#am i going to go unhinged and use fuckin tumblr of all things

[rosedom]

hihihihi its your froggy friend aureramphibian again :D I have a lime popsicle and degenerate thoughts about pretty boys lesgo here's one that's been bouncing around in my brain like the DVD logo when the movie was paused too long and it's about my favorite boy!!

so Tighnari's fuckin stubborn, right? this is common knowledge that he'd be stubborn? Getting into an argument with him- not even really an argument, even, it's just a stupid petty squabble type thing but you're frustrated and he's annoyed so he stomps off to do some paperwork or experiment notes or something and you go to your shared room and stew in your thoughts for a bit before you decide fuck it, idea time and head over to where Tighnari's focused on work, frowning intensely at it. He doesn't exactly ignore you, just kind of 'hm?'s at you and just tells you he's busy, can it wait? So off goes the shirt, tossing it onto the floor. You see his ears twitch but he doesn't say anything and he doesn't turn around. So then your pants come off, and he still doesn't notice, so your underwear follows and you stride over and grab his chin, gently tilting his head to look at you and hey, that sure fuckin worked!!! He's staring at you in shock, too surprised to be embarrassed of how unashamedly he's just staring at you, everything from your shoulders and collarbones to your hips and waist to the apex of your thighs and how he can see you're turned on. And when you ask him, all teasing, if he'll pay attention to you now, he's nodding before you've finished talking and he's reaching for your sides to pull you closer. (And tbh that'd be up to you personally if you'd let him but since it's me writing and you know how I am whore with an oral fixation at your service you can probably guess where this is going ^>^) Stopping him gently, keeping him from pulling you closer and instead dropping to your knees, helping him scoot his chair out and tapping the waistband of his pants, letting him pull them off himself along with his underwear so you're face-to-face with his pretty cock, twitchy and aching and practically begging you to suck it. If you can hold off for just a minute longer, just stroking him with your fingers to give him some stimulation, you can call him your good boy and your pretty fox, tell him you're sorry for fighting, you know it was petty and you don't like when he's mad, he looks so much better when he's completely stupid from the pleasure you're giving him and tbh he wouldn't be too far gone yet so he's not all there, sure, but he's there enough to agree the fight was stupid and petty and he's sorry it got like that too but can you talk about this later because he wants more and who are you to deny him when he's asking so nicely? And this is where my brain completely devolves into just body worship/cock worship and I reach a level of unhinged degeneracy that is genuinely embarrassing hfgdjdfhgdkjg listen i just really think boys are so pretty and deserve to be told and SHOWN so, is that a crime?!?!

Anyways- Hope you enjoyed, Rosey! <333

"i (aureramphibian hi hello it me :D) am SO sad I just realized tumblr absolutely nommed on an ask I sent you with a very long Tighnari thought and my sadness upon realizing you didn't get to read it is immeasurable so I'm gonna try to redo it as best I can ^>^" . . . cont. below !!

"So the original thought was a sort of rework of a draft I've had for fucking ages and flipped around, where (the concept is courtesy of my bff must give the bestie credit) after getting in a fight/argument, what if you/the other person stripped naked and knelt at their/your feet to beg for forgiveness? And I'm a proud Tighnari simp, so... this happened.

"Okokokok in MY mind, it'd be not even like a real argument yk? It's not something that's genuinely upsetting that you need to talk about and work through together later, this is more like. A Couple's Spat if you will. Lover's Quarrel type bullshit (no clue if I'm using those correctly but fuck it we ball). It's enough you're both a little frustrated without being something that needs a sit-down conversation that a sexual intervention would mess up by happening. So maybe Tighnari stomped off to do some report thing and cool himself down but here's the thing:

