#whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what? #deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why? #some sense of 'honour'? #I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey! #this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat. #I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little. #again #PERSONALLY

[fruitcoops]

hiii i've just spent the last 36-48 hours reading your works and oh dear do i lOVE your writing and this universe :') . i dont know if you are taking requests but i think it would be kinda interesting (and low key hilarious) if you would write the lions reacting/reading thirst tweets? idk if this is a dumb idea or not but just like some of them reacting to them and going "well i'm actually gay/married so.. no!.. but thank you!"

Part two of the six-month celebration, everyone! Thank you thank you THANK YOU to everyone who submitted comments--I had over 60 come in, and while I couldn’t include them all, reading them was a true joy. The Lion Pride channel was something I started writing on a whim; I never expected it to grow like this <3 Much love to all of you!

TW for alcohol mentions and thirst tweets (nothing explicit)

“Why do I always fear for my life around you?” Sirius asked as Marlene settled into a cushy chair to the side of their table.

She smiled, catlike, and crossed her legs primly. “Because only Finn appreciates me.”

“That’s just the Aries connection, Cap,” Finn said with a smug grin.

“We’re both Leos, Harzy.”

“Eh, close enough.”

Remus raised an eyebrow at her. “You should probably start asking questions before this devolves further, Marley. He’s gonna keep digging himself a hole and we won’t get anything done.”

Marlene’s smile returned with a vengeance. “That’s where you’re wrong, Loops! We’re not doing any questions at all today.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Read it and weep.” She tossed a small posterboard at him like a frisbee; he caught it, barely, though both Talker and Sirius had to duck out of the way. Marlene faced the camera and winked. “Welcome back to Lion Pride, everyone! Today I’m here with Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Thomas Walker, and our wonderful cubs to react to your comments on our videos!”

“Bet you thought we’d never see ‘em, huh?” James asked.

“The comments fall into four categories: thirsty, funny, mean, and sweet. I will be reading two of those groups, and my lovely fiancée will be reading the others because she is the human embodiment of sunshine.”

“If you make Dorcas read the mean ones, I’ll be sad,” Leo laughed.

Marlene gave him a look of disbelief. “You think I’m passing up a chance to roast you guys? Puh-lease. We’re starting off strong with some thirsty, thirsty comments! Loops, you’re up first.”

“This is going to be fun,” Sirius said, leaning back in his chair.

She cleared her throat, then turned a smoldering look on their table. “I didn’t know I had a freckle kink, but then Remus Lupin appeared and now here we are.”

“Oh, shit,” Remus muttered, covering his face with his hands as the others howled with laughter.

“Lupin has been looking sexy as hell on the bench for years now. I'm so glad people are simping over him like he deserves,” Marlene read. “And there’s a little heart emoji, just for you.”

“This is every one of my nightmares come to life,” Remus said, though his voice was muffled by his forearms.

James lifted his glasses to swipe away the tears of mirth that had gathered in his eyes. “Are you kidding? This is everything I have ever wanted.”

“Y’know, it is so good to see people drooling over this hot piece of ass at last,” Finn sighed, reaching over to ruffle Remus’ hair as his face turned bright red.

“One more, and it’s a good one,” Marlene warned. She licked her lips, then had to take a moment to laugh before speaking. “I feel like Remus Lupin is the type of guy to bake you muffins—”

“Accurate,” Leo said.

“—but is also a kinky motherfucker.”

Remus’ mouth dropped open as the table erupted into cheering. Logan pumped both fists in the air and Sirius was laughing so hard no sound came out; Talker sank so low in his chair that only his head and shoulders were visible as he applauded.

“Why do people comment these things?” Remus asked, barely above a whisper. “Holy fuck, I’m engaged!”

“Speaking of…” Marlene raised her eyebrows and Sirius smile drooped.

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes. Buckle up, Cap!” She rolled her shoulders out. “Get someone who looks at you the way Sirius Black looks at a hockey puck.”

Remus snorted; James’ laugh was so short and sharp that it set everyone else off as well. “That sounds like I have a hockey puck fetish!” Sirius complained. “Which is so, so not true!”

Finn made an ‘ehh’ noise, and he leaned around Remus to smack the back of his head. “Hey!”

“Next one!” Marlene announced. “Sirius Black was my bi awakening.”

A beat of silence passed. “Is that it?” Sirius ventured, looking nervous.

“Yep.”

“Aw, man, that one’s lame,” Talker said, shaking his head. “Everyone thinks Cap is a little hot.”

Remus shot him a look. “A little?”

“Fair. Marley, I dare you to find one person who wouldn’t tap that.”

She rolled her eyes. “Me, though that dovetails nicely into the last one for our lovely captain. Ahem. I understand why Remus is with Sirius: he's hot as hell and rich, I'd hit that too.”

“Oh, fuck, you’re right,” Leo gasped. “Why didn’t I think of that?”

Finn and Logan turned to him in unison with a mix of disbelief and offense written all over their faces. “Dude.”

“First of all, Leo, you found yourself two hot rich boys,” Remus interrupted. “Second, that comment is forgetting that he’s funny, and smart, and nice, and—”

Seconds after the initial cover, Sirius took his hand off Remus’ mouth as if he’d been burned. “Did you just lick me?”

“Moving on! This is in all caps, so be prepared.” Marlene shuffled through her posterboards and turned to Leo with an ominous smile. He glanced toward the camera in mild fear. “What does a person have to do to get some hockey player ass?! Like why is Leo Knut so fine?!”

“Amen!” Logan called as Leo blushed.

“According to six of the seven people at this table, the answer to that first question is to be a hockey player,” Talker laughed. “The world may never know the answer to the second, sadly.”

“Lily could play hockey,” James said, resting his chin on his hand. Every single one of the others rolled their eyes. “She could! She’d be so good at it, too.”

“We know,” Finn groaned. “You only mention it every other day.”

“Speaking of the lovely Mrs. Potter,” Marlene began with a sly look as she held up a new card. “Do James and Lily Potter need a third? Asking for me specifically.”

James paused, dumbstruck, while the others drummed their hands on the table. “…no?”

A general sigh of disappointment went up. “I was really hoping he’d say yes,” Leo said.

“Ask Lily next time,” Remus recommended.

James turned to him and blinked slowly. “What are you insinuating, Loops?”

“Oh, nothing.”

“Don’t worry, James, you’ll like this one,” Marlene assured him. “James Potter is the ultimate dilf.”

“You’re damn right I am!” James whooped. “Vindication, bitches!”

“Marley, what have you done?” Talker whispered. “He’ll never shut up about that, now.”

“Oh, never,” James all but cackled. “I’m officially a dilf, you guys!”

“I hate you,” Sirius groaned.

“Tremzy, are you ready? We’ve got a couple very special ones for you,” Marlene said.

“Anything to get us out of this hell,” Logan begged.

“In that case: Logan Tremblay’s ass is better than Sidney Crosby’s. I said what I said.”

A pleased flush rose to his cheeks as Finn and Leo high-fived over his head. “Really? Thank you!”

“And they would be correct!” Finn announced. “Best ass in the league.”

“Come on,” Remus scoffed, though he was smiling.

