#you know?? the savage sonny milano pretzel ask leo got??? this is how i feel in response to this

[crossbackpoke-check]

Why does Jack talk and move his mouth like his teeth are meant to be a secret?

i’m— (the blogger was too stunned to speak)

i have been thinking about this the entire day and i still don’t have any kind of coherent response because you are Not Wrong and i don’t know how to process this fact??? i stared at this gifset i just reblogged for an unknown amount of time and i can SEE IT like. what am i supposed to do with this knowledge. you bring this to me and expect me to feel normal about jack and his sEcReT tEEtH i am kissing you (with consent) on the mouth anon i don’t think i will ever look at j’accuse’s face the same way again. if anyone needed more references please see here and here and jack talking with his mouth in the flattest line possible so that he only shows off the absurdly white perfectly flat line of his top teeth.

if the why to this question is rhetorical i’m sorry because BOY can i answer that question real quick & it’s because in some au jack’s teeth *are* a secret :) jack is a terrible little pointy-toothed faerie creature playing in the nhl & no one is allowed to see his teeth for his own safety. everyone who’s in the know knows that the hughes have some faerie blood in them, because most of the big legacy hockey families do, and it’s not like half guys in the league don’t have a little bit of something in them—giant, dryad, siren, mermaid, nixie, you name it—but everyone thinks jack is a noble high court faerie, pure-blooded, humanoid & the perfect first overall pick. and jack looks perfect. except for the part where if anybody started to look to close at him they’d be able to tell he’s not quite what he seems and nobody, absolutely nobody, can find out about jack.

#you know?? the savage sonny milano pretzel ask leo got??? this is how i feel in response to this #this feels like the absolute READ someone walks up & blasts you with out of nowhere & i want to watch j’accuse while he tries to comprehend #anyway the tags thesis answer to this question is: jack hiding his little creature teeth from the media :) #is this a universe where all faeries have some kind of faerie mark to show their demonic origin alá tmi/tdpf? does the mark indicate courts? #i would not be the person that knows the answer to this but also JACK THE CHANGELING & no one knows about faeries & jack has to hide his fae #from the regular humans in the nhl (😗 i may have just decided that jack & this ask fall under one of my eight bajillion faerie aus which is: #catch carter faerie prince au #i have said in the ryan graves posts that i think the new jersey devils are cave-dwelling mermaids and like. i’m not wrong am i thanks jack #most fish are piscivores… jack with rows & rows of needle-like deciduous teeth lined up inside his mouth on a rotating replacement carousel #jack’s pale moonlight face & big wide eyes that reflect what little visible light there is to trick other fish into swimming too close— #my brain very helpfully as i look up gifs to insert: look quinnie covers up his teeth too :))) no one can see the hughes’ teeth it’ll reveal #their bloodline :))) jack has a set of fake veneers he puts on like a mouthguard to cover his pointy little teefs & that’s why his teeth #look so fake and white and perfectly flat across like sheepshead teeth in every picture because it’s jack’s fake prosthetic he pops in & out #conversely jack has regular teeth sometimes but when he gets excited his fangs will pop out (i keep giving everyone fish characteristics but #just for the sake of diversity i’m thinking about a set of solenoglyphous fangs & very flexible maxilla so jack can tuck them up alongside #his jaw so that they’re hidden but when he feels threatened or anxious they rotate forward & he always has to be delicate with them because #he can attack in any direction) or jack has small warthog tusks the ivory curling up into his mouth so he keeps his lips pulled over them… #jack is a creature <3 hope that helps that is ALL the brainworms i have today #this perfect secretly not-perfect jack devolving into creaturehood ​evolves convergently with the dirtbag lesbification of j’accuse #liv in the replies #the normal human response to this is just that jack (lovingly) is a lazy freak who doesn’t open his mouth to talk #as evidenced by the video of him & ty out on a date with pk where he just mumbled around the smoothie straw instead of talking #somewhere… i have Tag….. about hey OPEN your mouth i need to see your TEEFS #I FOUND THE TAG AFTER MUCH SEARCHING AND IT HURT MY FEELINGS BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT VLADDY SO I’M CHANGING IT #me @ jack: hold on let me see them teeth real quick i need to check something