"Tighnari doesn't like you both being mad at each other and despite his undeniable stubbornness, he'll be the one to do something to fix it if he has to. And maybe he's a little horny bc sometimes people (you) can be kinda hot when they're mad but that's Neither Here Nor There- so he grits his teeth and swallows his pride, shuffles back into the other room, tail quite literally between his legs, and sees you like. Working on something. Watching TV. IDK man it's imagination time let it run wild but he says something and you hum, but don't look at him, so he says your name again and you look, but only a glance before you're right back to what you're doing. I imagine, as a sub, Tighnari really prefers if you're fully in control, taking the reigns, making him brainless- because when he has a brain, it's a damn good one (the fuckin smartass) so he overthinks and ruins it for himself and he hates it. So when he's in this position, having to actively show submission, his brain is NOT happy. So I imagine he'd have zero decorum, like one really heavy breath out through the nose before he takes off his shirt and chucks it at you- and, yknow, archer, so his aim is gnarly even with improvised projectiles so it smacks you right in the face but like, it worked didn't it?? It got your attention yeah??? Because now you get to watch your pretty fox kick his pants off to the side and flop down next to where you're sitting, lean his forehead on your thigh, and mumble something you can't hear but assume is an apology from the way his ears are drooping.

"So I'm- I- listen I'm a whore this is not new info but do you know just how annoying it would be for Tighnari, how much he likes being petted? Do you know how easy it would be to tease him?? By petting him gently, smoothing his hair back out of his face, gently scratching his scalp with your nails- he'd turn so red I know it and i am frothing at the mouth because of it. anyways

"I am now at a really unfortunate crossroads because ideally here you'd get to suck him off (we will NOT talk about the straight up cock worship that was included in the draft i have that is not posted for a reason and the reason is I'm a slut but i'm a nervous one) but there's also something to be said for him sucking you off, which would be the sort of yknow, logical course of action here considering he's already on his knees and you could get off while watching him practically soak the floor beneath him as he tries his damn best to suck your very soul out. So I will let you decide since I can't :D Hope you enjoyed it Rosey I am going to strangle tumblr with my bare hands (i was gonna say thighs but. anyone would enjoy that too much) (Im sorry)

"K BYE ILYSM MWAH" - @aureramphibian (two separate inboxes 'cos tumblr did not, in fact, eat his original post)

"hope u enjoyed, rosey !" rosey just came in his pants. this was so so hot. I LOVE U MORE !!! i'm so sorry it took so long for me to reply ,, but i absolutely adore these thoughts. why don't u post more of them on ur account ರ⁠_⁠ರ ur such a talented writer !!

i love how the first thought is like ,, tighnari ignoring reader; and the second turns the tables. but both can absolutely end in cock worship . . but in another way.

like, imagining your pretty fox all huffy n' red-faced in his annoyance—and it turns quickly to that flush of arousal, you nosing at his groin . . . teasing around his cock, fingertips brushing his pale skin turned to teasing your fingers through that thick thatch of neatly groomed hair . . . he's well-kept, and i am practically salivating rn at the thought of nosing around his cute lil' cock . . .

while i may be calling it "lil'," i just know 'nari has a nice fuckin' cock—thick and long, cutely curved. it's the perfect weight for your tongue. holyyy hell, and finally nudging that thick weight in your mouth . . no, no, i'm getting ahead of myself.

first—well, technically second, third, or even fourth, considering how you'd absolutely need to tease at his skin and hair beforehand—teasing his cock with your fingers, too; dragging your fingers from the neat hair at the base of it and following the vein (because he absolutely has such a prominent one) ,, your mind is simply so, so powerful. and after, you need to tease him with your lips !! kiss at the head of his cock—which will undoubtedly be leaking thick rivulets of precum by then—, wrap your lips around it and suckle, light, before drawing away entirely to instead kiss his navel . . hhhhhhhhggg he has such a cute fucking cock.

and then once the apologies start flowing—from either you or him, depending—and the sweet begs and pleas begin floating around you, that's when you can finally quit the pretenses and truly suck tighnari down. sloppy blowjob, cock worshipping . . godddd. his cock'd be so, so heavy on your tongue, heady as you suck at it and hollow your cheeks. it'd be hard not to gag, but you'd be well-used to his cock by now, wouldn't you? be able to suck him down to the hilt, throat sweetly massing his glans? fuck.

