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dailymotions · 7 years

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January 5

Another pretty uneventful day. My parents want me to "fix" my sleep schedule so that I'll be ready for the spring semester, but they don't realize that it won't really matter, for various reasons. I'm trying to appease them anyways, so I woke up at six in the morning. Got up, got ready, went downstairs for breakfast around seven. After breakfast, I hung out in my room until nine, and then I went grocery shopping with my mom. We got back, had lunch, and I basically did nothing for the rest of the day, other than make some brownies at some point. I want to focus on a person this time. My EPIC friend group has a groupme. And we're planning to meet up sometime during winter break and have lunch with one another. Most of them live near one another, in Montgomery County. However, I, along with two others, don't live as close. We all live in Baltimore County, and the place we decided to meet for lunch was at least an hour drive. Anyways, there's a guy named Sam in this group. And to be completely honest, I don't like him very much. This might upset some people and I'm sorry, but this is just how I see it and I want to be brutally honest about everything. It's a thing I'm working on, and I'm trying to see past some of these things and be friends with him, but it's a very difficult thing to do. But at least let me explain my reasons for not liking him. At first, I thought he was good looking, and everyone seemed to like him, so I thought, "wow, I'd like to be friends with him". I got to know him more, and yeah, he was a nice guy. Still is. We even started a snapchat streak with one another. The closer I got to him, the more I noticed something about him. I tried to ignore it, but then something happened, and I came to the realization that maybe that's how he always is. I could be wrong, but again, this is just how I see it. So what happened was that Sam was dating a girl, but started to like another girl who was actually a friend of all of us from EPIC named Jimin. They confirmed their feelings for one another, but Sam continued to date the other girl, claiming that he was waiting until after finals to break up with her. And yet, he spent a lot of time with both girls, which can be seen by many as cheating. I eventually brought this up to both of them. I told Sam, "this is basically cheating", to which his immediate first response was "no". Of course, after I finished what I was saying, he finally agreed with me, but that initial response really stuck with me. We finished our whole talk, then Jimin and Sam talked with one another for a good two hours and they figured out and planned what they were going to do. I won't go into details about that. But anyways, he eventually broke up with his girlfriend, and as for if he and Jimin are now together or if they're going to get together later, I'm not sure yet. Regardless, I don't approve. Jimin is a good friend of mine. And Sam is a cheater. I don't want to sugarcoat it. That's how I saw and still somewhat see him as. If he did it once, he'll do it again. And that last thing I want is for him to do that to a close friend. I got annoyed with him and this situation that I broke my snapchat streak with him finally. He snapchatted me a day or two ago saying something along the lines of "why did our snapstreak have to break??? I miss you" and I stopped what I was doing. This is a good time to mention what I've noticed about him before any of this happened. His personality. It's the type where he tries to make everyone like him. He does everything to seem "cutesy", to make himself look good, and whatnot. I may be the only person who sees him this way, probably because I've had a lot of bad friendships in the past, so I tend to be very critical about personalities. My personality and his just don't match. He focuses more about himself than others and I can't tell you how many times he's interrupted me while I'm talking to talk more about himself. And so when I got the snapchat, I was dumbstruck for lack of a better word. I didn't think we were THAT close, to the point where he'd say "I miss you". I saw that and felt uncomfortable. Maybe because my view of him was already distorted, but it raised a flag in my mind, and I didn't like it. I still responded and just brushed off my uneasiness. Then he messages the groupme. Christine, the one planning the event was asking the two other people living in Baltimore County with me a question. Samantha is the name of one of the people who lives in Baltimore and we often call her Sam or Sami. It was obvious that when Christine address her and Cat, we meant her and Cat, not him and Cat. And yet Sam felt the need to comment. That wasn't too bad, but I just don't understand why he couldn't figure out that we weren't talking about him. I'll continue. Then we talked about transportation, and remember that the drive is over an hour long. I asked if we could maybe push the event to an earlier time, since my dad was driving and he didn't want to get caught in traffic because of rush hour, and I didn't want to rush our eating and then leave. Everyone else was very understanding of the situation, except for Sam. He commented to "just stay in moco until the evening". I'm not sure if I'm explaining well enough, but hopefully enough for you understand my frustration. I'm not going to have my dad drive over an hour to get there and then drive all the way back home, maybe rest for not even and hour or so, and then have to drive another hour to pick us up and an hour back again. So unless Sam has gas money for my dad, his suggestion was, in my opinion, inconsiderate. I didn't appreciate it at all. I ranted a lot about Sam. I could probably keep going, but I don't want to. As much of a stress reliever this was to talk about this and let this all off my chest, I also feel bad. Despite all I said about Sam, he's still a nice guy. This may be the extreme way of putting it, but I'm learning to love my enemies. Though I may not like him, everyone else does, and I need to give him another chance. I want to give him another chance. At the moment though, I'm struggling to do so. We'll see how this friendship goes, but peace out for now!

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