#your honor my bbg needed to eat and go on with his malevolent plans

[gentleman-aster]

Reasons why Count Dracula is babygirl:

Fictional

Old man

Homicidal

Kinda gay

Beyond redemption

Spooky and isolated

Tries to act formal and like his plans work but is actually pathetic and kinda silly

#i can fix him :3 #Oh let's forget *certain* allegories from the book ok? #this is just a silly post! so let's just take the book literally:333 #your honor my bbg needed to eat and go on with his malevolent plans #I would play some romantic vampire music and sing and dance and spin him around musical style #while he acts like the character who isn't aware he's in a musical #cause he's not in a musical I'm just silly like that #and that's how he falls in love with me :333 #and I tell him cool science facts and intermingle them with talking about ecology and peace and love on the planet earth #and THAT'S how I fix him :333 #still a bloodsucker tho #count dracula #dracula daily #dracula