he'd cry out all these mindless babbles, too—these sweet, "please, please !" and "'m sorry, please, more, more—" all the way to, "i love u, i love u so much . . " i'll applaud you if you manage to do all this without cumming untouched in your own pants—'cos i certainly wouldn't be able to, faced with such a pretty sight. and imagining the way his tail would either wag or wrap around you, the fur of it tickling the arms you hold him with so tightly. i simply wanna see 'nari lose control of everything.

on the flip side, then, you've got tighnari worshipping your cock. well. okay. i'm getting ahead of myself again, sorry; but 'nari, stripped naked and nuzzling into your thigh as he's kneeling in front of the sofa you're sat on, begging for your hands to just pet him because even if you're "fighting," he still needs your comfort (and you need to give it to him. a win-win, yeah?). then just ,, finally stroking his hair, his ears, thumbs digging into his temples to rub and massage at the headache you're sure is there . . he's so, so spoiled.

call him your "good boy," your "sweet fox," listening to him whine as he starts nuzzling at the growing tent in your pants. how can't you get a hard-on when you've got a blushy fox at your feet !! it's so sweet, the submission he gives to you even when he should be mad, when you should be at a crossroads ,, even then, he still trusts you so, so much.

"go on then, 'nari." you'd need to goad him on, unzip your own pants and tug your cock out from your briefs yourself. he needs to know he has permission, for this. "wanna cockwarm me? wanna have my cum, my sweet lil' fox?" with your mouth free like this, at least, you can dirty talk him to your dirty heart's desire as he drools and slobbers across the throbbing head of your cock.

he's got such a talented mouth, too—lips wrapped around your cock, stretched downright obscenely . . . it would be so, so fucking hot to see and feel his saliva start to drip down to your balls.

and, god, i feel like not enough people talk about this but imagine tighnari with a slightly rough tongue, too. it'd hardly be enough to pull at the skin of your cock, really; it only provides the most pleasurable friction across the bottom of your cock, licking at you leisurely as he warms you. he can easily lose track of time like this, lost to the weight of you heavy in his mouth.

times like these don't even necessarily need to end in orgasm, either. it's all about that intimacy<33

watch out, though: if all lover's spats end up like this, you may find yourself with an even snarkier bf !!!

29 APR. 2024, @rosedom, @aureramphibian .

#ㅤ✦【 INBOX 】 #do i use these same physical hcs in my cy/nari thoughts? ye . #rough tongue and thick u know what . . hahaha #anywhoooo . . #dom reader #top reader #amab reader #sub genshin #genshin smut #genshin thirsts #genshin thirst #sub tighnari #tighnari smut #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #thank u for ur patience aug <33 xx

[song-of-the-rune]

Sooo discord just doesn't work correctly anymore on mobile. And I don't mean just for me, I mean our whole (IRL) friend group. Messages do not load without relaunching the app completely and notifications get eaten. Anyone got alternatives? Has to work on mobile, and I would prefer something "softer" than a text that also works on desktop, since we use it to organize IRL meetups but also people shitpost in there. Already have voice figured out so that's totally optional.

Like seriously I would be more confident messaging them on tumblr of all things lmao.

#runic ramblings #slack is not an option I'm not paying for a server #I can self-host if that helps but I can't find anything FOSS that has a mobile app I could convince people to use #half the group is #more or less tech-illiterate #we have tried groupme in the past so that's a no go also unless it's changed drastically #I don't necessarily mind dropping a buck or two per person for app usage as long as it's one-time #honestly #you can message on sideblogs #am i going to go unhinged and use fuckin tumblr of all things #funny option: set up a custom miiverse server

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

1, 22, & 26-28 for the weird writer questions?

YUH THESE ARE GOOD ONES!!! Thanks for sending me some ^_^

I'm putting it under a readmore cause some of the answers got long!

What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting? Believe it or not, I prefer to write in Comic Sans. Studies show that it improves productivity and unfortunately that proves true for me lmao 22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud? I'm pretty organized. I have a writing space in my Notion app that's organized by genre and then has sub-pages. Like this:

Each project has it's own little section under the genre tag. Even in my offline writing program, I have it organized with subfolders and everything.