Marlene cleared her throat to get their attention. “I don’t think I can legally read this on air without being censored or getting the video taken down, but…”

She turned the board around; all seven of them leaned forward to read it, then slowly looked at Logan, who turned vivid red. “Mon dieu. Is that—someone commented that on a video? Like, for people to see?”

“I feel like I need to bleach my eyes,” Sirius said just as Finn began shaking with silent laughter.

Leo’s face fell. “You wrote that, didn’t you?”

“I did,” Finn wheezed, scooting forward to fist-bump Marlene. “We wanted to see what you guys would say. Fuckin’ hell, your faces.”

“Alright, Talkie, are you ready?” Marlene asked around her laughter. “Seeing Thomas Walker with a baby makes me want to have his babies…please hit me up.”

He held up his index finger and took a second to laugh before responding. “If that’s Noelle, yes. If that’s anyone else, I’m flattered, but absolutely not.”

Logan made a face. “Ew.”

“We have two more,” Marlene warned. “For some very special people that aren’t here today, but I think you’ll like them anyway.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes. “I don’t trust the look on your face.”

“Daddy Dumo makes me swoon.”

A muddle of horrified noises echoed through the studio as all seven of them cringed. “Oh, my god, that’s my dad!” Logan yelped, covering his ears. Sirius looked vaguely ill and Remus’ shoulders crept toward his ears; James shuddered.

“The worst part is, we all know he can get it,” Finn said with a grimace. “God, I feel like I just heard someone talking about my parents having sex.”

“I’m sure he’ll love to hear that,” Marlene laughed. “Last one, from one of our truth or drinks.”

Remus went pale half a second too late. “N—”

“Hope Lupin is a milf.”

A broken noise escaped his mouth and he clamped his hand over it while Talker rubbed his back in sympathy. Sirius shook his head. “Somehow, that’s worse than Dumo’s.”

“Whoever sent that in, show some respect!” Leo said indignantly as Remus bonked his forehead against the table. “Hope Lupin is a lovely woman!”

“I think they noticed that particular fact,” Marlene pointed out, earning herself several scandalized shouts of her name and a whine from Remus. “That’s all we have for thirst comments! Are you ready for some funny ones?”

“Anything,” Remus pleaded. “I am begging you, anything else.”

Marlene shook her head as she stood, still smiling, and kissed Dorcas on the cheek when she entered the frame. “Go for it, love.”

“Dorcas!” they all cheered, lighting up immediately.

“Hey, guys, it’s been a while!” She curled up in Marlene’s vacant spot and took her own posterboards out from underneath the seat. “Alright, let’s rock and roll. Pascal Dumais is the team dad and nothing will change my mind, and Tremzy is the annoying youngest child.”

“That is so accurate,” Sirius laughed, leaning just out of range of Logan’s playful punch. “Whoever commented that has no idea how right they are.”

“We’ve got a whole sibling dynamic thing going on,” Talker agreed. “Tremzy’s the baby of the family, Cap is the quietly chaotic middle child, and Pots is the older brother that starts shit and inevitably gets blamed for however out-of-control it gets.”

Dorcas nodded. “You are one hundred percent correct. In a similar vein: Pots was the dad jokes friend before he was even a dad.”

“Painfully so,” Leo confirmed, shaking his head as they all groaned in agreement. James looked rather smug about the whole thing. “So many puns.”

“Oh, you’ll like this one,” Dorcas mused as she drew a new card. “If Tremzy looked directly into my eyes for even two seconds, all of my problems would be solved. I am sure of it.”

“Yes,” Finn and Leo said in unison.

“It’s something about the eyes, I think,” James added. “They just stand out so much that it’s a little startling straight-on.”

Logan looked to the camera and stared at it, unblinking; it zoomed in slightly on his face. “Everything will be fine,” he said with mock solemnity. “Your problems are solved.”

“Well, that was terrifying,” Sirius said drily. “Got any more for us, Ms. Meadowes?”

“Of course I do! We’ve got quite a few for Loops and Leo.” She took a sip of her water before getting comfortable again. “My favorite thing about these videos is that we can all see Loops get steadily buffer as the season goes on. Good for you, king!”

“Flex! Flex! Flex!” the six of them chanted; Remus rolled his eyes, but slid his sweater sleeve to his elbow and flexed his forearm, resulting in enough hoots and hollers that they could probably be heard a block away. Talker fake-swooned into Leo’s arms and Remus lightly whacked him on the shoulder.

“Remus Lupin looks like he has squishable cheeks,” Dorcas read aloud.

“He does!” James cooed, scooting over and reaching out.

Remus narrowed his eyes. “I swear to god I’ll bite you.”

Sirius cupped his face between his palms and kissed his nose, then pinched both his cheeks gently. “Ta-da!”

“How many of these do we have?” Remus asked, though his voice was a bit muffled by Sirius’ hands.

“Just one more for you, and it’s my personal favorite.” Dorcas assured him. “I love how the team probably had no impulse control until Loops joined.”

Sirius let go of his face and dissolved into laughter as Finn nearly fell on the floor. “Oh my—you think he has impulse control?” Talker slapped the edge of the table as he shook his head. “Absolutely not. Hell no, Loops is the first person to do stupid shit with us.”

“Yeah, I just don’t get caught,” Remus added around his own laughter. “Everyone thinks I’m such a hardass goody-two-shoes and it lets me get away with so much more than you delinquents.”

“Speaking of delinquents,” Dorcas continued. “This one is from our ‘Taste Testing Sexy Alcohol’ video: ah, yes, now I know how to do a body shot. 10/10, very educational video.”

“Do not take educational advice from us,” Finn blurted instantly. “I know this is a joke, but please exercise caution. That video was a ton of fun but a nightmare to recover from.”

Sirius winced at the memory. “I took two naps and then wished for death for a full day.”

“On a lighter note, who’s ready for some Knutty appreciation?” Dorcas smiled at her cards. “I've only had Leo Knut for a season and half, but if anything happened to him, I would kill everyone in this room and then myself.”

“Big mood,” four of them said simultaneously.

Leo turned to the camera with a concerned look on his face. “That’s a meme reference, but are y’all okay?”

“No,” Dorcas answered. “Especially not this next person: Sometimes I do something productive and then I remember @LeoKnut is a 19 year old professional athlete who radiates happiness and with two of the hottest boyfriends the good lord has made, and then my bowl of packaged ramen seems less impressive.”

“I’m proud of your ramen,” Leo said, even as the corners of his mouth twitched in a smile. “And I appreciate the note about my boyfriends, because they are definitely the hottest people the good lord has made.”

Talker stuck his lip out in a pout. “Rude.”

“Sorry, Talkie, I’m biased.”

“Last one before Marlene comes back, so you’d better enjoy it!” Dorcas announced. “Did the Lions effectively utilize girl power when they wrecked toxic masculinity, yes or yes?”

“Can we utilize girl power?” Remus wondered, resting his shin on his hand. “Isn’t that exclusively for, y’know, women?”

“We can utilize himbo power,” Finn suggested.

James gave him an offended look. “Not all of us are himbos!”

“Okay, but you definitely are.”

