#why have I drawn him more adult than his sim version?

[van-yangyin]

BOLD the Facts

The rules are simple! Tag people and name a character you want to know more about! If you want to let the person you tagged decide who to showcase, then don’t name a character and they can pick somebody. Easy! The person who is tagged will then bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!

I've been tagged by @stargazer-sims 💗💗 Thank you so much for your tag this is a really fun game 💗

This time I'm going to do it with "Ryuuya Kitta/吉田竜矢".

(This time I made a quick drawing of him instead of using a SS of his sim because my tendonitis is almost gone, it doesn't hurt as before and the medication is over, and I wanted to try to draw a little bit and see how it goes. I also had a lot of fun drawing him. But I've noticed that my hand is still not very good, that's why the drawing is a bit odd. Seriously what has happened to his glasses and eyes? x_x)

[ PERSONAL ]

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty ✚ Medical: fit / moderate/ sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable ✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other ✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other ✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet (it's not really a crime but when he finds coins on street and keeps for him, he thinks are petty crimes because doesn't tell authorities he found it, so as he thinks are crimes I put this option) / yes, but charges were dismissed

[ FAMILY ]

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children ◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased ◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent(s) / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES ]

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between ♦ disorganized / organized / in between ♦ close minded / open-minded / in between ♦ calm / anxious / in between ♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between ♦ cautious / reckless / in between ♦ patient / impatient / in between ♦ outspoken (when he does meet the person) / reserved (when he doesn't meet the person) / in between ♦ leader / follower / in between (when he understands something can be a good leader when he doesn't, as is the fashion, he's a follower and leaves elections to Marena) ♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between ♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between ♦ traditional / modern / in between ♦ hard-working / lazy / in between ♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown ♦ faithful / unfaithful / unknown

[ BELIEFS ]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / spiritual ☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care ✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ❀ Philosophical: yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual (he's still not very clear about it, so he's self-discovering himself because thinks that if Icaro were a girl, gender non-conforming, non-binary or anyone within non-binary umbrella, etc..., he would've fallen in love with him because of the way Icaro is) ❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless (Mostly because at this moment his main interest isn't physical but spiritual side.)♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious ❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced (he hasn't yet felt the need to explore it) / curious ⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none (is still uncharted territory although he wouldn't mind trying it with Icaro) / all ⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all (he's still not very clear about it, so he's self-discovering himself because thinks that if Icaro were a girl, gender non-conforming, non-binary or anyone within non-binary umbrella, etc..., he would've fallen in love with him because of the way Icaro is)

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none ✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / Alcoholic ☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker ✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict ✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess ☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater $ Splurge Spending: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic ♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

-

This time I would like to tag @lea-heartscxiv, @yuracrazy, @saruin, @crazy-lazy-elder-sims, @bnt0, @merofthefae, @cassymblr, @1-800-cuupid, @raccoonium, @honeybeenrw, @stargazer-sims, @rentbunny, @dizzyrobinsims, @simandy, @the-daydream-archives, @pralinesims, @kanonbreakerz and anyone who wants to do it, this is your perfect excuse to consider yourself tagged by me, some of you again. For those who haven't done it yet, start with OC you're most eager to do. For those of you who have already done it and it's not your first time, continue with the next OC you're most eager to do, I'm happy to meet more about all of them. However, if you don't feel like doing it, you can feel free not to do it.

#van do games #oc: Ryuuya Kitta #oc: 吉田竜矢 #ocs: IcarRyu #lea-heartscxiv #van-yangyin #why have I drawn him more adult than his sim version? #i think i'll do clayed version of his hair in my style bci really don't like the way it looks in some areas same about Icaro's

[englishvisualnovels]

The Story of Two Overbearing Sakuras and Their Lighthearted Love Triangle — Sakura Sakura Launches on Steam

Developer: Hiqosoft Publisher: Sol Press Release Date: November 19, 2018 Platform: Windows Age Rating: All-Ages & 18+ Price: $34.99

Note: This post contains links that lead to NSFW content.

Earlier this week, Sol Press released Sakura Sakura on Steam. A free demo for the game is available on Steam and the Sakura Sakura promotional website.

The Steam version of Sakura Sakura is all-ages, but Sol Press released a free patch which adds adult content to the game.

Relevant Links:

Where to Buy (Digital): Steam (18+ Patch)

Official Site (Demo available)

Features, via Sol Press:

Step into the shoes of two different protagonists each with their own love triangles.

