#we would have super violent dubiously safe sex

[selamat-linting]

y/n reader fantasies are a little embarrassing. i admit it. but, my fantasy of becoming tony montana's personal enemy that he always beats up by hand but never kill despite us being opposites in ideology and career is different i swear!!!

#scarface liveblogging #if youre curious here is x reader fanfic lore with him #i met him when he's a dishwasher. we talk and be super close friends. but then turns out im a union man trying to get him to join #so he beats me almost to death #but he still calls me asking me to join his drug business when he's succesful #saying i could be like manny and i could get all the power without being a commie #but yknow. im a union man whose friends are ruined because of cocaine. so i say no and beat him up this time #he's angry but couldnt bring himself to kill me #so he tries to stay away. but we keep crossing paths because he's a business and a drug lord #while im in a union and is trying to build something to reduce the cocaine epidemic #so we have semi regular hate dates where we meet in a random spot and beat each other senseless both physically and verbally #the winner gets to rob the pockets and wallets of the loser #we had sex once or twice #whenever he gets too stressed and paranoid he calls me to a neutral place. i wouldnt go to the fancy places he likes #im the only clear cut enemy he has. so he kept asking me why im the way i am. and i do the same. trying to understand ourselves by #examining our opposites. of course this conversation is filled with hostility and insults #we'll get each other so worked up one of us would punch each other. the other would start to leave #but one of use would pull back #and the fighting would turn into a full on make out session #we would have super violent dubiously safe sex #he wll give me an std

[chellyfishing]

So I’m on the last book in the villains & virtues trilogy by AK Caggiano which I am absolutely loving and I just real quick wanted to talk about something the author has been doing that I think is so cool and I’m putting it under a cut mostly because it’s sexual in nature (oblique references to SA also):

The conceit of the book is that we have our villainous bad boy, “Damien Maleficus Bloodthorne” (these books are VERY self-aware) and a good girl named Amma, and they are forced together by The Circumstance and despite initially clashing they end up developing feelings for each other.

In the first two books we learn about a villain Amma knew in her previous life before meeting Damien, and while it’s never discussed explicitly or any amount of detail, the two had a sexual relationship that was dubiously consensual at absolute best (that’s the “person who treated her like an object” mentioned above), and there’s a scene in which he outright attempts to force himself on her. That guy is from the jump unequivocally a villain. He is charming to others but in private he is cruel and violent with Amma and we want him gone.

With Damien, however, she’ll frequently find herself in situations where he has to boss her around or tie her up (honestly one of my favorite scenes, it’s so funny) and she realizes she’s actually super into it. And here finally the author really highlights why this is surprising and puzzling to Amma: why is it okay with Damien when it wasn’t before?

And the reason is because by the time Amma has become attracted to Damien, she knows she is safe. She knows, for example, that when he ties her up he’s not really tying her up, she’s not in real danger, but illusion of it is there, and that’s what she finds thrilling. A man actually being controlling and domineering, a man who disregards her boundaries and lack of consent, is terrifying and horrible. A man she knows by this point is actually kind, will not hurt her (…not like that anyway), will not force himself on her, is actually very appealing even (especially) when he’s being a little rough with her.

Damien has the ability to literally force (via magic) Amma to do things but when he does this, it’s a violation. She doesn’t like it at all and the closer they get the less and less he uses it until he stops all together. But if he tells her what to do without the magic word, with her knowing she can refuse without being retaliated against, then it becomes fun and sexy.

Anyway I’ve just never seen an author really do something so deliberate and pointed like this before when it comes to ideas of danger and control in romance! She likes being dominated but in a safe and consensual way and when it’s not those things it’s portrayed as bad and horrible because it is! I love it!!

I recommend these books very much, they are so fun and funny, but I hasten to add that you shouldn’t expect explicit sex. Just as The Circumstance brought them together, it also keeps them arm’s length apart. The tension is real but there’s very little acting on it, though they get close occasionally. Mostly it’s just been a little kissing. I guess it would be classified as a slow burn? But I’m just realizing maybe I don’t know what that means? They haven’t smashed by the beginning of the third book is what I’m getting at, just a little kissing and some PG-13 tension and longing. He did say the word cock and where he’d like to put it at one point.

#deep thoughts