“I am not!” James held up his fingers to count. “There are only, like, three qualifications, right? I might be strong, hot, and respectful, but I’m not dumb so it doesn’t count!”

“Pots,” Remus said quietly, hiding his smile for half a second. “Buddy, that was four things.”

James paused, then sighed in resignation. “Ah, fuck, I’m a himbo.”

“You really are.”

“At least we don’t promote toxic masculinity.”

They raised their waterbottles in a ‘cheers’ motion as Marlene and Dorcas switched spots; Marlene stretched her arms over her head and grabbed the new boards. “I’m back, beloved himbos. Talker, Leo, you are beloved by the people and have no mean comments. Cap, we’re starting with you.”

“Are they actually mean mean?” he asked.

“Sirius Black seems like a little bitch. Not in a bad way, necessarily. He just. Seems like he'd be a little bitch."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Oh, okay. That answers one question.”

“He’s not a little bitch,” Leo said. “Pouty on occasion, but not a little bitch.”

Remus gave him a long look, then shook his head. “Yeah, I mean, you teared up a little when Hattie got a splinter in her paw but didn’t even yell when you almost sliced your finger off while making dinner.”

“Duality of man,” Finn said sagely.

Marlene cocked an eyebrow. “Finn O’Hara’s hair kind of reminds me of Garfield the Cat.”

“Alright, that’s just rude.”

“It does not!” Logan gasped at the same time Leo made a noise of agreement.

Finn turned to him in utter betrayal. “Nutter Butter, I thought you liked my hair!”

“I do!” Leo defended. “But they’re not entirely wrong. It’s very orange in the sun.”

“I’m never going to forget that,” Finn muttered, staring at the floor.

“Ugh, it bothers me so much that Lupin just objectifies Black all the time!” Marlene read in a high-pitched, nasal voice. “No respect in that relationship!”

Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Pardon?”

Marlene stared at it for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah, I have no idea what videos they were watching. Do you feel objectified in your relationship, Cap? I know the opinion of total strangers really bothers you a lot.”

“I’m really glad you picked up on that,” he said with false gravity. “Yeah, it’s such a bummer when my hot fiancé says I look nice. Such a blow to my self-esteem.”

“That was supposed to be a roast against me,” Remus said, looking amused. “Talk about backfiring.”

“Are you ready, Pots? This one’s pretty brutal,” Marlene warned. James nodded and Finn linked their hands for moral support. “James Potter is a swiftie and you cannot tell me otherwise.”

He furrowed his eyebrows. “…yeah? That’s true? T Swift is a regular occurrence on the locker room playlist.”

“Also, James Potter looks like someone who would think black pepper was spicy.”

“Now that one is mean,” he complained as the others burst out laughing.  “It’s not my fault I have sensitive taste buds!”

“Oh, honey,” she said under her breath as she took a new card. “Get ready, Tremzy. This first one is short and sweet: Logan Tremblay looks like a lesbian.”

“That is not an insult,” Logan laughed. “Every lesbian I know is rad as fuck. I wish I looked that good in a leather jacket.”

“I just realized Logan doesn’t look short cause he’s next to bunch of hockey players, he’s short cause he’s 5’9.”

The smile slipped off his face in a millisecond as the others roared with laughter. “Quoi?”

“Oh, she got you good,” Sirius gasped, patting his shoulder clumsily. “Holy fuck, can I frame that?”

“That’s not what it says.” An edge of distress appeared in Logan’s voice. “Marley, that’s not what it says.”

James sat on the floor with the heels of his palms pressed against his eyes. “You’re fucking—whoever sent that in, you are my new favorite person. Jesus.”

“Do you need a second to recover before we move on?” Dorcas asked as she draped her arms over the back of Marlene’s chair. “The next one is our biggest section by far.”

“It’s the sweet ones, yeah?” Leo asked.

“Right.”

“It might be a good idea to do those before Lo spontaneously combusts.”

“Agreed!” She swapped with Marlene and hauled a short stack of posterboards out from their hiding place with a smile. “A hug from Dumo can probably solve any issue.”

“Facts,” Logan said. “I could really use one right about now, too.”

“Has anyone noticed how blue Leo Knut’s eyes are?”

“Yes,” the six of them chorused.

Finn gave him a dreamy look. “Every single day.”

“When I first read this one, I thought I wrote it,” Dorcas said with a snort. “Someone give Marlene a raise. No reason why, I just love her.”

“Can we do that?” Sirius asked, looking toward the camera crew. “Can we lobby to give you guys raises? Because you definitely deserve it after all the bullshit you deal with to make these videos watchable, and Marlene, you’ve drawn the short end of the stick ninety percent of the time.”

“How?” she called off-screen.

“You have to actually talk to us and try to get answers.”

“Fair.”

Dorcas finished scribbling something down on her notepad. “Just making a note of this conversation for future reference. Moving on! Sirius Black and James Potter are a prime example of hockey husbands, and I adore them.”

“The ironic part of that is that we’re both in committed relationships, but we’re basically married,” James mused.

Remus shook his head. “You guys are so married. Lily wanted to get you matching rings for your birthday, Pots.”

“That would be so cool!” they said in perfect unison. Remus turned to the camera and spread his hands in a case in point motion.

Dorcas stifled her laughter before moving on. “This one is cute. Give Remus Lupin all the hugs! I feel like I could tell him he’s an inspiration and he’d be so nice about it—” She paused to glance up at them. “—this next bit is in parentheses: all the LGBT Lions give me that vibe, but Cap and Knutty are super intimidating so I wouldn’t have the guts.”

Leo’s face fell and Sirius’ eyebrows pitched. “I’m not intimidating!” Leo protested. “I thought we already went over that! Loops gives fantastic hugs, but I want some, too.”

“He definitely deserves all the hugs in the world, but I promise I’m nice,” Sirius said, a bit softer than usual. “Is it because we’re tall?”

Dorcas half-shrugged. “Probably. It’s a little startling at first. Oh, I could’ve written this one, too: The Venn diagram of men I trust and the Gryffindor Lions is a full circle.”

Talker beamed at the camera. “Thank you!”

“So many hockey guys are such douchebags,” Logan said with a shake of his head. “I’m really glad we don’t do that shit.”

“Me, too.” Dorcas slid her old card under her chair. “Sirius Black’s hair looks so soft and I just want to touch it so bad.”

“It is so soft,” Remus agreed immediately. “You have no idea.”

“Everyone wants to touch Cap’s hair,” Finn said, sighing. “It’s so majestic.”

“I need a haircut.”

“No, you don’t,” Remus said as he tugged a stray curl. Sirius hummed.

“This one is from the interview some you did with Jules and Katie: these hockey boys being so soft with kids is my aesthetic! Like, it’s just so adorable to see these big, intimidating dudes be so, so sweet! Love them all!” She turned the card for them to see. “And then they added a heart at the end.”

“It’s impossible to be around those kids and not be happy,” James said. “They’re just too cute and wonderful.”

“Yeah, I love kids.” Finn nodded. “Especially the Dumais and Jules. They’re a hoot.”

“Jules would die if he heard you say that,” Remus laughed. “The hero worship is still going strong with most of you.”

