#what a loss it must have been to lose durge

[vonderful-time]

i often think about why enver gortash and the dark urge gravitated towards each other like they did. what drew them together, after their first meeting?

was it the perpetual loneliness, the dangerous monotony of their lives, or even the deep carnal need for a person they could consider equal? was it only because of their mutual connection to the dead three, a power that tied them together only for convenience, a transitional pact made only for the end goal of batrayal? was gortash the one to initiate their first meeting, or did the dark urge slink his way into a young dukes quarters, intent on finding a new mark but instead finding opportunity?

did they quarrel, or did they have a mutual understanding, spurned on by their initial attraction to each other? was it an attraction of the body, or one of the mind — nay, the soul — that made them twist and warp themselves into shapes that only slot together?

i wonder how enver gortash felt when the clock ticked midnight and the dark urge, never prompt but never late, failed to show up. i wondered if he searched for his partner in crime, his closest confidante, before orin revealed her act. i wonder if he thought about abandoning the plan he and his bhaalspawn made together, only to pull himself together when he felt the push of the tyrants black hand on his back, forcing him to kneel.

i contemplate the nature of their relationship — their true genuine relationship, behind any facade or expectation — and if either one of them felt the loss of it in the days after the dark urges disappearance.

i like to think enver gortash mourned. i like to think that if the dark urge remembered, they would have raged. yet, there is no happy ending for these two, no matter the path the player chooses.

instead, there is only a “what could have been” and a series of questions to ponder.

#vonderful rambling #thinking about them #what a loss it must have been to lose durge #what a tragedy to lose yourself and the only person you ever truly admired #durgetash #enver gortash x dark urge #durge #the dark urge #enver gortash #bg3

[crossdressingdeath]

Kyvir: I think I might be sick beyond the tadpole... I'm getting worried. Halsin: Everything in your mind has been destroyed, from what I gathered. And from the path I see you on, you are doing well at picking up the pieces. I am here to be your ear, as you bear your burdens, and the arms that protect you, if you can shoulder them no more. I believe you when you tell me that your symptoms do not wholly align with the makings of the parasite. But until we remove it, I doubt we will be able to isolate the rest of your troubles. Kyvir: Blackouts, fainting spells. I'm losing new memories every day... Halsin: The Oak Father must have blessed you to make it this far, or another eye above. If I had my fleet of druids and a month of hard research, perhaps I could help. But I'm no savant, for now I can only guarantee a cure for ceremorphosis.

Thank you Halsin for being the only one who recognizes that Durge's situation is in fact extremely serious. Like, the memory loss, headaches and violent impulses are bad enough, but the dialogue keeps mentioning that they also get blackouts and fainting spells and like... gang. This is actually really serious? It's a big deal that Durge has fainting spells and blackouts on top of everything else going on. This is a problem. (Also I would like ten thousand fics about Durge's fainting spells please and thank you.)

But at the same time Halsin's right that there's not much to be done about this. He's wrong about why there's not much to be done, but... yeah, whether the fainting spells and blackouts are being caused by the brain damage or the Urge or an insufficient amount of murder being committed or what, the party's in no state to fix it even if it can be fixed.

#bg3 #durge #halsin