#yk all the dishonesty that exists. all the facades n fake bs n everything. i hate it so much

[noxtivagus]

:^)

#🌙.tbd #start of the year n yk i already fucked up #last night i slept nearly 4 n today has been.. a mess already to say the least #but i think it'll be even more pathetic of me to let my shortcomings hinder me #even if it hurts i will and definitely will challenge myself to get back up even higher #but.. i really do mean it when i say humans being yk. social beings r my weakness #i mean it's weird bcs one cld consider so many aspects of humanity to be weak but they also make us strong n #it's a bit too much at times for my sensitive self #anything to do with other ppl is just my weakness. i just can't be enough for it in a way #it hurts when there's always so much i'd love to tell my friends n family but i just can't seem to.. yeah #i crave authenticity so much it hurts. i'm so sick of this world n how #yk all the dishonesty that exists. all the facades n fake bs n everything. i hate it so much #when i just.. want to live like myself. to just be free from all those restrains n barriers to living more meaningfully #n i could just write. yk maybe when i turn 18 i'll really try to write very lengthy letters of what the people in my life mean to me #i really just. want to give that. for no particular reason other than i really want to bcs i really mean it #sometimes i hate how sensitive n emotional i am. how it hurts me n ends up hurting others n tears me even further apart #but then perhaps it's.. in a way when it's not Too much. it's smth special in this world with so much hate n lies n pain n injustice #emotional ppl who r intelligent as well rlly have a special place in my heart. #ahh.. i rlly don't know what i'm writing anymore i feel so bad n so helpless w my incapability rn #life is of the journey. of how we overcome our sufferings. of memories n people. of hope. of love and peace. #but even though yk overcoming pain n sad stuff adds more meaning to yk ^^ yh it's still.. #i don't know how to say it right now. bcs there's sm pain that rlly. shldn't have happened? so much injustice.. #but more than that pain the reason why humanity is so special to me is how we learn to live yk n yh #' maybe theres virtua in emptiness but still i drown in distress ' that lyrics rlly comforted me. that whole song #virtue* 😭 wahh my tears have dries i'll shower in a bit n. someway somehow i'll find my way. do things better. so long as i move forward. #there's no hope for something better if no future exists. #so as long as we all keep living. i think that's enough #n life isn't meant to be lived by just one person so.. i'm rlly gna do my best. i'm gna do better.