“This one made me laugh when I first read it, but it’s really sweet,” Dorcas informed them. “Anyone else feel like we were deceived these past five years into thinking Cap was this hard-ass man, when in reality he's a cuddle bug who definitely captures and releases spiders instead of squishing them?”

“You weren’t deceived, I was just closeted,” Sirius said. “Also, I absolutely squish spiders.”

Remus gave him a look. “No, you do not. That’s my job. I’m the catch and release person if I can get away with it.”

James shook his head. “The third week of practices you saw a spider and threw me at it.”

“You did what?” Finn asked.

“There was a spider in my stall,” Sirius sighed, looking as if he would rather be anywhere else. “And Pots and I were talking so I didn’t see it until I almost sat on it, and my brain decided the only logical thing to do would be to grab him and shove him toward the spider.”

“That was after you shrieked,” Talker added. “Like, literally shrieked. I’ve never heard anyone make a noise like that.”

“Alright, alright,” Sirius grumbled. “We get it, I don’t like spiders.”

Remus shrugged. “But you are a cuddle bug. They got that part right.”

“We’re in the final two!” Dorcas announced. “This one has some pictures to go with it, so it’s on my phone. Fuck Romeo and Juliet, I want what these bitches have.”

“It’s us!” Leo cooed as the phone made its way down the line. In the upper corner of the screen, the photo appeared—it had been taken in New York, and Logan’s whole face was alight with happiness as Leo and Finn each pressed a kiss to his cheek. The camera caught him mid-laugh, so his eyes were closed and his chin was tucked slightly into Finn’s Strand hoodie.

“That’s my screensaver,” Finn said with a grin, pulling his phone out and turning it toward the camera without moving away from Leo. “One of my favorites.”

“I forgot you took that one,” Logan murmured. He hooked his chin over Leo’s shoulder and kissed his cheek; the four others at the table gave soft are you seeing this? looks to the camera and Dorcas smiled.

“Pots, I think yours is next. I hate to break it to you, Talkie, but they didn’t get any of you and Noelle.”

“We don’t take a ton of pictures together,” Talker said as James took the phone. “I mean, we take a bunch of selfies, but we don’t live close enough to each other to actually post that often. What picture is it, J?”

James was staring down at the picture with an unbearably sweet expression. “It’s our wedding. That’s my favorite one, actually.”

Like Logan, they had been captured while laughing—Lily was bent slightly at the waist as James clapped, his glasses just as askew as the flower crown on her head. It was impossible to tell who had told the joke originally, but they were both radiant in the sunset.

“That’s a really good one,” Sirius said with an unreadable look on his face.

“Well, well, well, fancypants, you two got a video.” James wiggled his eyebrows and Remus leaned in to see.

“What kind of video? One of our tikt—oh. Oh, this is so cute.” He shifted his chair over as the short edit began to play. “D, who made this?”

“A fan.”

“It’s really impressive,” Sirius said without taking his eyes off the screen. The edit was a series of photos, both on and off the ice; Sirius knocking their helmets together, then Remus looking back over his shoulder, then both of them in the water playing chicken in the sun. It was a slideshow of their life and their love.

“Can you send that to me?” Remus asked when it was over. “Cause that’s super cool.”

“Sure thing. Are you guys ready for the last one?” When they all nodded, she drummed her fingers on the posterboard and cleared her throat. “Arthur appreciation hours. He deserves it after managing to control the team.”

A cheer went up—all seven stood and applauded, half-laughing and half-whooping. “Miracle worker!” Sirius called.

“Best coach in the league!” Finn added.

“Most tolerant man to ever walk the earth!” Remus raised his water in a toast and they tapped the plastic edges together, nearly spilling all over the table.

Dorcas’ eyes crinkled in a smile as she turned to the camera. “That’s it for today, Lions! Tune in next time for more content of our boys, and thank you for such wonderful comments!”

[its-love-u-asshole]

Let My Love [Ch. 3]

Pairings: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei

Summary: For Kuroo, finding love was all about patience. He had no problem with waiting for the right person to come along, no matter how many awkward dinners or weddings he had to endure as a single man until they did. Regardless, meeting Tsukishima was something he’d never been prepared for. The feelings were overwhelming and intoxicating, ones he was sure he’d do anything for. However, it seemed his endless waiting wasn’t over.

Rating: T

Warnings: none

Note: Yay, I managed to update lol. I’m not sure when that’ll happen again because I have quite a few other projects to get done for some events, but I’ll definitely be continuing this story further ^^ I’m excited to post this chapter too so ;) Big thanks to @emeraldwaves for reading this over! Also, idk if anyone would be interested but I made an 8tracks to accompany the fic, so enjoy that if you want ^^ Thanks for reading!

AO3

8tracks

"I have a boyfriend."

Those words had been harder to deal with than Kuroo had expected.

They were walking out of the library as it closed, having been the only two remaining occupants aside from a few study groups. The chill outside was more biting than he had thought, and he cursed himself for not wearing thicker layers like Tsukishima had.

The blond was as beautiful as ever, wrapped in a black wool trench coat with his cheeks tinted red from the cold. They walked down the library steps in a cozy silence, their voices too hoarse from all the talking they'd managed to do as the rows got less and less busy.

It had been nothing short of a perfect day in Kuroo's mind. Ever since they'd had their talk about friendship a few days prior, things had been going smoothly. The sense of longing stayed buried within Kuroo of course, but he pushed it down whenever it chose to bubble up.

Yeah, everything was fine. Despite the chill, the night was nice, and Kuroo couldn't stop himself from dreading their separation.

And well, he figured it was normal for friends to hang out outside of work, so he'd had no trouble inviting the blond out for a drink.

"I can't today," Tsukishima replied, his hands tightening around his coat collar as the wind ripped past. "I'm meeting my boyfriend for dinner."

And as stupid as it sounded, and as much as he wished it hadn't, Kuroo's world stopped. Another gust tore through the air, thankfully disrupting the awkward silence building between them. Kuroo could only hope it had masked the choked noise he'd made in the back of his throat.

It was a new sensation, having his gut twist and squirm, and all the while his heart struggled to continue beating, his body warring to stay alive even when his soul echoed hopelessness, willing it to give up.

Kuroo's mouth opened, ready to laugh it off or dismiss himself casually, but nothing came out, and the winds continued.

He had no one to blame but himself for making things so tense. He should've known all along. The reason Tsukishima had acted so guarded, the logic behind their shaky agreement...

A boyfriend. So simple, so damaging, and yet Kuroo didn't blame Tsukishima for anything. The blond had never led him on, and he was free to be with whoever he wanted. Kuroo's whims were none of the Tsukishima’s concern beyond a certain level, but Kuroo's heart was still being crushed in a hydraulic press from all this, so there was that.

Kuroo felt their connection more than he liked to admit, and he could do one of two things. If he chose the first option, and spoke on his feelings, laid himself bare...he might lose a friend who he knew understood him. This was someone special, someone he could see being close to for years to come. Then of course there was the off chance Tsukishima felt the same way, and then they'd have to navigate the boyfriend issue together, but Kuroo didn't see that outcome being very probable.

Tsukishima liked him sure, whether it be in a platonic way or otherwise, but the blond hardly seemed to be a believer in love at first sight, or in pursuing any kind of relationship with a stranger.

