#was your dad like *we can't let my son venture too far or he'll get hatecrimed* because honestly....

[variousqueerthings]

it’s a problem that hawkeye looks like this: 

while talking about this: 

sir:

sir I know this is an entire scene’s worth of “pretending to be a homosexual who’s in love with frank” but you make it come out so sincerely that I have to overanalyse it just because and headcanon you’re talking about trapper by proxy (and you get away with it, because it’s a “joke” and juuust removed enough to be taken as such)

#hawkeye pierce #im rewatching MASH #MASH #he really does say things sometimes doesn't he..... #his hair really was black in the first season #and then..... #he's got kind of a classic moviestar look going on here #which is good because the classic moviestars were overwhelmingly gay #this scene really is several minutes long #were you like this back in america? #was your dad like *we can't let my son venture too far or he'll get hatecrimed* because honestly.... #this is the early 50s sir!!!! #(and he was an adult in the 40s already it's not like it's actually 1970-something and even THEN! this is the guy who made america #fall in love with him huh -- guess you really can get away with a lot if it's cloaked in comedy) #you remember the episode where he crashes in his jeep and monologues for 20mins and one of the things he talks about #is this one guy who beat him up whose shoes he vomited on back in highschool and who was apparently *a great guy* #yeah i'll overanalyse that anecdote too #you're not very good at pretending to be someone you're not (if you ever really were) #shielding yourself through comedy so nobody takes the truth seriously is a tried and ture tactic #true* #and of course... not like this is a single scene in which this happens... this is... one of many... many #many many many #we end our rambles here

[thefandomcassandra]

How about some Zayne Darkshadow or Applebees brothers? For the Quarantine requests,,

BRUH UR MIND

(So I accidentally queued this before it was finished and I'm kinda angry? Mmm. Not the first time this has happened but I will reblog this later with the actual version hhh)

---

Zayn would consider himself lucky. Not many could have gotten out from Underdark. Less still would have been able to even find some form of stability alone. Even less would have lived to tell the tale.

I mean, he's not alive, but he can talk, so that counts for something.

He'd always liked dark and depressing things. He was never certain the exact reason for it but he'd always been drawn to death and darkness and misery. Maybe it was an "as above, so below" type thing where he just was mad depressed all the time and therefore his brain decided that, yeah, okay, skull and bats and death. Let's get invested in necromancy! Fuck yeah!

So now — no longer in Underdark, no longer depressed, no longer bullied, no longer alive — he had a home that genuinely cared for him and he'd never felt better.

Especially because the other day he rallied the ghosts of Mordred Manor into scaring Gorgug into a rage, which was a win in his book. And after things calmed down, even Gorgug found it funny.

So yeah, he'd consider himself lucky.

---

Bricker and Cork were confused. See, Kristen hadn't been home in days and mom and dad wouldn't talk to them about her and whenever they asked, they yelled at them. So, one day during summer break, when mom and dad were working on their summer camp prep stuff for Helio and had gotten old lady McAfee to watch them, they got together and decided to go find her.

And then they got lost in downtown Elmsville, which wasn't great.

Cork, of course, started crying as soon as they realized they didn't know where they were. Bricker tried to put on a brave face coz he's the older one, but after another ten minutes of wandering around in an area filled with non-humans and drugs and crimes and and and —

"Hey, kiddos. You lost?" A goblin woman in a police uniform stopped to talk to them after their fifth minute of solid crying. She had a nice face — in spite of the jagged teeth and yellow eyes — and was talking nice and calm and slow.

Bricker nodded. Cork just kept sniffling. "We — we're looking for our sister?"

"Oh? Does she live around here?" She asked, her ears flopped as she tilted her head inquisitively. Bricker nodded again, gripping Cork's hand in his. "Do you know where?"

"She's s'posed to be with her 'venturing party? In a apartment? Strong something? But we can't find it." The goblin lady's ears shot up and she let out a soft gasp.

"Well you've done very well getting this far from home, I can tell you that. I actually think I know where you're looking for? You're Kristen's brothers, right?"

Cork nodded, his teeth clacking together. "Yeah! Kristen Applebees. Miss her..."

"Then you're not too far off. Strongtower Luxury Apartments is where I live too, with my son, who's part of her party. I can take you there if you want to follow me? Otherwise I can get you two bus tickets back home. You don't have to trust me just because I know your sister."

Cork looked at Bricker. Bricker looked at Cork. They quietly came to a consensus and turned back to the goblin lady. "I think we need to go home. Old lady McAfee's gonna wake up eventually and mom and dad will be so mad f'we're not home. Then we'll get grounded, n'that sucks. Thank you tho."

"That's very responsible of you." The goblin lady smiled, soft, and her teeth weren't as scary as they thought at first. "Let me get you tickets home and also, have this." She offered them a small card, which Cork took and stared at, squinting as he tried to read it.

"Riz Gu-Gukgak...licenced in-vestiga-tor?" He sounded out. The goblin lady smiled again and nodded, her ears flopping slightly.

"Yeah. That's my son's number. If you want to talk to Kristen, call him. I'm sure he'll gladly patch you through. And that way, if your parents ask, you're not talking to her."

"'Nk you." Cork said.

"Thank you, ma'am." Bricker chorused.

"You are very welcome. Now," the goblin lady held out one gloved hand to them and tilted her head, "let's get you back home, hm?" Both boys took her hands and, despite what they'd been told, her hand felt like everyone else's.

They couldn't wait to tell their friends they met a goblin cop. And they definitely couldn't wait to call Riz and talk to Kristen.

She probably did kill a dragon, and they needed to know all the details.

#Non #dimension 20 #dim20 #dimension 20 spoilers #zayn #cork #bricker #look okay #i love these lil boys #they deserve the world #sorry for the premature queue #fucking tumblr #the sheepy writes fic