I dislike not being able to find my shit when I need it and writing is lowkey stressful enough that a clustered workspace just makes me extra cranky about it lmao. I am definitely one of those people that needs an aesthetic, vibe-filled writing space for maximum output. I can't easily afford them in reality so I make digital ones instead!

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

If it's a canon character, honestly, I am probably so obsessed with them and have consumed so much content of them if I have the desire to write about them in their pov that I'm like that tumblr meme that's like 'They're not real to YOU. I know them personally.' and I get basically fuckin possessed by my image of them while I marathon write until 6am LMAO

For my OCs, most of them all have at least tiny slivers of myself in them--if they're not outright reader inserts--that it's not super hard to put myself in their heads or get out--with the latter especially it's kinda more like acting??? where there's like a 'annnnnnd cut!' and I'm back to normal lol. I do A LOT of character work on the side with them as well though like I'm pretty sure everybody has playlists or multiple playlists, I usually have fashion picked out, I I try to figure out their favorite movies and flavors, and I usually try to find multiple other characters to influence them on that have similar vibes, archetypes, and/or motivations. I am a VERY character driven writer so this is definitely what the majority of my focus goes into.

The problem comes when I have to get into the minds of my OCs like Ariana and SA, who were created during a time where my mental health was at its worst and those experiences are core parts of their personalities, so in order to write them accurately I have to be back in that miserable headspace of things I've long since recovered from. I definitely write them better when I'm authentically feeling shitty. It's not so much that writing them puts me in a bad place, but it's just really exhausting to do after awhile.

Another thing I like to do, which is a little unhinged lol, but just like...talking to them helps? Like just imagine scenarios where you're hanging out. Ask them questions. Write it down or not. I used to write letters to my ocs as a kid and have them write back. It doesn't even have to be you specifically, but just making up the equivalent of a filler episode with the characters of your choosing helps a lot. Be silly with them! RP with your friends! Put them in crossovers or AUs! Redo one of your favorite media scenes but with your charas! Everyone's afraid to be cringe with their characters now, but I'm a hardcore believer that being a little cringe is really important to their development actually.

Sorry that got long lmao

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

We'll say Ariana, cause the other two in the series I know are gonna be worse I haven't technically written yet

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Oh, definitely my OC Cloud. Hands down. Writing a fearless know-it-all asshole is endless fun lmao

THANKS AGAIN FOR THESE!!!!! =D

Ask me weird writer questions!!!!

#ask box! #writer memes #blightcroc

[zeleniafic]

Tagged by @starsandstormyseas tysm!! <3

Tagging @lorettastwilight @a-song-of-quill-and-feather @margothedestroyerr if y’all wanna do it :)

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you are contractually obligated to know better that you would love to get to know better. (I definitely don’t know that many people) <--- lmfao same

Name/Nickname: never have i ever had a nickname but my Real Name (tm) is Callie

Gender: female

Star sign: taurus

Height: 5'0”

Time: 6:43 PM

Birthday: may 5th which is fun bc. as my boss pointed out. i can NEVER go out on my birthday (lol not a problem) w/o ppl thinking i’m one of those weird white ppl getting smashed on cinco de mayo

Favorite Bands: bastille, måneskin, florence + the machine, paramore, pvris, the crane wives, sleeping at last, the civil wars, uhhh a lot more tbh

Favorite Solo artists: hozier, matt maeson, au/ra, taylor swift, hayley williams, holly humberstone, maggie rogers, and i’m just gonna make myself stop here

Song stuck in my head: therefore i am by billie eilish which is a BOP

Last movie: profumo de venezhia aka the shortest but most depressing fucking war movie you could ever watch (despite showing no blood at all) EVEN IF you don’t know italian. it’s sO SAD

Last Show: the mandalorian but three weeks behind lmao rip

When did I create this blog: February 2020 but the sideblog version was around at least a year ish longer

What do I post: oc fics and oc content. in theory.