And besides, if this guy...whoever he was, made Tsukishima happy...

Kuroo would never stand in the way of that. The realization was more jarring than he would've predicted, colder than the frost lining the windows of nearby parked cars. It traveled up his spine, calmed his stomach, and eased his mind. So truthfully, only one option was the best choice here.

Kuroo ignored the way his heart continued to protest.

He closed his mouth, his smile soft as they stood in the middle of the sidewalk. Tsukishima was staring at him with those big, honey brown eyes, analyzing him, waiting for a reaction of some kind. That in itself made Kuroo want to laugh. If Tsukishima truly didn't doubt Kuroo's platonic feelings, there would be no reason to search for a reaction. It almost betrayed the casual indifference with which Tsukshima had spoken. Which meant...well...Tsukishima was smart, observant. Part of him had to know.

Goes to show I guess...

Kuroo wasn't as adept at lying to himself as he'd thought.

Kuroo laughed, stuffing his hands into his pockets. There was one thing he wanted to know, and he'd be fine. "Is he a good guy?"

The question seemed to catch the blond slightly off guard, and his eyes widened a good fraction for only a second, but Kuroo caught it. He was discovering he was rather skilled at it, tracking Tsukishima's reactions. But then the blond's posture relaxed, his gaze turning to the dark, lamp lit street.

Tsukishima exhaled at a turtle's pace, his eyes dropping like he was falling asleep, and Kuroo felt the first pang of jealousy he'd ever experienced. He knew the blond's answer already, from that expression alone.

Tsukishima radiated peace, comfort.

Kuroo was so screwed.

The blond finally turned back, nodding once. "Yeah, he is. We...it's new still, but it's fine."

Kuroo breathed out, not realizing his lungs had been pleading for sweet oxygen, and smiled again. Well then, case closed.

"I'm glad, you'll have to introduce me sometime yeah?" Kuroo offered as his legs regained their ability to move again, and he began to walk towards the direction of his apartment, knowing tonight would be a night without sleep.

Tsukishima pulled his scarf around his mouth, an almost thankful emotion flashing in his beautiful eyes, one Kuroo couldn't handle.

"Mm, he'd like that."

And with the words dying in the wind like a whisper, they went their separate ways, and Kuroo wondered if the air had actually gotten colder, or if it had just been him.

Despite it though, he knew he'd made the right decision, and for a tiny moment, his heart felt warm once again.

--

Kuroo couldn't remember the last time a month went by this quick, as if it meant nothing to the world. Tsukishima made it easy.

Tsukishima, with his dry sense of humor and in depth knowledge of the weirdest subjects (dinosaurs? really?).

Tsukishima, who didn't drink coffee unless it had buckets of sugar poured into it.

Tsukishima, who snorted when he laughed too hard.

Just Tsukishima.

It was their routine almost. Meet at the library at eight, have some coffee, and then go their own ways. Kuroo hardly did any of this work at home anymore, choosing to bring it to the library while Tsukishima ran through his own daily responsibilities. Kuroo liked to think it was this way because it helped his productivity. The library is better than home, he would think. Yeah, way less distractions.

But deep inside he had to know, and swallowing down that knowledge with his stale cold brew in the morning was becoming a constant in his life.

At the thought, Kuroo looked up from where his pen had been frozen mid-sentence in his notebook, catching sight of Tsukishima as he checked out a few books at the front desk. The lady he was serving seemed to be talking his ear off, a bit too loud for a library setting, and a lot of people around Kuroo started throwing barely concealed looks of annoyance her way.

As if feeling Kuroo's gaze, Tsukishima turned towards his table, sharing the most 'kill me please' expression he'd ever seen.

It got a muffled laugh out of Kuroo, seeing those calm eyes exaggerate with disdain, and it made it more rewarding when Tsukishima moved to hide his own smile in his hand.

Kuroo caught it though. He always caught it. If he thought he was skilled before, he was an absolute expert now.

And then for what felt like the twelfth time that day, probably the thousandth time that week, Kuroo felt like he'd been doused with cold water.

Bad Tetsurou, bad.

"Shit," he whispered to himself as he slouched back into his chair. The fading sunlight from outside hit his face through the window, but he stayed and welcomed the burn. He deserved it.

Ugh, now you're just being emo.

It was nearing closing time he realized, but he hadn't gotten as much done as he usually did. Several things ate away at his brain, and as much as he'd managed to ignore those thoughts for a good month, lately they wouldn't leave him alone.

It probably had something to do with the damn lake trip, knowing he'd soon be swamped with questions about when he'd get a damn date. All the while, here was Tsukishima, someone who Kuroo knew was absolutely perfect for him and--

Kuroo grunted to himself, almost scolding. No. Nope.

None of that mattered. Tsukishima had a boyfriend. He and Tsukishima were friends, only friends. And he was happy like that, he didn't have to jeopardize what he had because of these feelings. If they got any worse or became harder to control, then of course he would deal with it. Maybe distance himself if he had to...

But until then, he was a grown ass man, and he'd refrain from inviting Tsukishima to his little family reunion because of a small crush. It would be too soon anyways, even if they were interested in each other that way.

Plus...

There was one thing in particular which wouldn't stop nagging at him, which prevented him from inviting Tsukishima anywhere really. The thing was...

He and Tsukishima got along great, amazing even. The blond was so easy to talk to that Kuroo had to refrain himself from oversharing quite a lot. They'd learned a lot about each other in the past few weeks. Favorite music, food, movies, stuff about their jobs, some family issues, where they went to school...

Apparently, Tsukishima loved aquariums and history museums. He slept with the lights dimmed, never off completely. He snoozed his alarm about four times every morning. He'd never been bowling. He loved cooking because following a recipe was calming for him. He lost it over fancy kitchen appliances.

All that and so much more, they were all facts Kuroo couldn't help but cherish. Basically, if Kuroo had to buy Tsukishima a birthday present, he'd be an expert. He'd found out so much, but...

But Tsukishima never stopped acting a least a little guarded. Kuroo could see it in the way he'd flinch when he'd admit something too personal, or the way he'd backpedal after already telling Kuroo some intimate detail about his life.

Frequent shrugs, attempts at topic changes, fidgeting...all the signs were there.

In short, Tsukshima was actually pretty shitty about keeping things to himself around Kuroo, but the effort was definitely present, and it pained Kuroo more than it should've.

Kuroo didn't find himself to be particularly intimidating once people got to know him, so the fact Tsukishima felt the need to be on alert could only be justified by one reason.

And it made sense.

Tsukishima had a boyfriend, and as well as he and Kuroo got along, there were always going to be borders and lines there that they shouldn't cross.

Kuroo knew this. He respected it damnit.

But sure, it didn't stop his brain from wishing the barriers were nonexistent.

Kuroo wanted to fling himself into the damn sea.

You're a real inspiration, you know that? Way to go, crushing on your friend, like a jackass.

"If you keep sitting like that, you'll go blind you know," Tsukishima's voice wasn't loud by any means, but it shattered Kuroo's cage of self loathing, every word a breath of fresh air no matter how unimpressed. Why, why did it do that to him? Kuroo had never experienced it with anyone, where just their voice was enough to ease his sorrow, even when said person speaking was part of the problem.

