#you get that filth outta here /jk | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slashingdisneypasta · 1 year

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Oooh you gave me a kiss or diss? Thanks! Now what are the-

I can't believe you'd do this to me Slashing... I thought we were friends (jk of course XD)

Ok, let's get through this. I must answer no matter how difficult XD

HARPER ALEXANDER AND FREDDY KRUEGER!? I... WHY!? It's... It's FREDDY *deep breathes* But it's also Alexander... I... I... Ok fine, I'll kiss if I get to pick what version of Freddy I kiss (I think you said one version was slightly better than the others?). Alexander can comfort me with his southern gentlemanliness after I have to kiss that nightmare demon.

Scroop, Gaston, AND Frollo... You know, this would almost have been a diss since there are two undesirable bastards in this, if not for the fact I'm pretty sure Gaston and Frollo would get too absorbed in arguing with each other to kiss me (I'm certain Frollo would think Gaston more sinful than the average man, and Gaston would be like "But there's no one here like Gaston!". Bonus points if Frollo thinks that Gaston is saying he's a gift from God or something and gets absolutely furious with him). That'll give me time to sneak off with the hot alien XD so Kiss. (Even if they didn't, kissing one of them in front of the other will definitely get them fighting anyway XD)

Driller Killer and Doll!Chucky? Oh that's actually easy, Kiss. Chucky's just a doll, even if he is grabby and murderous, and I'll happily get past that to kiss the true demon of my dreams (maybe he'll be willing to protect me from Chucky if I promise to go 'all the way' with him. Ok bye-)

.... Yeah I'm willing to Kiss the nasty sorcerer so I can kiss Maleficient (at least he's hot-)

Dr. Facilier and Jim Starling... I have to feed into a ducks ego to get the real gentleman... You know what? I dealt with Gaston, I'm willing to do that. Kiss.

.... damn it Definite Kiss XD Besides, Gaston's arrows ain't got nothing on a sea witch

Those are my answers! This was the first Kiss or Diss where it was all kisses XD what about you? What are your answers?

Omggggggg, your reaction actually made me laugh XDD Of course I had to do it to you haha XD Payback for all those kiss/marry/kills in the past!!

Oh you're very brave! XD I'm sure Harper would appreciate your very courageous act in order to kiss him XDD And yes, Original Freddy is better because he is not a pedophile- so, yeah. (Hence why I dissed the HELL outta them both in your last kiss or diss ask!!). And yeah- I would so pick Kiss for this one too XDD

Oh the idea of Gaston and Frollo fighting is so fun XD That giant man thinkin' he's so great and pouting when the tiny delicate old man calls him filth. Plus they're both french so they're arguing in there language, while Scroop stands to the side so confused and angry in 'Grumpy Old Alien' XD I'd happily kiss them all anyway (Well, sort of happily. With Gaston and Scroop).

This one'll have to be a diss from me! ^^ I just don't know the Driller Killer very well and the only kiss I'd give doll Chucky is on the head. And OMG!! Trading yourself for doll protection!! XDD ... respect. salute.

KISS! I'm lukewarm on Mal but Jafar is a whole husband ^^ So... (And yes. He is hot. I'm glad you agree XD They both are! ^^ )

Same as the last for me! Kiss because while I feel eh about Dr Faciler (In that way. i love both the shadow man and Mal as great great Villains- I'm just not attracted to them in anyway), I love Jim. Dramatic ass narcissistic duck.

You're so right, Ursula would probably kick Gaston's ass. I'd so kiss them both too!

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hottakeswithdasom · 7 years

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500 Days of Summer

More like 500 days of dumber am i right

Literally horrible

Just the worst

I cant believe i watched that with my own eyes

Once again the white heteros strike back with even more filth that would make ScarJo vom. Jk

Its the same sickeningly sweet love story about a boy at his "corporate soul-sucking" job meets girl there working as the hot...wait for it... ~☆secretary☆~. Seriously? Just watch The Office. At least its actually funny. And her name is...SUMMER. WOAH. They make out at an office bar/karaoke party, but not before theres a highly intellectual conversation about how she thinks that women should be more independent abt relationships in general(like...ok) and the MC (i fukin forgot his stage name so lets call him Bob) is like "uhh but dont u care abt being married and stuff" and shes like "no not rlly" and then his JACKASS DRUNK FRIEND comes over and is like "ha does that mean ur a lesbian". Somehow, she has the self control to not rip off his dick and respond "yea women can be independent". Drunk friend guy is like "woahhh ur like a dude now". Filth

By the way, the entire movie is displayed in the typical "Vignettes scattered around for some reason" form. Its supposed to be like each day is a day of summer and so each vignette is out of 500 days. Yeah? Ok.

