#where’s the justice in me forcing myself to watch bigoted videos at the age of 14 so i wouldn’t be caught off guard or shocked when harassed

[merriclo]

ahsjkds rant/vent in the tags

#i fucking LOVE having to hug my friend as they sob bc our rights r actively being revoked #i’m literally 16 years old. i don’t even have my permit yet. #it shouldn’t be up to us kids. i shouldn’t have to tell them that we’ll fix it and make it all ok one day #it’s not that fucking hard to let trans people exist. it’s really not. #and yet #i just. ughajdnfjkw #they were sobbing. and all i could do was promise that i’d try and fix it. #i’m pissed and tired and upset and all i can do about it is hope that my emails and club speeches actually do something while i wait #there are wonderful adults who are fighting for us and i cherish them greatly #but that doesnt change the fact that the government - the very people i was raised to believe we’re there to protect me - is actively #passing laws in favor of my suicide. #and the only thing i can do about it in the meantime is comfort my friends and hope they give my email the light of day #it’ll be okay. we can fix this and save our community. i know we can. #i just wish this wasn’t something we have to do in the first place #this is gonna sound indelicate but i wish i still flinched when getting called a faggot #i’m not sure if this makes sense but it feels like i lost something when i started teaching myself to remain neutral in the face of bigotry #i want to be mad and upset but instead i’m carefully crafting how im perceived and judged at every moment #where’s the justice in me forcing myself to watch bigoted videos at the age of 14 so i wouldn’t be caught off guard or shocked when harassed #tell me where the fuck the justice is in that. #sorry for all this rambling i’m just upset