A romantic visual novel featuring a Japanese voice cast.

Relive touching and hilarious CG scenes with the CG Gallery feature.

Listen to your favorite tunes from the game in the Music Gallery.

Synopsis:

The Dorm Guardian vs. The School Guardian

Tohru Inaba has always dreamed of living a co-ed life. That’s why, when he finally managed to transfer into the renowned Rintoku Academy, he immediately fell head over heels for two Sakuras!

Nanako Sakura’s classes are strict, but at home, she turns into an overbearing mother.

Sakura Kirishima may seem cold and unfriendly, but she is always ready to lend a helping hand as the class representative.

These two girls are outwardly indifferent to Tohru, but put the three of them together and sparks begin to fly.

In the sakura-colored season of spring, two fussy Sakuras have been caught in a light-hearted love triangle.

The Internet Friend vs. The Childhood Friend

"You know how romance games always give the main character that best friend who tells him about the girls? I want to be that guy."

Naoki Fuse, the self-proclaimed best friend, is always ready to tease Tohru about his situation with the two Sakuras.

But, unbeknownst to him, he is one side of yet another light-hearted love triangle.

Akira Nitta has been Naoki's friend since before they could read and write, and is now finally living under the same (dorm) roof as him.

Kurumi Tachibana used to be Naoki's MMO raiding partner, but they were separated before she ever got a chance to meet him in real life or tell him how she felt.

"I understand him better than anyone else."

Akira and Kurumi have Naoki stumped for the first time in his life. And so, Tohru finally gets a chance to see things from the other side.

The curtains rise on this desolate showdown for love.

Cast:

Nanako Sakura Voiced by: Izumi Maki

(Known roles: Chihiro Shindou from ef - a fairy tale of the two., Chizuru Tachibana from the Grisaia series, Komaru Kamikita from Little Busters!, etc.)

The kind dorm mother of the Tsukimi Athletics Dorm who wakes the students up every morning. She cheerfully makes breakfast every morning just for Tohru Inaba, but not out of special consideration for him. Rather, it’s because the other two residents, Naoki and Akira, usually skip breakfast. Coincidentally, one of her concerns is that those two have been skipping their practices as well.

She acts as a parent to Tohru, supporting, encouraging, and scolding him as he works to become an official member of the Fine Arts Club. At school, Nanako transforms into a strict and imposing homeroom teacher, with a firm line drawn between the two roles.

However, since witnessing Tohru being fussed over by Sakura, the vice president of the Fine Arts Club, her mood at the dorm has been noticeably worse.

Nanako specializes in general housework, honed from her time living alone, and cooking simmered dishes such as nikujaga, curry, and hot pot. Her hobby is gardening, and she devotes her spare time to protecting her garden by weeding the dorm's backyard. She goes on walks in the middle of the night to count the stars whenever she is upset, something she has been doing ever since she was a little girl. Because of her youthful appearance, she is often treated like a child, unbecoming of her status as a teacher. Lately, she has been spending more and more time looking up at the sky from the dorm's backyard.

Sakura Kirishima Voiced by: Yukari Aoyama

(Known roles: Bunwa Kaku from the Shin Koihime † Musou series, Kazuki Kazami from the Grisaia series, Orgel Seira from Chaos;Head, etc.)

The class representative and cool beauty in the next seat over. When the other Fine Arts Club members protested Tohru's entry into the club, all it took was for Sakura to say, “I will take responsibility,” to convert them into unanimously approving.

At Rintoku Academy, which is already renowned for its art programs, the Fine Arts Club stands above the rest. And Sakura is the only person capable of wrangling the prideful members of the Fine Arts Club into working, to the point that 3 club advisors have lost confidence and quit in the past year. Despite only being the vice president of the club, her words’ influence rival that of the teachers, and she is not taken lightly by anyone.

That is the reason why, when Tohru naturally lines his up desk with Sakura’s to share textbooks or when he invites her to eat lunch together, their classmates get restless. However, as Sakura is the only person who can get the problem children of the Tsukimi dorm to fall into line, she is also the only one capable of being their class representative. Her natural leadership dwarfs Nanako’s, who is still a novice teacher, causing the latter to often feel discouraged.

Sakura dislikes people who are spineless, waste words, or can't keep promises, those of whom greatly outnumber the people she likes. Despite Tohru being all of these, she becomes his guardian when it comes to club activities, looking out for him. But what her clubmates understand least of all is why she gets so fired up when it comes to the Tsukimi Dorm Mother, Nanako. The two often collide in a rivalry over teaching Tohru about the academy's customs.

