#yeah yeah yeah you all keep on being like “hmm let's address your depression” I'm so fucking tired of getting told coping methods

[neverendingford]

.

#tag talk #making progress in therapy because I finally got annoyed enough to go on a twenty minute monologuing about how #I'm tired of getting projected onto and put in these cute little “here's how to manage your anxiety” boxes #yeah body scanning is cool I learned that seven years ago when I was having panic attacks and now I don't have them anymore #actually when I'm anxious focusing on all my five senses makes me even more overstimulated so I close my eyes and don't focus on what I hear #yes I already know how anxiety works and at this point I'm past the emotional fear response and it's now just an overloaded cpu problem #hey hey hey fucking listen to me yeah the circle of control is cute but when people are stupid enough I actually Can control them #I tried to tell her politely that I've already graduated from psych 101 basic bitch mental illness school for freaks. #but she didn't really get it so I stewed for half an hour while she talked about bullshit and then I kinda went off about it #like. hey I'm not incapable of holding relationships long term because I'm afraid of them it's because I'm a freak who doesn't belong. #I'm not afraid of other people. if anything people are afraid of Me. and yes that does make me afraid of social rejection as a whole #but can we please move past kindergarten levels of self understanding and move on to something useful? #yeah yeah yeah you all keep on being like “hmm let's address your depression” I'm so fucking tired of getting told coping methods #how many more snide comments about suicide hotlines do I need to make before you get the hint that I don't just need a hug. #anyway I'm gonna make a list of things I want to talk about and problems I want to address and email it to her and hopefully that helps

[etlunainmorte]

❄❄❄

***

*German Christmas Goose ( Weihnachtsgans )*

Total - 2 hours and 30 minutes

Prep - 30 minutes

Cook - 2 hours

Yield - 4 servings

*Ingredients

For the Goose:

4 1/2 - pound goose ( cleaned and dressed, no gizzards )

Dash salt ( or to taste )

Dash pepper ( or to taste )

2 teaspoons dried thyme

2 apples ( peeled, cored, and quartered )

1 small onion ( cut lengthwise into 1/4 - inch - wide strips )

1 tablespoon salt ( mixed with 1 cup water )

For the Gravy:

2 tablespoons goose drippings

2 tablespoons all - purpose flour

1 ( 14 - ounce ) can chicken broth ( or homemade chicken stock )

Optional: salt

Optional: pepper

Optional: dried thyme

*Steps To Make It

Note: while there are multiple steps to this recipe, this dish is broken down into workable categories to help you better plan for preparation and cooking.

*Make the Goose

1. Gather the Ingredients.

2. Heat oven to 350 F.

3. Wash and dry the goose, like you would a chicken or turkey. Sprinkle salt, pepper, and thyme inside the cavity and fill with apple quarters and onions. If they don’t all fit, you can cook them alongside the goose in a small, buttered dish.

4. Mix 1 tablespoon salt with 1 cup of water and pour that into the bottom of the roasting pan. Place the roasting rack on top. Pierce the goose skin in several places to let the fat drip out as it cooks.

5. Put the goose, breast - side down, on the roasting rack and place in oven for 50 minutes. Use the salt water mixture to baste the goose several times during this period. Add more water to drip pan if necessary. Turn the goose over onto its back and cook, basting as needed, for 50 minutes.

6. Let the goose rest for 5 minutes as you make the gravy.

*Make the Gravy

1. Gather the ingredients.

2. Mix 2 tablespoons of the fat drippings with 2 tablespoons flour in a small saucepan and cook for 1 minute. Gradually add the chicken broth, stirring well after each addition. Add salt, pepper, and thyme, if desired, to taste. Keep warm.

3. Serve the goose and gravy with canned peach halves decorated with currant jelly ( if you don't want to make currant jelly or can't find it prepared, cranberry sauce is a fine substitute ), buttered Brussels sprouts, potato croquettes ( or mashed potatoes ), and the cooked apples and onions.

***

❄ Three Wishes ❄

***

V

***

A plump, elderly woman with very gentle and motherly features clapped her hands and addressed everyone in the room. "Let's get to work, everyone!"

"Let's go, V." You told the poet as you motioned for him to follow you into one of the classrooms.

At first, V didn't understand it when you said you needed someone to play the violin during a book reading session. But, now, he understood. Turned out you're working as a teacher in a kindergarten a few blocks away from Avery's mansion. 

Well, for one thing, V could totally imagine you spending your time around lots of children who adore you and play a lot with you. He felt you were just that perfect kind of person in this type of working environment: warm, caring, protective, nurturing,...

... loving,...

I wonder how she would be like as a mother of,...?

"Here it is." V was brought back from his musings and reverie when you handed him your partner's violin, which you were carefully carrying.

The poet examined the instrument and hummed in satisfaction. But, then,...

"I have a question." V quietly asked.

You hummed in question as you positioned yourself in front of the cabinet piano.

"Why did she leave this here?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I mean, this instrument. This actually looks," He muttered, once again looking at the delicate instrument in his hands. " ... very well taken care of. I can't imagine someone just leaving an instrument like this here."

