

4, 11, 16, 19 (if you want) 😚⛄🌈

ask meme for muns

4. Can you tell us about your 5 favorite muses?

In alphabetical order, bc I can’t make an actual top list ranking them, but I still need some kind of order.

Alice Fortescue - The one baby I played the longest and in most situations and groups. My actual baby. She is the mother hen of Hogwarts, has a knack to become a martyr for the causes she believes in, she fiercely loves her friends and family and suffers I think one of the most tragic fates in HP altogether.

Darcy Palmer - (tw death) Translator and interpreter who traveled the world and fell in love with a woman high up in a gang (unknowing of all of that) that resulted in her witnessing the murder of the woman she loved, almost dying herself and her own sister getting killed in the process as well. Now she has to make her way through life in witness protection under a completely new name and identity, separated from the rest of her family while having to deal with her demons in the dead of the night.

Glenda Chittock - My tiny baby who started out with her nose in between the pages and who felt more comfortable around books than around people. She barely did anything, barely experienced everything. And then an illness of her little brother opens her eyes and makes her realize that she has to go out and try things. Ans slowly she opens up, can communicate with people more. She has a never-ending knowledge that she always spurs out at people whenever she is nervous. She first works for the Daily Prophet as a journalist, and then eventually realizes that while her rambling doesn’t work in writing, she can’t get her points across, in a medium where she can talk, she can be captivating and interesting, hence why she starts doing her own radio show - which is the only canon fact we know about her.

Heidi Bergen - (tw abuse) Oh boy, where do I even start. This baby went through so much shit in her life to get to where she is. Happy first few years, then being separated from her dickhead father and older brother, her mother practically abandoned her little sister and her so she had to raise her sister. All of this turned into anger that she didn’t know how to handle, isolating her from everyone except for her own sister. She was angry at the world and the world was angry right back at her. She found a release in boxing, but the attitude and the need to push most people away remained - while also clinging to any romantical partner she had with tooth and nail, desperate to find somebody who wouldn’t leave her in the end. Resulted in her being in an abusive relationship that she could barely get out of and after she ran off to halfway across the country to make sure she is really far away from the dude. She’s a kickass criminal defense lawyer and in different versions of her she was either fighting with any kind of clients or specifically protecting crime syndicates.

Isabel de la Vega - My narcissist, self-centered merm whose backstory resembles the little mermaid’s story in many ways, but is so completely different from that fictional character. She arrives to Soapberry, a town where the supernaturals can openly walk around and be themselves, running from her past mistakes and failures and tries to make a new life for herself while also having a superiority in her, a constant need to be right, be the center of attention and not share anything personal about herself.

11. Can you tell us about your favorite ship?

Uhhhh, why are you doing this to me? How am I supposed to choose just ONE? I’m going to cheat and say top 5 here too because I’m horrible and can’t be helped. In alphabetical order, bc I can’t make an actual top list ranking them, but I still need some kind of order.

Alice Fortescue/Amos Diggory (@theeriinyes) - my first Alice ship that started out as a kind of “oh we won’t go there because it’s not canon” and ended up with us absolutely going there because we couldn’t help it. They grew up together, fell in love slowly. He was a playboy, she was the mother hen. He wanted nothing more than to keep his family safe, she wanted to fight in the war beyond reason or logic. They loved each other more than anything and it’s been years and years and I’m still not over them honestly. They had a baby in the mids of the war and after Alice suffered the fateful ending of hers, Amos visits her every day, hoping that she’d wake up one day and remember him and their family. And now lemme just go and weep.

Ariel/Eli - My first ever big otp in RPing. Ariel was my OUAT indie who was struggling with having her memories back, dealing with the real world and the fairy world being so different and wanting to leave Storybrooke to explore and have adventures while not being able to because of the border-amnesia thing, while Eli was a wandered who had a shadow inhabiting his body since he was a kid, they were one and a same at this point and the two of them accidentally met and fell in love and oh boy was it beautiful. I loved them so freaking much and even though I’ve lost touch with the player of Eli since then and it took me incredibly long to even find Ariel’s old blog, I still think about them sometimes and weep over how beautiful they were.

Darcy Palmer/Diego Chavez (@diegojaimechavez) - Honestly they came as a surprise I think to both of us because we originally planned to have a completely platonic relationship between these two, but then they both went and had feelings for one another and there was no stopping them. “Enemies” to friends to lovers where they were forced to work together considering Diego was charged with keeping Darcy safe, so even though they were constantly fighting with each other, they couldn’t just stay away due to their situation, and then slowly they started opening up to one another and realizing their own errors and finding the good and lovable in the other and now they are dummies in love who refuse to admit or say it out loud but still have such huge trust and respect for each other that nobody is breaking that.

Carlota Fuentes/Gianluca Romano (@pedrazamaria​) - I mean, any of our babies could be on here, I could have really just made a list of top 5 just out of our babies but I restrained myself lol. But these two. One is the daughter of the leader of a huge gang while the other is a drug dealer in said gang. They didn’t really notice each other until one night they hook up and then they fall in love without meaning to. One never really looked for love but found it with him, the other was never considered worthy of love until she came along and they were happy. And then shit went down, torture and hatered and misunderstanding and they are pulled apart and for years they barely even interact, only for a family tragedy to bring them close again. Him hurting her on accident, without intent, and then her hurting him back in ways she knows would cause most pain because she is trying to protect her heart. It’s a mess, it’s tragical, they probably should stay away from each other, but they love each other too much to not gravitate back to each other sooner or later.

Alice Fortescue/Evan Mulciber - Unfortunately I can’t tag anyone here either, and I know this looks weird and unnatural to anyone who knows just the tiniest bit about the Marauders Era, but I swear it worked and it was beautiful. Alice was the one who would give the benefit of the doubt to anyone, Evan was the misunderstood antihero, ruthless to most but fiercely protective over those whom he considered family. They dated and were arranged to be married. And then the Mary incident happened and Alice broke things off, but the arranged marriage stayed. They were platonic, but Alice still saw the good in him and he still considered her family. He was impulsive and she tried to think through things, he was blamed for so many things he didn’t actually commit and she saw through the lies and knew he wasn’t to blame. It was complicated and simple all at the same time. And as weird and strange as this pairing sounds, I loved them so, so, so incredibly much.

16. How long have you been roleplaying?

It’s really fucking insane to write it down, but it’s been close to 10 years now. I started RPing around the end of S1 of Vampire Diaries. It was on LiveJournal, I brought Anna back from the dead and played her in a Hungarian RP. After that, I transitioned to Tumblr and did an Ariel OUAT indie for a long while before I fell into the world of groups and the rest is history.

19. What do you miss about old roleplay? (Roleplay before 2017?)

The amount of time I had to dedicate to it. I actually started working in 2017, before that I was in uni and high school and I remember having so much more time on my hand. And with that I miss the speed that I could move plots along. These days a lot of the time I can only get through my replies and then I already have to go to sleep or have other things to do, while before I could just do back and forths almost daily and that was so great. (Then again, back then my replies were mostly like one paragraph long, now I prefer long-ass paras, so that might be a contributing factor in it too.)

#aquarianlight #answered #ask meme #rp things #about #this ended up being SO FREAKING LONG LIKE WOW #thank you for sending this in! #i am gonna put most of it under a read more bc i ended up rmabling