#yes its still happening i just have a fulltime job and adhd

[beelzeballing]

youre all sick of me but i dont care. you KNOW i hate that they killed izzy and i hate that he died in ed's arms and i hate that he seemed content about it. you KNOW THIS.

but.

i think it could have worked. fuck, i think that they could even RETROACTIVELY make at least the latter 2 things work. but they'd have to unpack them. and, most importantly, acknowledge them as the backslides they are.

i want izzy in the gravy basket, reminiscing about how he died and being conflicted and not knowing how to feel because he'd felt happy to be dying cradled in ed's arms, even though he had struggled so hard to find himself outside of his captain. i want him to grapple with that. he got a glimpse of who he could be, a hint of being part of a community, but in his most vulnerable moment his words werent for the crew that he had begun to grow to love. under his laboured, last breaths, his plea was so heartwrenchingly, tragically that of first mate hands:

"sit with me eddie."

#tl;dr izzy has bpd and cannot let go of his fp <3 #anyway yeah i think this is the core of what i wanna do in my lil fix it fic #yes its still happening i just have a fulltime job and adhd #izzy hands #moogsin' #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd critical #the izcourse