"Oh, you're a keen observer." You answered as you took out the sheet music you bought from the music store with V from your (F/C) hand bag. "My partner never really tells me anything too personal, actually. But, one day, she just,... I don't know,... kind of became depressed.

"She stopped practicing the violin, which was affecting our work in a way. I wanted to help her so, I asked. And you know what she said? She just said, it's hard to love someone who could never love you back, you know? I actually never knew if she had a boyfriend, or not but, all I know is that there was this really tall guy with white hair who used to visit her. Then, for some reason, he stopped visiting her. A day later after we talked, she asked for a short break. And, here we are!

"It was kind of intriguing, really." You said as you shrugged your shoulders. 

“It sure is.” V answered as he thought of the violin’s owner, who must be tending to a broken heart as of the moment. "Love can do many things to you. It could lift you up to the highest of heavens, and one wrong move, it could drop you to ground without you ever knowing it."

“Then, she must have one heck of a fall from the highest of heavens.”

"Hmm. Well," V replied as he plucked the strings of the instrument to check how much it was off tune. " ... who am I to judge?"

"Yeah, me too." You sighed, allowing yourself to slouch as some unsavory experiences regarding that stupid thing called love came back to haunt you. Forcefully pushing those thoughts aside, you sat up straight and hit the C note on the piano. "Let's practice, V."

A few hours later, the place began filling up with excited little children in cute, fluffy sweaters together with their parents. The faculty members, which consisted of the kindergarten's headmistress called Sister Christina ( the retired catechist from Germany who cooked most of the meals for the feast later on ), the teachers Alicia ( a sweet young lady from Spain who did the colorful and really festive decorations ) and Natasha ( a very tall, very lovely and very haughty - looking Russian who made the desserts ), you ( the music teacher ), together with the invited guests V ( who was honestly overwhelmed by the presence of all these adorable little children ), Avery ( who took a day off from work just to participate in the event ), and Nico ( who was doing something pretty suspicious in her van together with Griffon and Shadow ) all greeted the children and parents and made them gather in one of the classrooms. The program started off with a prayer by Sister Christina, followed by a simple, little opening speech from Alicia. 

V watched in awe as the little children ( now wearing cute costumes ) performed with so much energy. Some of them danced ( there was this adorable little number from a group of sugar plum fairy princesses and a fawn prince ), some of them sang ( he couldn't help but smile as they did a Christmas medley of Hark The Herald Angels Sing, Away In A Manger, and Joy To The World ), and some of them even acted out some scenes from Frozen, playing as its popular characters ( the most famous act was the one from, of course, Elsa the Ice Queen ).

And then, there was this little boy ( who was in his early nineties costume ) who came forward and simply bowed down. A resounding aww was heard all over the place from both parents and teachers, and when he took a deep, exaggerated breath, everything went silent.

"The Lamb." The little boy announced with his clear voice, then bowed once more. It surely perked up V's interest in an instant, being a huge fan of William Blake, himself.

Blake at such a young age? He thought with such admiration. How commendable!

"Little Lamb who made thee, dost thou know who made thee? Gave thee life and bid thee feed. By the stream and o'er the mead."

"Aww, how cute is that?" V heard you whisper next to him.

The little boy went on. "Gave thee clothing of delight, softest clothing woo - "

"Woo?" You whispered, realizing that the child was probably forgetting the poem.

The poor boy shook his head and tried to recite once more. "Gave thee clothing of delight, softest clothing woo,... wool,... wooloo,... "

"Wooloo?" Avery, who was sitting on the floor right next to you, questioned. "Isn't that a Pokémon?"

"Oh, no!" V saw you awkwardly divert your eyes as you were unable to bear the situation. 

"Gave thee clothing of delight, softest clothing woo,... wooloo,... " The little boy tried once more to recite. He was about to give up as he became more and more frustrated with his inability to pronounce the word properly, until his eyes landed on V, who was smiling at him while pointing at his own lips. And as the little boy looked at V, he noticed the way he was forming his lips, like he was saying something,...

Woo,... lee,... V mouthed. 

The smart child picked up on this immediately and went on with his poetry. "Gave thee clothing of delight, softest clothing wooly bright."

The crowd breathed a collective sigh of relief as the boy finally remembered the lines. Smiling wide from ear to ear, he went on, "Gave thee such a tender voice, making all the vales rejoice! Little Lamb who made thee, dost thou know who made thee?"

Cheers erupted from the crowd as the little boy finished his recital. After the little program, everyone proceeded to the canteen to partake of the feast that was prepared for all of them, the German Christmas Goose dish that was lovingly made by Sister Christina being the center of attention ( it was very well noted how Griffon felt horrified looking at the poultry meal on the table, which made Nico almost collapse in wild laughter ).

About two hours of feasting later, all the guests were gathered into the same classroom, this time, for the book reading session that you and V were preparing for.

The story was about Little Red Riding Hood, and how she escaped the wolf who pretended to be her grandmother to eat her. And the main protagonist was played by none other than Avery, herself.

"One morning," Alicia read as you started playing simple notes on the piano. " ... Little Red Riding Hood asked her mother if she could go to visit her grandmother as it had been awhile since they'd seen each other. That's a good idea! her mother said. So they packed a nice basket for Little Red Riding Hood to take to her grandmother. When the basket was ready, the little girl put on her red cloak and kissed her mother goodbye.