Akira Nitta Voiced by: Yuka Kanematsu

(Known roles: Hiyori Oofusa from Dracu-riot!, Moukaku from the Shin Koihime † Musou series, Shamsiel Shaharl from the Funbag Fantasy series, etc.)

The real-life childhood friend who finds the idea of an Internet childhood friend ridiculous. Akira dreamed about marrying Naoki when she was a little girl, earnestly devoting herself to him and spoiling him... and then doing a complete 180 when she realized he had turned into a sloth because of her. Her current number 1 wish is to erase those years of puppy-love devotion from her memory.

Just as Naoki managed to enroll in Rintoku through the kendo program, Akira enrolled through its gymnastics program and thus also lives in Tsukimi dorm. For reasons unknown, she no longer attends practice and instead skips to play baseball and table tennis with Naoki. Whenever he asks her why she keeps skipping with him, she simply replies, "Why don’t you ask the leotard?"

To Akira, Kurumi does not even register as a rival. However, when Kurumi drags Naoki into conversations about Internet games and dating sims, she becomes determined to steer him away, beginning another hopeless battle for his affection.

Akira follows a strict day-to-day diet and is afraid of body weight scales. She often says, "I wish my stomach would stay closer to my back." She is also obsessed with household appliances and has spent the last six months steadily saving to buy a ‘cute refrigerator’. Her favorite food is popsicles and her dream is to have a refrigerator stocked year-round with perfect rows of sparkling popsicles.

Kurumi Tachibana Voiced by: Yui Sakakibara

(Known roles: Ayase Kishimoto from Chaos;Head, Hamaji Yakumo from H20: Footprints in the Sand, Navi from Dragonar Academy, etc.)

The Internet childhood friend who refuses to lose to a real-life childhood friend. Six years ago, hallo made huge waves among hardcore gamers as one of the first big MMORPGs. Kurumi and Naoki met there and formed a party, shedding blood, sweat, and tears together for more than two years. However, right before they could clear the final dungeon, the game ceased operations and the two were suddenly forced apart. Kurumi had planned to confess to him and ask for his contact information once they cleared it, but it seemed her first love was not to be.

All she knew was that Naoki lived in the same region as her. Kurumi was a shut-in at the time, but she took that day as an opportunity to change. She learned how to be fashionable, took up more club activities, started studying, and became an outgoing person. She had no intention of letting her first love end the way it did.

Two years Naoki's junior, Kurumi was recognized as a genius for the sensitivity portrayed in her art and rose to the top of the Rintoku Academy affiliate school she attended, allowing her to take part in the Rintoku Academy Fine Arts Club’s activities. Through Tohru, she recognized Naoki as the person she had been looking for and, consequently, has started picking fights with Naoki's real-life childhood friend, Akira. However, she gets nervous and loses her ability to speak in front of Naoki, resorting to extremely formal language. When she played hallo with him, she lacked the courage to confess outright and instead kept wandering around the entrance to the final dungeon.

#sakura sakura #hiqosoft #sol press #bishoujo #rating: all ages #rating: 18

[simplyoriginalcharacters]

((Hello for the last time this month. I want to thank you all very much for all of your help. I’m not sure if I have submitted this character before, but he is one of my much more older ones. He was created back in 2005, and I have done a lot of retconning, reconstructing, and updating of his origin story. I was wondering if you could help me with making a more cohesive backstory for him. I feel that there is something there, but any time I reread this, I feel like I’ve explained nothing about him. I created him in the Sims and I apologize because I have not drawn him in years.

He is a Character in the Earth series of the story that my cousin and I have created. It takes place in 2036, in Nevada which is just a place where demons, Aliens, monsters, and supernatural beings live. He lives in Neo New York City, which has become larger and slightly more dangerous))

Name: Captain I.R.U.E.L Moroz

Name Meaning: Idiorrhythmic Respiratory Unit with Extended Longevity.

Gender: He uses “He/His” pronouns.

Sexual Orientation: NA

Age: His “brain” is technically 40 years old, but his physical body is 8 years old.

Race: Android

Occupation: He currently works in the Cyberterrorism unit of the Neo NYPD with his brother N.I.L.S. Alignment: Lawful Good.