Last thing I googled: “euphonium”

Other blogs: ahhahahah oh god. @rexulusblack is my OG tumblr started as a young teen which hasn’t been posted on since the queue ran out years ago. @rxchelamber is my mostly defunct gaming sideblog. @crownedsiren is technically my main bc i used to have a fanfic blog just on the side until i got fed up with not being able to send asks lol. also @andromaqves was made earlier this year when i couldn’t stop spamming old guard posts on this blog bc i could NOTTT shut up about that movie. every now and then it possesses me again so those posts go there LMFAO i’m unhinged i know. i’ve been on this website for tooooooo many years by now

Do I get asks: occasionally???

Why I chose my url: my ffn username is SilverZelenia so... that. that’s why.

Following: 53 which is hilarious bc all other blogs have wayyyy higher like my og had thousands lmfao

Followers: 54

Average hours of sleep: like... 5 on avg probably. kill me.

Lucky number: don’t have one but odd numbers can choke. evens only thanks

Instruments: like 2% of violin. someday.... SOMEDAY

What am I wearing: fuzzy pajamas bc my house has no heating

Dream job: i simply do not dream of labor HOWEVER i do want to do science. study animals in the arctic. map the ocean floor. restore documents in a museum. fuckin idk man i want to EXPLORE this world rather than toil for minimum wage until i die

Dream trip: ICELAND as it has been for the better part of a decade

Favorite food: pasta. brownies. potatoes.

Nationality: unfortunately, american

Favorite song: just ONE?! fuck okay. the hand that feeds by the crane wives which is the ultimate fuck capitalism anthem and has one specific line which is my favorite thing ever written - ”he taught me that the hand that feeds, deserves to be bitten when it beats” especially THE WAY SHE GROWLS IT ugggh

Last book read: Sentieri aka. my italian textbook

Top three fictional universes I’d like to live in: harry potter first bc The Nostalgia, narnia second bc i would simply tell lion jesus to fuck off and let susan AND her lipstick into furry heaven, and then tolkien third... but like hopefully in the sweet spot btwn wars

#tag game #about me #zel.txt

[nightcoremoon]

for the record I'm not actually upset over the comments people are making. I've been doing the internet fight thing for 15 years. but here's an anecdote.

a couple years ago when Discourse™ first got its start, I saw a post. it said "saying 'my dude' is antiblack racist because it's just a watered down way of saying 'my n*gga'" except he actually said the word because op was black. and I was like. what the fuck am I reading. I check the notes and he's all like "if you're white you're not allowed to disagree with me". I'm like wha. granted there were a bunch of people who had said "I'm black and you're an idiot" and it died out and lo and behold if I say my dude I don't get crucified by black people so it's clearly not racist.

then a meme surfaced. you start ranting and raving in a really long sentence or something that's usually directed towards people who do or say bigoted things and then ending it with a comma and a soccermom name, KAREN. it was used pretty much everywhere by everyone. but then one strangely peculiar thing happened.

people started sending anonymous suicide baits to people who used that meme, because "that meme was created by black people so it's culturally appropriating black culture to use that meme if you're white". including one trans kid who was like 14, living in an abusive and homophobic household. he used it in a vent post. and in the notes at least three people were harassing him about it. he deleted his blog. I worry he might have killed himself.

the people who were sending the messages were in their early to mid 20s. to a 14 year old kid. because he used a black created meme. to vent about his abusive household. I shouldn't have to explain how fucked up that is.

anyway I'd come to his defense and made a post about how it's ridiculous to cyberbully a child because he used a meme he didn't have the license to use. and tumblr flipped out. I had hundreds of messages from people calling me a nazi. yeah sure a disabled mentally ill queer trans leftist is totally a nazi. right. they said I was racist, they said I was homophobic to gay black people, they said that I was a liar who fabricated that story I told earlier about that kid because by the time people were asking for receipts the post was deleted. I got suicide baited, threatened, the whole shebang.