Hell. That's what this is. Hell.

Kuroo bolted up in his chair, his eyes somewhat watering in relief at having been freed of the sun's wrath. Tsukishima sat across from him, arms crossed and expression plain, all but stealing Kuroo's ability to breathe.

"I was testing a science theory," Kuroo responded, his grin forming naturally at the sight of Tsukishima's annoyance.

"A science theory?"

"Precisely."

Tsukishima pursed his lips, and Kuroo had to kick himself so as not to stare. "Really? Because from what you told me, your article was supposed to be on nanowire and--"

"And you say you don't listen to my spiels, I'm touched," Kuroo said while wiping fake tears from his eyes. "Tsukki, you do care."

A magazine hit him square in the face, and Kuroo blanched, mostly because he had no idea how Tsukishima had grabbed the damn thing so fast. "Excuse me sir, that's library property you could've damaged."

Tsukishima shrugged, waving his hand. "No one reads magazines anymore."

"Wow."

He could've taken actual offense, but it got a genuine laugh out of the blond, so Kuroo considered it worth it.

From a couple seats down, a middle aged woman shushed them, and Tsukishima hardly batted an eye. Why Tsukishima had wanted to be a library volunteer, Kuroo never understood. Sure, the blond was polite to people and loved books, but he also hated customer service. In short, he got annoyed fast, and this was simply another example.

Tsukishima didn't turn to face the lady, but rolled his eyes in response.

Kuroo couldn't help but snort, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Is that any way for a volunteer to behave?"

"Please," Tsukishima said, his nose wrinkling in distaste. "She's just upset we're interrupting her daily erotic novel reading. How she keeps finding new ones, I don't know."

Kuroo barked out the ugliest laugh, and the lady promptly moved.

--

"You're not volunteering anymore, why?"

Kuroo's steps were hurried as they left the library for Tsukishima's lunch break. Sadly, Kuroo couldn't return with Tsukishima afterwards, since he needed to turn in his article to the publisher that day, but he was keen on making the most of his time.

The blond never ceased to drop bombs on him though.

Tsukishima shrugged, obviously not as worried as Kuroo. "It just worked out that way. They don't really need me anymore, and my boyfriend wanted me to get some free time, so I went along with it. Friday is my last day."

Friday. Lake trip. Shit.

It didn't exactly have anything to do with Tsukishima, but man did Kuroo need to start packing and making the necessary preparations. It was only a week, but he couldn't forget anything during that time. Funny how the things which were eating at him seemed to line up.

Friday was when he left for the lake house, and it was also Tsukishima's last day at the library.

Great.

Kuroo's shoulders slumped a bit, though he knew he was being childish. Not meeting at the library anymore wouldn't destroy their friendship. Kuroo could call Tsukishima up and meet anytime he wanted, it was no big deal.

Still, it felt like the library was their place, and not having Tsukishima behind the front desk was something Kuroo would definitely miss.

Not that Kuroo could show it though, even that went a little too far past acceptable friendliness.

"Ah well, at least you'll have more time to yourself though," Kuroo said, bumping Tsukishima's shoulder playfully as they walked. "Got any plans with the beau this weekend?"

Tsukishima snorted, and Kuroo pushed his displeasure down. "Yeah, but it's a surprise apparently."

Romantic. Damn this guy.

"Oh? Does he always like to surprise you?" Kuroo asked, keeping his expression as soft as possible. Man, he needed to get over himself.

"Yeah, it's sort of a thing with him, though..."

"You don't care for it," Kuroo spoke without thinking, immediately cursing himself. Shit. Fuck.

Okay, so Kuroo was pretty confident he was right. After all, he knew Tsukishima well, though it had only been a month. They were in sync a lot of the time, and Kuroo was familiar with his character.

But, that wasn't an excuse for acting like he knew everything, like he was better suited for the blond. Ugh.

So, he tried to backpedal. "Uh, I mean--"

"No, you're right," Tsukishima said with a shrug, but Kuroo could see the tips of his ears were red. The blond's voice was barely above a mumble, his eyes stuck glaring at the ground. It was usually what he did when he was about to admit something rather personal, and Kuroo felt honored every time. Even now, even about this.

"It's not preferred, but...I'm told relationships are about compromises or whatever, so..."

So you try. Because underneath all that standoffish attitude, you care.

Kuroo felt his heart both clench painfully and fill with warmth. Tsukishima was full of surprises, there were so many sides to him which Kuroo longed to explore. But more than anything, he admired the blond, and it stung.

Yet, Kuroo was being honest when he said he was happy to have this. He was grateful for Tsukishima, and he was grateful someone was treating him well.

It was what the blond deserved.

"You're right there, still...I hope it's nothing too outrageous," Kuroo said, and they both laughed.

"He doesn't know how to be anything but, trust me," Tsukishima said with a fond roll of his eyes, and Kuroo chuckled once more as he opened the cafe's entrance for Tsukishima to step through.

Kuroo's fears of their friendship fading away were still there, but less so. He was confident they'd keep this, and either way, he could worry about it after he conquered the battle of his lake trip reunion.

He left it at that, following Tsukishima with new concerns on his mind.

Before approaching the counter though, Tsukishima paused, turning back to Kuroo ever so slightly, his ears still tipped red. "I'll probably still be at the library a lot by the way, since I can do work there. So I guess I won't be completely rid of you and your awful jokes."

A pleasant chill ran through Kuroo, and they locked eyes for no longer than half a second before Tsukishima was spinning around to face the menu, the back of his neck obviously tinted in embarrassment.

It seemed Kuroo being familiar with the blond's character wasn't one sided. Tsukishima knew him just as well, enough to read even his slightest mood changes, enough to comfort him. It was Tsukishima's way of saying they'd be fine, Kuroo didn't have to fret over any of it.

This guy is trying to kill me.

Kuroo bit back a mega watt smile, moving to stand side by side with the blond.

"Why Tsukki, your words hurt me."

"Shut up."

Yeah, he had nothing to worry about.

--

"In Shirabu's words," Terushima said, his voice trailing off as the soft sound of crumpling paper filled the silence through the phone. "You...'better not pack your motherfucking laptop Kuroo, I will snap that shit in half.' That's...that was from him--"

"I know dude."

"He told me to write it down and tell you."

"Okay man--"

"It wasn't me."

"I get it."

Kuroo laughed as Terushima sighed in relief, knowing his cousin had probably gotten an earful from the former setter. At least between the two of them, Kuroo was the more practical one when it came to travel. He packed the basic crap, whereas Terushima would probably stuff his suitcase full of junk he didn't need in favor of them being 'fun' instead of necessary. As a result, one person was always given the task of policing Terushima's baggage anytime they went anywhere. It had been that way since middle school, and it certainly wasn't going to change.

Also, Kuroo was definitely taking his laptop. If Semi said there'd be free wi-fi, no one was passing up on that shit.

Shirabu could pry Kuroo's electronics from his cold, dead fingers.

