#will probably not be online much till tomorrow but im safe and okay-ish

[altijd-november]

my parents are fine most of the time, there's a lot of things that could be better but they also could be so much worse

but sometimes im just genuinely wondering why the fuck someone would say something like that

take today, they didn't bother to ask me what time i'd be home but assumed itd be too late. so since my mum had something to do tonight they started dinner without me. i came home a lot earlier than they thought (the exact same time as every week) so I then had dinner alone while they sat at the table cause they fault bad for not waiting. my brother and mum were doing something on my mums phone and my dad was doing whatever on his own phone. i said somewhat jokingly "wow i feel so unloved right now" and my brother says completely serious sounding "you are". apparently that's a normal thing to say because my mum started laughing. i gave him a bit of a 'that's fucked up to say' look, which offended him somehow. my dad agreed that it was a bit weird to say but they brushed it off. then my mum said something else that was really fucking not okay to say that i wont bother repeating here, but i looked at her, rightfully upset in my opinion, and she just laughed again.

i think this might be the first time ever that my dad agreed with me on how upset i am/should be about something, but my mum and little brother just don't see how their words affect others, and if i say something about it I'm the one who's being rude, but if I don't say something but get upset I need to learn how to communicate my feelings. yet they wonder why i never tell them about anything important to me.

I'm so fucking done with family.

#sorry if you read all that #just needed to get it out #will probably not be online much till tomorrow but im safe and okay-ish