"Remember, go straight to Grandma's house, her mother cautioned. Don't dawdle along the way and please don't talk to strangers! The woods are dangerous.

"Don't worry, mommy, said Little Red Riding Hood, I'll be careful. But when Little Red Riding Hood noticed some lovely flowers in the woods, she forgot her promise to her mother. She picked a few, watched the butterflies flit about for awhile, listened to the frogs croaking and then picked a few more. Little Red Riding Hood was enjoying the warm summer day so much, that she didn't notice a dark shadow approaching out of the forest behind her,...

"Suddenly, the wolf appeared beside her!"

The little children, who gathered around Alicia, gasped in fright as Shadow, who was strangely, and yet cleverly, disguised as a wolf, appeared and growled. The overall tense atmosphere of the book reading session was amplified by V's skillfully ominous violin playing.

"What are you doing out here, little girl? The wolf asked in a voice as friendly as he could muster." Alicia went on as V played the violin.

"I'm on my way to see my Grandma who lives through the forest, near the brook." Avery replied. 

"Then she realized how late she was and quickly excused herself, rushing down the path to her Grandma's house." Alicia read. "The wolf, in the meantime, took a shortcut. The wolf, a little out of breath from running, arrived at Grandma's and knocked lightly at the door."

"Oh, thank goodness dear! Come in, come in!" Griffon, who was ridiculously dressed in gingham clothing and a pair of glasses to look like a grandma, acted out as he waited in his makeshift prop bed in one corner of the room. Then, with slight frustration, he whispered, "How the fuck did I end up dressed like this?"

"Ya, stupid chicken!" Nico, who was positioned behind the bed and hidden from the viewers, whispered savagely as she kicked the wooden prop, making Griffon squawk. "Ye're pretendin' to be a grandma, right?!"

"Oh, sheesh! Right! Ah," projecting his voice once more as he made it sound like an elderly woman, he spoke, " ... I was worried sick that somethin' had happened to ya in the forest."

"Said Grandma thinking that the knock was from her granddaughter." Alicia went on. "The wolf let himself in! Poor Granny did not have time to say another word, before the wolf gobbled her up!"

"Watch out, granny goose! The wolf is gonna eat you!" One of the children screamed and pointed as Shadow attacked Griffon and used her powers to swallow the screaming ( and swearing ) demonic bird whole.

"Nice effects!" Complimented one of the parents. "I wonder how they did that,..."

"The wolf let out a satisfied burp, and then poked through Granny's wardrobe to find a nightgown that he liked. He added a frilly sleeping cap, and for good measure, dabbed some of Granny's perfume behind his pointy ears." Alicia read as Shadow did all those things that she just mentioned. "A few minutes later, Red Riding Hood knocked on the door.  The wolf jumped into bed and pulled the covers over his nose."

"Who is it?" This time, someone from the faculty was voicing the wolf, and not Alicia, and it sounded suspiciously strange for a female teacher. It almost sounded like someone's husky - voiced middle - aged aunt,...

"It's me, Little Red Riding Hood." Avery acted.

"Oh, how lovely! Do come in, my dear," croaked Shadow.

"When Little Red Riding Hood entered the little cottage, she could scarcely recognize her Grandmother." Alicia read as you and V stopped playing for a while, plunging the whole classroom in silence.

"Grandmother! Your voice sounds so odd. Is something the matter?" Avery asked.

"Oh, I just have touch of a cold." Squeaked Shadow, adding a cough at the end to prove the point.

"But, Grandmother! What big ears you have!" Said Avery, exaggerating each word, as she edged closer to the bed.

"The better to hear you with, my dear." Replied Shadow.

"But, Grandmother! What big eyes you have!"

"The better to see you with, my dear."

"But, Grandmother! What big teeth you have!" Said Avery, making her voice quiver slightly.

"The better to eat you with, my dear!" Roared Shadow and she leapt out of the bed and began to chase Avery, making the little children yell excitedly as you and V began playing once more.

"Help! Wolf!" Avery, who was suppressing her laughter, pretended to cry as she ran around the room away from Shadow, who was doing a pretty good job of being a wolf.

"I'm here!" Nico, who was dressed as the woodsman, appeared from behind the makeshift bed and chased after Shadow. She grabbed the familiar and made her spit out poor Griffon ( now soaked in Shadow's saliva ) who was a bit frazzled by the whole experience, but still in one piece. Fortunately.

"Oh, Grandma, I was so scared!" Avery sobbed. "I'll never speak to strangers or dawdle in the forest ever again."

"There, there, child." Griffon, who still somehow managed to act despite his coughing fits, croaked. "Ye've learned an important lesson. Thank goodness ya shouted loud enough for this fuckin' woodsman to hear ya!"

"Was that fuck just now?" One of the parents whispered.

"No! You must've misheard it." Another answered. "This is a classroom! No one's allowed to swear."

"Oh, you're right! It must be an old English word from the medieval times."

Nico pretended to knock Shadow out with her prop axe and carried her away from the classroom.

"Little Red Riding Hood and her Grandmother had a nice lunch and a long chat." Alicia read. "And they lived happily ever after. The end."

