#yes this is supposed to be the no bitches meme but shingen version | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ikesenhell · 6 years

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Lightning Prompts 10/5

Hey everyone! Thanks for coming out for this LIVEWRITE! We had a great time with so many different puns, me constantly consulting my lawyer (@a-shout-to-the-void) and the usual couch-vaulting. We also did a round of prompts! I took suggestions from the lovely audience and wrote mini-fics to it. They’re too short to have their own entries, so here they are!

TUMBLR USERNAME: @rainylune. PROMPT: Insufferable mother in law comes for a visit to Yukimura and MC.

Frankly, he hadn’t quite wrapped his mind around the concept of wormholes in general. Sasuke had patiently explained it to him at least five times, but none of the lectures ended with any better understanding. And really, it didn’t exactly matter this time.

Either way, understanding or not, her mother was coming to visit.

“She really likes things…” His wife’s eyes glazed over in a way that Yukimura usually saw with battle-hardened soldiers. “...tidy.”

Hells.

He was disciplined and minimalist, for certain, but that didn’t mean he was strictly clean. What did tidy even mean? He went back and forth on trying to scrub the place himself, panicking, and having his vassals join him in turns.

Put him on a battlefield? Sure. Put him in the crosshairs of a mother in law with exacting standards? Yukimura was very certain he’d prefer the battlefield.

When Sasuke finally picked her up, Yukimura made sure to have his retainers greet her befitting a great lady. He wore his best clothes and threw a feast for her, and by the end of it she was still frowning. What was he supposed to do? Beads of sweat collected at the back of his neck as he went to guide her to her room.

“This is your castle, correct?”

“Yes… my lady.” Yukimura staggered over the honorific. “Err, is something wrong?”

But the woman peered at him over that deep set frown, observing him for one long, harrowing moment--and started laughing.

“This has been priceless. She told me you’d sweat.”

“What?” Yukimura fumbled for clarity. “What?”

“It’s been lovely.” And his mother in law smiled bright at him, checking his shoulder with hers. “I’ve been giving you a hard time. She said you’d sweat a little.”

“Oh.” He rolled that over and over in his head, nodding intently. “I see. Have a good night, my lady.”

Oh, he was going to make her pay for that one.

----

TUMBLR USERNAME: @darkmindsthinktwistedthoughts. PROMPT: Explaining something modern to Kenshin. (Author’s note: I picked ‘Dada’ cause memes)

It started one day because she dropped an expensive teacup on her foot. Kenshin rushed to her side to check for any scratches, but she just stared off into the distance and deadpanned, “Well, I might as well die.”

“What?” Kenshin asked, horrified. “No, never--”

“--Oh, no, no honey, I don’t mean that literally.” His love laughed as if it were nothing at all. “No, that’s a pretty common joke in my time.”

What? He just stared at her, a hand full of ceramic shards. “How is that a joke?”

“Uh, so…” She lifted the hem of her kimono and scooped the rest of them up. “It all came from this thing called ‘Dada’.”

“‘Dada’,” he echoed solemnly, and the bizarre word apparently was funny enough in his mouth that she laughed outright at him. “What is that?”

“It’s an art movement? Basically after a very large world war, people were so traumatized that they decided nothing really was secure, sacred, or really mattered anymore? So they just started throwing things together and calling it ‘art’. A lot of it was usually pretty dark. So my generation kind of made their own version of it. There’s things like a picture of one of our presidents in red that says ‘then perish’, and things like that…” She giggled and added, “They’re called ‘memes’. One of them is ‘Well, I guess I’ll just die’.”

“Is that what Sasuke is forever quoting at you that you laugh so much at?”

“Yeah, but he’s mostly just doing vines. I’ll explain that one later.”

“Hmm.” Kenshin dumped the shards into a wastebin and clapped off his hands. “Teach me more of these ‘memes’.”

The next time he used his newfound knowledge, he was in battle. The blade of his lesser sword snapped, and without hesitation he turned and waved the hilt at Sasuke. “Ninja!”

“Yes, my lord?” Sasuke called back, fending off another oncoming samurai.

Kenshin lifted his broken hilt, deadpan. “This bitch empty. Yeet!”

Sasuke collapsed to the ground in laughter when his lord flung the shattered hilt into the crowd of enemies. Dada. He could get used to it.

---

TUMBLR USERNAME: @unstoppablelinda. PROMPT: Nobunaga and Kenshin in a bout of Wii Fencing.

“You do realize that no one can challenge my prowess in swordsmanship, correct?” Kenshin’s drawl was smooth as a winter day in spite of all the sake they’d put down. “You can’t win.”

“Fine words from you.” Nobunaga chuckled, haughty as ever. “They’ll go well on your tombstone.”

“Oh my god,” the chatelaine muttered, face in her hands. “Sasuke, what have you done.”

“Sped up the inevitable.” Her best friend looked unphased, but the flush in his cheeks betrayed just how drunk he had to be. “Besides, maybe in doing this we can keep them from having an actual sword fight.”

“Doubt it,” Yukimura huffed.

The two men latched the safety wristbands on with characteristic seriousness, both mouths set in a severe frown. Sasuke casually switched their Wii avatars to the closest representation of each man (which slowed the proceedings significantly as Kenshin kept insisting that his did not look like him, both of the eyes were the same color and it was almost insulting to think that it resembled him), but in the end, they both faced off against each other in a fencing match.

“Alright,” Sasuke slurred unsteadily. “You face--face the screen, not each other--”

“We can’t fight if we’re facing away from each other,” Kenshin pouted.

“No fighting happens adjacent to your opponent,” Nobunaga agreed.

“No, you do it at the screen. See?” Sasuke reached out and shook Nobunaga’s Wiimote to demonstrate, accidentally scoring a point against Kenshin. The buzzer went off; Yukimura shouted, Shingen bellowed a laugh, and Masamune cheered.

“You’re my ninja,” Kenshin stated, utterly offended. “Aiding the enemy, I see?”

“Come then, Kenshin.” Nobunaga soothed expertly. “It would be unsportsmanlike of me to not allow you a free point back.”

“That’s insulting. I don’t need that.”

“Then come, and stop your whining.”

“Whining? I won’t be the one whining when you lose--”

“Uh oh,” Shingen chuckled.

Kenshin charged at Nobunaga with his wiimote. Nobunaga parried just in time, the two of them suddenly in full blown duel. Sasuke shouted something like ‘not the equipment!’ but it was too late. The avatars on the screen floundered as the two men moved faster than the machine could pick up.

At the same time, both of the wrist bands snapped off the wiimotes and the two controllers went flying, one of them through a window and another straight into the TV. Yukimura and Masamune dove for the flat screen, bracing it before it shattered.

“Hmm.” Nobunaga hummed.

“I’ll go get it,” Kenshin huffed, taking the stairs two at a time to retrieve the one he’d flung into the street. “And afterward, you and I will finish this.”

“Please don’t,” Yukimura groaned. “And to think I just wanted to play bowling.”

#Lightning Prompts 4 #Livewrite #Ikesen #Ikesen Kenshin #Ikesen Nobunaga #Ikesen Yukimura #Ikesen Shingen #Ikesen Sasuke #Ikesen Masamune #tw: alcohol #alcohol tw #kenshin uesugi #nobunaga oda #yukimura sanada #shingen takeda #sasuke sarutobi #masamune date #memes

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