Affiliations: He is affiliated with the Neo NYPD police unit, and occasionally he works with other legitimate factions. Family: Dr. Anton Moroz- Anton was his “father”, and he was a well respected neurologist. With his wife’s help they created the brain and framework for I.R.U.E.L and his brother. He remembers that he was a kind and dedicated man who loved his wife and son. I.R.A feels that if he ever had to become human, he would like to have the same personality as his father.

Dr. Julia Sewick- Julia was his “Mother”, and she was the one who created his intricate brain and memory systems. He is unsure if he can feel love, but he knows that he feels affection and respect for these two. He thinks that if he ever had a romantic partner, then he would like if they had the same personality as Julia.

N.I.L.S.- N.I.L.S is his brother unit. They are opposites in what their abilities are, but they work well together. This is his only true android friend, and he respects him. He thinks that N.I.L.S is a more advanced system, and he usually asks him questions about his programming, but he hates when people compare them.

Best Friends: Daemeon Ahipene- Daemeon is one of his closest human friends. He respects Daemeon because he knows how to use his guns well. He also finds it interesting that someone like him could get away with robbing 9 different banks.

Relationship Status: He has no interests in relationships.

Significant Other: NA.

Other Relationships: He is friends with Radojka Raznatovic. He thinks that she is an excellent IT person, and he likes that she takes the time to understand complicated machines. Height: 6'4

Weight: 520lbs because of his robotic skeleton.

Build: Average and muscular. His body type hasn’t changed much.

Skin Tone: Pale

Hair: His hair changes colors sometimes. He usually has black hair, but sometimes it’s blonde, red, and even navy blue.

Eyes: Liquid mercury and silver. When he is in a low power state, they turn black, and when he is in his “active sentry” mode, around his irises it is blue.

Identifying Marks: His eyes are his most distinctive feature.

Appearance: I.R.U.E.L, or as he likes to be called, I.R.A, was modeled to look like the adult version of a couples adopted son. He is about 6'4 and 520lbs, which does tend to throw people off. He and the child that he was based off of are of Japanese descent. He has fair skin with warm undertones. He has a narrow face, with full lips and a pointy nose, but his most distinctive feature are his eyes. His eyes are sharp and they are made of liquid mercury, so they appear silverish to white in the light and they are rather piercing. When he’s in “Active Sentry Mode”, there is a faint blue glow around his pupils. He does change his hair a lot, and as of now it is short, black, and trimmed. He does have pointy canines and nails that are black for some reason.

Personality: I.R.A has undergone three major personality upgrades in his lifetime. When he was first created he was extremely robotic and cold. He did work with other people, but his only concern was security and safety. His second personality upgrade was the most drastic, and with one he acted completely human. He emoted more and acted on impulses of how he felt and why. His third personality upgrade is his current one, and it’s easier to maintain. He comes off as stoic and very cool. He rarely looses himself and he’s easier to talk to. People say that he’s like a “User-friendly computer” where he will talk and explain himself, and assess conditions, but there’s that human disconnect. There’s a debate on how “human” he actually is. His brain is not real, but it’s constantly updating and learning like a real human one.

Motivations: He is motivated by curiosity and a strong motivation to do what’s right.

Current Goal: His current goal is to stop a cyberterrorist android named Deuxo 2.0. He’s an extremely formidable adversary.

Life Goal: He wants to perfect things like the violin, the cello, and piano.

Motto: “I am able to accept this request”.

Best Quality: Although he is an android and essentially and artificial human, he truly values the concept of friendship. He feels that it’s hard to trust people because deep down he worries that people would use him for personal gain because they have before.

Worst Quality: He can get himself caught into a thought loop. If you give him a perplexing or paradoxical statement to analyze, he will try to figure that out. Also if he doesn’t have all of the facts of a situation, he is hesitant to take any action. He’s not a precognition unit or anything like that.

Likes: He really likes guns. He has two customized Desert Eagle handguns that only recognize his unique internal ID. He also likes music and he’s been teaching himself the cello and violin. He understands that he is not good at it, but he enjoys it.

Dislikes: It is rare that he dislikes things, but one thing that he hates is when people attempt to compare him to N.I.L.S. He knows that they were designed for different reasons, and that there is no point of comparing them to each other. He also will go against his brothers wishes or demands.

Fears: One of his biggest fears is meeting humans who will use him or his brothers for illicit means. This has happened to him before and he is extremely cautious of who he meets.

Hobbies: Playing the cello, Reading, and watching videos on the internet.

