#we know it’s a bug we know his parents were entemologists we KNOW

[birdmenanime]

Can you believe that the 2nd most important person to the story BARELY had ANY screen time of his blackout. WE SAW HIS BLACKOUT 3 WHOLE TIMES. NOT ENOUGH FOR ME TO DISSECT HIS GAY TRAUMATIZED BRAIN!

#pacing around the room crawling on all fours admiring the yellow wallpaper #we know it’s a bug we know his parents were entemologists we KNOW #that his parents jobs uprooted him from a young age and never had him learn social skills we KNOW that the job in south america #cost them their lives and caused Takayama to become what he is and we KNOW that certain bugs can fly and #that bugs are misunderstood. most people see bugs and freak out and you have to be patient and learn to like them #Takayamas blackouts always take up space and are ‘unsightly’ or mutated in some way #they’re impulsive and headstrong and lean with force and logic not heart #one of the bugs chanted ‘kill’ like it was the only word it knew. all Takayama ever did was fight and kill the trauma inside of him #and NEVER addressed it. kill the emotions kill the trauma kill the guilt #the second blackout was a mosquito a creature that takes blood and can cause malaria #the eyes VERY IMPORTANT were the same eye rings as to which seraphs get #tosses everything on the floor and madly trying to scramble up a connection #anyways. Takayama has done everything he could intentionally or not to kill anything human within him. he doesn’t know what hes doing or #who or what he is and it’s scary. he fails to save people over and over and he thinks he’s unsalvagable. #the real reason he reached out to the bird club was because he was lonely. so crushingly lonely. he can fight and kick the trauma #all he wants but at the end of the day hes the same kid he was the day his parents died and he became a seraphim #and maybe that’s why the third blackout is when he was about to finally meet eva. she is the only proof that he is real #eva is the only proof that takayama was once a kid. the only reminder #eva and Takayama’s relationship is weird but to me it I would say to Takayama Eva is like a mother to him #and eva used him from the start. #idk Takayama makes me lose my mind. have u ever considered how takayama #views himself as a bug. and the fact that bugs have never bothered karasuma #karasuma knows what Takayama is like but Karasuma has seen all of Takayama and still loves him #anyways how are YOU guys I wrote this while in horrible stomach pain. #birdmen #takayama sou