"No one is any fun Tetsu, Shirabu made me empty like half my shit," Terushima went on, no doubt rifling through his mismanaged suitcase. "And then my babe, who I can't wait for you to meet by the way, made me empty the rest of it! Apparently, pool floaties aren't required, but tennis shoes are? Bullshit."

Kuroo's lungs were dying from how hard he was laughing, but his cousin didn't seem to find the situation all that amusing. Damn, I really did miss this fool.

He and Terushima technically lived in the same city, but hectic schedules were brutal, especially when Terushima was a fairly successful freelance artist. It seemed like every other weekend he was off painting a mural or designing a logo. It meant Kuroo didn't see him much, but oh well, he was damn proud of him.

"Your babe is right. Seriously man, when are you gonna learn to pack, it's been years."

"Psh, details."

Kuroo shook his head, folding a few more sweaters into his bag before deciding he was finished. All packed. All he'd need to add in the morning was his toothbrush and some other shower stuff. He pushed his suitcase to the door, placing his laptop bag right against it so he wouldn't forget.

Shirabu would be pissed, and it was going to be awesome.

The line was silent, but Kuroo could tell Terushima was still there, if the sounds of disarray were anything to go by. It would be normal for them, these comfortable silences, if it weren't for the fact that Terushima was really bad at hiding shit.

He wanted to ask Kuroo a question, and didn't know how to do it. Kuroo couldn't help but smile, at least he had enough consideration to be shy about it. It was why Kuroo tended to not mind actually being asked questions by his younger cousin.

"Uh...so--"

"Dude," Kuroo cut in, taking a seat on his lumpy couch. "Shoot."

"I hate how you do that you know," Terushima said, chuckling lightly. "Semi says you're not bringing anyone?"

And so it begins.

"Yeah, so no worries. I won't steal your new relationship spotlight," Kuroo said, hoping Terushima would let the conversation end there.

Against his will, an image of Tsukishima flashed through Kuroo's mind, and he pushed it away with force. Not the time.

"Pft, as if. Oikawa would be the one to do that," Terushima said. "Actually, he still might, even though he'll be there alone n' shit."

"Ugh, he's going to complain the whole time," Kuroo said fondly, knowing he wouldn't mind at all when it happened. He'd missed everyone so much, and while he was worried about awkward dinner conversations, it would be worth it.

"That's all you bruh, I'd rather deal with Shig and Kyoutani..."

"Even though they're disgustingly affectionate?"

"Risks worth taking."

They both snickered, the sense of nostalgia invading his heart as the memories of his childhood flashed in his eyes. These people, these absolute dorks, were his family.

"Seriously though man, I just wanted to make sure you were alright with that," Terushima continued. "I know you're waiting for the right person and all that junk."

Kuroo snorted, shaking his head. "Yeah, yeah I'm good."

"So you haven't met anyone?"

Kuroo's response, which had been a resounding 'no' for as long as he could remember, died in his throat. This time, he couldn't stop the thought of Tsukishima for practically knocking the air out of him. His laugh, his smirk, his eyes. The images, the memories...they were so prominent they scared him. Because now, the answer to the question was different.

It was insanely different, and yet it didn't matter.

Yeah, he'd met someone, but it wasn't meant to be. That's what sucked the most. For all Kuroo's waiting and patience, this is what he'd been left with.

And the weirdest thing of all was he didn't regret it, not even a little.

His hand clutched the phone tighter, his eyes closing as he willed himself to not dwell on the dread inside him. "No, not yet. I mean, I met someone but…it’s not going to work."

“What? Where’d you meet him? You should go for it dude!”

Kuroo cracked a smile. Terushima’s enthusiasm tended to be contagious no matter how crappy he was feeling.

“The library,” Kuroo said with a long sigh, already wishing he could go back there and see his favorite blond. “But it’s not happening dude. He’s got a boyfriend.”

Yeah, saying it aloud hurt just as much. He resisted the urge to wince. He could practically hear his cousin deflate over the phone, and Kuroo felt torn between embarrassment and gratefulness. Terushima cared so much about Kuroo’s happiness, but admitting to his own pitiful situation was something Kuroo wasn’t completely comfortable with. It had sunk in sure, the fact Tsukishima was taken, but to say it was settled in his heart…he didn’t know if it ever would be.

“Oh…man, I’m sorry…” Terushima sighed, unsure of how to console Kuroo any further. But of course, he tried as hard as he could to think of more to say anyways, wanting to make sure Kuroo was alright. That was just the kind of guy Terushima was.

If only he knew it wasn’t possible this time around. Kuroo shook his head to himself, disappointed.

Yeah, same here.

--

The drive to the lake was only about four hours, and while it hurt his back and made him wish he was in bed still, the route he took was as scenic as could be. It was what he needed, if he was being honest.

Kuroo left the windows rolled down half way, letting the mountain breeze filter in as the city smog got farther and farther away. The longer he drove, the mistier and cooler it got, and he couldn't wait to set foot on the rich, damp soil up by the lake. Already the thoughts of nights by the fireplace were making him feel relaxed, and when he finally pulled up to the house, he was more refreshed than he had been in a long time.

The house was large, made of dark furnished wood with a smooth stone foundation. Just from glancing at it, Kuroo knew it probably cost a fortune to own. Ten rooms at least, a driveway big enough for eight cars, and what looked to be a jet spa on the side. The windows were huge, covering the front of the house more than any of the wood did, and Kuroo figured it was all for the sake of the lake view. He glanced down the hill, where lush, green land met the water, connected by a small dock.

If the place was this ritzy on the outside, he could only imagine what the furniture and rooms looked like, and he definitely needed the luxury right about then. He wondered if he'd at least been given a good room.

Let's go find out.

Leaving thoughts of Tsukishima and work behind in the small space of his car with a final sigh, Kuroo cut the ignition, and stepped out onto the driveway.

Before he could even pop his trunk and grab his stuff, the front door flung open, the wood sounding more like a shotgun going off from the way it slammed into the wall. Kuroo jumped, turning to the source of the sound to find a comfortably dressed Yahaba standing in the entrance way.

"Tetsurou!" The brunet called, running down the porch stairs easily with his long legs, skipping every other step. Behind him, Kyoutani walked with a much slower pace, but looked amused nonetheless at his husband's excitement.

Kuroo opened his arms on instinct, letting Yahaba land in his arms with a surprisingly strong impact. Kuroo made an 'oof' sound as Yahaba tried to squeeze the life out of him, barely finding his footing in the loose dirt.

"Shigeru, I love you and all but...this isn't wrestling," Kuroo breathed out, and he was almost positive Yahaba started to hug him tighter.

With a huff, the brunet withdrew, crossing his arms in satisfaction. Kyoutani came up to him easily, wrapping an arm around the other's waist as he shook Kuroo's hand. Kuroo looked them both up and down, since it had been a while since their wedding.

The only major change was Kyoutani's hair, now fully back to its natural brown. It suited him.

Kyoutani snorted, nudging his husband. "Count yourself lucky, he did the same thing to Yachi without warning."

Kuroo arched a brow, eyes scanning the area for the blond in question. "And?"

"She passed the fuck out."

"Kentarou!" Yahaba smacked Kyoutani lightly, and Kuroo had to force his own laughter down. Yahaba wouldn't be as kind with him, never had been. "She was tired that's all..."