The children and the parents applauded as the characters, along with Alicia, you, and V, all bowed. The book reading session was, then, followed by gift giving, and after that, you were called in front to perform one last thing on the piano.

"Hailing from the uber romantic city that is Paris, the winner of the 73rd annual European piano concours last October," Avery announced proudly. " ... I give to you - my cousin, (Y/N)."

V watched as you shyly took a seat in front of the piano once more and positioned the music sheet in the music rack. Then, with beautiful and skillful fingers, you started playing.

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star, how I wonder what you are." The children excitedly sang as they gathered around you in utter curiosity as you played the simple tune.

However, it was anything but. As the music progressed, V found out how complex the piece really was. It was composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, after all. It looked really difficult, indeed. Despite that, he saw how you smiled as you performed.

He saw how eager and excited you were to play for the children.

And it warmed his heart.

When it was almost time to go, Shadow and Griffon made one selfless and surprising move to serve as petting animals for the children, a Christmas treat courtesy of them.

"Hey, do those creatures kinda look dangerous?" The confused parent from earlier asked.

"Hmm, I don't think so." The parent next to him answered. "They're not biting the kids, anyway."

"Oh, you're right."

"Wait, they're battery operated!" Another parent chimed in.

"How did you know that?"

"Animals can't speak."

"Okay, gentle lads and lasses, one hug at a time!" Griffon announced, trying to be heard amidst little, excited voices and numerous, itty bitty hands. "Ouch! Don't pull a tail feather! Sheesh, calm down! I'm not a Thanksgiving turkey!"

"Did you tell them to do that?" You asked V as you watched the scene with total interest.

"Hmm, actually, no." V answered as he savored this moment to be close to you.

"Such a good child." That husky middle - aged aunt voice from earlier spoke, startling both you and V.

"Who was that?" V, who was still looking at the scene before him, asked as he crossed his arms and knitted his eyebrows.

"I have no idea." You answered. You were just as baffled as him with this whole mystery voice thing that was using Shadow as a -

"I have never been hugged by master V before!"

V's eyes darted to his familiars just in time when he saw one little girl hugging Shadow like she was a huge stuffed animal.

"So soft and cuddly!" The little girl said, then kissed Shadow on the forehead. "Thank you so much, big kitty!"

"Why, thank you, little girl." The mysterious voice answered. "And Merry Christmas to you, darling."

"My turn to hug the big kitty!" The little boy, who recited Blake earlier, came forward and engulfed Shadow in a bear hug.

"Oh! And Merry Christmas to you, too, little lad." The voice greeted just in time when V saw something tied around Shadow's neck - a red ribbon with a little, golden bell dangling from it like a dog tag. "My master is truly pleased with your William Blake recital."

Shadow's voice acting earlier,...

The voice greeting the children,...

That little bell dangling from the red ribbon tied around Shadow's neck,...

Could it mean,...

Could it be - ?!

Is it even possible?!

***

❄ Special thanks to @la-vita for suggesting the Christmas Goose Dish. ❄

❄ @clevermentalitybeliever , @v-vic , and @birdgirl69 .❄

***

❄❄❄

***

#devil may cry 5 #vitale sparda #three wishes #v x reader #v x you #chapter 5 #happily

[punkscowardschampions]