I didn't care. I was just irritated by the huge influx of messages. it was an inconvenience. after the life I lead, mean words on the internet from a spineless coward hiding behind the veil of anonymity are water off a duck's back. yes I might use fuckin profanity or italicized fonts or CAPITAL LETTERS for emphasis, but it's because I'm a wordsmith. language is an art form. a keyboard is my brush. I'm proud of my ability to harness the english language and twist and contort it to my own specifications. I can use it for great good, in helping people through tough times with inspiring words that incite courage, for great funny, in jokes that might take some thinking and context to really understand (especially puns), for great sexy (talking dirty basically but only with certain people and when the time is right), or for insulting people. anyone who knows me knows that I'm a good person and that the only people who ever know what it's like to receive a tongue lashing are the ones who fucking deserve it. not the people who see a single text post taken out of context as a basis to judge my entire character on. but I enjoy it. I enjoy using words as weapons on the battlefield of discourse. it's because I'm good at it. beyond the abilities of most opponents which is unfortunate because it just sails right over their heads most of the time but still, my fellow intelligent company is able to grasp the meanings and intentions of both sides. I excel at this. and the fact that I don't take things personally (I'll certainly pretend to when it'll gain me the advantage) is just icing on the cake.

there is just one problem though.

I'm autistic and possess hyperempathy.

"what does that have to do with this?"

see, here's the thing. if some random person makes an offhand comment intended as a joke but didn't really have the "correct" amount of blatant humor injected into it, and you are the type of person to then go to them and tell them they'd be better off dead, they're just a retard who should stop posting, nobody cares about them, whatever, you are NOT the type of person to think "hmm this person's only 14, maybe I should reconsider the choice to send them a death threat" or "oh hey this person has depression, perhaps I'll remove that suicide bait part and replace it with rainbow lollipops and unicorn stickers :3". you don't give a fuck about all that. you just wanna reap destruction and watch the world burn. you wouldn't give a fuck if that kid commits suicide because you don't have any compassion or empathy. if you would send the kind of shit you sent me to anyone, and I had the chance to meet you in person, I'd make you swallow your own teeth.

these anons don't care how old I am. they don't care what my mental state is. they don't care about any of that shit. they only care about inflicting pain, deserved or not, and all over dumb shitposts. over "lmao if you break up over mario kart you're kind of immature and should work on your relationship skills :P". over saying Karen at the end of your sentence. over greeting a friend with "my dude". over liking steven universe. it doesn't matter what the topic of the day is. any excuse will do to go for the proverbial jugular.

the existence of these people is what pisses me off more than the actual things that they say. how dare you exist. how dare you spread hate. how dare you not be a paragon of human decency. if someone says something racist or homophobic or antisemitic or misogynistic or body shaming or pro fascist or bootlicking or genocidal or anything contributing directly to harmful actions towards people based on their demographics rather than the choices that they make, fuck 'em. you lost my compassion for you. you're a piece of old chewing gum under a table. you're a little chunk of dookie that didn't get flushed. you're a moldy apricot pit at the bottom of an unlined trash can. you made a conscious choice to be a bad person. if you are a literal nazi, I'd remove your bones and then put them back in the wrong places without any anesthetic. if you are bigoted because society brainwashed you, I'd call you character into question and point out your hypocrisy. if you made a dumb joke on a shitpost I'd just scroll past because I'm not gonna waste my time on you. but if you would tell a kid to kill themself, you bet your ass I'll tear into you like hungry wolves into a deer carcass with zero remorse or sense of your own feewings. if you want me to care about the feelings of terrible people, you have another thing coming. if they would hurt people who don't deserve it, they're on the shit list.

and I refuse to be told that I'm a bad person because of that. severe, yes. ruthless, maybe. evil? that's pushing it a lot. a little unhinged? I've not been hinged since I was 3 years old. an asshole? I vehemently disagree considering the people i'm rude to are themselves assholes; this isn't some edgy friedrich nietsche quote taken out of context. merciless? okay I'll give you that. but a bad person? fuck that and fuck you.

you don't get to judge my character because I'm ~mean~ to dickheads.

in fact I'm somehow more pissed off at those people than the people sending the shitty messages in the first place. lashing out I can understand because that was me once upon a time. but passive neutrality under guise as absolute good? you're attacking the reaction. you're centrists attacking antifa. you're part of the problem. especially when you use sneaky tactics that take advantage of good nature, "heyyyyy buddy, let's talk about your anger issues, are you okaaaaaay, taaaaalk to me, you need to apologize to the people who want you dead because you were mean to them and that means you deserve it". literal cult tactics. evil. actual legitimate active performed evil. or just an ignorant misguided fool that thinks he's the dalai lama. but... pride is a deadly sin after all.

anyway tl;dr i don't give a shit about the actual things you say to me. the only thing that pisses me off is the fact that you'd say those things to another person completely unprovoked, no matter who that person is.