"Uh-huh."

"Anyways," Yahaba continued, gesturing to Kuroo's bags with a barely concealed suspicion. "Let's get you settled. Yachi is napping, but Eita-kun, Oikawa, and Kenjiro are in the living room. Which means..."

Kuroo's smile was rueful, at best. "Hide my laptop before Shirabu destroys it?"

"Yeah that."

"Did he tell everyone?" Kuroo asked, thanking Kyoutani with a nod as the other grabbed his larger suitcase. Motherfucking Shirabu.

Yahaba turned around, eyes clouded in pure confusion. "Did you not get the email?"

"Email?"

--

"Tetsu-chan!"

Oikawa's hug was, thankfully, a lot more tame than Yahaba's. Which, come to think of it, was weird. Kuroo eyed Oikawa with caution, searching for any signs of sadness in those twinkling brown eyes. Oikawa had always been good at hiding stuff like that though, even from all of them. To this day, none of them knew how Iwaizumi managed to see through Oikawa so easily.

They were grateful for him though, he made their talkative setter happier than anything else. Of course, the flip side to that was he could also make him upset as all hell.

They'd all heard their fair share of 'I miss Iwa-chan' rants, no joke there.

"You and I are the singles club this time around," Oikawa said with a smirk, and Kuroo didn't resist pushing the other away with a hand to the face.

Yes, he got a lot of satisfaction out of the yelp Oikawa made in return.

"Oh leave him alone," Semi said with a smile, going in for a normal hug, bless his soul.

Then again, Kuroo reasoned, when had he ever been one to give normal hugs himself?

He picked Semi up easily, squeezing him with a force Yahaba would surely be proud of. Semi squawked and kicked, a friend betrayed.

"Okay okay! Can't breathe...you son of a--"

"Fucking language, jeez," Yahaba said from the couch, laughing when Kuroo finally set Semi down.

Even Shirabu was snickering in the corner, so it was a win.

Semi brushed himself off, shooting Kuroo a glare with hardly any bite. "Can't believe I invited you jerks back. Never mind, the vacation is off. Pack your shit."

The room erupted in laughter, and Kuroo could feel the joy seep into his bones. The day was already half over, and he was tired and starving, but those problems paled in comparison to how much better he felt right then.

Kuroo had forgotten what this felt like, to be so at home with the people he loved most. In his heart something was still missing, no doubt, but it didn't take away from how glad he was to be able to exist in this moment.

From outside, a horn honked, and they all shared a knowing glance.

Yahaba hopped off the couch, looking a little bit too evil for a reunion, and rushed to be the first person outside to welcome the last additions to their party. "Teru is here!"

"Hmm, you mean he and his new boy are here," Oikawa purred from the armchair, and Kuroo seriously wondered why he'd been worried. His group of friends were downright sadists, and he received a lot of their jabs about not having a date on a weekly basis. Still, he didn't envy Terushima. His date was about to be blindsided with judging eyes and questions.

Kuroo only hoped they were ready.

"C'mon, c'mon!" Oikawa whispered dramatically, dragging Kyoutani and Kuroo by the sleeves to make them come to the foyer. "I wanna see!"

"You mean you want to pick apart," Kyoutani muttered, dragging his feet as much as possible. Oikawa's strength was to be reckoned with though, and it only slowed them down by a few seconds. Oikawa was a determined bastard, a quality which served him well.

"Eh, same thing," the brunet said breezily, and before Kuroo knew it, he was in the foyer, waiting for the grand entrance.

Terushima was already there, standing in the doorway with his one too many suitcases, decked on in his signature yellow jacket. Man, only he could make that color look non repulsive.

Terushima had just barely pulled away from Yahaba's clutches, and was now beckoning to someone outside. Kuroo rolled his eyes as he felt everyone take a collective mental gasp. Ah yes, the moment of truth.

Snorting, Kuroo approached his cousin, arriving at the door at the same time as Terushima's boyfriend did, skin flushed from the cold.

Pale skin. Light, honey brown eyes.

Oh.

That feeling was back, like he was by the ocean. Except, it wasn't calm anymore, it was a horrid storm, raging past the shore line.

Kuroo's stomach twisted when he met Tsukishima's eyes, his ability to think crashing like a wave into a weak rock. He felt his throat dry up, his mouth opening uselessly. His back forgot how to bow, his eyes seized to blink, and his world shattered to the floor.

Oh.

"Hey guys," Terushima said, unaware of Kuroo's mental breakdown due to his own nerves. He smiled sheepishly, gesturing to the blond with unfiltered adoration. "This is my boyfriend..."

Terushima looked to Tsukishima expectantly, and Tsukishima snapped out of whatever daze he'd been in, breaking eye contact with Kuroo.

The spell was broken, but Kuroo didn't feel any better.

"Tsukishima Kei," the blond said, bowing politely after he cleared his throat. His gaze continued to flicker over to Kuroo, distraught, but to anyone else, his expression was neutral as could be. "Thanks for having me."

"Ooo, so polite. That's already a step up from the last on--ow!"

Kuroo wasn't positive, but he was confident it was Semi who had stepped on Oikawa's foot. Good man.

Terushima laughed, his smile way too genuine, and it made Kuroo feel about a thousand times worse. His cousin looked at him, his excitement unrestrained, and god, Kuroo hated faking smiles, but he did it for the sake of his family, for the sake of his own dignity.

This was bad. Oh god, so bad.

"Ah doll, this is my cousin," Terushima said, and somehow his nickname for the blond stung something fierce.

Damn, I'm an awful person for even thinking that.

"U-uh, right. Kuroo Tetsurou," he introduced himself, hoping his voice didn't sound like he was eating glass. Either way, Tsukishima probably already knew something was wrong, if the tenseness in his shoulders was anything to go by. "Thanks for taking care of Teru, he uh...really likes you."

Kuroo tried not to wince.

Tsukishima bit his lip, a nervous habit Kuroo had picked up on. "Well--"

"Alright, alright," Shirabu cut in, and everyone except Kuroo and Tsukishima turned to him. They were almost stuck in this moment together, wanting to say so much but knowing there wasn't much to say.

This wasn't a big deal.

They hadn't done anything wrong.

It wasn't like they'd had some kind of affair. They were friends.

And yet neither of them felt the need to say they'd already met. Neither of them were lining up to bring that information to light. Why was that?

Oh yeah, because Kuroo had confessed his crush for a guy he’d met at the library, where Terushima probably damn well knew Tsukishima worked. If Kuroo revealed they knew each other, it wouldn’t be hard to connect those dots.

Fuck.

"All these awkward conversations can be saved for dinner, I'm starving," Shirabu finished, motioning for everyone to help debate food plans in the kitchen.

"Ah yeah, sounds good," Terushima said, lacing his fingers with Tsukishima's like it was the most natural thing in the world. "C'mon guys!"

Tsukishima didn't protest, and he followed with one last glance at Kuroo, leaving him alone in the foyer.

It left an empty feeling in his chest, and while the sounds of yelling and laughter from the kitchen mixed together in the air, Kuroo couldn't feel any of the joy they carried.

#kurotsuki #kurotsukki #haikyuuwriters #adri writing