Nancy & Rio

Nancy: I heard from Edie, so you can pass that good news on, like Rio: Yeah? Rio: Did she say where she was or anything? Nancy: Obviously not Nancy: Why talk about herself when she can have more fun being a bitch about everyone else, right? Rio: At least you heard from her, something to tell the 'rents anyway, better than radio silence Rio: that's about how it usually goes, yeah Nancy: Yeah Rio: Cheers for letting us know Rio: how's everything? Nancy: The baby's fine. Ro's Ro Rio: Yeah Rio: She been to sleep yet? Nancy: Of course not Rio: Didn't think so Rio: She'll crash eventually Nancy: She should be medicated Nancy: But you know Rio: Not if she's gonna breastfeed Rio: if she can produce milk Nancy: She blatantly won't Nancy: Jesus, if she doesn't want drugs I'll take them Nancy: Fight my mum for them, like Rio: Shame Daddy hasn't put in an appearance yet, could really come through for you all by the sounds Nancy: I'm not that desperate Nancy: Not yet Rio: He'll be gutted Nancy: I'd like to think he'd be a bit too preoccupied to notice me Rio: Unlikely Rio: newborns are time consuming for the Ma sure, but boring lbr, not gonna pique his interest Nancy: I'm unlikely to either though Nancy: This is hardly a club atmosphere Nancy: Shame, like Rio: He's willing to liven up a baby shower Rio: can't be tamed, truly Nancy: Don't Nancy: I can only repress so much and I'm at my limit here Rio: Weren't that bad, like Nancy: Still Nancy: Thanks to your sister I'm in no mood Rio: Whaddya gonna do Nancy: How or what do I know Rio: Well it's over now Nancy: If only we could say that about the rest of this mess Nancy: Did Buster send you his flight details yet? Rio: Can't cry about it forever Rio: she'll get on with it Rio: Drew'll do whatever he does, life goes on Rio: Yeah, did he you Nancy: None of that is good enough, but yeah sure Nancy: Of course he didn't Nancy: He doesn't need me to pick him up from the airport, like Nancy: Priorities Rio: Maybe not Rio: but that's how it is regardless Rio: True enough Nancy: The defeatist attitude is catching, yeah? Okay Rio: What? Nancy: None of us are gonna care about how much of a mess this is anymore then? It's run its course Rio: She's a grown woman Rio: and it's her life Rio: What do you expect me to do Rio: or you Nancy: I don't expect you to do anything Nancy: Just be happy that my brother is coming back for this Nancy: That's what matters, obviously Rio: Why have you got a problem with me suddenly? Nancy: I don't Nancy: You know that's what important Rio: Well I'm not allowed to see the baby so yeah, to me it is Rio: if you want me to rock up and make Ro worse, like, I still won't so sorry to disappoint Nancy: How do you think that's what I want? Nancy: Oh my god Rio: Well you're pissed off at someone, babe and you're directing it at me Rio: and I haven't done anything else wrong, unless I have so Nancy: How are you not pissed off at everyone? That's my point Rio: Because it's exhausting Rio: and I don't care to change her mind of me, she can think what she likes Nancy: It's exhausting trying to hold everything together too Nancy: It's exhausting every way Rio: I know Rio: that's why I've stopped Rio: call it defeatist but it wasn't working anyway Nancy: I don't want to do this anymore Nancy: Maybe Edie's right Nancy: Or you are with using my brother as your escape hatch Rio: Fuck you Rio: that's not what I'm doing Nancy: No? Rio: No Nancy: Well then maybe you should Nancy: He does with you, to deal with being there Rio: Grow up Rio: She's 15 Rio: What's your excuse? Nancy: What's your problem? Nancy: You love him, you lean on him, that's how it works Rio: You have no idea Nancy: I know how relationships work I'm not a total idiot Rio: if you think it's using each other for a means to an end then no Rio: you really don't Nancy: What so you're mad 'cause I put the word use in there? Nancy: Okay its the wrong word Nancy: I'm sorry Rio: Whatever, forget about it Nancy: No Rio: Then what Rio: say what you wanna say Nancy: I don't want to fall out with you Nancy: I need you, okay? Nancy: So let me fix it Rio: We're not gonna fall out Rio: it's alright Nancy: It's not Nancy: Nothing is Nancy: I'm as much of a mess as everything else Rio: Yeah Rio: I know Rio: but I really don't have any solutions, I'm sorry, like Rio: I really am Nancy: It's not your job Rio: Nope Rio: it's no one's but we can still try Rio: or not Rio: either way is fine Nancy: I don't know what to do Nancy: Nothing I've tried works Nancy: I can't even talk to Edie, I'm out of my depth with everything Nancy: Jesus Rio: Well, no one can talk to Edie Rio: It's always on her terms, she's just good at that, it keeps everyone at a distance she's happy with Rio: but Rio: what else do you need to deal with, right now, like? Nancy: It was like I was back on the playground, like oh she's horrible to me I gotta be horrible back Nancy: Am I a child? No Nancy: And you were there the other night too so Rio: You can't beat yourself up about it Rio: It's what she wanted Rio: and you still tried, so it's something, though it doesn't feel worth it, I'm sure Nancy: Yeah, I guess Rio: It is Rio: My Ma will appreciate it if literally nothing else Nancy: It's fucked 'cause so much of what she said about me is true Rio: Don't mean she had to say it the way she did Rio: if at all Rio: 'cos I've been there, I know how it goes Nancy: What does it say about me though that I'm such a mess she doesn't even know me and she knows it Rio: She pays more attention than you'd reckon she could