#xayah x reder

[heckinhacker]

Xayah x Fem!Reader -  Vastayan Goodbye [ENG]

word count: 615

requested: yes! by anon: “ can you do angst xayah x female reader? i mean i am kinda tearful and want to read sth like that // you dont need to do it if you don't want to!” ~ of course I wanted to. ^^

warning: kinda suggestive content, but not worthy tagging as dirtyhacker I guess? 

A/N: I had a bad day when I wrote it, honey, and I was all day on mobile, and even though it won't be much... I'll try. Ok? Be safe. It might be short but it's a fanfic I rushed on. 

I don’t think Xayah would canonically do “that”, but people do many things unexpectiedly, when stressed or in despair. I love Xayah and I love her with Rakan, it’s for angst purposes!

You knew how Xayah was a busy woman. You also knew, who she is as a person, what she’s doing and with who. You were the only human in this shitty revolution. Only you cared about it...and Xayah, of course. What hurt the most? You knew, that you’re better than Rakan. Rakan doesn’t care in the slightest this whole play called ‘revolution - of course he wouldn’t. He cares about Xayah and Xayah only. Not her goal. And you? You cared about her war as much, as she did. This stupid, pathetic, designated to be lost revolution meant for you that much because it meant for her. Xayah is ready to give up everything, her health or even life for her own people - Vastayas. Every morning you wake up and remind yourself that this woman is taken. This woman is loving someone who isn’t you. Funnier thing is - you accepted that a long time ago, knowing that your crush doesn’t have any right to exist.

Then why one single fight with Rakan seemed to change everything? Why, when you entered her tent, because of alcohol, she told you how everything was hard on her - not him, YOU. Why was she this honest - admitting it WASN’T their first fight? Why would she like to rely on you? Why after hearing her out, she kissed you with such passion, which made your knees weak? Why would she do that? Was she thinking about you earlier, before she got drunk, or you were just temporary replacement for Rakan, because he couldn’t be here with her? Why did she look like she was so thirsty and so happy when she gently caressed your skin on stomach with her long nails? Why did even her big hands got under your shirt? What did she had in her head? Did she had ANYTHING in her head?? You perfectly knew why didn’t you let her do that. Because she was in relationship. A wife. You perfectly knew it doesn’t make any sense, it doesn’t have any right. Then why did she look so disappointed when you pushed her off? - Xayah...I really do love you. That’s why I can’t do this. - I don’t understand… - What about Rakan? - I don’t deserve him. I think he finally noticed. He started to distance himself from me. - No, no...Xayah… - Is it my fault? Am I too busy with work? Would he...cheat on me? - No! Xayah, of course not, how could he! You’re the most gorgeous woman on this planet, and if he cannot follow your goal - he doesn’t deserve you. I demand that you take a break from time to time, take care of yourself. Don’t die on this war. Even if Vastayans would win it, what comes next? They need a leader, they need you. I need you, so please. Please…

You wanted to continue, but drunk Xayah grabbed your cheeks and kissed you deeply. Earlier you managed to stop her, but after you directly warned her about your feelings and reminding her of Rakan, you couldn’t do this again. This night gave you too much hope, because...could she love you? Human girl, who sacrificed her own life for Xayah’s case? Could you be that important for her? 

The answer is - no.

Xayah sobered up, Rakan gave her very intense, built up “sorry” speech, which she accepted, treating you with cold shoulder. This coldness was freezing you slowly. You were only there for a moment. Every question “Could…” got it’s answer, but any of “Why…”’s didn’t. And you worry they will never find any. You’re only left with hope that she’ll survive her war with Ionia… And hope that you won’t. 

#hacker writes #league of legends #league of legends xayah #league of legends rakan #angst #xayah the rebel #rakan the charmer #xayah x reder #league of legends xayah x reader #lol xayah x reader