Talents: He was programmed with this ability, but he is a self repairing android; this is interesting because N.I.L.S cannot do this. He can actually complete complex repairs on himself if he needs them. Another talent that he has is that he can tell when someone is lying. He can detect micro-expressions, eye movement, and the pattern of breathing that someone has.

Skills: He is fluent in 25 languages, and he can even decipher binary code. He can use a multitude of weapons, but he is proficient in handguns and rifles. He is also able to integrate himself with the interfaces and systems of the computers that are located within and near his district. Abilities: Besides being stronger, faster, smarter, and deadlier than a human, he has some built in talents. He was designed to be a skeleton key android, so he can access anything, at any time. He is like a walking supercomputer, and he thinks at speeds faster than the worlds smartest person.

Weapons: Weaknesses: Items like magnets and very strong electric currents can actually incapacitate him for a while.

Fighting Style: He knows a version of Kickboxing and close quarters combat.

Secret: He honestly wants to know what would happen if he created an android himself. He can’t because he’s not sure if he knows what hardware and schematics are involved, but he would like to assemble one eventually.

Influential Memory: Being caught by Role Model: His Parents. They taught him a lot of good things and he hopes that he’s lived his life properly and appropriately.

Crush: None.

Source of Embarrassment: He’s embarrassed by the fact that he can’t really feel emotions. This sometimes makes it hard for him to sympathize with people who have lost family members to crime. He knows how to say that he is sorry, but he doesn’t know why he’s saying it.

Source of Pride: He’s proud of the fact that he is an android, but he values human life because they are always changing and adapting.

History: Dr. Anton Moroz and Dr. Julia Sewick were an older couple who wanted children, but they both felt that they were physically too old to have them. They were both respected doctors in their fields, with him being a neurologist and her being a neurorobotics professor. They desptrately wanted a child so they looked into adoption. They eventually spoke to a girl who was giving up her baby for adoption. They spoke to each other and she agreed to give her baby to them. They named their baby Piotr and they showered him with unconditional love. Piotr was a bright and easy-going child who made them laugh and he was not really fussy. Things were going well until he turned 5 years old. He was feeling sick and he was vomiting, but things got so bad that he actually had a stroke and he was in a coma for a few weeks. After going to other doctors and even from Anton’s research, they learned that he had an aggressive and rare form of bone cancer. The other doctors told them the disease was progressing quickly. They were devastated. Anton and Julia helped their child as much as they could until his death on October 12th, 1986. They took some time apart to get over their grief. Dr. Anton came up with a rather controversial idea at the time and He approached his wife with his proposal. He asked her if they could work together to re-create their by using Artificial Intelligence, and he felt that if they worked together, they could let the memory of Piotr live on. She had reservations about the idea at first, but after some consideration, she agreed. They started on their research of making Piotr live again. They asked to keep the brain of their son for research, and through their efforts Julia and Anton managed to copy Pitor’s memories to a synthetic brain. They then started to work on his body. It took them 10 years, but they created a body that could function as Piotr’s. They chose to create an adult sized body because they felt that it would be easier to create instead of a new body that grew as he grew. Soon, Piotr was reborn. Their son was “alive"and they continued to love him as their own. He acted like their son, but they couldn’t truly recreate the complex emotions that children displayed, so although he could talk and emote, he was rather reserved. As time passed, Piotr was already 18 years old when he started to notice something strange about his mom and dad. Their health was failing. Anton was getting thinner and he would get tired more often. He died suddenly at the age 85, but he saw that Julia was getting older as well. Piotr did as much as he could to help her, but he couldn’t understand what was going on. She made a call to a trusted colleague before she was bedridden. She gave her son a backpack and she told him that he was not to open until he made it to the destination on the letter that was written for him. She passed away and Piotr was alone in the new world. From watching movies, he knew that they had to be buried in the back yard of their home together. He read the letter and he was off to his destination. At the time, Piotr had a body and a framework, but he didn’t have any skin. He was unprotected, so he wrapped himself from head to toe in bandages and a coat. He then made his way to France where the letter told him to met up with Dr. Laurent Sendak. He was a doctor who created artificial skin for people with prosthetic limbs and severe injuries. Out of courtesy, he created skin for him. The skin that he created felt real to the touch and he was grateful because he could be in public without scaring people. He asked Dr. Sendak if he could stay with him for a while and he accepted. Piotr made himself useful by assisting the doctor with his work and in return, he created artificial organs for him. He even made hair that grew and fingernails for his new assistant. One day when Piotr was exploring France when he was attacked by a group of people. He had no idea who they were, but all he remembers is that when he woke up, he was on a operating table of some sort. As soon as they did a scan, they saw that he wasn’t human and they were excited. One guy strapped him down and they hooked him up to a machine. They started to reprogram him and soon Piotr ceased to exist. These mercenaries were part of this private army that was known as the D.I.R.E. Unit. The doctors remodeled him, giving him military grade enhancements and even an exclusive Upgradeable memory unit. They placed a bomb into his chest for some reason as well. They then gave him the new name of I.R.U.E.L and he was forced to be their newest soldier. For 4 years he was deployed for every mission that they had, and afterwards his data would be collected and wIped. One day, he was in Sentry Mode when he found a piece of data that was hidden. It reminded him of his parents, and he risked everything to escape. They detonated the bomb and everything went black after that. According to him, the next few years are hazy, but he knows that he was rescued by a man named Ioanthe who was an assassin and he repaired him by removing some of the military grade implants and he repaired his memory. He had never dwelled on this, but he kept on hearing a transmission that nobody else could hear. The code was located in Denmark, and from what he deduced, he had to go there. He thanked Ioanthe and he went on his way to Denmark. He arrived in Denmark and the signal led him to a Library. He sat there trying to figure it out, when he was approached by a guy who had blonde hair and purple eyes. The guy, who he assumed was human, was very kind and something was really familiar about him. The guy, who introduced himself as Nils, said that he had been looking for him as well. His creator was Dr. Sendak, and that he was coming to help him, but the signal was lost for 4 years. He trusted Nils, and they decided to move in together. I.R.U.E.L was relieved and glad that he had someone to connect with and that he was an Android as well. N.I.L.S had an emotion upgrade and he was like his own technological firewall. As they lived together, N.I.L.S taught him about humans, and I.R.A taught his brother essential combat skills.