Rio: being gone and that Nancy: Clearly Nancy: What a headfuck Rio: Yeah Rio: I ain't gonna apologize on her behalf, you know but Rio: sorry it's got you this way now Nancy: It's not just her Nancy: I wish I could handle her all the blame but Nancy: hand* Nancy: I've made plenty of my own mistakes on top Rio: Yeah Rio: I know you're struggling right now Rio: and I know the club only ever seems like the answer once you're drunk enough, if that Rio: but I'm fucked if I have any better ideas, you know Nancy: I don't think I can ever go back there Nancy: It's so embarrassing Nancy: Thank god this town has plenty of others Rio: You know Rio: they see it every night too, babe Nancy: Okay, I'll take that but if I see that girl again I will die Rio: Not to be that bitch but do you even remember her face Rio: the snaps already dead, like Nancy: Ouch Nancy: I can't forget 'cause she's texted me since Nancy: I'm such a mess even strangers have to check in and check up Rio: Oh dear Rio: at least she's being Rio: nice? Rio: Yeah, that is shaming, no way 'round it Nancy: You don't even know Nancy: But don't worry I won't give you details Rio: You can if you wanna vent but yeah, also feel free to take it to your grave Rio: again, been there, most of us have Nancy: I don't think you have though Nancy: That's what I'm saying Nancy: We were having fun, I thought, but then she rejected me 'cause I was too drunk Nancy: I can't do anything right, literally Rio: Ahh Rio: awkward but at least she did the decent thing, like Rio: it's rare people do, sadly Nancy: Buster has slept with how many girls on nights out, like Nancy: I can't even get one Nancy: It's depressing Rio: Probably don't make it a competition, like Rio: if the vibe ain't good, people are gonna pick up on it Nancy: I know you're right Nancy: But god Rio: I know Rio: it's frustrating then it's like, kill me Rio: I have been there, just the once like but Rio: I know how it is Nancy: Give me a war story I need to be cheered Nancy: Thanks Rio: I don't think it will 'cos literally your brother only lad decent enough and you get enough of his heroics Rio: hmm Rio: oh, I can tell you about the time I rode his friend James because that's enough to make anyone feel better about their life Nancy: OH MY GOD Nancy: James as in the boy Chloe is with? Rio: Mhmm Nancy: GROSS Nancy: I can't believe they are having a baby together Rio: I know Rio: Wanna feel sorry for a kid Rio: That's the one, like Nancy: Honestly Nancy: That has actually made me feel less sad Nancy: Thanks, Ri Nancy: Sorry I was such a bitch Rio: Don't mention it Rio: Nothing laughing at the misfortune of others can't fix Rio: Kinda Nancy: Can we mention why the hell you let James near you though? Nancy: That needs to be addressed Rio: 😒 that makes it so much worse Rio: lord Rio: cut a long story short, boyf of the time left me stranded and i needed a bed for the night Rio: bad as it sounds, so you are free to judge Nancy: Oh Nancy: Why didn't you go to ours if you were in London? Rio: Well, I was trying to avoid your brother so yeah Rio: fail all 'round Nancy: It's my house too Nancy: You can always go there even if he's being a prick Rio: Thanks for the retroactive offer, babe Rio: appreciate it Rio: as much as it'd be a laugh to come for her mans, not gonna repeat Nancy: I don't even like boys but even I can tell he wouldn't be good in bed Rio: 😬 Rio: oh god don't remind me Rio: the flashbacks 😂 Nancy: Sorry babe Nancy: He always used to flirt with me Nancy: So I'll join you in the gross flashbacks, like Rio: yeah buster said Rio: actual deviant, like Nancy: The threesome jokes, oh lord Nancy: Why James Rio: He's tragic Rio: Can't even wish Chloe on him though Nancy: I bet she'll agree to get another girl in Nancy: As long as she doesn't call me, like Rio: Ew God Rio: the phonecall no one needs Nancy: She's so bi curious we all know it Rio: 😂 you reckon Nancy: That homophobia is coming from somewhere, and in this century, come on Rio: You right Rio: gonna come out on James in like 10 years time Nancy: At least her kid might end up with one decent mum Nancy: I'm still not volunteering though Nancy: Sorry Chlo Rio: Oh snap Rio: sure one of her friends will be down Rio: cute accessory if nowt else Nancy: They've all kissed each other at enough parties Nancy: Don't start me on that Rio: I mean Rio: guilty Rio: at least I backed it up? 😬 Nancy: You need to explain yourself before I fight you Rio: 😂 but we just made up Nancy: And you weren't bullying me for liking girls then kissing them to attract boys, but Nancy: Still side eyeing you Nancy: I was gonna ask what you were doing tonight but now we have drama so, like Rio: Damn, it be like that Rio: I won't even tell you I'm free then Nancy: Invite me somewhere and I'll forgive you Nancy: Maybe Nancy: 'Cause my mum and yours are swapping babysitting duties for my aunt and I don't wanna be home for her return really Rio: Alright Rio: see what I can do Rio: you can crash at ours if nothing else, what's another head Nancy: No drinking and no clubs, yeah? Nancy: There's my only rules Rio: Got you Nancy: I need a girlfriend so you can stop taking me on dates Rio: Oh Rio: Charming Nancy: You know me and my brother don't like sharing Rio: 😏 Yeah okay Rio: nothing personal, is it? Nancy: You know I love you, babe Nancy: Not gonna say more than him but Rio: If you not willing to put up the fight, fine Rio: so defeatist, god 😉 Nancy: I deserve that okay, bitch Rio: Yeah, now we're even Nancy: I'm so sad, be nice to me Rio: I see where