#we just watched ep 9 where she’s running around like crown aegon but save rhaenyra but listen to my father but avoid war but but but. girl

[visenyaism]

Ever since I watched HOT D I have felt conflicted about Alicent's character because I can't figure out her motivation. At the beginning it's clear she's only doing what Otto wants but later on... What is the reason she wants her son to be on the throne so bad ? ( When it doesn't seem to me like she cares about having power )

The only thing that I see is that she is extremely bitter and angry that she had to be this perfect woman when she was still a child and marry and have children with and old man. Meanwhile her friend is just fucking around not respecting any of the value she has to uphold.

But idk is it really only anger at Rhaenyra that makes her want this ?

one of the reasons I like alicent as a character so much is the 8 layers of cognitive dissonance she processes everything through at all times. She’s constantly trying to convince herself everything will be fine and also not allowing herself to really want anything for herself. She’s not a rational actor because she was robbed of the ability to emotionally mature past the age of 15 in a lot of respects, but it makes her a compelling (and confusing!) character.

I think it’s safe to say that on a fundamental level she at least wants a) to be close to Rhaenyra b) for her family to be safe and for her father to be proud of her and c) for someone to acknowledge her suffering (she cannot conceptualize a world where what she went through didn’t have to happen, she just wants anyone to recognize it as painful.)

She thought that Rhaenyra was also going to be suffering in a loveless marriage alongside her, and they’d have that in common. To see her “breaking the rules” that have made Alicent’s entire life completely miserable is just too much. She got her life destroyed by this system and by Viserys wanting sons, and he doesn’t even care about them OR about her, he only loves his eldest daughter even though SHE “breaks” all of these “rules.” That’s super emotionally devastating, and Alicent decides to pin that on Rhaenyra instead of her father or Viserys because if she did that, she would actually have to deal with the years of emotional trauma and violence that she’s been repressing. She can’t see a way out, so she just projects the rage she cannot internalize onto Rhaenyra.

Her father spent decades trying to convince her that Rhaenyra was going to be a threat to her family in the event of a succession, an idea he stood to gain a lot from, but it also isn’t totally crazy. Aegon Aemond and Daeron WERE threats to Rhaenyra’s claim. Putting Aegon on the throne was the only pathway that Alicent had been drilled to envision for decades, and the only one she thought would keep her kids safe. Also- if one in her life is going to acknowledge what happened to her was horrible and wrong, then at least everything she’s went through has to be worth something. Aegon’s coronation was also the culmination of that idea for her.

She doesn’t want power because she cannot even conceptualize having power as an option for herself- she’s never pictured herself on the throne, and she’s only trying to make a window in the wall of her prison. I don’t think she ever envisioned what her life would be like after she got Aegon on the throne, so I’m real excited to see what she’s going to be doing in season 2. TLDR it’s not about getting specifically Aegon on the throne that’s important, but more about following the rules she’s been taught will make her happy and safe and successful, even though on some level she knows that all it’s ever done is hurt her. Free alicent from the narrative she knows what story she’s in and she knows there’s no way out💚💔

#hotd #asoiaf #this got long. sorry for being an alicent defender 4 lyfe she is so interesting to me #we just watched ep 9 where she’s running around like crown aegon but save rhaenyra but listen to my father but avoid war but but but. girl #alicent hightower #she has so many layers of that sweet sweet cognitive dissonance. yum psychological problems. want to study her under a microscope #she doesn’t go to church because of hightower instinct she is COPING