#wasnt playin any music or anything just listening to the rain and letting myself get swept up in chair cleaning lmao

[roaringheat]

I was really productive today and i'm trying to be proud of myself but theres nothing like being reminded by my family that they consider me lesser and an after thought to kill my mood and motivation

#vark posts #dont rb #all i did was ask my dad and my sister if they wanted to play mc and an hour later i get some half assed 'idk' #ik that might not seem like much but this happens everytime i make some attempt to spend time with them #whatever i suggest is never good enough and i'm lucky if i even get texted first #they never personally inv me over and everytime ive pointed it out theyve spun it around on me #they even go so far as to ignore me and put me down in person #maybe its time i go low contact #i so badly want things to go back to how they used to be but nothin good is gonna come out of putting myself in this situation over and ove #i responded to the idk text with 'you can just say no. its not that big a deal' and ik thats gonna piss my dad off #so i havent looked at my phone since #nothin like family trauma to make me use desktop tumblr lol #sorry to vent this like all happened at most 10 mins since posting this #and im very hurt #anyways fuck them check out the shit i did today #i took out the trash + worked out + did the dishes + started a russian study journal #+ cleaned and disinfected 1 of 4 cobweb and spider covered chairs so now we have a chair for the dining table! #cleaned the chair outside on my apts front porch while it was raining so it was actually pretty nice and peacful #wasnt playin any music or anything just listening to the rain and letting myself get swept up in chair cleaning lmao #im a bad bitch as soon as im left home alone all day