you're going wrong, babe Rio: that's no chat up line is it Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: Are you really hate criming me again? Nancy: Girl stop Rio: I'm giving you advice to get bitches Rio: literally could not be more of an ally thanks Nancy: I'm yet to see any actual advice Nancy: Fake fan Rio: Only 'cos you won't let me Rio: call me out for queerbaiting Nancy: When have I stopped you? Rio: It's in your eyes, babe Rio: 👀 Nancy: You know I'm shy Nancy: The eye contact is very intense, babe Rio: 😏 Tips Nancy: If you were that committed to helping me you wouldn't have taught my brother to kiss Nancy: I had to learn on my own, outrageous Rio: Like you would ever Rio: do you remember that kid who used to hang around us Rio: we couldn't think of his name Nancy: The one who dared you? Nancy: Sure Nancy: Sully Nancy: I don't know why I can remember that and not what I did earlier Rio: Omg Rio: that's it! Rio: Nice one, babe Nancy: He was so Nancy: Well, weird Rio: You know Rio: was dubious how often he was in the pub, tbf Rio: not your grandad Rio: idek what punter was his old man Nancy: I feel like it was that man who always left his teeth behind Nancy: Creeped me out Nancy: Not saying it's why I'm gay but sir, please don't Rio: 😂 Rio: ew Rio: root of all your trauma Rio: you have a good memory, I'd forgot so much of this Nancy: What I literally don't have in short term I make up for in recall, apparently Nancy: Men are so gross Rio: Committing that to memory, gotcha Rio: the talent was not all that Rio: probably didn't think they were being judged by children tho Nancy: Do you remember that barmaid? She could be why you're straight by the same logic Rio: Oh my God, I do remember her Rio: literally reminds me of that bitch from the angel Rio: sue, sharon, whatever Rio: if she wouldn't be well past it by now i'd reckon it was her, telling me off still Nancy: Right?! Nancy: Buster never got in trouble, the prick Nancy: Which still hasn't changed Rio: 🙄 such a jammy lil lickarse Rio: bless Nancy: Golden boy forever Nancy: It's not my fault I was clumsy as hell Nancy: I hadn't grown into my tallness yet okay sorry Rio: aw Rio: like bambi on ice Rio: it's so sharon, woman hater forreal Rio: soz we were cute babe Nancy: Especially me, call me hun 💋 Nancy: 😂 Rio: 😂 Rio: i know u did not want her to lips you over me Rio: that's just a barefaced lie Nancy: True Nancy: But we aren't playing truth or dare now Rio: Guess that isn't tempting enough plans then? Rio: back to the drawing board Nancy: It'd be fun Nancy: Until you got too honest about my brother Nancy: Gross Rio: You control what you ask, so don't be nosy and we'll be fine 😜 Rio: Just come over then, I'll find a shitty chickflick on netflix, get some popcorn Nancy: Okay Nancy: Are you there now? Rio: Yep, I don't know who else is exactly but it's chill Rio: no doubt gracie and bills will clamour to go with mum Rio: but can maybe tempt 'em if we got some ice cream in Nancy: I'll let Grace do my nails Nancy: They are so chipped right now Rio: Now that's an offer Nancy: She can straighten my hair too if she wants Nancy: Not gonna resist Rio: Seriously, how could she Rio: like she working on commission with them things, I swear 😏 Nancy: I'll pay her in not loudly booing every time the man is on screen Rio: 😂 that's the spirit Nancy: I can't promise I won't make it gay whenever the 'best friend' appears but you know Nancy: What can you do when its not even subtext? Rio: Idk, go storyboard some fanfiction about it probably Rio: is that not how tween you would do Nancy: I don't even wanna write when school makes me, thank you Rio: You mean you had to whack it to porn like the rest of us heathens Rio: that's so sad Nancy: Yeah Nancy: No wonder I'm such a mess, like Rio: I hope you watched gay porn 'cos lesbian is bad Rio: like bad bad Nancy: Tell me something I don't know Nancy: But there are some lesbians making it these days Nancy: Taking the fanfiction up a notch, if you like Rio: that's something Rio: but we aren't watching porn with my little sisters, sorry Nancy: Good Nancy: If you wanna come on to me I know you can be more creative than that Rio: Throwing down the gauntlet like that alright Rio: I see you 😂 Nancy: Like I said, I need a girlfriend Rio: Yeah Rio: I'll get on Tinder for you, get the ball rollin' Nancy: Don't Nancy: That's not the kind of dares we're doing Rio: Fine Rio: but I'm taken n off limits, remember Nancy: 💔 Nancy: But sure Rio: 😘 heartbreaker forever Nancy: I'll text Sully about it Rio: 100% will dare you to like hey remember me Nancy: If we can find him Nancy: How many Sullivans are there? 1000s Rio: Banking on your encyclopedic memory and my sleuthing skillz, of course Nancy: I wish I knew his actual name like Nancy: Where are you? Was that teeth man your dad? Rio: So many questions left unanswered Rio: are you fit now Rio: should i have hit that Nancy: You should've kissed him instead Nancy: Maybe he'd still be part of the gang Rio: he should've tried harder Rio: wimp, like Nancy: He was trying pretty hard you were just paying more attention to Buster Rio: Shh Nancy: 🙄 Nancy: And I didn't see this coming Nancy: Okay then Rio: I mean Rio: If anyone should've Nancy: I'm an idiot Nancy: Moving on Rio: It's alright, it's not like I kept showing him how to kiss and you were like Rio: this game has been going on too long lads Nancy: Oh my god Nancy: Don't put mental images in my head, like Rio: you know we were avoiding each other Nancy: I know that's what you said Rio: You don't trust me? 