Hi friend!

Since we’ve done so many profiles together from this world I feel like I can just get right into the nitty gritty.

I feel like some of these profiles were written at the same time, because I have some of the same notes as I have had on others from this world. The background needs to be shorter. Turn each paragraph into one sentence and see if the story still comes out. The pictures you’ve created for these characters are very similar, I’m sure partially due to being made in the same system, but they have the same eye shape, mouth shape, chin shape, and similar hair. In stories we have to create mental images for each character and here where we have characters with different powers or are different races there have to be very distinct features for us to picture with each one. Tell me what really distinctive feature sets all of these people apart.

Early in the profile you say that I.R.U.E.L. and his brother have opposite powers from each other, but then don’t list what they are until much later. Please make sure that your profile is set up to have questions like that answered before they will get asked because otherwise there’s a lot of back and forth, and it will get you in the habit of giving us the information before we need it in the story as well.

I see a number of conflicts within I.R.U.E.L.’s profile that I’m having trouble reconciling. First, the couple who made Piotr’s robot duplicate had ten years to come to terms with their grief and then extrapolated out an adult version of their son. Why didn’t they adopt another child? If they were willing to change the image of the son they miss enough to build a copy of him, why aren’t they willing to say, ‘We can’t have him back, let’s just raise another child”. It’s certainly not implausible, but you really explicitly need to give us a reason why they made him but older to give us a sense.

Another conflict I’m seeing is that I.R.U.E.L.’s greatest flaw is his lack of human emotion, but you describe his fears, his pride, his values, his embarrassment. Emotion is so much more than love or sadness.  All of these are emotions. Be very specific in your wording when it comes to his speech and perspective. He doesn’t have fears, he has actions that he chooses not to participate in because of unfavorable outcomes. I know that’s hard to put into a profile, but keep it distinct in the writing.

Because I.R.U.E.L. is so book smart, but was very sheltered, I would suggest you make him have very little common sense. I would perhaps even take out his ability to detect lies. (As a parent, I would not want my child to be able to detect lies.) This gives him some humanity without meaning to, gives him some comedic moments to lighten the load.

The very last thing I will say is that of the characters submitted, almost all have been male or male presenting. Is there a specific reason for this? If not, one suggestion I earnestly make to people who do not often write female characters and feel they won’t be good at it is to write a male character, then change all the pronouns to female. How does that change the character’s story? Does it really change anything, or does it only change how your character is perceived? Can you change people’s reactions to your character without changing who they are? Just some food for thought.

Happy Writing!

-Shields

#backstory help #development help #oc critique #soc critique #submission