[vagabond-sun]

hey, otherkin community? can non-psychotic folks maybe please consider the language they use to talk about delusions in response to certain antikin accusations?

the canned argument of ‘well i talked to my psych / looked in the DSM and by definition otherkin doesn’t count as that’ is often employed in a way that furthers stigma, but i don’t want to attribute to malice what’s probably just ignorance, so here’s some PSAs from a certified delusional alterhuman who specifically has delusions about their alterhumanity:

being delusional isn’t a binary state. there’s a thousand shades of lucidity between ‘perfectly neurotypical’ and ‘completely unhinged’ and what level we experience varies over time and depending on the subject. only very rarely am i completely sure that my body is literally, physically dead. on most days it’s a maybe or a what if or just a kinda metaphorical thing. i’m sure that everyone with anxiety can relate to the feeling of being fully emotionally convinced that you’re in danger, but cognitively dismissing it. it’s like that a lot.

delusions don’t necessarily impact your actions in a significant way. okay, so i’m a walking corpse and that gives me magic powers. what am i gonna do about that? what is there even to be done? the answer is binge watch iZombie on netflix, mostly. i mean, like, really, what would you do if you woke up dead one day? a lot of people assume that an irrational belief inherently leads to irrational action but most of us experience what would be logical reactions to our absurd premises if they were in fact objectively true.

significant action taken because of a delusion isn’t necessarily harmful. my undeadness results in a lot of little rituals and habits i perform to make sure that people don’t catch on - namely, i’m a clean freak. and that makes me a little neurotic, and i maybe stress myself out about hygiene more than i need to, but that’s hardly the end of the fuckin world. maintaining and masking my rotting flesh objectively just looks like... an extensive skincare regimen.

harmful action taken because of a delusion isn’t helped by snapping us out of it. i have obsessive ruminations and intrusive thoughts almost constantly about the fragility of my body - my corpse - to a frightening and upsetting degree. funnily enough, telling me i was being irrational didn’t help that! what did help was addressing my problems in the context of the delusion. i learned about the physical properties of cadavers and how hardy they can be even in death, and lo and behold! i can talk myself down from shitty thought patterns by telling myself that just because i’m dead doesn’t mean i’m gonna spontaneously explode if i trip.

it’s not bad to have an alterhuman identity based on a delusion. listen, i’ve been on antipsychotics and found them not amazing. my perception of myself as undead provides a rich narrative thread to my life that quite frankly i feel worse off without. yeah, it causes me problems, but doesn’t alterhumanity in general? the solution is to address the things which are actually harmful, not the alterhumanity as a whole.

delusional alterhumans still ultimately know best whether their identity is harming them. yes, i promise you, a delusional person still knows more about what’s going on in their head than you do. an outside perspective can be helpful to point out things they might not have noticed, sure. it’s typically less helpful, though, when it’s a stranger on tumblr assuming something’s ‘wrong’ with me because i’m not couching every statement with ‘of course i know i’m human really :)’

like i said, i get that people who respond to antikin the way they do have the best intentions, and acknowledge that it’s a step up from denying the place of mental illness in the alterhuman community at all. but delusional alterhumans exist in your communities, some because of our delusions, and we deserve to be represented fairly on both fronts.

#alterhuman #otherkin #nonhuman #pseriouslypsychosis #actuallyschizotypal #schizoid #i have plenty of alterhuman identity bits which /aren't/ based in delusion ftr #which i shouldn't have to disclaim but respectability etc etc #people seem to one dimensionalize people who talk abt their alterhumanity like this is all im saying #cws for: #antikin #psychiatry #frank disucssions of - #delusions #death #thoughtcrimes