😲 Rio: Rude Nancy: I'm just saying Nancy: I've said lots of things and not said even more Rio: Mysterious Rio: Imma get the truth Rio: Sleuthing Nancy: Not if that's literally the game, babe Nancy: You won't have to work very hard Rio: Gotta ask the right questions still Rio: don't downplay my hardwork Nancy: Yeah yeah Nancy: I'm doing my own making myself look presentable so Rio: aw for me? Rio: you didn't need to do that Nancy: More 'cause I don't need Gracie asking me why I've been crying Nancy: But you can still enjoy the view Rio: Oh babe Rio: dry your eyes Nancy: They are, but the mascara ain't letting me forget Nancy: Waterproof is such a lie Rio: Preach Nancy: I've spent so much money on so many different brands Nancy: Rude, like Rio: Practically funded the research, babe Rio: do they care, no Nancy: Seriously Nancy: Let me cry I'm stressed Rio: but well-dressed Rio: what really matters Nancy: Not right now, but you're easily impressed so Rio: 😱 Rio: Literally the rudest thing you've said to me Rio: get out Nancy: Sorry but you're dating Buster Rio: 😒 Rio: square up Nancy: No Nancy: You're small but fierce Rio: Yeah and we're brawling now Rio: 🥊 Nancy: Stop trying to gay bash me Rio: Stop thinking gay and mean are personality traits, bitch 😜 Nancy: Ouch Nancy: Now that was mean Rio: Got too real Rio: you did come for my mans Nancy: He's my twin, I have to Rio: 😂 Rio: Fair, just keep it behind my back too, like Nancy: Fine Nancy: Am I actually a bitch? Rio: No Nancy: You can tell me if I am, like Nancy: I won't start a real fight over it Rio: You aren't Rio: no more than you've got right to be Nancy: That just means I am but you like it 😏 okay Rio: Steady on Rio: it means you're fine Nancy: Alright Rio: Trust Nancy: I'm raiding our fridge for snacks to bring, anything you want? Nancy: Cupboards after Rio: hmm is there anything that contains carbs/sugar in your house Rio: 'cos that's all I'm feeling Nancy: I'm the one who shops for this house so yeah Rio: 🙌 Nancy: I'm literally looting before mum returns I feel like I'm about 10 years old Rio: That's the plan, baby Nancy: Take me back Nancy: I peaked too young clearly Nancy: All been going wrong since Rio: Oh hush Rio: you the same bad bitch you was then Nancy: 😂 Rio: i'm fr hoe Nancy: You're ridiculous Rio: 😑 Nancy: I've never been a bad bitch and you can't be mad about it Rio: Disagree Nancy: How and why? Rio: I'm not gonna be gay about it Rio: but you're funny and not afraid to be yourself with it, what's not bad about that Nancy: There'd be nothing bad about it if everyone else also thought it Rio: Who cares what they think Nancy: Um...me Nancy: Obviously Rio: Why Rio: like genuine Nancy: 'Cause I had so many girls telling me negatives so many years and I don't wanna believe that they are right Nancy: Other options would be nice Nancy: Other opinions too, like Rio: Fair enough Rio: but who do you reckon doesn't think that Nancy: Nobody's changed my mind that they got anything wrong about me yet Nancy: Homophobia aside Nancy: Quinn's the only one who liked me and I proved her wrong fast enough Rio: Plenty of people like you, Nance Rio: and more would if you were more open, that's the only reason you don't feel it Rio: but that don't mean it's bad, it's just statistics Nancy: Whatever, it is what it is Rio: Not whatever Rio: people like you Rio: you should like you Nancy: This family doesn't count Nancy: No offense Rio: why not Rio: they're who you spend most your time with Rio: only makes sense to care about their opinion, like Nancy: 'Cause other than Edie none of them are gonna come for me Nancy: Granddad isn't gonna turn me away from his birthday for being a state, like Rio: you don't reckon Rio: everyone in this fam has a loud mouth Rio: if you were doing something wrong, you'd know about it, yeah? Rio: just because we can't fix everything don't mean there's no accountability, like Nancy: Just 'cause they like me doesn't make me a decent person either Nancy: So like I said, whatever Rio: 'cos we're all cunts, yeah Nancy: No, you're all biased Nancy: I'm one of you Rio: everyone's biased, anyone that likes you that'll just be 'cos they're your friend or your girlfriend whatever Rio: you never gonna get the general approval of the town like, it's a myth babe Nancy: I'll get therapy and I'll get over it Nancy: Moving on Rio: 😒 Nancy: There's too much to unpack never mind for you to fix Rio: Yeah but are you actually going to go therapy Nancy: What else am I gonna do? Rio: Good Rio: the therapist'll tell you Rio: I ain't qualified, like Nancy: Here's hoping I get a man so I don't fall in love, like Rio: Oh God Rio: Don't even play Nancy: I'm not Nancy: You know I probably would Nancy: And I want that even less than I want to tell any man my problems Rio: You would not, you know now Rio: the illusion was shattered very publicly, like Nancy: It happens to loads of people Nancy: Literally a trope, babe Nancy: We can't give me that much credit Rio: Yeah but they know how to swerve that shit better than a clueless straight teacher Rio: shut you right down Nancy: I guess we'll see Nancy: Or not Rio: Keep me posted Rio: but hurry up with them snacks rn Nancy: I'm literally telling you nothing about my confidential sessions Nancy: But yeah Nancy: On my way Rio: 🙄 Spoilsport Rio: I mean how it goes, you div Rio: 👍 Nancy: Keeping secrets is kind of my thing, sorry, babe Rio: Not tonight bitch Rio: 'less you feeling that daring Nancy: Please, your dares aren't gonna be that scary Rio: 😏 Rio: Challenge accepted Nancy: Okay