So Bob and Summer start going out, doing typical quirky indie stuff like listen to Beatles and The Smiths records, shouting "Penis" in a public park with children in it for no reason other to be quirky, pretending they live as husband and wife at Ikea, you know. Ugahhab they make an "Asian family" joke that makes me want to stab their eyes out. They basically start running around Ikea, being nasty lovey dovey making out on a bed in PUBLIC and Bob whispers to her "Theres an asian family in our bathroom" and the camera pans to see an asian family in the bathroom watching them.

Im so tired of asians being the butt of a joke, LIKE BILLY BOB AND SUMMER WERENT SUPPOSED MOVE THEIR WHITE NASTY ASSES OUT OF IKEA like assholes the family was minding their own fucking business and these horny bitches think they own the ikea get tf outta here that shit isnt just unfunny its racist as hell. Its supposed to make me think "aha asians? Thats so random. They shouldnt be in this movie at all, in fact, thats why its funny. Because anywhere they go, it'll always be unnatural. Even ikea."

ANYWAYS later theyre at a bar and Summer doesnt rlly want to talk to Bob and a stereotypically cartoon villian guy tries to hit on her and when she turns him down, he's like "whaaaaa but im so hot" and shes like "nah" and hes like "ok whatever i cant believe thats ur boyfriend though" and then BOB PUNCHES HIM BECAUSE OF THAT???? Like ughbsbsb so selfish he wasnt even doing it for her, he was just doing it for his manly pride. NOT EVEN SELF-DEFENSE LIKE FUCK OFF

A happy surprise, Summer is mad at Bob for doing that, but Bob doesnt think so. Later he practically makes her apologize to him as if what he did wasnt messed up??

They eventually break up, and he goes through the Im gonna win her back phase, where he goes to a party that she throws and tries to woo her with a gift. Its an architecture book. Oh yeah he wants to be an architect by the way, but instead for some reason he works at a greeting card company. He writes greetings. Thats all he does. The corporate man bringing him down amirite. Surprise surprise, its not her favorite thing in the world, and she reveals that shes engaged. Bob storms outta there and spends the next several months coming late to work, drinking combinations of whiskey and orange juice and twinkies. Nasty.

His boss keeps kindly asking him to up his work rate REASONABLY because hes been depressed and Bob basically is like fuck off. Finally, at a board meeting, Bob flips the fuck out and screams at all of coworkers that life is meaningless, and that theyre all wasting their lives writing meaningless shit on greeting cards and he gets the chance to say he quits. He isnt even fired he just gets to quit.

Oh yeah side note, throughout the whole movie theres this littles girl that i think is supposed to be Bob's sister and she gives him love advice??? Shes like 12??? She says "dont be a pussy"???? Like wow edgy ok

Anyways so he quits his job and idk he starts wanting to be an architect again, as shown by this unnecessary montage of him drawing buildings on his chalkboard wall in his bedroom.

He meets Summer on a park bench one day, and shes basically like "i hope u find someone" and hes like "ok". Then he goes to an interview to be an architect, when, lo and behold, theres ANOTHER GIRL applying for the same job and the narrator is like "And this is how Bob realized that miracles dont exist". Bob asks her out and shes says her name is Autumn. WOAHHHSHAHBAHAJSJJWKEHDBH GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE SYMMMMMMMMBOLISMMMMMMM

This was worse than the hetero logic in How I Met Your Mother, and almost everything was the same. Even the part about the MC wanting to be am architect. Bc i guess all little white boys dream of becoming an architect-the most painfully math-driven job in the world that is almost nothing like just drawing pretty pictures. And white girls are ok with that for some reason. Like robots

1/10 The hot surgeon friend

1/10 The super kind coworkers at the Hallmark

1/10 idk

=3/10

#500 days of summer #3/10

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